The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast
Nick and Amy are the creators and owners of the Ultimate Intimacy App and brand. They dive into all the tough topics regarding sexual and emotional intimacy, and discuss the things that most couples deal with regularly in marriage, that are seldom talked about on other podcasts. They are raw, unscripted, personal, and Nick will most likely say things he will regret ;)
They have been married over 22 years and have 4 kids, 3 dogs, and share their own life experiences and trials that have helped them transform their own relationship. They are on a mission to help couples not just survive in marriage, but thrive in marriage.
Their podcast is focused on helping you find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your relationship both in and out of the bedroom. Also, for a great resource to help transform your relationship, check out the Ultimate Intimacy App at ultimateintimacy.com
The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast
291. Are Different Political Views Causing Conflict In Your Relationship?
Ever wondered how political differences can coexist within a loving relationship without causing constant conflict? Our latest episode promises to equip you with the tools and insights needed to navigate these challenging waters. Join us as we uncover the secret to maintaining respect and open communication when political views clash.
You'll learn how focusing on common values, such as mutual respect and effective communication, can help couples stay harmonious despite their differing opinions.
If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why over 800,000 couples have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!
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You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship. We believe that, no matter how many years you have been married, you can find passion, happiness and romance at any stage of your life. Join us as we have discussions in all areas of intimacy, interview marriage professionals and people who are just flat-out fun. Our podcast is for all couples looking to transform their relationship.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast with Nick and I. I I'm a little nervous over this subject and I think you are too. I told amy I'm like, wow, we just gotta do it we gotta do it.
Speaker 1:It's important. Nick came up with this subject and I have no idea what we're talking about today oh, you have an idea, you just don't know, you just don't know all the details of this idea, any of the details.
Speaker 2:So so I'm gonna pull it up here, as I find it all right.
Speaker 1:So yeah, today's episode, uh yeah I think nick's excited about this one because he is into his politics I'm into my politics.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the world is just a dumpster fire. Everything that could go wrong is going wrong.
Speaker 2:No, let's face it Like 10 or 15 years ago, it didn't matter if you were or what political side you were on. Like you treated people with respect, right, you had friends that had different political views. You had family members that had different political views, yet you probably still got along with them. Great, right, yep. And nowadays you literally have people calling for your death if you disagree or believe another way Like it's the craziest thing we've ever seen and it's sad.
Speaker 2:And if you look at, the reason why I feel it's important to do this is if you look at who causes division and why division is caused, there's always a reason to cause division, and whether it's in your marriage, or whether it's dividing your family or dividing you politically or whatever, there's always a root source behind that. And if you're, you know let's be honest, if you're a religious person, you know who. That is right, right, you know who that is, and so I think this is something we should address. Amy and I we're not going to get political in this. I might make some comments that I shouldn't have, but we're not going to tell you no, he's not, we're not going to tell you who to vote for or who not to vote for.
Speaker 2:This is not a actual politics. This is not a campaign ad that we're getting paid for.
Speaker 1:So anyways, hey we're. My goal is to get through with this and people to still literally. I mean, I both listen to us kind of know where we stand on politics but I would like people that don't know, to have no clue at the end of this podcast. Yeah, well, that'll be our, that'll be our goal, exactly.
Speaker 2:So anything he's gonna regret. And if you are listening to this podcast and take heed, even if you didn't agree with our politics, it shouldn't matter. Right, exactly so. But there are a lot of couples out there that do have different political views, and it's reached wreaking havoc on their relationship.
Speaker 1:So we're talking about two spouses that one has totally different political views than the other spouse. That's what we're talking about, right.
Speaker 2:Correct how it's wrecking marriages. Okay, I hope I have stuff to say on this, because we have the same beliefs in our political views we do, but we have friends that have totally different views and in their marriage, or just than us no just different views than us, but we still have great relationships right right and I think there are certain things you can do to have a great relationship, especially if it's your spouse, right? Yeah?
Speaker 1:right.
Speaker 2:I can't even imagine how hard that is, though no, but I think it's more common than than we think, maybe I really do. Like how in the world can you think that way or whatever? So what we're trying to convey is there's ways to have a harmonious and great marriage with your spouse, and with friends or people, family members, whatever if you have different political views I can I just say one thing really quick before we jump into this.
Speaker 1:I think that what we're about to get into and I'm not quite sure where you're going with this, but I think it can apply to a lot of other things I think that if you're like our I don't want to hear political stuff, we're not going to get political, but like the difference of political is not a thing in my marriage.
Speaker 1:I think this can apply to maybe some religious beliefs or beliefs in other areas that could still apply to this Right. So this isn't a struggle in your marriage. I think this can still be helpful that if there are disagreements in your relationship, maybe this is the way you can work through.
Speaker 2:And I was thinking the same thing.
Speaker 1:Your religious stuff came to my head as well too, because we know a lot of people that have different religious beliefs, and it is a battle right very, very different religious beliefs, but some of the happiest couples we know because they've learned to respect that the differences and embrace those differences instead of letting them tear each other apart.
Speaker 2:So and they're going to do the things that we're going to discuss in this podcast episode. So, right, um, I'm I'm normally well, amy, and I always talk about how important communication is. And I was thinking of saying you know, maybe, maybe in this aspect you do the opposite of what we say and you just don't talk about it, and you're gonna be fine, but that's obviously not the right thing, so not the best tip um.
Speaker 2:first thing is you got to communicate with respect, right. Right, you got to recognize okay. Sometimes I look at people and I'm like how in the world can you think that's right? Or how in the world can you not see how idiotic this is Right? But we got to remember that we all grow up different ways. We all grow up learning maybe from our parents or people around us. We get influenced a certain way. We get our ideas because of how we were influenced, based upon what was around us, and we've just got to understand and be respectful that, hey, you grew up totally different than I did. That's why you think the way you do. That's why you look at the world the way that you do we have had, not political, not religious, anything like that.
Speaker 1:But if you know our story, we have some things that both of our different backgrounds or upbringings were totally affected, like that. Like I look at him, I'm like what are you thinking? Like how do you have any sense of that? That makes no sense. Like I don't even understand where your mind's going with that. And he's looking at me like oh, I, yeah, it totally makes sense to me. This is how I was raised. Like that's what you're trying to say, right?
Speaker 1:Exactly it can be really, really hard when someone was I don't want to just say fed something their whole life, but like the way you were raised made a huge impact on who you are and it's really really hard to sometimes put yourself in other people's shoes when it's an opposite belief.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And there were a couple things in our marriage. In the beginning I was like I don't understand why you came from, how you came from even thinking that mindset on this and we just have to learn to be like let it go.
Speaker 2:You just have to learn to be like let it go, you just got to be respectful like I'll never understand vice versa, right, yeah, and that's okay sometimes that happens, but I think the first thing you need to do is you need to really listen, like you need to understand why does my spouse feel this way, why are they so passionate about this certain thing? And really try to understand and and maybe you aren't going to under, maybe you aren't going to, at the end of the day, agree with them, but at least try to understand where they're coming from and why they feel the way they do for sure.
Speaker 1:I think if you want a solid and healthy marriage, you have to just try to understand, and sometimes that takes humility and just being like I don't have to be right.
Speaker 1:I don't have to be right here yeah I can feel like I'm right all day long, like I can be like no, I'm, I'm definitely right and he's wrong. But keep that. I think you have to find that humility where it's like, I feel like I'm right and I have to let that go, because he's never going to understand me and I'm never going to understand him.
Speaker 2:Well, and unfortunately, unfortunately, um, some people what's right to them? Uh, really does feel right to them, even though you know there's there's times where there's truth and there's non-truth, right, right, and you can't argue truth, you can't argue facts, but there's times where someone's going to feel right about something and someone else is going to feel right about something, and you're never going to convince the other person otherwise, and so you just have to have that mutual respect and say you know what. I don't really understand where you're coming from or why you feel that way, but I respect that. I respect that and I expect that same respect from you also.
Speaker 1:I feel like respect has kind of gone downhill in life, just in life. Like I, I look at all the political stuff going on. I look at people's differences. People cannot handle differences anymore and they mostly hate each other they literally cannot just be respectful. Like our world would be such a better place if and I know things are crazy right now like I know, it's a really big deal what's going on right now. I'm not downplaying any of that, but the respect can still be there for sure, we can still respect other people.
Speaker 1:We can. We can show respect and we can act respectful with our words and our actions.
Speaker 2:We are adults I think you're crazy, but I like you, no, yeah he's joking no so, uh, the next.
Speaker 1:Thing. You probably really thought that before, but that's okay uh, the next thing is find common ground.
Speaker 2:I'll bet you, if you try to find common ground and look at the things you do agree with yeah, we'd like to have more money, we would like to be more free, we would like to have a nicer place, I mean whatever that is right, like find that common ground I think you'd be surprised at how many things you do agree on and how little things maybe you disagree on. Instead of focusing all on the small or little things you disagree on and focusing on the things that you do agree on, like okay, what do we want in our marriage? We want A, b, c and D, so let's focus on those things.
Speaker 1:Right Right, that can be hard. I get it, that can be hard. I get it, that can be hard. I think that comes back to when you're always saying gratitude right, yeah, like, but in this, in this aspect, where, if we really are talking political like and it comes to being respectful and just kind of like, sometimes in this situation you might just have to like let it go a little bit.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:Oh, I totally agree Like you have to decide in this situation is my marriage more important or is my political or religious or whatever it is more important than my spouse? Because if I don't let it go and have humility and have respect and let this quit being a contention in our relationship, I am picking that over my marriage. That is a choice that you make.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got it. You're right, you have to be respectful. You have to be respectful. There's a lot of things in life that you probably don't agree with but you're probably respectful about. Like, maybe you don't necessarily agree on, you know how to mow the lawn or how to raise the kids, or you know that's a bad ad, that's a bad ad Horrible examples.
Speaker 1:Actually, they're not bad you get my point.
Speaker 2:There's things you disagree on, but you still make work, and that's what it's about.
Speaker 1:That's what marriage is about. There's some give and take right. Yeah, that's what marriage is about.
Speaker 2:I think it's so important to set boundaries To say like, hey, what boundaries are we not going to cross? Right, right boundaries are we not going to cross right, right, like if we get in a discussion, where, where are we going to go? What boundary are we not going to cross where?
Speaker 1:where are we going to cut things up, cut things off right, and you know, kind of agree to that and I don't have I'm sorry, I don't have a political like example of like people that I know that have totally different political beliefs, like I kind of I totally kind of don't like in the marriage. Do you know what I mean? I kind of don't even go there. But I do have really good friends that have completely different religious religious beliefs and what you're saying is like the respect that they have for each other, even though they're so different, they're still like so loving about it, like so loving about it like I don't believe that at all, like like he's kind of like anti what she believes and he's like I respect that you're gonna go do your religious things, I respect that you're gonna go to that church, that you're gonna believe that. I respect that and I honor that you are committed to that and I I mean, I think it's fine and I support that you're committed to something and that's a big part of your life.
Speaker 1:I think that's really important for couples to figure out is how do you support each other without letting it divide you?
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And I know political is totally different than religious. I get that. But once again, you have a decision to let it divide you or to not divide you, and you have to be able to talk about it with respect and be able to have discussions and conversations in a respectful manner, and if you can't, you will have to avoid that.
Speaker 2:Yeah Right, absolutely, and I think it's so important. In politics, everything's always about winning, like, oh, we got to win this, or we got to win this, or we got to prove this point. Always about winning, like, oh, we gotta win this, or we gotta win this, or we gotta prove this point. I think in your relationship, try to seek to understand things where your spouse is coming from, and not to win like winning shouldn't be the goal. It shouldn't be the goal. Like, oh, I'm gonna convince them of why they need to think this way. Or what have you just seek to understand? And you know again, why do you feel the way you do and and what causes you to have these feelings.
Speaker 1:Well, I have friends that have completely different political views than me and I definitely like I try to. We don't really get into it because it is. It can be a real source of contention, right, like there's no point in arguing sides at this point, like people, so you avoid debating each other. I kind of I could be a debater, but my friendship is more important than my debate skills and for me, feeling like I'm winning my my friendship is more important than that yeah but we can still.
Speaker 1:We've still had conversations where, like, I am actually trying to understand why you feel about that and and some of my friends with totally different political views have explained certain aspects and I'm like I get why you would see it like that. I actually understand why you would see it the way that usually it goes to well, this and this and this. But when we really do take what you're saying and try to understand, there's usually a deeper reason. I think we're a little more common. I think we just put these walls up. Well, this is what this means and this is what we means.
Speaker 1:And when we try to come together and like unify and yeah and understand each other it so we got to a point in our relationship where we're like I don't, I don't get it, I'm never gonna get it, but I respect you and I am trying to understand you here's how much we respect them.
Speaker 2:Um, we went and and, without their knowledge, put a bumper sticker on their car with the candidate that they hate and they drove around with that bumper sticker.
Speaker 1:So we can play jokes on each other.
Speaker 2:We can play jokes, but that's, that's how much we respect them. They found that out and, uh, we had a for sale sign in front of our house the next day for our house for sale as an open house. So it was a joke we had. We have a good time, and I think it's important to kind of have a sense of humor and joke around and be playful like that as well too. We know who they like and hate, and they know who we like and hate.
Speaker 1:And we still love each other and we have some really fun with it. And we tease each other, but we love each other and that's what's most important, and especially in your marriage.
Speaker 2:Which reminds me we order some stuff to put in her front yard, is that? So, anyways, be kind. Like I said, the point is to be kind. Yeah, um, focus on the bigger picture, like we said. Uh, really try to stay connected and, you know, focus on your relationship rather than the political stuff.
Speaker 1:Um, once again, that is more important. Yeah, that is more important.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is more important yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't have. That's all you got.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't have a whole lot more, but I think it's very important so often. I mean, look at every other aspect of your relationship and your marriage and you'll find that you probably have a lot of differences, like I talked about. But what are the things that you do or don't do to keep it so those differences don't ruin or destroy your relationship? And I think, talking politically before I announce my candidate, talking politically, yeah, it's important to follow those kind of those same things he's not going to.
Speaker 2:Talking politically. Yeah, it's important to follow those kind of those same things.
Speaker 1:I think, too, what we need to realize is put a perspective like how big of a deal. Like I understand that this election is a really big deal. Like I, we, we get that, we get. It's a really, really big deal. But remember, you're just one person and your spouse is just one person. I know that, yeah, you're not supposed to have that attitude when you go to voting, but in six months from now or I mean, I guess three months ruining or wrecking or having arguments in your marriage over this is going to do no good for your future and it's literally gonna be over and there's gonna be nothing that you can do about it. So why wreck your marriage over arguing about political things?
Speaker 2:You're right At the end of the day and I think you make a great point there's so many things in our life that we have control over, and then there's other things that we really don't have control over. Yeah, we can go out and vote, but at the end of the day, we really don't have a lot of control over what happens, Right? I mean, yeah, we have a minuscule, but Still put your vote in, but don't let it wreck your marriage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly right, like in the I mean, when we get to january and it's over, like, were all those contentions or arguments or debates over politics was it really worth it? Did it do any kind of damage to your marriage? Because if it's damaging your marriage in any way and this can go to anything, I mean we can make this like bigger scale right, this can be to anything. If it's damaging your marriage in any way, and this can go to anything, I mean we can make this like bigger scale right, this can be to anything. If it's damaging your marriage in any way, it's not worth it, because your marriage is the big picture, it's forever, it's lifelong, it's forever. Whatever you believe, marriage is like this.
Speaker 2:Well, this would be so minute. Do you know what I mean? I want to make one big point and I think this is really important is oftentimes we look at differences as a bad thing. Right? We say, oh, we're different, therefore it's going to be negative, we aren't going to be able to get along this and that. But in reality, a lot of the times, it's the differences that make us who we are. It makes our relationships actually flourish in many ways. Imagine, imagine if Amy and I were the same way. How awful would that be right?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't know which one you're playing.
Speaker 2:No, but I'm saying, we think differently on different things. We have different hobbies, we have different interests, we have different ideas we have different ideas.
Speaker 2:We respect, we talk about things and we respect the differences, but those differences are probably what make us stronger together, right, because I recognize you have certain differences and strengths and and I have certain differences and weaknesses and but we we do really well together. And so I guess what I'm saying is if, if your political life is that way where you look at things differently, uh, turn those into strengths rather than weaknesses and again focus on the areas that you agree and be united. Focus, I guess, on, instead of focusing on those things that divide you that divide you.
Speaker 2:Focus on the things that unite you as a family, and the decisions that you need to make as a couple that are going to, you know, affect your family as well too.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent. A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:Amen, so it's time to make my announcement. I'm going to we have technical difficulties. Anyways, we hope you enjoyed the podcast. Sorry, this was a little bit different than we usually do.
Speaker 1:But we felt like it was neat, we can't end it. We can't end it.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I'm adding more. You're making an announcement.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to be real. We did a podcast earlier on, a marketing podcast. It was awesome and we talked about some really important things.
Speaker 2:We did, we did. We did things we did, we did. We did yeah, we did no. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We did yeah. I'm agreeing with you. Yes.
Speaker 1:I just totally lost my train of thought now. Okay, I have to add one more thing before you finish. We have talked about like when it comes election time I know, like a lot of wives, I'm guilty of this being so distracted with it. I think this political area also affects marriages. Constantly on your phone, constantly watching the news, and that's not a bad thing. Just finding balance Right I think that's my whole point is like finding balance, like not getting so involved that you're so distracted from your own family and marriage because this next few months is going to get crazy.
Speaker 2:I get what you're saying to me. I get what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Stop it. You have something to say about that.
Speaker 2:No, I agree 100%, I mean.
Speaker 1:I don't have that problem because I'm not glued to my phone about politics.
Speaker 2:But some a lot of husbands and lots of wives are too I kind of have that problem.
Speaker 1:It's just my simple reminder to remember like, when this is over, your family still was most important. So, even though this isn't like okay, what like separating you politically, you could be separated in different ways in your marriage by just being so distracted by all this. And I know it's massive. I know this year is crazy with politics, but just remember that, like once again, you can't change it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really easy to get frustrated, depressed, anxious.
Speaker 1:And that affects your marriage.
Speaker 2:Because a lot of the I mean, let's face it, a lot of the decisions that are going to be made are depending on who's elected is going to have significant consequences for our personal lives, our, uh, how, how we move forward as a country. And so it is a big deal because it does and will have a big impact. But I think, again, it's sometimes things are just out of our hands and and if we can live in the moment and and focus on, as a couple or a family, what, what are the things we can do?
Speaker 1:that's the way and that's that's all I was trying to say is that there's a healthy balance to still being involved in it, but not letting it like wreck you mentally. There's only so much you can do. Your family is still your biggest support. Your marriage is still like supposed to be your rock. So just make sure that you have that balance, not letting it overtake every ounce of you. It can cause anger in us and frustration in us, especially if you disagree with your spouse. It could cause major anxiety, depression, just all those feelings with some people being super into politics, and that will absolutely affect your relationship. Yeah, this podcast episode was brought to you by our very own Ultimate Intimacy products and, because we're talking about such a stressful political conversation, we have to remember that our marriage comes first and our products can actually help you do that. So, anyways, I hope you'll go check out our awesome box we put together. It's the couples ultimate intimacy box. It's full of treasures, good stuff, connecting stuff emotionally and sexually.
Speaker 2:You'll love it yeah, if your candidate's gonna lose, you might as well be making good love that's great.
Speaker 1:Go to shopultimateintimacycom. We appreciate your emails, when you support us, when you write to us, when you buy our products. Keeps this podcast going. We just appreciate everyone's support.