Ep21 Knowing Your Own Value and Practice Self Appreciation

In this heartfelt episode of the Better Relationships podcast, Dr. Dar Hawks, known as the relationship healer, takes listeners beyond the surface of thankfulness, diving deep into the power of appreciation. 

Following a personal story of unexpected career change, Dr. Dar imparts wisdom on how to transform our perspective and elevate our lives by valuing and appreciating everything around us. 

Discover the secret to converting gratitude into a higher frequency of appreciation and learn how to harness this energy to attract more positivity into your life.

Transcript

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You know, we all know yesterday was thanksgiving. Many of us are, really having a hard time. Many of us are laid off, me, present company included. Some of us are wondering how we're going to make ends meet. Some of us believe we're just going to be fine and it's all going to work out. Many of us have. All actually, I would assert that every one of us has landed on our feet, regardless of what life throws at us, because life happens, and it's not always feel good, but we can choose to feel good about whatever it is that's happening, right? So I could be angry, I could be mad, I could be negative. I could think negatively about being laid off. And the way it happened, it was a very dishonouring way. The way it happened, it was sudden, it was unexpected. It was a surprise. It was a little bit of a shock. but I didn't allow myself to feel bad because it's not about me. one of the things that I've learned is if you don't get any feedback, any information, when things go sour, then you have nothing to go on. You have nothing to improve upon. There's nothing that you can beat yourself up about. So as you're going through things, we make up all kinds of things in the brain because we love an analyzing. We love, that critical thinking. But at the end of the day, you don't have any facts about it. So how do we shift out of that mindset and that left brained conditioning that we all have? We all, unfortunately or fortunately, have it and release and allow our bodies, to honor us and to respect us. And one way to do that is through this notion of thankfulness on steroids. So I'm going to actually share with you and read to you read posts that I shared in my email list. If you're not on my list, please go and take the quiz, the feelgoodsuperpowerquiz@drdar.com and click the button. you'll go to another page and click that button, and then you'll go to the, quiz page. Or you can go to superpowerquiz me and go straight to the quiz page. And for those of you who don't know me, I'm Dr. Dar. I am the feel good alchemist. And I'm all about feeling good with yourself, your life, your work, and your relationships. And that is my mission for every woman on this planet to feel good. And when you don't, I am here to support you. I am also here to support you in maintaining your feel good vibe every day. So yesterday was Thanksgiving. We all know that. And as I was contemplating this notion of, giving thanks and expressing thanks and feeling thanks, I realized that thankfulness is very much a habit. It's just a thing that we have to do. Right. Thank you. You're welcome. it's kind of dismissive, and it didn't feel very honoring or respectful of myself and others. Yes, it's a good thing. Yes, it feels good to receive it, but it's not sustainable. And here's what I've learned about it. Giving thanks. somehow we've been disconnected from the value, from value and appreciation and thankfulness and gratitude is really about placing value on something, whether it's high or low or somewhere in between. And it's also about appreciating something or someone, including yourself. So I just wanted to say that I have a special message for you this Thanksgiving weekend. Are you ready? You see, I don't think you or I hear that you are an amazing, incredible, brilliant person. Enough. I want you to know that you are brilliant, amazing, incredible. I want you to know that every thought, feeling, action, and emotion that you have is incredible. I know that you are doing and being your best. Even when you don't think or feel as though you are, you are, bringing your best in any given moment. So that brings me to appreciation. Did you know that appreciation is a higher vibration and frequency than gratitude or thankfulness? appreciation is a form of mindfulness that allows you to shed all of your filters, all of your biases, and peel back anything that's in the way of you truly just observing and valuing someone or something, including yourself. When you look in that mirror, I want you to appreciate, however. Yeah. When you start appreciating, in order to start appreciating, we do. We express thankfulness, and we start having an attitude of gratitude. And we have gratitude journals. But I've noticed with my clients over the last two decades, feeling grateful or thankful is. Feeling thankful starts with the small things. And for them to stretch into gratitude has been really difficult for them. But when I talk about the language of appreciation, they make quantum leaps. Like, they just feel it, sense it, because appreciation is about value, and they can relate to value. So when you look at something or someone and appreciate it, that's really about your value and the value that you are placing on that item or that person. So you see, valuing something equates to appreciating it. And when you value something or someone, you appreciate it. And then when you appreciate it, it appreciates, the value goes up. And when the value goes up, your feel good vibe goes up, it expands, it radiates outward, and we all need more feel good in our lives, our work, our relationships, and on this planet. When you appreciate it, it appreciates and it increases in value. So in other words, when you appreciate the value of people and things in your life, including your money, it appreciates, it builds in value. And then after some time of being in this, lovely, warm pool of a loving appreciation of everything, more miraculously comes your way. I don't know how. I really don't. It doesn't matter how we've been trained that we have to work so hard in order to receive, and that's just not true. We just have to appreciate. So my invitation to you is for you to play with appreciation today and tomorrow and every day going forward. I invite you to feel the feels of appreciating something or someone highly valuating it. This goes with the food that you're preparing, the food that you're eating, the water that you drink, the bed that you sleep in, the chair that you sit in, observing the surroundings around you. And right now, I think, definitely your money and your well being and your health and yourself. These are incredible times. Sorry, I've got to blow my nose. These are incredible times. And we are really being called to change our own energy so that we can attract that which we desire and deserve, divinely deserve, as women to us. And we get to choose what we plug ourselves into. So my invitation is for you to shift your eyes in your mindset to appreciate. When you see a penny on the ground, maybe it's the only penny you have. Look at it. Appreciate it. Maybe clean it. Notice it. Notice the beauty of it. Notice the shine on it. Notice the woman on it or the man on it. as you're paying your bills, appreciate it. There's so many of us just talk about, oh, I hate paying bills. I invite you to appreciate sending that money out because you're assisting the economy and you received something of value when you're paying that bill. Maybe it's your Netflix bill. Maybe it's your electric bill. I've got this beautiful, radiant light around me right now. I want you to shift to this appreciative energy. It's going to take some practice, but I know you can do it. Also, as you're doing this, most importantly, appreciate yourself and value yourself highly. No one and no thing can be higher in value than yourself. No one or nothing can be higher in value than yourself. Certainly you can put yourself on equal footing, and you can certainly put yourself higher. But never lower. Never lower. When you get up in the morning and you get in front of that mirror, appreciate. Find something to appreciate about yourself. This morning I trimmed my hair. I wanted it to be shorter, and I was just noticing how curly, how unique my hair is. I was noticing the grays coming in and just loving how the light hits it. Find something to appreciate. And when you find yourself criticizing, it's not really your criticism of yourself. It's what you've been taught to do. And so as you practice appreciating yourself and all of it around you, things shift. They really do. They start shifting and your life starts working for you instead of against you. So here's my appreciation of and for you. For you. I appreciate all of you. Every little bit of you and every big bit of you. Your quirks, your uniqueness, your history, your past, your present, and all of who you are. I appreciate you being here now, and I appreciate our connection. I appreciate your life, your heart, your body, your mind and your soul. I appreciate all the blessings that are on the way to you and your loved ones. I appreciate everyone who has been kind to you in your life, past, present, and those who are going to be as you go forward into your future. I appreciate all of those who have appreciated you and truly loved you and continue to do so. I appreciate you honoring yourself. I appreciate you respecting yourself. I also appreciate all who have wronged you, hurt you, criticized you in any way so that you could learn what feels good and does not feel good. So that you could make feel good choices by honoring yourself and respecting yourself and making feel good choices going forward. And I appreciate the power that you have to choose to choose what feels good. I appreciate you on this day after thanksgiving and beyond. And may you have fun. Feel free, be empowered, thrive, and be loved today by yourself and those around you, today and all days.