How Gentle Hands-On Work with Your Horse Deepens Your Connection, Reduces Your Stress, and Boosts Well-Being

In this episode, Mary Debono shares the unexpected benefits of Equine Debono Moves for both horses and humans. Inspired by Mary's studies in the Feldenkrais MethodⓇ, Debono Moves was originally designed to help horses move more freely and reduce tension. But as you'll hear, this gentle hands-on work can be a two-way street of healing and connection.

Mary recounts a recent experience with a Trakehner mare that exemplifies the deep, almost magical connection that can occur during a Debono Moves session. She explains how the practice requires equestrians to be fully present, creating a state of shared awareness with their horses. This mindfulness not only enhances the effectiveness of the method for the horse but also serves as a form of mindfulness meditation and stress relief for the human.

The episode delves into the science behind why this connection feels so good, touching on concepts like neuroplasticity and the power of living in the present moment. Mary illustrates how the skills developed through Debono Moves - presence, attentiveness, and adaptability - translate into other areas of life, improving overall well-being and relationships.

Listeners will learn about the wide applicability of this technique, from young horses to seniors, and how it can address various issues including tension release, improved athletic performance, and recovery from injury. Mary also shares practical tips for listeners to begin incorporating elements of this practice into their daily interactions with their horses.

Whether you're a competitive equestrian looking to improve your horse's performance, a recreational horse enthusiast seeking a deeper bond with your mount, or simply someone interested in innovative approaches to mindfulness and well-being, this episode offers valuable insights and inspiration. Happy listening!

Resources:

💥Learn how the Feldenkrais Method can help improve your seat, position, and balance on your horse! Free rider videos masterclass: https://www.marydebono.com/rider 💥

Email mary@marydebono.com

All information is for general educational purposes ONLY and doesn't constitute medical, veterinary, or professional training advice. Always use extreme caution when interacting with horses.   

Transcript

Hi. Today we're going to talk about how equine de Bono moves is not just for your horse, and in other words, it can help you as well, and quite profoundly, I might add. And just in case we're meeting for the first time, my name is Mary de Bono, and this is the easier movement, Happier Horses podcast. So, yeah, so I. I recently had an experience I just have to share with you because it perfectly encapsulated why I love this work so much and why I'm just so dedicated to teaching it, to sharing it, to wanting you to know all about it.

So I was working with a beautiful Bay Tricainer mare recently, and, you know, as you probably know, you know, I use my hands to very gently support and guide the horse, help them feel how they could move more freely, how they can relax their muscles and use their body more efficiently. So it's a lot about reducing unnecessary tension in body and mind, and also in coordinating movement so that it's more balanced, it's more athletic.

And this is true for horses of any age, from very young horses to quite geriatric horses. You know, it's. And everyone in between, right? So lots of performance horses, etcetera, helping them use themselves in a healthier, more comfortable way. So now, as I was working with this tricainer mare, I just felt such an incredible connection with this horse. Like, really, really, truly just, there was this deep connection.

And I also had a pretty overwhelming sense of gratitude towards her, towards the whole experience that, you know, even though I've been doing this work professionally for more than three decades, I'm still tickled. I'm still, like, just so grateful that I get to do this. It's such a fun. It's such a fun thing to do, right? It just feels so good and, you know, but it really got me thinking, because when I work with horses and other animals, too, I might add, I also work with dogs, cats, rabbits, the occasional iguana or pet rat.

You know, when you get, especially when you get those really deep connections, it just leaves you with this incredible kind of glow. It. It really enhances your well being and it lasts. And I really started wondering, why is that, like, what is happening that causes the benefits to the human as well? Because this isn't just for me. Like, my students tell me this as well. Many of my students will have these experiences where it just feels so good.

For example, someone this morning, one of my students, in my movie, your horse coaching program, she said to me, yeah, I know what you mean, Mary. She said, I thought I only had five or ten minutes, and I was going to do a little bit of hands on work, you know, before I tacked up. She said an hour and a half later she was still doing it because it just was so rewarding.

So rewarding. Now, why is that? Well, this is what I think. Okay. This is what I believe. You know, one of the amazing things about horses is that they live in the present moment, right? So they. They respond to the present moment, whereas us humans, we're often in our heads, we're in the past, we're in the future, we're basically anywhere but here. And we run all these mental programs, like, continuously, even when we're not aware of them.

Like, we have thought loops that are just constantly playing themselves over and over. Sometimes we're aware of them, a lot of times we're not. There's so much unconscious stuff going on that affects us even though we're not aware of it. So horses are not burdened by that. They're not googling things and, you know, wondering about this or that. And it really makes it easier, in many ways to work with them.

They're more of a clean slate. They're like purer in many ways. Now, that doesn't mean they don't have certain behaviors that come into play. Of course they do, but they don't have all the mental baggage that we do. That's a big plus. And they serve as good examples for us. They remind us what being present is like, but really embodying their life experience. And then, and this is a really big one, to really help your horse, you have to be fully present yourself.

So in this work that I teach, the de Bono moves work, it's a conversation. It's a kinesthetic conversation with your horse. It's a dialogue. So in other words, you're using your hands to feel things, to ask questions with your hands, to provide new sensations for your horse so that they can create new neural connections that allow them to move easier, to feel better in their body and mind.

But it requires you to listen to the horse's responses. As I said, you're asking questions with your hands. You're not making demands. It's not a monologue. It's not do this. I put my leg on you, for example. If you're right, you know, and you're going to do this, no, no, no. It's a question and a response. It's a dance. You're. You're basically creating a dance of new possibilities, new beginnings with your horse.

So again, what does that require of you? That requires you to be fully present? That is so life affirming. So your nervous system starts to practice, if you will, what it's like to have presence, to be present in your own experience. And the beautiful thing about this is that this then translates to other things. It's like your horse is teaching you how to be more present, how to be more mindful in your life.

Okay? And you enter into what I call shared awareness with your horse. So you both become very interested in the same thing at the same time, the same sensory experiences. And I have to say, it's a blissful feeling. Many of my students have said that. I remember once this woman had come to a couple of my workshops, and then one day she emailed me and she said, mary, I got it.

She said, I got into that state of bliss with my horse. And what she was doing was, it's something I call sternal circles. It's something I teach in my programs. And it's, again, she was in that state where her and her horse were both really interested and attentive to the same experience. They were co creating it again, you know, this is something we do with the horse, not to the horse.

And she said, I got it. She said the state of the feeling of bliss was just amazing. So she got it. She understood. And this can take practice, this can take time to develop, because at first you're still learning the mechanics of the work. You know, you're learning how to use your hands, what to do with the rest of yourself. But then it just becomes this shared awareness again, this sensory experience you have together with your horse.

Okay? And I'll tell you how important it is to really pay attention to your horse and be willing to change what you're doing. So I also recently just taught an in person workshop in Michigan. And I was doing, I was showing the students this something I call muscle lifts. And there was this many, all the horses were amazing, wonderful. There was this big, big horse named Gray. He was a gray warm blood.

He was used to be a show jumper. And I was doing a muscle lift with gray, like, past his shoulder a little bit, just behind his shoulder. And he was okay, but he was kind of moving around a little bit. He was a little distracted. So one of the students asked me, she said, what do you make of that? And I said, oh, I'm trying to figure that out.

I'm trying to see or feel what he's telling me. And so I was willing to adjust what I was doing, of course. And all I did, I kid you not. All I did was I changed the angle of my hands maybe an inch or two. And he suddenly took a deep breath. He stopped moving around, and you could tell he was like, okay, you can keep doing that forever.

Like, he just got such a feeling. You just sense the relief in him. And the students all saw it. They were just like, what just happened there? And again, all I did was because I was listening to him and willing to change, because this is a two way street here. It's a dance. I was willing to just change what I was doing slightly, and then I got it.

Then I really helped him feel a sense of relief so he could let go unnecessary tension in his body. Okay? And this is really delightful for both of you, because then it's like you and the horse are feeling the benefits of this connection, of listening to each other. It's like you're both getting reinforced or rewarded for that. So again, I want to emphasize this also translates into other interactions you have with your horse.

Okay? So, you know, it's, again, when you're using your hands in this way, in this attentive way, you're creating a dance of new possibilities for yourself and your horse. Again, you're both laying down these new neural connections so that you can move with greater ease. Right? Letting go of unnecessary tension and just feeling better in body and mind and deepening the connection between you both. Okay? So it's like you're opening up new pathways for moving, sensing and connecting.

So if you think about this, like, what is it that we want to help the horses with? You can think, we want to help them, again, release unnecessary tension in body and mind. We want to help guide them so they can move in a more balanced, athletic way, use their back more effectively, you know, be more supple through themselves. We want to help them do this, by the way, regardless of their age.

This is true if you're helping a very young horse, maybe a horse that had been injured or had some maladaptive movement habits or recovering from something, or very, very senior horses, like really geriatric horses. I've worked with a number of horses that were pushing 40 and helped them feel better, help their joints be a little looser, their muscles a little freer, okay? And then all the horses in between all those ages where they're very athletic and you're helping improve their performance, and then very importantly, you're helping the horse connect joyfully with you.

Now, think about that. All those things can apply to you as well, right? You could use your experience with the horse, your interaction with the horse, this dance I'm talking about to improve how your own body and mind feel like, in other words, you can keep reminding yourself to release unnecessary tension because that's going to allow you to help your horse more, too. Okay. You know, so as you do the work, you can think about this.

Like, no matter how old you are, you can move with greater ease. You can feel more connected with your horse. So in this process, as you listen to each other, as you communicate through contact and movements, you can experience this greater well being. It's just such a beautiful gift that the horses give us. They give us this opportunity, and I think a very good name for this. I thought of this a long time ago.

It's kind of a play on words, but it's awareness through animals. And I say animals because, yes, doing this with your dog, your cat, or whoever is a similar experience. And it's kind of a play on the term awareness through movement. Because you might know in the Feldenkrais method, we have these movement lessons that are called awareness through movement lessons. Okay? So this process you can call awareness through animals, because it's through this dance that you're, you know, of your hands and your heart that you're becoming more aware.

You're enhancing your own awareness, okay? Through this. And again, it's not only about that interaction with your horse, but this carries over into all facets of your life. And I just think it's a wonderful gift that the horses give us. They give us this opportunity to feel better in body and mind, and it's really transformative. So many people these days are stressed. They're anxious. We might have physical issues, certainly.

Again, maybe some mild mental health issues with anxiety, things like that. And this can really help. This can help lower your stress. This can help you feel more connected to yourself. I think that's a big part of it. It's like when you take the time to connect with your horse in this way, you're actually connecting to yourself, to your own experience, to your own life, and realizing what works for you and what doesn't.

So the same way you're helping your horse kind of make better choices, let go of those maladaptive movement and behavioral habits. You're doing the same for yourself. Okay? So, you know, and I want to say it's, you connect more with your horse, with yourself, and with the world around you. So as we wrap up this episode, I would encourage you to think about how you can deepen your relationship with your horse.

You know, starting with something as simple as a scan, what I call a hands on scan. You could just take a few minutes to slowly, slowly run your hands over your horse, maybe before you groom or, you know, tack up or do anything like that, and just be present with what you feel, you know, think of. You're just picking up sensations with your hands. You're not trying to correct anything with your horse.

You're just noticing what is. And by doing that, you're helping your horse be more aware of their body as well. So again, it's a win win. You know, I've designed this work to be a win win to help you and your horse at the same time. So I really thank you for listening. I thank you for caring about your horse and yourself. And please let me know maybe some interesting experiences you've had with your horse or something you want help with.

And I might do a podcast episode for you, so feel free to email me. Mary@marydebono.com and I look forward to talking with you again soon. Bye for now.