Ep19 What to Do If Your Woman is Furiously Angry

Join Dr. Dar Hawks on a transformative exploration of anger on the Better Relationships podcast, where we unravel the layers of an angry woman's heart.

Understand how past traumas and ignored boundaries lay the foundation for a fiery eruption and how to approach these intense emotional landscapes with honor and respect. 

Dr. Hawks offers a path to peace, inviting women to reflect, release, and rise from the ashes of their anger with dignity and strength.

Transcript

0:22

Today we're talking about understanding the fury of an angry woman and how that anger emanates so fiercely. When a woman gets angry, it's not an all of a sudden thing. You see, it started a long time ago with one tiny moment in time when she was dishonored, disrespected, belittled, criticized, traumatized, unheard, dismissed, or even abused. That moment seeded in her emotional and mental and spiritual body. It seeded. It got planted and dismissed. Then the next time she was dishonored, the seed got a smidge larger, and the next time a little bigger, and the next time after that, a little larger, and again and again, some of it unconscious, some of it not understood through an emotional upset or a wave not being able to make sense or connect to that past experience. And the seed just grows and grows until one day, something else happens and the emotional wave explodes. Anger spews from her mouth and body outwards, like a volcano erupting with hot flames and ash. And asking her, what's wrong or what you did or why she is angry just brings taller flames, and the ash spews harder, louder, faster, and farther. Her blood starts as a warm, cozy bubble, from her feet. Slowly, those bubbles work their way up into her belly, simmering until it gets to a slow boil. Suddenly, that boil spills over, and an explosion ensues. The explosion is directed at whoever is present in that moment. It's not personal. It's hot energy that has to be released. Like that volcano heating up until it explodes. We think it was that latest dishonouring event or relationship that the anger is about, but it's not. It's simpler than that. It's about being dishonored and disrespected. It's about not being and taking a, ah, stand for our values. It's about not honoring our requirements. It's about tolerating unacceptable behaviors. It's about taking in constructive criticism. That's not. It's about sweeping things under the rug over many, many events because we don't want to face it, or we're fearful of the unknown, the uncertainty of taking a solid stand, or we are fearful because someone else has power over us, or we think we have no control. Until the day she has had enough. On that day, she is done. She is done. Done. She walks away, head held high. And the best thing you can do when faced with the fury of an angry woman is to honor her, respect her, understand her, give her time and space. Leave her be after letting her know you care and are giving her some space. And if she is done, walk away after letting her know she can call you once she processes whatever's going on and that you care deeply for her. And if you're the woman with fury and anger, I invite you to do this. Take time for yourself in silence, however long you need. Take it. Be patient with yourself. Allow the wisdom of your body and your higher self to reveal to you what this volcano is about. Connect with the time when your volcano got seeded for the first time, and the second time and the third time. Understand what happened at that time logically and factually. Look at any blame you are placing on anyone, including yourself. Review it more holistically from everyone's perspective, including your own, what it must have been like for them and what it was like for you, and consider for a moment that the other person had multiple volcanoes going on for them as well. Take a stand for what you require now and going forward in your relationships and your environments. Reconnect with your feel good vibe and thank that experience in that past initial moment for the learning and release it as it no longer serves your highest good. Anger is a powerful, incredible emotion. Stored anger is not stored anger just hurts ourselves and it's time. As divine feminine as divine woman, as being the bearers of the masculine feminine balance within ourselves, we are being called to handle that deep seated anger and take a look at it and release it. I am here for you. There's nothing wrong with the fury of an angry woman. It's all in what we do with it that matters and counts, and whether it's of benefit or not.