Giving Others Dreams

Produced by  Citlali Perez  |  Women are being imprisoned at higher rates than ever.  As they return home they face a unique set of challenges, because they are often their families primary caretakers they face harsher parole oversight, making it all the more difficult to reckon unresolved trauma. G.O.D. helps these women meet their immediate needs (such as clothing or housing), and then works with them to find a path back to a productive and happy life.

Transcript

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: [00:00:00] 

Nothing is ever the same. 
 In this universe, things always change. 
 From food, clothes, politics, and presidents, 
 Everything is clear and evident. 
 We sit quietly in the storm of life that blindsides us. 
 Walking in the storm without an umbrella as we cuss. 
 Nowhere to find shelter, nowhere to change into something dry.
 Looking up in the sky, asking the very question, why? 
 While all I do is cry.

Citlali Perez, Producer: That's Lithia Crafton, reading Lost. A poem she wrote in Cook County Jail, awaiting trial in Chicago.

Now, two years after her release, she's trying to be more present with her family, and make up for lost [00:01:00] time. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: Be careful, don't fall. I can see. My daughter got up and cooked breakfast this morning. Yeah, that's the pot roast. It's still cooking. It's gonna cook for another four hours. But I'm about to put these screens on.

Okay. Okay. Okay. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: Lithea's in the kitchen preparing mini cheesecakes, while her granddaughter just wants a bowl of leftovers. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: Oh, I just told her, I said, she gonna come in here and want the bowl. Look at you. 

Granddaughter: Why are you making so many? 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: I'm making little ones so y'all can have one and the rest are mine. 

Granddaughter: What?!

Citlali Perez, Producer: Her granddaughter is one of the people she missed most while she waited five long years for her day in court. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: But this is my, this is my daily routine. Eight o'clock in the morning. I got up at seven o'clock this morning. I started cleaning. Uh, once I got through cleaning, I got the food out, prepped it, put the crock pot on.

That's been on since about nine. All [00:02:00] my life I've been on […] a lot. I was a working mom. Two jobs. Grandmother. Um, homeowner. And I was just working. I had a job at the YMCA as a food aid and teacher's assistant, and then also as a supervisor at 360 Chicago, just being a productive member of society.

Citlali Perez, Producer: Being a mom and a grandma was the most important to Lithea's. She often said the only thing that would send her to jail was protecting her family. Then, in 2016, Lithea's and her family's routine was disrupted. Her job, her goals, the things that bring her joy, it all took a pause. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: But once I became a mother, and I vowed to protect what God had given me, um, And I've always used to tell my kids that your mama ain't never going to jail unless somebody tried to hurt y'all. And I spoke it into the universe because that's [00:03:00] exactly what happened.

Citlali Perez, Producer: On this episode, the ripple effects of imprisoning moms, and how a village of formerly incarcerated women is working to heal families. This is Citlali Perez with Giving Others Dreams for Change Agents, the podcast.

Celia Colón, Founder, Giving Others Dreams - G.O.D.: Hi, I'm pulling in. Uh, what color car are you in? Oh, I see you. I see you. I'm coming. I'm in this white truck right here. Okay. All right. I'll be right there. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: It's 10 a. m. on a Saturday and I'm running with Celia Colón, the director of Giving Others Dreams, or GOD. She's [00:04:00] meeting a woman who was recently released from prison. We stopped in the middle of a parking lot on Chicago's south side.

Celia Colón, Founder, Giving Others Dreams - G.O.D.: Welcome home, Queen. So, I always give all our sisters flowers because you deserve your flowers. And I just want to congratulate you for showing up for you. Because I know it's hard sometimes for us to seek help. Yeah. So, I celebrate you for seeking out help because we're a village and you ain't alone. And I want you to know that.

Okay. I already sent you…

Citlali Perez, Producer: Today, Celia owns three businesses. She has spoken in front of politicians and in support of legislation, but her passion is this work. 

Celia Colón, Founder, Giving Others Dreams - G.O.D.: This is a positive affirmation that I created with one of my mentors. I read this morning. I've been doing this for 20 years. Okay. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: Greeting women returning home after incarceration.

But back [00:05:00] in 2000, when she returned from prison, Celia was alone, and just 25 years old. 

Celia Colón, Founder, Giving Others Dreams - G.O.D.: I had two class X felonies. Um, I'm coming back to a poor community in South Chicago. At that time, I didn't have a really good relationship with my family. They seen me as this girl that was in a gang and that would bring trouble to their door.

My mom didn't even want me at her house. So, I had like literally nowhere to go. So, I had to start thinking about my action plan. Like, how was I going to survive? 99. 9 percent of the people that I run into, I don't know the pain they're carrying because it's theirs, but I truly understand their pain in some sense, in some way, because I lived in those shoes, right? I went through those things. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: There aren't many organizations meeting both the immediate needs of women after prison and providing ongoing support. Celia says this care is often the difference between [00:06:00] healing and reentering the criminal justice system. That's why she started G.O.D. 

Celia Colón, Founder, Giving Others Dreams - G.O.D.: And I know we talked and I know you have a past of dealing with substance abuse. So, I wanted to give this to you. Yeah. I want you to put this in your room? Every day, I want you to read it. And read it out loud. You want to read it together? Alright. 

Stay positive, work hard, and make it happen. 

Yes, baby, that's what it says. Magic. Welcome home. Thank you so much. I'll see you soon. Nice meeting you. I'll see you soon. See you soon. Alright. God, she's so happy.

Okay. But you see, like, it's priceless. You can't really explain, like, the energy transfer that happens there, and the hope, and the smile on their face, knowing that they're connected to a village, because, like, reentry's for life, you know? And it gets hard. And I don't want people to think it's fucking easy, because it's not.[00:07:00] 

But, when you have a village of support who understands your path, it makes it easier. You know? 

Colette Payne, Women's Justice Institute: The population as it relates to women in incarceration is not centered. Our experiences aren't centered. Um, you know, we experience trauma or have experienced trauma before incarceration. And then, it becomes intensifies as a person that's incarcerated.

A woman is incarcerated and separated from her family. Um, and people very seldom talk about that. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: That's Colette Payne from the Women's Justice Institute. WJI is one organization that Celia connects women to after their release. 

Colette Payne, Women's Justice Institute: It's not just a, Oh, here you are and you, you go on about your way. Life is forever happening for folks.

Um, just because you, provide them with [00:08:00] one support doesn't mean that they may not need another one.

Citlali Perez, Producer: It was a hot, sunny day in 2016 when Lithia felt her kids’ lives were in danger. She said an online argument led to a family member harassing her and her adult children. She called the police numerous times, but no one came. Then, on August 4th, he came back with his friends. The physical fight resulted in someone's death.

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: I went to jail for not protecting my kids because somebody was trying to hurt them on their home front. That's the kicker.

Citlali Perez, Producer: The charge was first degree murder. Lithia was given a $90,000 bond which she couldn't afford to pay. [00:09:00] This was before Illinois ended cash bail in 2023. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: I felt like our whole lives was changed forever at that moment. That we could never get back what we lost. Um, I felt like being that we were productive citizens and we were working and going to school and doing everything to make me ends meet.

You know, if you got money, you ain't going to jail. But if you ain't got no money, you going.

Citlali Perez, Producer: Lithia says her heart sank when she realized how long she might have to wait for trial. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: That our whole lives was destroyed by the system, a system that is supposed to serve and protect, a system that is supposed to, you're supposed to be innocent before, until proven guilty, but I feel like you're guilty until you prove yourself innocent.

Citlali Perez, Producer: Lithia is not unique in this experience. Women are the fastest growing prison population. Women are also more likely to remain incarcerated pretrial because they can't afford bail. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: Going to court day [00:10:00] after day, month after month, year after year, and still no resolution. COVID hit and, um, having to postpone our trial date.

Citlali Perez, Producer: Unlike prisons, jails are not designed to hold people for a long period of time. Cook County jails, especially bad lawsuits, have described mold rats, leaky ceilings, and no hot water. Lithia said she also witnessed a suicide and her dad died while she was waiting for trial. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: Jail is not a place, it's not a corrections. It's not to get people to do the right thing. It's just a place to cage people like us and make us, make us feel like we're animals, when we're not, and I, I just, I just don't want to ever have to be on the other side of that wall again. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: Many people end up with chronic illnesses and complex trauma because of these conditions. Lithea had a hernia and other [00:11:00] illnesses that got worse in jail. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: So I said in my mind, I say, you're gonna have to deal with this. Just get you some pain pills and you're gonna have to deal with this until you get home.

Everything is. Gone. Nothing is in plain view. 
 Strolling around barefoot in the open space, having not a clue. 
 If I begin to run, where will I run to? 
 There is no one in sight. Not a house, a store, no one to talk to. 
 My mind is in an overload, Lord. What should I do? 
 Take my hand, my child. I will see you through.
 I'm trying, I say, a loud word to myself. 
 But I'm trapped in the middle of nowhere. Like a book on the shelf.

Citlali Perez, Producer: Life after incarceration [00:12:00] is uniquely challenging for women. They often bring physical and mental illness home. Women juggle parole requirements, finding housing or a job, and repairing relationships with family or children. And their communities feel the impact. 

Celia Colón, Founder, Giving Others Dreams - G.O.D.: Because a lot of times people go back to prison on technicalities because they don't get their mandates done.

Because once you start a job, or start school and a job, and you have these mandates, you can't really take off to go fill these mandates, right? So, we try to get the system out of the way so that you can live your life.

Citlali Perez, Producer: Tonight, I'm at a weekly event G. O. D. calls Wellness Wednesdays. The goal, practice mental health, have fun, and build community. The walls are brightly decorated. There's music playing and the [00:13:00] smell of sage lingers. Tonight, the office is set up for a sip and paint. There's a cooler of craft beer by the entrance, and each table has small canvases depicting different flowers.

Celia Colón, Founder, Giving Others Dreams - G.O.D.: Yeah, you know, I need to relax the music. Now, we got to do this. Hi! Welcome, welcome! So, the theme is, grow through what we go through, find your flower. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: This the one I'm painting right here. I make it a point to be here every Wednesday, um, so that I can cleanse myself. Even with being in the, in the position I'm in right now of being unemployed, I come here Wednesday so that I can cleanse myself from all the job applications filling out and all the interviews and nobody's returning the call saying, okay, we're going to give you a chance.[00:14:00] 

Giving Others Dreams: (Singing) I love you.

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: There are a lot of people and a lot of agencies and a lot of jobs out here that says they will hire felons, right? But they get to choose what type of felon they want to hire, and most of the time. If you have any type of murder conviction on your background, they don't want to hire you because they're judging you.

They're thinking, if I hire this person, would they come here and kill the whole entire establishment? 

Citlali Perez, Producer: Almost two years after her release, Lithia is still looking for work. Her daughter, Marcella, has been taking extra shifts. Yet events like Wellness Wednesdays keep her from getting demoralized. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: Every time I wake up, it's like two or three [00:15:00] voicemails or messages or text messages from Celia with job, you know, information or any type of financial assistance that I can get.

They're there. And that's all I really wanted was somebody to be there because I've never had nobody in my corner. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: GOD helps about five women a month, giving each a care package and connecting them to resources. Celia says the greatest gift she can provide is a sisterhood of formerly incarcerated women.

Celia Colón, Founder, Giving Others Dreams - G.O.D.: We don't do this alone. We do this with a network of other supporters and social service people who care and just regular people who come in and volunteer and share their services and share their expertise.

Citlali Perez, Producer: That connection was a key turning point for Lithia, who met Celia several years into her incarceration. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: She came in and shared a story about how she went to jail. She was telling me like. Continue to fight. Don't give up. Stand up and be accounted for. Cause I did the same thing and [00:16:00] now I'm out here fighting for you guys. That's where she gave me the fire to start fighting for my own case and my kids case.

Someone wake me. No. How about pinch me? It's not real. 
 The dreams I'm in feel so real with a strange feel. 
 Wake up, someone says, as they tap me on the shoulder, 

As I awake, I'm staring into the face of this huge bulldozer.
 My home is gone, I faint feeling dry to the bone.
 What am I to do? I guess I got to be strong and move on.[00:17:00] 

Citlali Perez, Producer: Determined to get back to her life, Lithea's took a plea deal. Because she was a first-time offender, the court said she only had to serve half of her six year sentence. When she was released in November 2021, Lithia had already spent five years and four months in jail. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: We had to start all over again. When I came home, I remembered one person that made an impact on me while I was there, and that was Celia Colón. She welcomed me like I was never gone. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: Celia has seen the change in Lithia. When not looking for work, Lithia volunteers with G.O.D.. 

Celia Colón, Founder, Giving Others Dreams - G.O.D.: When you're able to help people thrive and actually not just survive, they become different people. She's always asking me, “Are you going to any events today? Are you speaking anywhere? Can I come with you?” She's doing all these things with a smile on her face. Because she understands that she's in a space of healing and that she's not healing alone. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: And so these programs have helped me to [00:18:00] not only regain my footing in the world, it's to also be my motivation, to be my mentors and my coaches to, um, let me know that yeah, you made a mistake and you served some time, but you are not what the justice system say you are. 

Ooh, it smell good in here. Woo!

Citlali Perez, Producer: It's a chilly Sunday afternoon in October. I'm back in Lithia's living room, sitting on the big white sofa. The smell and warmth of Sunday dinner fills the house.

The pot roast has been cooking for hours - a special request from her daughter. Collard greens simmer on the stove. The cornbread was just placed in the oven. The TV can be heard in the other room where Lithia's [00:19:00] daughter is doing her friend's hair, and Lithia has some news to share. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: They called me Thursday morning, well Thursday afternoon, and offered me the position, paying $25.50 an hour, uh, for the hours of 12 a. m. to 8 a. m. Um, and it would be Monday through Friday, no weekends or nothing like that. Um, so it's really, it's really not easy. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: Lithea's got the job through her new community. A friend at the Women's Justice Institute encouraged her to apply. She'll be a peer support specialist, helping survivors of domestic violence, addiction, and mental illness.

The position doesn't require a degree, but Lithea's says it will give her a sense of what she wants to do within the field of psychology. She may even go back for her master's. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: Because I have some family members that are still behind bars. I have some friends that are still behind bars. I have some young ladies that I consider daughters that are still behind bars.

So, I want to be their voice. This is, this is the [00:20:00] start of a new path. Um, so I'm just grateful. I got the job and I'm just ready to get back to it. 

Citlali Perez, Producer: Two years Lithia's family is still struggling financially. Her children have been affected by their own time behind bars. Despite the uncertainty, Lithia has continued writing on a Facebook page called Encouraging Thoughts with Ms. Lely. Now, her words have a different meaning. 

Lithia Crafton, Giving Others Dreams: And I say, um, whatever happens in life to hurt us, thwart us, mislead or misdirect us, there is beauty in resilience. There's beauty when you continue to say, even though I'm going through this storm, nevertheless, I will come out on the end victorious. Because I know I'm not going through this alone.

Maurice Bisaillon, Executive Producer: Thank you for joining Change [00:21:00] Agents, the podcast series, looking at grassroots actions and solutions through stories told from the inside out. Produced by Juneteenth Productions, the music composed by Sarah Abdullah. Funding support provided by the Chicago Community Trust, the Field Foundation, and the Wayfair Foundation.

Additional support provided by the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation and DePaul University's College of Communication. Subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, and wherever you find podcasts. Follow Change Agents on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and the website changeagentsthepodcast.com.