Stay Squatching

Squatch by day, squatch by night, we absolutely love Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Yeti, and all of their mysterious cousins.  We also love some other lesser known cryptids we want to share with you!  In this episode, we delve into cryptids around the world and the mysterious world of cryptozoology - which isn't as strange and outlandish as you may think. 

This episode is produced with support from:

Paranormal history podcast The Ghost Town, available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.

Cryptid-inspired clothing and accessory line Real Unicorn Apparel, featuring all original artwork firmly rooted in unicorn history and folklore.

Critically acclaimed musical comedian and one-mom-band Jessica Delfino on Instagram and Twitter @JessicaDelfino and on TikTok @JustSomeMom.

Want to support the CrimeJuicy Cocktail Hour Podcast and get access to bonus episodes, exclusive expert interviews, CrimeJuicy Presents miniseries and more?  Join our Patreon community at www.Patreon.com/CrimeJuicyGang.

Transcript

DaySquatching

[00:00:00] 

Carrie:  Welcome to the CrimeJuicy Cocktail Hour. I'm Carrie Anne.  

Becca:  I'm Becca. 

Krista:  And I'm Krista  

Carrie: Do you guys believe that big foot exists? 

Becca: Hell yeah I believe big foot exists. 

Krista: Yeah, I believe it.  How could we have evolved from primates and not have had some of that in-between survive?

Carrie: Kill everything.

Becca: The interesting thing about cryptozoology is that once a cryptid is confirmed to exist, it leaves the field of cryptozoology and just joins the field of zoology. So cryptozoology actually seems a lot weirder than it actually is.  Some examples of animals that we all know and love that turned out to be real that were once cryptids or cryptids until just recently.

The list actually kind of surprised me. So first of all, the Komodo Dragon. I seen it at a zoo in Minnesota, I didn't realize it was a cryptid.  But I guess there were like whispers of a giant prehistoric lizard, roaming around Indonesia. And it wasn't actually confirmed that the Komodo dragon existed until 1910.  The Platypus, which is a personal favorite and also what Krista’s power animal.

Krista:  Yes. My power animal. 

Becca: Was a cryptid. In fact, a carcass was found in 1799, and it was described in an edition of the Journal of Natures and Miscellany, I think that's how you pronounce it.  The carcass was described and esteemed zoologists everywhere were just convinced it was a hoax. They're like, no way this is real.  They actually thought it was the work of Chinese taxidermists.  They're like, no way, no way, but now we all know the Platypus is weird and real. And you know, I'm thinking if the Platypus is real, why not Big Foot like the Platypus this way…

Krista:  So the Platypus secretes milk through its skin when it - for its babies after they hatch out of their eggs. Cause they're mammals.  I wonder if this, how the Sasquatch feeds it's young.

Becca: Does it lay eggs and secrete milk? 

Krista:  And that it pools in its belly button and that's where it's young drinks it's milk from too?  Could the Sasquatch be venomous? 

Carrie:  Yes, it could. Humans are going to be venomous one day they think.

Krista:  I think we are ready. 

Carrie:  We are. 

Becca: Oh shit. Well then the giant squid and then the colossal squid.  The giant squid’s over 40 feet long and actually 2000 years elapsed between the time they were first seen by humans to the time where they were actually confirmed as a species.  So these were cryptids for a long time and we all know giant squids are real now. The okapi was known as the African unicorn for a while because the colonists just like did not believe it existed. And the people that lived there were like, no, the okapi is real and they were like nah, but then like, I think it was in the 1800s.  I might be wrong about this. It was the 1800 or like somewhere therein where an actual carcass of the okapi was like discovered and they're like alright, the African unicorn is real. And that's another one I've seen that the Minnesota has like the weird tongue. 

Krista:  Isn't that the giraffe?

Becca:  It's like a giraffe, but doesn't have like a lot of neck, but it's got like more, it looks kind of like it's wearing leg warmers and the skeleton. 

Krista:  Oh yeah!  It's like the mix between the donkey and the zebra, that weird animals, but it's cute. They are cute. They are cute. I will say that. 

Becca:  Yeah, but even the gorilla was a cryptid for a while.  So many animals have been cryptids until they were confirmed to exist and then just became hard to zoology.

Carrie:  We can go back to the lion man artifact from Germany.  It's about 40,000 years old. It's a piece of ivory. That's a half man and a half lion.  It's the oldest piece we've got.  We've got this cryptid this half animorph all these things around the animal type of human crypted-nus going back a long time. We've been thinking about it for a minute.   It's on walls. It's on actual figurines. It's everywhere. We've got so many, a different animal head on a body. I mean, almost every Sphinx is different in Egypt with a different head body, whatever. I mean, pick, take your pick.  It's been with us a long time.  

Becca:  Every single culture has some sort of cryptid in it.  A lot of them have a variation of Bigfoot.  Bigfoot's my favorite cryptid. I just love Bigfoot.  I know, in the words of my boss, Justin, if I were a gambling, man, I wouldn't bet on it, but I'm not a gambling man.

Carrie:  I love Bigfoot. I love Yeti. I love Sasquatch legends. How about you, Krista?

Krista:  There's one also in Australia or he is alongside Australia, other Australian myths.  His name is Yowie also known as Yayhoo who Y A Y H O O, yorkie, hairy man or Yahoo.  Yes.  He's also very Sasquatch looking like a hairy man with sharp teeth, eyes close together, large nose. But instead of actual, human hands, he has claws.  I know you guys can't see this at home, but they know what I'm doing. 

Becca:  She’s got three fingers out the thumb, the forefinger and finger, and she's making talons.  Bigfoot and Sasquatch. That's the nomenclature of North America and Sasquatch actually came from the Pacific Northwest.  In the 1920s, the Indian affairs agent for up in British Columbia agent JW Burns, compiled local stories of sightings, and then published them.  The tribes up there maintain that Sasquatch was real. And I think it's interesting. Cause I think that echoes what happened with the okapi, how like the people that were local to there were like, no, the okapi is real. And like the colonizers were like, no way. It's the African unicorn. And then an okapi showed up and they were like, Oh.  That's a weird zebra donkey.   

Carrie: The Black Feet have a name that is close to that. It doesn't, it's not Sasquatch, it sounds more gluteral in your neck when you hear him say it, it sounds cool. 

Becca:  The term Bigfoot actually originated in 1958 in Humboldt County. A logging crew discovered these massive footprints around their logging site. And they thought that someone was pulling a prank on him, but they kept showing up and showing up and then a journalist ran a story about it and everyone was stoked.  And yeah, I guess a third of all of the Bigfoot sightings happened in the Pacific Northwest.

Then the skunk ape is in Southeastern United States.  I might not have thought of that. I like what I saw that I was like, Oh, so it's like a big old stoned hippie, like skunk ape maybe. Who knows these days.  And then in Asia the, Almas, the Yeti or the Yaren. And then the Yowii we in Australia.

Not only have there been sightings of these, but all of them are super ingrained within the cultures of the region.  There's a Sasquatch Festival about an hour away from me every summer and it's always packed. 

Krista:  Why have you not gone to this? Why not? Why, why have we not gone to this yet? 

Carrie:  We need to go to them all. I love them.  I bet the fans are fun. Oh yeah.

Becca:  I want to hear… 

Krista:  I like a furry person. Not, not a furry.

Becca:   I'm sure there’s furries that dress up like…

Krista:  Like there's no good way to explain what's going on in my brain right now.

Carrie:   Is now a good time to bring up gigantipithecus?  That's who they think he is.  Gigantipithecus was a primate, not a homosapien primate, but a different primate about 10 foot tall, he would have fit the description.  And there are anthropologists today that will say he could still exist if there was a spot because he had everything he needed to make it. Just like the gorilla, just like their orangutan. 

Becca:   Yeah. And the gorilla was a cryptid.

Carrie:   You can't look at an anthropologist that believes that and tell them they're crazy because we've had it happen before. 

Becca:   Happens all the time. 

Carrie:  If that's the case and it's really hard as hell to find the damn gigantipithecus bone anyway. And we've got Sasquatch, Bigfoot, no bodies.  I told Becca this theory years ago.

Becca:  I've been repeating it ever since, because I love it.  

Carrie:  I think they eat each other after they die. We have several societies that do that to this day. It is, you need to consume the body. You got to hide it. You got to keep it within the bloodline. You know, you got to utilize all the calories that your tribe collected, whatever math method you're talking about in your brain to use it.  There's different reasons why you would do that. And if that's the case, we wouldn't have anything.  I would use the bones for marrow.  Bone broth. I mean, I’d use it.  I'd use it to pieces. 

Krista:  I don't know about cannibalism bone marrow soup, I bet bone marrow soup is really good.

Carrie:  I'd be fine. It might be fine. You know.

Krista:  Maybe, maybe there's. I mean, I guess, I don't know. I was going to say something about STEM cells, but I don't know how STEM cells and heat do together.  Yeah, the prions, but I'm just saying you know.   Oh, if you ingest a younger person's blood,  you know, you're going to get to do something.

Carrie:  What I'm talking about is when you die, if you're a tribal member of our Bigfoot group, we, everybody consumes you. So nobody can have you but us, nobody will ever know you ever existed. but your tribe that's, that's what I'm talking about. 

Krista:  Well, I guess the Yetis are also known to be shy creatures. 

Carrie:  We haven't found any bodies.

Krista:  They live in places that. I guess we can't…

Becca:  I think it'd be easier to be a Himalayan and hide than a California Yeti and hide.

Krista:  Not only that the people that live around them are usually Buddhists.  They leave them offerings probably. Those are the [00:10:00] best fed Yeti or Yetis there like the, the bougie Sasquatch, bougie Squatch because.

Becca:  Bouge-squatch.

Carrie:  We definitely believe that they are the elite, the Yeti they're up on the top of the Himalayas floating.  Ooh.

Krista: They're very  shy, peaceful creatures.

Carrie:  Some free peaches and some free pineapples. And they. 

Krista:  I don't know that those things grow in the Himalayas.

Carrie:  They can import them from Bali and get some extra points. 

Krista:  They're probably treated nicely, but I don't think they're treated that nicely.  Most of the people climbing around Everest had some good, freeze dried food. Cause some of that food is really good. I'm not going to lie. I'll leave me some space food any day. Some of it, not all of it, but a good chunk of it. Those peach cobbler ones, I bet those Yetis are happy.

Becca:  Actually space food reminds me of another Sasquatch theory that I love. It's the sasquatches are actually fourth dimensional beings from space and they're here collecting plant specimens. They're like intergalactic, botanists.  So they're here collecting plant specimens. I don't know if it's like, just for funsies or in case we end up, you know, cause then maybe they notice we like a lot of shit goes extinct here, but I really liked that theory because that also explains why we don't find the bodies because they had just like pop back out of existence or into their other dimension. But I think it's kind of cool. I can just see Sasquatch walking around the forest with this space satchel.

Krista:  In that case and say they were time traveling aliens. Alien botanists time traveling. Do they ever really die then? Because then wouldn't it be a forever cycle of the same one coming back because that's why we only see them so frequently because it's always the same one, but you have to wait for that time ripple to happen again so that they come back and do what they need to do.  But because our time continues to move forward. 

Carrie:  We just need to make a movie, write a treatment of that with some Sasquatches that would…

Becca:  Oh my God. You could call it Spacesquatch

Carrie:  Spacesquatch, that’s the one. That is, come on. Okay. This is getting cut out of the show.

Becca:  Copyright Spacesquatch. 

Carrie:  Copyright it right away. 

Becca: Yeah. But so I was looking up Sasquatch sightings and so a lot of them happened near in North Idaho, near Spokane. And a lot of them happened in North Idaho by Montana, but one that really caught my attention and it caught my attention because President Teddy Roosevelt wrote about it in his book in 1893 called the Wilderness Hunter.  And it wasn't his Sasquatch encounter that would have been extra bad ass, but it was the Sasquatch encounter of a man that he met named Baumann and Roosevelt seemed to tentatively believe in like, believe him to the point where he's like, I'm going to write about this. So basically Baumann said that his beaver trapping camp near the Idaho Montana border was ransacked by a quote unquote foul-smelling bipedal creature who stalked him and then broke his companions neck.

So Baumann emerges from the woods and they're like, where did, like Bob go?  And he's like, Oh, Bob's dead. The Yeti got him. And Roosevelt was like, Oh my God, the Yeti got above it or write about this. And he was like, well, I don't know. Maybe he was like culturally persuaded by like him believing in Sasquatch to be good with.  Or maybe he just killed Bob and took the beaver. And then that Theodore Roosevelt. 

Carrie:  He killed Teddy. He snowed Teddy and he was 

Becca:  Like, well, well, and I think, I mean, Teddy Roosevelt's bad ass president.

Krista: Teddy had such a lust for adventure.

Becca:   He did. And I think if any US president was to meet a Sasquatch, it probably would have been him.

Krista: He owned a moose!  He would have owned the Sasquatch. He so totally would have been like, you know what, I'm gonna own you. 

Becca:   And he's like, all right, just don't tell nobody. Okay. And then the moose goes mooooore. And it's an agreement.  Somewhere like in the bowels of the White House, where like Sasquatch still lives, he's got his like cush, Sasquatch pad. 

Krista: Hey, like, if anything, that would make sense. I mean…

Becca:  Stranger things have happened. 

Krista: We felt, we found stranger things in the White House. 

Carrie:  We have. 

Becca:  We have, speaking of stranger things. Carrie, I'm looking at her. You guys can't see, but she's got a picture of it creeping up behind her, on the Skype. 

Carrie:  That’s the Moss Man of Florida and he was described and first described in 1978, which kind of surprised me because I heard about the Moss Man, I know when I was four or five years old in Indiana, and that couldn't have been more than 1975, 1976. I say there's more legends of the Moss Man than just the legend of the Moss Man in Florida.  He supposed to be covered in moss. Of course.  My legend that I'm going to go with is that he's very fast and he runs and he hides in cemeteries has got dark red eyes.  He used to be whatever, but it's a half plant, half human swamp thing, kind of dude and Moss Man's my fave. We need to make a movie. 

Becca:  He looks like he could blend in with like all kinds of habitats, like back there behind you. He's covered in lichens. And when I first saw him behind Carrie, I thought he was a tree, but then I realized he was a sexy half plant half men. 

Carrie:  Yes. Yes. Swamp thing.

Becca:  Yes!  Disguises himself as a salad. He's like in the grocery store, like blends in, just throws himself up against the vegetable wall. 

Krista: All I was here for was some cucumbers. 

Carrie:  I don't know really what his motivation is, why he chases people, why he chases and scares people.  He runs after cars.  He runs after people and scares them. 

Krista: Is it like, does he tend to habitate areas that could conceal possible drug activity and, or human trafficking activity or possibly endangered animals.

Becca:  Florida Man? 

Carrie:  It’s possible. Okay. And we have found out that the Florida Man thing, isn't really as much as a thing. 

Becca:  They just have really loose reporting laws. So it is…

Carrie:  But it's cute.

Becca:   It's the Florida Man - Moss Man is Florida Man, like Moss Man is the OG Florida Man. He like came out of the swamp and started like chasing people around the graveyard.  It was like Florida Man covered boss like chases cemetery patrons on Wednesday afternoon.

Carrie:  I love it. I love it. But I mean, if you were in a cemetery and he was standing there, I mean, you would not know.  

Becca:   Especially with all the lichens hanging off of the trees anyway, he totally looks , like a tree stump trunk. 

Carrie:   Yup. He’d scare me. Dark red eyes. I'm gone. 

Becca:   Yeah. Like that's no tree. That's Florida Man!

Carrie:   No. What do you got Krista?

Krista:  Mine is called the Wood Booger. He is a hairy humanoid that lives in the Appalachian Mountains. So out by you Becca.  He is also known as the devil monkey.  He carries away young children, like the boogeyman call him the booger.  They have a TV show about him on Animal Planet apparently and they also consider him the second more aggressive species to Bigfoot.  But it's also more of like, is it. like a legend too, or a folk story to keep kids from wandering off into the woods or keep them on their property?  Other things like that, I mean, it's not animals carry children off into the woods all more than people think, way more than people think.  But yeah, he's the, he's the boogeyman of the Appalachian Mountains. 

Becca:   Ah, shit I wonder if he's what smashed into my furnace the other night. 

Krista:  Oh, is your furnace okay? 

Becca:   Oh yeah. 

Krista:  It was your furnace. Cause those are expensive. 

Becca:   Boogieman’s like I’m sorry I broke your furnace. I was just trying to steal your kids that you don't have.

Krista:  Like, I thought you had, there was a Pogo stick outside. Thought there were kids.

Carrie: Is it aggressive? It's not like Bigfoot or Sasquatch. This one's aggressive. Is he tall or short?

Krista:  It's big. He's big. He's big. Just like Sasquatch. But they believe that it is a second species. So like an evolved.

Becca:  Got angry. 

Krista:  Yeah. Just it's the devil monkey. He has, they say he has red eyes that glow.  He's also very mostly seen in Saltville, Virginia. 

Becca:  Ooh. I know where that is. Oh my gosh, we do a cryptids road trip around Appalachia when y’all are in town next?

Krista:  Yeah. That sounds nice.  We couldn't go if we do that, we could go to the Wood Booger Grill. 

Becca:  Yes. 

Carrie: Lovely. Do they have hamburgers or ribs? 

Krista:  I don't know.

Carrie: I bet they’re ribs. 

Krista:  I bet they have a little bit of everything.

Becca:  But who's ribs. Right? Ooh. Feel like we just got a pile of bodies, delivered out back and we just decided to…

Krista:  He's been busy. There's been some, you know, wandering people all over the place.  Like, so yeah.

Becca:  We opened up a restaurant. We just had to do something. 

Krista:  Yeah. So Norton, Virginia, get ready for us. 

Becca:  We're coming.

Carrie:  Oh, no. 

Becca:  They were like, Oh, we're ready. We've been expecting you. 

Krista:  Share your, share your stories about the Wood Booger or let me know more. 

Carrie:  We need to know more about this. 

Krista:  There is a Wood Booger Fest as well. Southwest Virginia to go to the Sasquatch festival. We're going to have to go to the boogers festival. We're going to have to find a Yeti [00:20:00] festival. I bet there's a Yeti festival on the Himalayas. 

Becca:  Absolutely. Oh, that'd be cool to go to.

Krista:  Yeti fest! My gosh.  Yeti Fest 2021.  Lake of the Woods.  Yeti Fest.

Becca:  Minnesota?

Krista:  Yes. 

Carrie:  There’s a Yeti Fest in Minnesota? 

Krista:  Lake of the Woods. 

Becca:  Oh my gosh. 

Carrie:  We got to go there guys.  We need to do a panel. 

Krista:  Like, how did we not know about these things?

Carrie:  Because we didn't do a show yet. That's why, it's so that we learn. We hope you're learning with us. 

Krista:  Yeah. Lake of the Woods Brewing Company is where it’s being held y’all, Yeti Fest. 

Carrie:  Oh. And we're going to have beer too. Yay.

Krista:   Yetis and beer now. Okay. I have to see if it's Yeti, animal Yeti or the cup? Oh, it was a no it's like the Yeti plunge and the St. Patrick's Day River Run.  So it's, it is not cup related. They’re. Awesome. Those cups though. 

Becca:  And someone should totally dress up like a Yeti and like ransack a festival. Not necessarily ransack it, but like at least run through it and 

Krista:   Throw beads at people. Chuck ice snowballs, not ice balls, the don't chuck ice balls at people.  So we're going to go do a Yeti plunge, and then we're going to go get aggressive with some wood boogers, and then we're gonna go chill out with the Sasquatch.

Becca:  That sounds great.  I've got another West Virginia Appalachian area cryptid. I don't know if there's a festival about these.  The sightings have been exclusively in West Virginia and it's called a Sheepsquatch.  The Sheepsquatch also known as the white thing. It's said to be four times the size of a bear, although it has also been said to be a bear, it's said to have both one or four eyes  it's bipedal it's covered in wooly white fur, it has a long pointed head, similar to a dog with saber like teeth and a set of goat horns.

 It's goat, dog, bear tiger. And it's bipedal. I'd said to have a sulfur-like smell, which is actually a common trait of cryptids from the Appalachian region.  It said to let out an aggressive scream, it's a loud gut-wrenching scream.  The sheepsquatch  has been cited around West Virginia since the 1920s by, you know, coal miners, the like.  I heard in the Counting Cryptids podcast, that there was actually some Cherokee folklore background to this.  It wasn't very detailed, but they were basically  this big white bipedal dog appears and it's like a harbinger of doom. And it sounds like a sheepsquatch to me, it was in that region.  In 1929, a coal miner named Frank Kozul - I think that's how you pronounce his name or Kozul – saw it while walking home from work in July in the woods in Morgan's Ridge in West Virginia, and Morgan's Ridge is where most of the sheepsquatch sightings have occurred. But these sightings have been occurring - there was a big cluster in the 1920s, and then the cluster started again in the 1990s and went through, I think the most recent one was in like 2017.

One of, one in the two thousands, but this man basically ate a bunch of mushrooms and went out into the woods, looking for a spaceship, but instead he found a sheepsquatch.  And another one, these two men were out on a hunting trip and something killed their dog and then they were attacked by a sheepsquatch.  And there was an instance where these two kids were playing in a yard and they saw a sheepsquatch and they kind of startled each other. But for the most part it's said to be aggressive, more aggressive towards livestock, not necessarily people, but it will mess you up and if you see the sheepsquatch, you should run. And like so many other cryptids the sheepsquatch has actually become a part of pop culture in some ways that I wasn't expecting cause like this is the first time I heard about it. But it actually became a character in the video game, Fallout and in the game it's theorized, you know, it's never really explained where it came from, but players have theorized  it was a farm animal mutated by radiation.  Some think it was an unholy union between man and sheep that created the sheepsquatch. 

Carrie:  Can you stop? Okay. Can you that one more time, because Krista coughed a couple of times. 

Becca:  Okay. So sheepsquatch became a character in Fallout, the video game Fallout, and it's theorized by game players - cause it doesn't really have like a backstory in the game and they're not like this is the sheepsquatch and blah, blah, blah.  But it said that So the character was, you know, inspired from the Appalachian cryptid, but gamers, theorize it to be either a farm animal mutated from radiation or an unholy, like the results of an unholy union between man and sheep. And I don't know, maybe a little bit of both. Maybe like a man was fucking a sheep and they got hit by radiation and then the sheepsquatch came out.

So who knows? And then the movie Black Sheep, of course y'all seen Black Sheep. 

Carrie and Krista:  Yes. 

Becca:  Yeah.  Nuff said. So, sheepsquatch.  Another Appalachian wonder out here in these woods, but over in West Virginia, specifically.

Krista:  Virginia seems to have a lot of them. And apparently, so there is Cryptidcon 2021 that is in Frankfort, Kentucky this year. A lot of the individual ones have like their own festivals.

Carrie:  Would you look up and see if there's one for the Jersey Devil? 

Becca:  Oh, I bet there is.  That's a great example of  a state rallying behind their cryptid.  They're like, this is our guy.

Carrie:  They love him. 

Becca:  Jersey Devil Festival. There was one in 2019. Yeah.  Jersey Devil and Fabel Festival in Welpersnatch.

Krista:  If someone says, Oh, Hey, do you believe in this? They're like, if you asked an anthropologist or somebody who is in zoology, even, well, you know, it's, I've seen crazier things.  In some of it's like it's used to keep your children in line.  If you think about it, don't go wandering off because if you do, there's going to be this giant, hairy, stinky thing that's going to take you away. Or there's going to be this weird thing that looks like half a…

Becca:  There’s going to be a goat dog bear. 

Krista:  Even in the Egyptian time!  

Becca:  You cannot get Sphinx pee out. It smells forever. 

Krista:  Make sure you got enough coins for that weird coyote over there. 

Carrie:  Krista you got a good point because if lot of people around you believe it and they can all substantiate what's going to happen to you. Your mother's threat will have more duplication and more meaning.  

Krista:  Exactly. 

Becca:  Sasquatch walks across your yard and mom's like, Oh damn.

Krista:  I just wanted those things.  And then the Yeti is the, the bougie Squatch.  And I don't know if anybody has children here, but I have young ones at the moment.  And there's this movie called the missing link where this guy he's a Teddy Roosevelt. He just wants to know it all.  He's going after the Lochness monster.  He has  a stack of letters from people saying, Oh, I saw this or whatever. And it's this weird stinky little letter. And it turns out. Well, he goes over to America, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He finds a Sasquatch and the Sasquatch is like, I know that I have relatives in the mountains or whatever, and it turns out to be the Himalayans.  And then he finds Yetis and the Sasquatch was the hillbilly of the species.  And the Yetis were like, get out of here. But how did you even find us? 

Becca:  About cryptozoology is because it's curiosity meets imagination meets folklore meets  the world that we live in, which is weird.

Krista:  Truth, like they said the Platypus was fake. How that's not a real thing. It's a duck beaver. 

Becca:  It's a taxidermy project. 

Krista:  Someone just found things.

Becca:  And spliced them together and called it a Platypus. 

Krista:  I mean, they do call them the, you know, leftover pieces of God's plan or whatever, if you believe. So let's see what happens and we stick this, but this would the ability to do what this creature does, but be classified as that one. We do have other tribes and people that haven't experienced the new world, not many, but they are out there and some of them are still undiscovered.  Who are we to say? It's like missing link thing.

Becca:  There's a lot of open air.  There's a lot of wilderness area and I think it's interesting that a lot of these sightings are being made by people that are logging in remote areas. And they're like, what's up with these footprints? What's up with all of this? 

Carrie: And there was a logger in Washington that I talked to that got a rock threw at him by something yelling and he saw it.  It had hair.  It scared the shit out of him, but it was trying to scare him away. It threw a rock at him you guys.  It wasn’t a small rock.

Krista:  So it's really just like family of people that live in the woods and don't want people to log and industrialize their area. 

Carrie: Well, okay. Let's pretend like it is a small family of Sasquatch or a small family of Bigfoot, whatever you want to call them.  The hairy ones that that are maybe even part multi, multi-dimensional coming back and forth. They want to keep their area clear while they're gone or whatever. You know what I mean? Keep people out of that area. I could see that.

Becca:  Like Goldilocks and the three Sasquatch is except for it's like Sasquatch is and like a logger. 

Carrie: There's another movie, the Sasquatch and the Logger.

Becca:  Three squashes, Goldi-logger, and the Three Squatches. That's what I'm calling it. 

Carrie: And we've got a sasquatch who can't transport because he doesn't have enough hair. And we'll describe how humans have the same amount of hair, but his hair’s too thin. He's got like alopecia or some shit.

Becca:  This squatch is too hairy.  This squash is too bald. The Squatch is just right.

Carrie: So he has to stay on the planet all the time by himself.

Krista: [00:30:00] He would change to like the Sadsquatch.  

Carrie: The Sadsquatch and the Logger, even better, even more. 

Becca:  So it’s the story of friendship in unlikely places.

Carrie: Because he had to be there and the logger had to be there for his job and they had to become friends. He has to be my friend. I need a friend.  All my other Sasquatches temporally transported.  They won't be back 20 years. 

Becca:  Cause I'm going bald. He's all still covered in hair, but yeah.

Krista:  And the logger is also suffering from male pattern baldness and they bond on that level.

Becca:  And then they get buddy tats on their heads.

Carrie: Maybe the Sasquatch has a bald ass and they both get an I Heart Mom on their asses.  

Krista:  Or they find out that the logger has the right texture of pubes to do hair plugs for the Squatch so that he can time travel.

Becca:  I’m gonna miss you when you leave with my pubes.

Krista:  If anybody wants to write that movie with me.

Carrie: I’m gonna have to cut out half of our whole next season, just because of the IP alone. 

Becca:  It's okay. All right. Yeah. But another reason I believe in Sasquatch is for the same reason that the okapi is real and the people that lived there were, Hey, it's real. And the people that had just gotten there were like, nah, that's not real.  It's not something that we know what it is. And you got tribes in Canada being like now squatch just real.  It's something that they've had to deal with.

Krista:  I think, they're real. Or it's the crazy environmental group that somebody started it and it just had to continue.

Becca:  Oh one of the secret societies, the got started and it's gone through a couple of generations and they're like the mole people, but they're the Squatch people.

Krista:  Yeah. Hmm. 

Carrie: Could be.

Krista:  The protectors of the forest.

Becca:  Throw rocks. Yeah. Okay. Any closing thoughts on cryptids? 

Krista:  They're cool.

Becca:  They're so cool. They make life better. 

Carrie: That’s one my favorite lines of discovery in my opinion. I think it's fun. If you get bored, go cryptid hunting.

Becca:  Right. You can always go crypted hunting.

Krista:  I mean, they've made movies from them. Like what, Moth Man.

Becca:  Right? There's the Netflix episode called Squatching. Yeah. Like this dude hunting for Sasquatch.

Krista:   Yep. And then there's also the Greek mythology, because how do we know that some of those animals and the three-headed dog wasn't real?  Or the lizard that if he cut its heads off, two heads grew back, right?  How do we know, how do we know  that wasn't a day to day occurrence for them at that time? 

Carrie:  A dragon is considered a cryptid technically on the list. It's just not the scrubs, you know, but it's on the list.  

Becca:  And then there are shapeshifters, which is a whole other.  

Krista:   If anybody watched True Blood, liked how they depicted the shapeshifters in True Blood. 

Becca:  That was great. 

Krista:  And the vampires like blew up. I mean, would you consider a vampire?  Because we're animals. 

Carrie:  I consider a vampire cryptid in my opinion. Yes. Yeah. That doesn't exist.

Krista:  Technically.

Becca:   I feel like that's out of my wheelhouse to make that determination. 

Krista:  Oh, okay. So in your personal opinion.

Carrie:  Sasquatch would be a primate and we consider him a cryptid.  A vampire is a primate, right? 

Becca:   Wait, bats are marsupials, or am I making that up? They’re not marsupial's are they? They're mammals, right? 

Krista:  Correct. 

Becca:   Okay. Okay. 

Krista:  Mammals versus, well, where do they put their babies?  They put their babies on their back.  Sugar gliders are so cute. 

Carrie:  And when I see him, I'm like, I wonder what that tastes like. You look so sweet.

Krista:  You think they are a palm-sized, possum sugar gliders are considered a possum.  Hey flying squirrels. I don't know. I've never seen one.

Becca:  Thank you for joining us on CrimeJuicy. We love cryptids and we love you. 

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