MAGGIE THE CAT

Maggie the cat; what can I say.   Cats are a special thing in our town, especially Maggie who was never domesticated but decided to become part of our family anyway.    Her adventure -- going to the vets, is one of the stories of our town narrated in NO JUNK MAIL.

Transcript

MAGGY THE CAT
Copyrite, 2008, James von Feldt

All rights reserved

January, COLD, COLD, COLD in Pulaski.   

Another cold, cold, cold day in Pulaski.  We only use Cold 3 times when it stays below zero, yup 0 degrees for 3 days and nights in a row. There is about ½ inch snow on the ground too so it even looks cold.  I didn’t go out for 3 days except to feed the dog, cat and chickens which came out to eat/ drink then immediately went back where it’s warmer.  

The dog’s got a big house.  Course Mandy is a big shaggy dog.  The dog house is big enough for me to crawl in and I do when something needs fixin and she (Mandy) don’t like it one bit.  She growls and tries to get in with me and then she shoves me out.  I figured out if I just have to fix something in there I gotta tie her up first so she don’t run me out.

Last summer I added one inch Styrofoam board insulation on the inside walls.  I had already had it under the floor.  Then I added a mix of cedar shavings and straw to about six inches thick.  When it’s real cold she gets to the back of the dog house then kind of burrows down into the straw sticking her nose out.

One time the cat was in there when Mandy went in.  I think the cat must have been sleepin cause nothing happened for a little bit then bang, bang, something hit the roof and inside cat screams and woofs – noise- straw flying out the door then the cat took out like a rocket with the dog stopping at the door barkin and barkin for 10 minutes.  I haven’t seen the cat in there since which brings me to the cat house.

Yes, I built a winter cat house for Maggie the Cat.  She won’t use it unless it’s really cold – which it’s been since January 7th.  Usually she stays in the Barn/chicken house in the back yard.  Or, at least I think she stays in there at night.  Days – when its warmer (15-20 degrees) she’s on the back porch in an open box.  I always have a cardboard box on the back porch cause that’s what I keep the kindling in for starting the fireplace in the morning.  Well, for cold nights I took a card board box and lined it all around, top sides and floor with one inch thick Styrofoam board insulation.  It’s about two inches higher than she is when she’s standing up.  I cut a little door in one end and stuffed one of the rugs she likes to sleep on into the box – that’s the Cat House.  Big enough for her only.  That way with the rug and insulation she curls up – but whatever you do don’t put your hand in there when she’s sleeping.  I did once and I won’t do it again – she is still, after all these years, mostly wild.  Can’t pick her up either or she’ll get you with her claws or teeth.  

I’ve had to take her to the vet a time or two and they don’t want to see her coming but I figured out how to do it.  I have a two box system - two boxes – one slips right over the other.  

She loves to sleep in an open box on the back porch.  I get her to sleepin  in the day time in the box with the open top then sneak up and put the other box over the top – carry her (Dixie carries the box)  – I drive to the vets – give the box to them – tell them what’s wrong then we leave.  

They get all dressed up with leather gloves, funny lookin leather hats and apron before they take the cat-in-the-box into a small room and lock the door.  That’s when we leave cause last time the helper was cryin and the vet was swearin and the cat got out of the room and all the dogs in the waiting room were barking and jumpin up and down and peein and two got loose and was trying to catch the cat tell they cornered her and then she got them good with her claws and they came running back yelpin and the owners were slippin an fallin on the peed floor.  It was all Maggie the cat’s fault.

So, now we just leave and wait for a call.

Now when she come home, in the two- box system, she is groggy.  I think they are dopin her up or something.  She don’t seem to know where she’s at.  In fact, one time I called the vet cause I got the wrong cat.

Looked like Maggie but was all relaxed, you know, when I let her out of the box she just looked all around and went prancing by the dog house – which was the first clue something was wrong cause Mandy came charging out of her dog house and off they went three times around the old oak tree in the back yard and old Mandy was catching up which means that she really was trying to get that cat.  Mandy is 10 years old and got bad hips to boot.  Well, the cat finally figured that up the tree was the place to be and man she went up, up, up way to the top and you know how high that old tree is – maybe 70 ft high.  There was Mandy – barkin, barkin, barkin.  Now that’s not the way Maggie the Cat acts. She’s mostly wild feral cat.  

I remember seeing Bill Bisel’s medium size dog – about half the size of Mandy come into our back yard.  Don’t know how he got in cause its fenced all way around.  He ran into Maggie and wished he never woke her up.  She was riding him digging her claws in and he was yelpin and crying and running all over the yard.  I heard the commotion and came out of the house in time to see him make his final pass around the garden and out the back gate – under the bar.  Right before he hit the bar Maggie jumped off, twitched her tail and walked off like nothing had happened.  

Never saw that dog again and also, when we were dog sittin for John and Becky we had to take their dog out front door and put it on a leash to do its business cause Maggie would attack it in the back yard.  Course their dog is a little smaller than Maggie and not used to cats that attack.  Then the only dog I know that wasn’t afraid of Maggie was Sid, mom’s dog.  Remember Sid? If fact, he’s the reason we got Maggie – but that’s a story for another time.  Ask Peter about it.  Anyway, I figured this cat was not Maggie cause Mandy almost never chases Maggie.

So I called the vet and sure nuf there’s a problem – somebody else picked up Maggie by mistake – looked a lot like their cat being mostly black.  But by the time the people were almost home – lady carrying cat in her lap in the car – the cat woke up and went crazy.  The guy driving drives off the road almost hits as telephone pole.  He called the vet with his portable phone.  The vet told him to wait there and whatever you do don’t let the cat out of the car.   Well, the vet arrives with a tranquilizer pistol and finally gets the cat in a cage.  The report in the paper said he also shot the lady who was threatening to kill the vet. 

Like I was sayin the vet brought Maggie to our house in one of those little cat cages.  He was lookin a little peeked at the time and later we found out why.  In fact, there was a story in the Bloomfield Chronical that told it all – well, mostly all.  

It said that the driver whose name I will refrain from using cause he’s still hot under the collar and threatening to sue me and Maggie the cat right along with the vet and the sheriff and deputy who responded – but I get ahead of myself.  The story in the paper said he first called 911 and they thought something terrible was happening cause the cat and lady was making a terrible noise as it went nuts running all over the car clawing the driver and the lady.   The cat was trying to get out of the car and running round and round even jumping up and hanging on the top of the car header shredding it.  The lady was terrified and screaming.  The man was trying to hit the cat as she ran around.  Cousin Clifford told me that the car roof header was covered by my insurance but he wasn’t sure about the claims of torture, scratches, etc. to the people.  He was researching that.  Anyway, sheriff Davis and deputy Mooney who were having a coffee break at South Fork Diner at the time responded to the call for help.  It took 8 minutes to get there according to the paper and by then the vet was already there.  

Like I said, I had called the vet saying there may be a problem.  He had a call from the car with people screaming and he dropped everything picked up his emergency bag and hi-tailed it off to where they were which according to the paper was the Bloomfield golf course down the ditch over the green close to the road and into the sand pit.  The vet told me he was there in 3 minutes and I believe him even though the lady said it took him 3 hours.

The vet knew what he was up against and when he got there her husband had locked all the doors and was holding down the locks between rushes the cat was making at the windshield where upon he used his hands to try to bat the flying cat to no avail I might add. Except he landed a few on his wife in the process and that showed in the picture of her in the paper.  

Well, the vet whipped out his tranquilizer pistol which was already loaded and finally got the guy in the car to lower the window about one inch which according to the paper was the last straw which made the lady go “Bonkers.”  That’s a physiological term for people that are highly agitated, energetic and do strange things.  

Apparently she didn’t understand what the vet’s intentions were and thought he was going to shoot her which is what he did – accidently, of course, as she was now jumping over the front seat into the back seat where upon the cat attacked and she jumped back into the front seat screaming all the time.  Meanwhile the vet is taking shots trying to hit the cat.  

That’s when Sheriff Davis and Deputy Mooney show up.  By that time the driver already had been hit by a tranquilizer and was slumping more or less peacefully over the steering wheel with his hand still holding down the door locks.  The lady and the cat in the car according to the story in the paper were playing tag.

Deputy Mooney, being a bit younger and more agile than Sherriff Davis, immediately sized up the situation, raced out of the patrol car and tackled the vet knocking him out and flinging the tranquilizer gun over the rise onto the golf course green almost making a hole in one.  At first blush from Sheriff Davis’s perspective, the vet may well have looked like a malicious neer- do-well threatening the inhabitants of the car with a pistol.  But things sometimes are not what they first seem to be.  

By the time Sheriff Davis got to the scene the deputy was getting up and recognized the vet who takes good care of Roger his Great Dane. Deputy Mooney was confused.  The vet was laying there in the sand out like a light.  The gun Deputy Mooney was sure he saw was nowhere in sight, though it was just over the rise on the green. 

By this time the lady in the car was slowing down, acting very strange but still screaming.  At first Sherriff Davis did not see Maggy the cat.  Since the doors were locked the Sheriff took his handy window smasher and smashed the window to unlock the doors and get people out of the car.  He said he never saw anything move as fast as that cat, in fact, he said he thought something had been shot out of the window.  He was looking at the lady in the car and was intent on getting her out.  Well, he did.  

When the vet came to he saw the window was busted and assumed the cat was long gone – but not all was lost.  The cat was up a nearby tree whereupon soon it fell out as one of the shots the vet had taken at the cat had hit its target.

We got Maggy the cat back.  Owen, a neighbor boy got the black cat out of our tree and to the vet. The lawsuits are pending and Pulaski is calm again.

Lots of love

Grampa jim