End the Silence - Stories of Nurses
End the Silence - Stories of Nurses
Integrating Holistic Nursing with Bryanna Reilly | ETS09
How can we as nurses show up and co-create a holistic health care system that addresses people in the deep ways people need?
In today's episode, my guest Bryanna and I are exploring the heavy impact of nursing on our lives as a whole and how the original conditioning influence of our young selves sets the foundation for the burnout and challenges we face in the future.
Sandra's Key Takeaways:
1. The constant pressure and expectations of being a women and nursing grad impacts our sense of self and our self care
2. Internalizing the traumatic experiences of nursing
3. Owning your role and responsibility in your life and career and facing your emotions
4. Tapping into the origins of our beliefs and the foundation of our behavior patterns.
5. Differences in wellness coaching and nurse coaching, and the similarities.
About the Bryanna Reilly
Bry is a Board Certified Nurse Coach. She supports nurses in a 1:1 or group setting while using coaching strategies and mindfulness practices to help them unlearn self sacrifice, create realistic self care, and build relationships that give back to them. 6 years as a Registered Nurse, Bry has spent the bulk of her career working in the psychiatric, critical
care, and medical-surgical specialties. Bry is dedicated to the holistic health of those she serves so that they can harmonize their professional life in alignment with their personal life.
nursecoachbry@bravingwellness.net
Instagram: @nursecoachbry
About Sandra Payne:
Sandra Payne is an ex- Registered Nurse and Master Certified
Holistic Trauma Informed Coach and the owner of Sandra Payne
Wellness and founder of the exclusive Nurse Rx Coaching Program.
After 13 years working within the traditional health care system and
experiencing first hand the challenges that come with nursing, Sandra
has a keen understanding of the heavy unrealistic expectations in
nursing, the moral distress, and the stigma that keeps many nurse’s
struggles with depression, anxiety, and trauma, hidden in silence. Out
of this intimate understanding was born the Nurse Rx Program
through witch women nurses learn and practice a host of skills and
exercises to manage stress, process emotions, and heal trauma
within a safe group collective of other nurses.
Join the community of support - Facebook group Surviving Nursing
https://www.facebook.com/groups/638818697054847
Connect with Sandra Payne here https://
www.sandrapaynecoach.com
Check out the International Association of Wellness Professionals Wellness Coach Training - https://iawp.ontraport.net/t?orid=91998&opid=28
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prompt you there
Sandra Payne:welcome back to another episode of the Emma silence podcast where we share the real raw and authentic experiences of nurses across our great nation and by an alignment start that again. Welcome back to another episode of the endless islands podcast where we share the real raw and authentic experiences of nurses across our great nation and beyond. Bri is a board certified nurse coach. She supports nurses in a one on one or group setting while using coaching strategies and mindfulness practices to help them unlearn self sacrifice, and create realistic self care and build relationships that give back to them. Six years as a registered nurse, Bri has spent the bulk of her career working in the psychiatric critical care and medical surgical specialties. Bri is dedicated to the holistic health of those she serves so that they can harmonize their professional life in alignment with their personal life. I feel like I'm reading about myself. There's so much alignment in what we what we do. And I'm so excited to have you here on the show to share with us. Welcome.
Unknown:Thank you. Thank you for that warm welcome and that wonderful introduction. And I'm excited to mirror and have a conversation with each other. Yes, totally.
Sandra Payne:So let's just kick it off with you sharing your nursing in real life moment.
Unknown:Yeah, so I'm sure we will dive into this as our conversation unfolds. But what first comes to mind for me is in 2019, folding laundry post night shift, and having the realization after I had spent four years bouncing around different specialties, and blaming the system in a way of feeling unfulfilled and feeling disconnected with myself. And also personally feeling that same themes and those same trends coming up. And having this moment again, you know, half asleep, still post night shift folding laundry that I had created my entire life around serving others giving to others. And there was nowhere in my life that I was in the space of receiving in the space of asking for help. I was always giving to really avoid myself.
Sandra Payne:Yeah, yeah, thank you so much. So many, so many pieces highlighted there. For me, and I'm sure like, just about every listener out there. You know, it's kind of, it's bred into us, as as females. And then as nurses, you know, this serving giving role. But it becomes all encompassing, really. And there's so many so many elements to that so many that, you know, definitely I've talked about on the show before, but it's it's all like, I think woven in to like the shame based culture that we live in, in that it's just never enough, right? We always feel like there's a next bar that we have to meet, we have to, you know, another expectation that we have to fulfill and that constant striving and grasping and almost desperation to feel like we are doing enough that we are enough. And it's impossible, like it's it, the bar just keeps going up it never, it never feels fulfilled until we until we realize it right. So that moment, you know, you're folding laundry, and there's like this being like, actually. So thank you. Yeah. So tell us a little bit more about who you are. I know I introduced you. But tell us a little bit more about yourself and your story as a nurse.
Unknown:Of course, of course. And if it's okay, I just want to touch on because I think it's really important what you mentioned in like this never doing enough and never being enough. I think that's ingrained for us probably before Well, this state of giving to others is probably starts before we know we're going to get into the nursing field we just naturally are in this giving and serving role in other areas of our life. And then when we get into the nursing field, I mean how much of our shift is like checking boxes and completing the tasks. And then in depending on where you're working most places if it's a hospital, it's a 24 hour job right? So then sometimes you get that backlash as you're giving report of why wasn't this done. And if you if you're a nurse, you of course have have a heart and a desire to care for others and I believe that you gave your heart sweat, blood tears, all of it in your shift and then to be hit with a why wasn't this done? It's just this constant feeling of I'm never doing enough. So I Just wanted to that was just coming to mind as you were talking and the parallels there. I just wanted to touch on. Totally. Yeah, thank you, of course. So in regards to my story, I've been a nurse for almost seven years now. It'll be seven years in summer. And I hit burnout within six months of my career. And from that point on, I really spent four, almost five years just bouncing around specialty to specialty, really feeling like I wasn't impacting the way that I thought I would the way that was talked about in nursing school, I'm really just treating the symptoms pushing people through the system, and I'll see you on next admission. And at 22 years old, I was like, I can't do this the rest of my life, like there's gotta be something more here. But in the midst of that, I was really losing myself. As nurses, of course, we work wonky hours, we work long hours, we work off shift hours. And I kept finding myself in this extreme black and white, like I was either all in and holistically, you know, full circle, taking care of myself on my days off, or I was all out. And when I was working, I was working my, my 1214 hour shift for being real. And then I was, I was just numb, I was, you know, laying on the couch, Netflix binge bottle, a wine spoon in the peanut butter jar, like I just had nothing left to give to myself, I we spend our whole shifts giving to other people. And I couldn't find this balance of like, how do I blend, showing up as a nurse for my patients, and then also being able to show up for myself when I come home. So when I had that moment that I shared in the beginning of having this realization that my I was in this black and white, and I was also in the state of giving and every relationship in my life, I really just began getting curious. And at that point, I was still working in the ICU working night shift. And I didn't know what what was to come down the line, right? We don't necessarily know the future. And I said, Well, if I'm going to be in the ICU working night shift, right now I need to start to create some realistic self care, like what does it look like for me to start to blend the both and find some some gray area. So we can maybe talk more about that afterwards. But I started just pulling some of those things into my life into balancing personally and professionally. And then in the midst of like a form of numbing out, right, just the Facebook scroll and, and being on our phones, I came across this role of nurse coaching. And that really opened up my whole world and the work I do today. Because I found this tribe of nurses who felt the same, they felt unaligned with the traditional model. They felt like they got into the field. And then this is completely different than what we were told. So that began my nurse coaching journey and my board certification and leading to opening up my private practice in June 2020. So kind of the peak of of everything going on worldly.
Sandra Payne:Yeah, I'm sorry, I just lost my sound there for a second. But we can edit that out. I think it was fine. But I'm backing off just got all kind of pulled away. My mic. I'm worried about it, because the T spilt on it. And I'm like, I hope it does anyways. Yeah, but it seems good right now. So I'm actually, you know, when you're talking about I'll just like kind of rewind through what you just said, as best I can. But, you know, you're talking about like the jumping around from specialty to specialty because I did the same thing. And I I hit burnout, you know, not quite as quick as you but 15 years ago, you know, within the first couple of years, I was definitely feeling what I now can relate back to is like a real moral distress with some of the work I was doing in the in the neonatal ICU and emotional overwhelm like just unable to, to separate what was happening and what I was experiencing and witnessing and really, you know, being being a very deep Empath, which I think a good majority of us as nurses are not knowing how to be with people in those really, really difficult painful moments and not take that on and then bring it home and spent many, many off shift hours in the same kind of position you're talking about like on the couch You know, with the wine, you know, actually, you know, partying like, was not appropriate at that, you know, at that time it just looking back, it's, I could see where why I was doing it, it was just in a in a way to turn, you know, just to hide from it because it's like, I didn't know what to do with it all. And they talk about this, you know, like, you jump around from job to job kind of looking for, like, it's gotta be better somewhere else. Like, it's, you know, it's the workplace, it's this role, it's, and it's like, it would be better, when I would leave, it would be better for a time for a time and then everything would start, it would come back because I had never dealt with all of the really, you know, as when I can reflect on it is like traumatic experience, like vicarious trauma, or secondary trauma, really just being in those experiences with people. And I don't think any nurse is really immune to that. Maybe if you're doing like, nursing informatics, and you're not doing patient, any kind of patient care, maybe, but, but I don't even want to say that because who knows what they're, you know, exposed to or reading about experiences, it impacts us as human beings, and it impacts our heart. And when we're not given the tools or taught the tools or the resources in order to how to how to process and heal and move through those experiences, it really can create a lot of discomfort and yeah, so I mean, I could go on and on and just about, like how we how we internalize that and how it shows up for us, because it's different for all of us. But I think it shows up very similar also for for us, and then we leave and go find a new job hoping that it's gonna be better. And then we find that, you know, the problems are following us. And we just will blame the system, blame the system, blame the employer, and it's like, there's a common denominator there. If you really start looking Yeah, and but it's hard to say that and it's hard to see that so but once you do, once you realize, like, Wait, like I actually this, you know, you could see it as like a shame thing and be like, Oh, it's my fault. Like, you know, I'm the common denominator, I'm not doing enough or you could see it in a different perspective, which is what I try to teach to is just like an empowered place is actually it's a good thing, because that means you have some some control in this situation, you don't have to, like surrender to this being a nurse you have, you're in a position of taking back some some control in your life. So yeah, I just all all of the things, everything you shared, it's just it's very familiar, for sure. Share with us, you know, like what, as you were going through that and realizing, you know, your burnout, realizing where you're at, recognizing that you needed to find some kind of balance, which is like, you know, kind of, I don't even like that word because it feels so like, impossible, sometimes, I actually was introduced to the word harmony, which for me feels a lot more it feels a lot more doable. It's like there may be chaos in different areas of life that's not all balanced, but they're all like my intent is just to have them all work together and have this harmony but you know, when you are recognizing it and saying how can I find some you know, some self care or some you know, some of those practices what was what what showed up for you like what was your next step? Like how did you start to move through those things
Unknown:Yeah, so I really appreciate you you bringing to the conversation this this aspect of not blaming the system because like we're we're in our profession is so emotionally heavy, right? Like we're in the the depths in the heaviness with so many of our, our patients and those we interact with. And if we're you know what I heard in a new saying that and brought to my awareness and my own story is like I never mind working through what I felt on my shift and those emotions like I wasn't doing that in my own life like I was scared to personally face any emotions, in relationships in relationship with myself. A lot of those avoiding of emotions were showing up completely removed from from my nursing role, right? They were just showing up personally, I didn't want to feel the things I didn't want to let myself go there because like you said, I didn't know what to do with it. Right? Like I if I allow myself to go here and feel this, well then what or is it never going to stop? And the the nursing role really just highlighted that for me and looking back we can always see like, wow, that was really a gift because if it didn't get that intense, I probably never would have went down that path. But really I I'm exploring, like, how do I move through my own emotions in my own experiences in my personal relationship, so that I have that harmony, when all the other things are going on, personally or in the chaos of my shift, that I can still feel that I am grounded and I am at peace? Or if not, I feel safe enough that I can work through whatever is there. And trust myself that I feel safe enough to do that. And now I kind of forget what your original question.
Sandra Payne:That's okay. I feel like actually, the safety pieces is, you know, you mentioned it, and it's, it's, it's critical. It is, you know, there. I mean, I don't want to, but I will I often give like a blanket statement of like, as women, we are not, for the most part, we are not taught how to deal with emotions, we're taught that they're wrong, we're taught that they're a weakness. And so we hide from them, we feel ashamed if we have them. We're, you know, we live with this idea that we're supposed to be happy all the time, that that's like, that's normal. If you're not happy all the time. There's something wrong with you. And so it is kind of like a generalised statement, but I think for the vast majority, we've received the same kind of training with regards to our emotions. And then so you're, you're absolutely right, it's like, it's not just nursing, it's never just nursing. It's never it affects it affects our life, like we can't, I'm sure there are nurses who can turn it off and go home and completely leave work at work. But for the most, for the majority, I would probably make a wager to say, there isn't that real capacity to turn it off completely and not have it impact us, it's not impossible there is there is like, you know, the more mindful you become, the more you begin to dig into these. You know, different healing practices and self awareness practices, you can you can, you can move through that, but you have to make space for it. It's not like just because you know how it just is in an instant, you can let it go and you can move on it, you still have to make space for the stuff that's happening, and which is a big downfall of our system is that we aren't given the time or the space to move through anything. So it's like, Yes, I believe we should take our, you know, our role in this and be empowered and say I have I have a percent here that I can do something about this. But we also can't dismiss the fact that our system is it's set us it's set us up for this, for this kind of crisis that we're in right now. And we are we are in a crisis. We've been in a crisis for a long time. Now. I think more and more people are realizing it. And it's being talked about that this is you know, we're in a mental health crisis. And the more we openly discuss these, the realities, I think, then it just creates more of a an opportunity for people to share their own struggle and get the help and the guidance that they need. So I think my original question back to that was just like, what was the most helpful for you, like, as you started to dig through, and face your emotions and face the, you know, self care practices that were maybe lacking in your in your own personal life and nursing life? What was the most helpful
Unknown:for you? Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for reminding me on that question. So what was really the the foundation for me is this aspect of understanding where I learned these things, and beginning to unlearn them. So what I, what what was the again, what was the foundation for me, it was understanding the first two relationships we have in our lives with our parents, mom and dad. And this is not to blame or shame either of them. I truly believe that everybody does the best they can with the tools they have. But we're sponges when we're kids, right? And we're just absorbing and learning based off of what we see what we feel what we experience. And just just hang with me here as I go into this explanation. But with mom, we we grow in mom's womb, right? We are physically connected to her. And as an extension of self that is where we learn and where we understand how to take care of ourselves from my beliefs in my experience, so really beginning to untangle, like, what did I learn and what did I take on as my own as I watched mom take care of herself. Did Mom show up for herself? And the reality was, I grew up with a single mom who did it all. And she was always on the bottom of the priority list. And I was is the oldest sibling so that put me in a role of again caretaking and kind of holding holding the fort together. And when tough emotions or scenarios and circumstances will come up, those things weren't talked about. So that learning for me there was, we don't, we don't talk about the hard things, we don't dive into the emotions. So I didn't learn any of the tools to begin to unpack that for myself. And for so much of my life, I thought that was me, I had no concept of like, that was something I learned. And that is something I can unlearn. And then just to touch on the relationship with dad, you know, that is our first connection with the outside world. Or maybe, in my case, that wasn't a consistent connection. So I didn't have the foundation of feeling like I could trust others feeling like I could be vulnerable with others. And those, those two relationships really set the foundation for how I took care of myself or didn't, and how I showed up in relationship with other people. And as you can kind of begin to imagine, there was a lot of limiting beliefs and a lot of behaviors that were built from that. But that was my, that was my foundation and beginning to unpack that, like what beliefs are running my life. Where did I learn those? And how can I begin to unlearn those if I am creating something new, because it is it comes back to that ability to make a choice, that personal responsibility that taking our power back? And from that point, that that really started my journey?
Sandra Payne:Yeah, I just talking, I'm thinking of my own parents, of course, and like, you know, I've gone through so much of this, the same kind of work. And it does, it's, it's not easy to look at those aspects of us. But it's, it is essential, because it is our foundation, it's it's, you know, no matter even, because I believe in that, you know, for a long time, I made this sort of like comparison. And I would say like, you know, I had a good childhood, I had two parents, like they provided everything for me, you know, they loved me, they they gave me everything that they could like, Why do I feel this way? Like, you know, it's not like I had a bad upbringing. But the more I dug into it, it was like, again, yeah, it's not a shaming and blaming thing I agree with you, I think we all do the best that we can with what we know and what the tools that we have at the time. But when I dug in, it was like, you know, I could see the patterns that I was emulating in my own life, but then taking that hard look at it, and being honest with myself, and like, this is not working for me, like I'm living this old pattern that I have just taken because I was taught and influenced in this way. And I became and I rooted down this core belief about like, This is who I am, this is how I'm supposed to show up in the world. But it's not working, because I'm suffering. And I think there's also this realization that comes when you do this work is that suffering is not normal. Like it's not, it's not something that we have to experience. The suffering is a part of the unlearning because you I think you have to go through suffering in order to see how things are not working for you, and not in alignment with your life. But you know, once you can see that, that you can realize that like I don't, I don't have to suffer, I can change, I can choose differently. And the choosing differently, not that that is easy. None of this is easy. It's all like very simple when you lay it out. But when you actually get into it, it's it's deep, and it's difficult, and it's heavy, and it's emotional. And it's scary at times, and sometimes it does feel like it's never going to end you know, like when you were saying when you were first thinking about it, it's like, you know, if I feel this, is it ever going to end there there is that worry and concern for people because sometimes it does feel like that. But I would say you know, as I say to my clients often is like, I'm not sure it ends. So I don't think that there's like a pin that we like we get here and all of a sudden we don't have any more heavy difficult experiences to dig through and emotions. I don't think that's reality. But what happens is it gets it gets easier because you become more resource you become more whole and connected to yourself and what with what's right and you become more like comfortable with making difficult decisions and letting go of those old patterns. So even though the layers keep showing up, it becomes so much easier to dig through them. Has that been your experience too?
Unknown:Oh my gosh. Yes. I remember. I remember going through my first real deep foundational this type of work coaching program on my own right for my own healing. And I remember getting through the three months and being like check I'm killed, I'm good, like the end, you know, and like, How naive and I think about that version of me. And it's, it's that that part of me that strives for perfect in completion, right, that checking of the box, and being like, Okay, I did this thing, and I can say I crossed that finish line. But you're right, there is really no pin, there's no finish line, because we're still living in this human experience, life is still happening. And we're still in relationship with life with others with being triggered by others. And, you know, that's always evolving. And we're, we're not the same every day, our needs, and our wants are changing. And it's really, like you said, it gets easier to step into these uncomfortable in these unknowns. Because I believe along the way, we're deepening that trust within ourselves, like, no matter what is on the other side, like, I know, I got me, I'll figure it out. I've always figured it out. And that, that building of trust and confidence within ourselves. I think that's what makes it that bit easier as we step into continuing the uncomfortable.
Sandra Payne:Yeah, totally. It just it we grow, right. And, you know, I'll talk about this with, with my clients all the time, because it's like, if, if the, if the right road was easy, we'd all be taking it, but it's not. And it's not easy for a reason. Because you have to face these challenges. You have to face these parts of yourself to grow, to learn to become more whole and more, just more connected to yourself and your purpose. And like the you know, just the reasons why you're here, your gifts, like what you're offering is to the world. And you have to go through this stuff in order to, to discover it, like rediscover it, because we're all born and we know, but then we forget because and but I look at my kids all the time. And I'm like, you know, my youngest is four, and he's still he still knows, he still knows I can still see it. There's magic. And I'm like, Oh, I hope you never like I've got two other ones that I'm like, well, they kind of lost it. But whenever we got to work, we got to work our way back with them. But at the same time, I'm like the little one. But I think life it just you know, they go to school, and they just experience all these different things and people's opinions. And it's, I mean, it's hard. It's hard, but I you know, there is this moment, and I hope I hope people reach that moment where they're like, realizing that there's there's gotta be something more for me that I'm you know, this suffering is not how I have to surrender to spending the rest of my, my life in this way that there is something there is a way and I think that Crossroads is so important because then you then you have a choice, you can say like, Okay, I'm gonna take the hard road here, and I'm gonna go through the challenges and thankfully, there are people who have, you know, taken the road already and can say like, Hey, you know, like you and I who are saying, like, just, I'll link arms with you, like, I don't know, at all, I don't have all the answers, but I've, you know, I've gone my own journey thus far. And I'm still here and things are a lot freakin better. So like, just, you know, come with me, and I'll guide you along the way. And I think, you know, you alluded to the aspect of like perfectionism and how we have this desire to have all the tiki boxes checked and, and this, this particular Tikki box is really I don't know if you can ever check it because it's like a continual checking, like you check it and then the next day, something else happens. And I know I'm often saying to my coach, like, that I work with personally and I'm like, Can you just be a day where like, I don't have to heal something. Or I don't have to face something and like, she's like, sure you can have a day but you'd probably be you know, watching Netflix eating like ignoring your life. Okay, fair, fair enough. But there definitely are easier days but if you you know, let's we could probably go into this like way deep because it sounds like we have very similar you know, just similar experiences in our own dealings with with the staff right like with the with the mockery is what I call it and, and, you know, we could probably share every detail of what we've gone through, which I'm sure you do in your own in your own practice, as well as as I you know, I try to share as much as possible because it does create that sense of hope and also a you know, like we were talking about before we hit record of just like ending the isolation right? Because so many so many nurses and so many women, you know, I'll put that in there too, is like feeling the same way but feeling like you're the only One. And so I do kind of want to shift gears because there's something I do want to talk about with you, which is the nurse coach aspect. So I myself am not a nurse coach, I'm a, I'm a certified holistic wellness coach. So I took a different route with my training and coaching. And I have my reasons for that. Primarily being that I wanted to kind of step away from the box that nursing puts us in, and I never fit in the box, every role I had, I was always looking to create change, I was always, you know, squeaking the wheels, and like just trying to, you know, get things to be better often, you know, being that with a ton of resistance, and not a lot of success and creating change. But nonetheless, when I chose to go into coaching, I chose wellness coaching and holistic wellness coaching, because I really wanted to look at people from this, you know, this perspective that we're taught in nursing, which is a holistic approach. And, you know, connecting the pieces and digging deep with people and getting to some of these root root beliefs and these root woundings that have happened, and that really create our life. And and to step outside of like the box. And so I didn't actually come become introduced to the idea of nurse coaching until I was already a coach. And so in I would love to hear like, you know, what, what landed you in the decision to to be a nurse coach, and maybe your interpretation of how that might be different and how nurses who, you know, no matter which if they choose coaching, like no matter which road that they choose? I think they're, they both have value for sure. But I'm just curious, because I don't really know, how is it different? Maybe if you No,
Unknown:absolutely. Let's see, I'll try to put this into words. I really appreciate you being willing to step outside of the box. Because that's like, that's how I felt to so much of when I was at bedside, like I just I feel like they're, we're putting our patients in this box. And I think there's so much more opportunity for them to heal and recover on a deeper level that we don't even have the space or the time to do. So I think I mentioned real quick, at the start of our conversation, I found nurse coaching like through Facebook scrolling, it was just on an ad, in particular the the transformative nurse coach collective as the program I went through, and honestly that That saves me from leaving the nursing profession as a whole. Because as you know, and as any nurse listening knows, you work damn hard in nursing school, you work damn hard to pass those boards. And I felt like if I, I wanted to turn my back on the system as a whole, but I felt like I worked so hard to get the letters after my name, like I don't want to throw it away, I want to still be able to utilize it in some way. So when I discovered this nurse coaching role, that's a board certification through the American Holistic Nurses Association, you know, there's plenty of theory and, you know, deep coaching and holistic perspectives, I'm sure very much aligned with what you learned in your coaching certification. But it is designed taught in a board certification specifically for nurses. So it just, it felt so aligned. And it felt like I don't have to say goodbye to the nursing role. And I get to expand my practice in healing people in a deeper way. So a lot of the coaching principles, I'm sure are very similar, but a lot of them are again, they're based on theorists that are in the nursing world, right? I am not even going to try to name theorists names because things like that don't stick in my brain. Like you know that though those principles are built from from nurses who have that same same perspective as you. In what that experience is, is I went through the six month program and you have all this coaching practice and these coaching hours, and it's all this preparation and and bookwork and practicums and presentations to prepare you for sitting for the board exam. Now, essentially, I will say I'm sure you've you've experienced this in a way to have like, people don't necessarily care about all letters after your name, they care if you can help them. But for me personally, again, it came back to I want to expand and deepen my ability to nurse to serve others. And that's that's really what led me to like this is this is the Have for me.
Sandra Payne:I'm curious, like, if holding that nurse coach title, if in your experience or it just in your understanding of it, if it holds you back in any way, because I, I feel like you know, there's there's two parts of it like being board certified being a nurse there is like an element of credibility that comes with just the title, right? Like the letters or whatever there is, there is that element of it. But for me, it was it very much was like the box that those letters put me into and taking myself out of that box meant I had to take myself out of the restrictions and like the the rules and the, you know, the almost micromanaging of what we were doing and how we were able to help people as a nurse, and I didn't, you know, I was like, if I'm gonna go into this, I don't I don't want to have that same looming cloud over me that saying like, Oh, you can't, you can't coach on that you can't say that you can't, you know, so, or you can't work with that type of patient, because you're not XYZ. And, you know, there is some, of course, like, guidelines for wellness coaches as well. But, but really, the coaching world is quite unregulated. And so it kind of leaves things open. And I liked that aspect of it. And so I'm curious if like the the nurse coaching world if it is as sort of like open and I don't want to say unregulated, but it is kind of unregulated, just more open and flexible. And what your experience has been with that? I don't even know if that question made sense, but I hope it did.
Unknown:I think I think I got it. And I would say the short answer to do I feel like the nurse coach, title puts me in a box? Absolutely not. I feel like having that added to my credentials, opened things up for me in such a vast amount of ways because I see other nurse coaches, you know, when I completed my certification back in 2020, there's nurse coaches doing such a variety of things, so many of them are in private practice. And so many of them are actually still in the traditional field. But they're they've created nurse coaching roles to support nurses and leadership to support patients. If you feel like going in that role, too, then maybe they feel like they're in the box. Maybe but I don't know, I didn't, I didn't kind of test that path. I took the path. Kind of like you said, once I discovered the coaching, I was like see a traditional medicine, I'm going to like help people in a deeper way. And that was anyone and whoever came into my world. So yeah, again, short answer. No, I don't feel like it's restricted. Because being in private practice, of course, where you have the freedom to kind of tweak and do what you want. But also, there's such a need to bring this holistic perspective into the traditional model as well. Like they're like, if not to the people outside of the model. But even more so like do the people in the field right now need coaching need deep healing needs support, need to know, ways to take care of themselves and to deeply listening to their patients and their co workers and in all of those things. So yeah. Does that answer the question?
Sandra Payne:Yeah, it really does. And I, I feel like that's a really accurate description of it is like you have the, you know, the choice of working in like an independent practice and exploring the types of work that you want to do the types of clients that you want to work with. And there is this, this added option. And I know that wellness coaches have been used in the same way, like it's just kind of a different title. And, like health coach, like they're just, you know, I think they do different things, I believe, but essentially, they can be used in similar roles. And so like this idea of integrating coaching into our, our current system, I think, is really important. And I've, you know, through through the IW p, which is where I took my training, they you know, they have guest speakers and physicians coming in primarily out of the United States and they will talk about their own practices and how they've integrated the use of, of coaches. And so whether it's a health coach, a wellness coach or a nurse coach, they're, they're integrating the use of coaching because it allows them to really help their patients in a much deeper way in a way that they don't have the time and the space to do right. Like they can give the diagnosis. They can do the prescriptions, they can refer them for their testing and whatever else that they need. But then they're like no, what you really need is to spend time with with this coach because, you know, she can spend the time with you or he can spend the time with you and really dig through and, and create lasting transformational change in their life. So I see a blending of the two as being such an important aspect of our future because our system is not, it's bursting, it's it can't withhold the stress of the sickness, that is the reality. And so we need to be looking at, you know, for our future ways that we can integrate a more holistic approach so that we can actually help people right, instead of just pushing them through, like you were talking about in the beginning of just pushing the patients through the system. And, you know, until we see you again, like it's not really it's not helping people, whereas coaching. Really, you know, I have lost my sound again.
Unknown:Did sorry, but
Sandra Payne:come on, don't don't die now. How annoying. On here now. There we go. Is it good? Yeah. Yeah, you sound good. Yeah, but I feel like coaching is really, it's, it's going to be such an important piece of how we move forward. In healing our system, and the way that we we can show up and heal our patients too. And I, you know, I feel like having if having the nurse title is something that is, which I think for a good majority is something that is important to nurses, because, yeah, you've invested a lot of time and a lot of money and a lot into becoming a nurse. And letting that go is really well I can personally say it's very difficult. And it's, it's not something that you just do in a snap decision, because you've put a lot of a lot of yourself into into this. But I will also say that no matter what you choose whether you choose to let it go, or you choose to go in a different direction, are you staying in nursing like you, I don't, I mean, nursing as a title, but it's also a part of who we are, and, and how we show up in our personal lives. And you know, in our relationships, as well as in the work that we do. It's just this like giving part of us, which is, you know, a blessing and a curse, as we've already talked about. So it's finding that that harmony, for sure. Before Yeah, before we go, I wanted to just give you a chance to share a little bit more about what you what you do as a as a nurse now and as a nurse coach, and how you are supporting, you know, in sounds like very similar ways. Nurses out there. So please, yeah,
Unknown:great, thank you. And this is kind of a beautiful segue, because as you were talking, I am just thinking, like, if if those in traditional medicine need the coaching and need the support the most right now, who better to show up in provide that for them than nurses who get it right, and nurses who can meet you and say, Hey, I understand all the stressors and all the burnout and all of it right, I understand it, i i see you I've been in your shoes. And let's let's work together and CO create this. Because as I alluded to, in the beginning, when I first opened my practice in 2020, I was like, for lack of a better word, like screw the system, I'm gonna go do my own thing. Anybody who wants to heal on a deep level and like really recreate their life, my doors are open. And this past year, or the the end of 2021 is really where I, I was forced into some space and some stillness to really reevaluate. Why did I turn my back on the system so much. And what that really meant is, is I turned my back on on nurses in a way. And it's not the nurses fault that the system is the way it is, if anything, it's been us nurses who have been holding the system up on our backs. So that really began the creation of what I'm doing now in creating spaces for nurses to be on the receiving end of some healing and some support. And in ways that I'm doing that now is working with nurses one on one in doing some some deep coaching work. And it's actually really exciting because we're starting to see organizations reimburse for my coaching services. So just like for any tuition reimbursement you would get from your organization. Organizations are now looking at coaching. The same way hey, if we can reimburse our nurse managers and our nurse leaders to get support so that they can better show up to take care of their staff and ultimately, their patients and you know, every life they touch on the system, we're willing to put our dollar down and invest in our nurses in that way. So that's, that's been a real light for me to see organization step up in that way and see, like, okay, these shifts are happening, we're looking for better. And so that's, that's kind of like my, my one on one deeper coaching containers. And then I also have a community space, where you get to just show up, if you're a nurse, you're, you're invited. And you get to just be in a space of, again, healing and receiving support. So you don't have to have any experience or any prep, you get to just show up, I guide you through a little bit of breathwork, some mindfulness, and you get to just connect with like minded nurses, and their nurses. So they get it right we we have that community feel we can have those conversations, and it's a safe space for you to just reflect and have some vulnerable conversations. I think a lot of or I know, from what I see, a lot of the support that nurses are handed out is like more information, more modules, more learning, and we're professional, we're educated, we're adults, I don't necessarily think that we need all this more, I think we just need a space to show up and say, This is my space. For me, if it's the only hour a week I do it, I know that it's it's my space to just show up and be and we don't need to do more. So that's, that's my work right now. And it is it has really gotten me fall in gotten me to fall back in love with nursing and really feel like the shifts are happening. And, and I'm really grateful to be a part of them.
Sandra Payne:That's so it is inspiring to hear, you know, to hear organizations recognizing the value of investing in their staff. And, you know, I've had nurses here in Canada who have also been reimbursed, but also ones who have been declined and who have been told that will only support professional development. And, you know, My head spins, because I'm like, How is this not affecting her professional development, right? If she's, you know, looking at herself and helping to create a healthy, more whole, balanced life for herself, how does that, how does that not translate into a better well equipped, more resourced, more, you know, present professional, and it does, like it absolutely connects, you know, the difficulties of the jobs trickle into our personal life. So if we are working on our personal, it's going to trickle in, I think that's just really a backward understanding of that is in our system. And it is inspiring to hear of, you know, cases like that, where you can see the shift starting to happen, and then realizing that we are the backbone of this system. And if you don't invest in us, and you don't support us, we're either going to leave or the backbone is falling apart, and you'll have nothing to rest your system on, you will have no one to work for you, because they'll either be gone, or sick. And that, that doesn't help anybody. So, you know, I, the system, for sure needs to wake up and see that this is so critically important. And we need to invest in these kinds of support services that are available, like what you and I are doing and there's others is it's it's so aligned, because, I mean, there's research, you know, nurses, they like the research, like not, not most nurses, but like management, like, like the research number. Yeah. And it's proven that peer support is extremely effective. And we do need the safe containers, because the reality is, is that our workplaces, for the most part, do not feel safe. And it does not feel safe in our culture of nursing to talk about the struggles and to be vulnerable about, you know, the different experiences that we're having on a personal and professional level. And so creating these these safe containers is really is really important in order for us to to be able to drop the guard and all the masks and everything that we were in order to do this role. And just to be Oh, like, I mean, I want to sit back to saying it like just to just to ease into ourselves and to be vulnerable and share and be supported, supported without judgment without criticism without like, you know, oh, there's risk of this or like you're, you know, with all this fear elements that come with, with nursing, so, I, you know, I do a similar similar kind of thing in a group work and I think, you know, I went through it in my own personal journey working with a group and I was like, This is essential, every, every one of us needs to have a tribe that we feel safe in that we can share. And where you can just show up where there isn't an expectation. There is like also this element of, you know, mindfulness and breath, work and spiritual elements that are not taught to us, right. So unless you go looking for that information, or that kind of guidance, you're not going to find it in most of our traditional systems that we have right now, right, or modern systems, I should say. So, you know, to mix the two, and to bring these pieces out, you know, even energy work, right. Like, it's not something that's taught or even discussed, or considered when we're dealing with healing our patients. But to bring that into this environment, as well as having the safe container for them to learn from each other, and then to support and share. It's really, I always say it's magic. It's there's not a lot of other words that could really accurately describe what happens, it is magic to watch, to watch the dynamics between people to watch them drop that guard and lean into vulnerability, and then to watch their shift. It's, it's powerful and beautiful to witness and to be a part of, and I, I know, I'm probably speaking for you too, in saying that, like, there's a deep gratitude and doing this work, and a deep honor to be able to show up for our colleagues in this way. Particular particularly right now where it's so important, and we, you know, the need is so great. So much. I
Unknown:mean, you've given me the goosebumps just hearing so much of myself. And that's what it is. It's magic. And isn't it interesting that those things aren't shared with us in the modern world? Right. And I mean, that's a whole conversation for another time, why we don't have access to those tools or that knowledge. But yeah, magic is a good word for it.
Sandra Payne:So how can people find you if they are curious about your community?
Unknown:Sure, yeah. So they can connect with me on Instagram, Nurse coach, Bri, and if they are interested in joining the community, you can come as a guest, just check it out, have an experience. No, no expectations other than just showing up for yourself. There is a link in my bio that they can click and they can pick a date that works for them. And I would love to have them as a guest and have them experience our community.
Sandra Payne:Wonderful. Yeah. Thank you so much for being here and for sharing your story and your journey as a coach and thank you so much for the work that you're doing to to help support those in the system. And as a part of building the new is what I think is also happening in parallel to what we're doing. So yeah, thank you so much. Of course. Thank
Unknown:you. Thank you for creating this space.
