So many people we know, and love are trapped in a cycle of personal trauma and negative beliefs. Hello, I'm Chester Elton. This is my dear friend and co-author, Adrian Gostick. Well, thanks, Chester. Yeah, today, our guest is going to help us recode our minds and realize our internal power. As always, we hope the time you spend with us will help reduce the stigma of anxiety at work and in your personal life. And with us is our new friend Finian Kelly, the founder of Intentionality, Inc. As a successful entrepreneur and a retired officer in the Australian military, his new book is Intentionality, a groundbreaking guide to breath, consciousness, and radical self-transformation. Dubbed the Business Mystic, what a great title, the Business Mystic, Finian has been featured on National Geographic and has guided tens of thousands of people on breathwork journeys in 23 countries around the world. Finian, we are delighted to have you on the podcast. Thanks for joining. It's a pleasure, Chester and Adrian. Let's get into it. Let's see, with a big promise, I'm gonna recode people's minds and realize their past. I was going to get into it. I love it. Love it. And you can hear, everybody can hear Finian is from Aspen. You can tell from his accent. He's from Aspen, Colorado. Hey, walk us through your personal story, Finian. Let's get a little serious to maybe start. You say hitting rock bottom gave you a new perspective on life. So tell us a little bit about your journey. Yeah, it was actually interesting. It was before the rock bottom that in some regards gave me perspective because I had been living a very intentional life. I had a clarity of a vision I wanted to achieve and effectively I achieved that vision. It resulted in me building and selling a couple of companies, moving over to Colorado, living in a beautiful mansion in Beaver Creek, skiing a hundred days a year, married to a woman I loved, financially independent. And on paper, you would think that was the moment where I was finally, I was like, ah, this is where the peace and love and joy is going to flow in, because that's the story I've been telling myself. Just keep going, keep going, you'll eventually get there. And I got there. And in that period of moment, those desired feelings didn't come through. And in fact, the opposite came through. A series of events happened which all looked like they were random but as you go on this journey a little bit more you realise that we are very powerful creative beings and we can create powerfully but we can also destruct powerfully as well. I went through a big destruction period and I now in hindsight reflect that it was effectively I had to get rock bottom because I wouldn't pay attention to the signs, the signs that were telling me, maybe you need to do something different, maybe you need to explore, take a moment, take a rest. I'd always been from a very young age accelerating. I even had an identity around being the youngest person in everything I did. I was the youngest person to graduate school, youngest army officer, youngest entrepreneur, winning all these top 30 under 30 awards. And the feeling of actually stopping would mean that I had to face myself. And so I just kept on running. But then when I got that period of stopping, it forced an awakening. And what I had a great awareness was there was this one day where I was in a legal suit and it resulted in my wife and I separating. And I was in a period where every day was a challenge. And one day I went, I never want to feel like this again. And that was where the real light bulb came on because I noticed I didn't say I didn't want to think like this again, which I was, I was a very intellectual person. I said, I never want to feel like this again. And in that moment, I said, well, what do I want to feel? And I went, well, I just want to feel a little bit more internal peace. That would be nice. So then I just went, well, what could bring me more peace today? And I wrote down a list of 16 things that I reflected, oh, that brings me more peace. Going for a walk, being in the sun, doing something kind to some people. And I just started going, what's the easiest thing for me to do now? And I started ticking these things off. And doing that for a period of days, weeks, I ended up learning more about myself and realizing what really matters in life are feelings. That's what we've got to prioritize. Outcomes, the reason why we want an outcome is because we hope it gives us a feeling. But the problem is outcomes are future-based where feelings are right now. And that's where the master key of intentionality comes through which is prioritize feelings over outcomes. So this sounds like really, really soft stuff, and I know it's not. Adrian and I deal with this all the time. We talk about leading with gratitude, it's the soft stuff. Feelings, that's the soft stuff. But you've coined one of my favorite words, which is intentionality. You say, look, if you want to change, you have to be very intentional about it. So help us understand intentionality and why that's so important. Because you just can't sit there and feel, right? Like you made a list of 16 things and you got very intentional about it. So walk us through why that's so important, why that's the key. Yeah, so you'll notice in my description before, what did I really do? I defined how I wanted to feel and then I didn't just wait for that to happen. I then went, well, what are the incremental steps I could take towards making that a reality for me? So it's a very, it's not a soft action in that, like it's very practical. And there's certain moments where you have to get into the complete discomfort and doing something which you know will actually bring a little bit of peace. A lot of what I do is helping people move into more integrity. And that's how we create more high performing teams. And this is where I love when people say, stop, because now I'm doing this with sports teams, military teams, like leadership teams who are very, very masculine, but they're realizing it's not working as well. So what we do is we go, and when we define, I want to feel this way, sometimes you have to do something which you do not want to do. Because that's what's actually happening in life is, most of our days are spent avoiding feeling because we're too soft to feel that feeling, that uncomfortable feeling of anger or sadness or aloneness or lack of worth and we avoid it by doing everything else, by going out there and going on a big run or going and making more money. It's actually the avoidance of us feeling the discomfort. So when we do that, we define that process and ultimately with intentionality, what we're trying to do is to get this powerful mind, this super power within us aligned. In my book, I reference the three parts of the mind and really it's one mind, but intellectually sometimes we need to create a little bit of separation because that's how we live through this life. We have the universal mind which could also be called the unified field, which is this field of energy that everything that ever will and ever has will come out of. It's this intelligent source. Then we have the subconscious mind which is our habitual programmed mind which determines most of our daily behaviours and thoughts. And then we have our conscious mind which is that direction of I want this, I want that. Why most people, and I say most people because most people in this life are unsatisfied, unfulfilled, not at peace, is because they have a mind which is not in alignment. There's conflict between the conscious and the subconscious minds. Then there's conflict with the universe mind which is just unlimited, abundant, love and unified intelligence. So what we need to do in intentionality is to bring awareness of what is it that you actually want, which is the hardest question, most people can't answer that, and most people who can answer it, it's not actually what they want, it's coded into them from side impressions and it's just getting sped up, this information, so we need to carry down what they want and then are we making sure that our minds are working in our favor. If we want something, that we have a program which is actually working against us, the subconscious mind is a quantum computer. It's always going to win. So we need to bring that awareness and then we need to do the act to make that happen. That is that bit where you reclaim your power because suddenly you realize, I've been working against myself. I've had anchors on me the whole time. I wonder why I haven't been able to make money or I make money and then I lose money consistently or I get in these volatile relationships or I want to I know intellectually how I want to be healthier and I know there's so much information on how to do it but for some reason I keep making those bad decisions that tells me that perhaps you've got some faulty coding working against you. This is great and it's very practical while you're talking about it and this is so helpful. Now, as I look at the subhead of your book, a groundbreaking guide to breath is the first part. So breathwork, it's not exactly what I expected when I think of a book on intentionality. Help us understand the connection there and how breathwork plays into this idea of intentionality. So breath was a huge part of my journey to uncover what was actually going on with me because we need to understand the nature of the subconscious. The subconscious is a habitual program machine. What it does is it's trying to save us energy because the conscious mind is very slow. It's a very slow old computer and it consumes a lot of energy trying to think and process things. So whenever it sees a program which is habitual, it'll go, oh, they want this. This is familiar. I'm going to create a program so then you never have to think about that. And we know that because there's certain programs which we're very grateful for, like driving, we don't really have to think that much, it just happens automatically. We're not driving with a conscious mind most of the time, because the conscious mind is listening to podcasts, calling people, eating a burger, the subconscious is driving the car. And thankfully, it gets us there and we haven't crashed. That's what a healthy program. But then there might be an unhealthy program where every time you get a little bit tired, you snap at someone or you go to the bags of chips or whatever it is and you're not even aware it's just happening because that's what you've trained it to do. So when the program is running, we're not aware, the conscious mind is looking elsewhere. So what we need to do is to have awareness of what programs are running and what behaviors they're doing, which may be contributing to our less desirable circumstances. So I started reflecting and I always want to, when you mentioned it's a very practical book, I want to make it as easy as possible with life. And if we rely on external things to do this, like even a help of a coach, then that can be challenging because they're not always there with you. Like we need something that's always with you. And I started looking and I started reflecting that we are given everything we need. That's one of the principles, the tenets of my philosophy is that we are given everything we need to create whatever we want. One of them is our breath. When we think about the breath, it represents life. Its first breath represents life and then that last breath transitions life. It's also the thing that we can't live without for the shortest amount of time. It's the most important thing we have in our life. So that was starting to be some light bulbs. Then I started reflecting and I went, well, the breath is really interesting because the breath, we don't have to think about the breath. You're not thinking right now, but the breath is fueling you. Breath, oxygen plus glucose equals energy. So the breath is just happening. We're not thinking. So it's automatically regulated by the autonomic immune system, like it's happening naturally by the subconscious. But the funny thing about the breath is it's the one faculty that's happening by the subconscious, but we can also drive it with our conscious mind. So I suddenly can go, oh, I need some energy and I can start doing some big, bigger breaths, or I need to relax and I need to blow out a slow breath. So that was the cue. It's a bridge between the conscious and the subconscious lines. So when we use the breath, we drop into the present moment and we can start observing what's happening for us, what feelings are coming up that we're trying to avoid. So that's why we're doing that behavior. Oh, I'm about to do a behavior which is not going to be very conducive for us. So it's almost like a suspended moment. We become aware and when you become aware, that's the first step of transformation. Until you're aware, you can't do any transformation. So the breath is that portal. And what's also interesting about breath, it can do more. There's something I talk about, the energy interventions, where you can use a lot of energy through the breath to go into our subconscious and dislodge these suppressed energies and release 30 years of trauma, whatever it is. It can release so many things. You can completely change in 15 minutes with a conscious driving breath. So it's very liberating because it's free, isn't it? Yeah. I don't have the breath available. Getting rid of 30 years only gets me halfway of getting rid of all that. You know, it is interesting when you say it's the thing we can't live without the shortest period of time. You know, Adrian and I both grew up in Canada. I always thought it was maple syrup. If you went without maple syrup for any length of time, that was the end of life as we know. Or hockey, yeah. Or hockey, that's right. I agree with you, Derek. I've pulled that out myself. The only way I can get that in is by breathing through it. There you go. I agree with you, though. Breath really is powerful, calming you down, giving you confidence. You know, Adrian and I do breathing before we present, just to make sure that we're focused and we've got things going. Some interesting numbers, okay? I'm gonna throw some at you and give us some advice. According to research, 80% of our thoughts are negative. 95% of our thoughts are repetitive. So it's basically this hamster wheel that makes it difficult to be intentional. But you say it doesn't have to be. Why? Yeah, great awareness. So I just let's go through that data quickly. The 95% of thoughts are repetitive. That represents the subconscious programs which are driving everything. And I talk about these belief loops. Our beliefs are stored in our subconscious and the beliefs shape our thoughts. They send up thoughts into our conscious mind and then they drive behaviors which result in our feelings and then those feelings imprint back on the subconscious and reaffirm the belief loop. This is the funny thing. Our programs, which are determining 95% of our daily decisions, you know how they're formed? Through that soft stuff. It's our feelings. Whatever you feel repetitively, that's the programs that you create. So when you think about that, the 95% and then 80% of the negative, that means only 15% of our daily behaviours, thoughts and feelings are negative. What a life to live, like absolutely miserable. Now, the reason why that is, because it's just been unconscious coding, the great thing is we have agency to recode our subconscious. The subconscious, it's a super computer, but it has a few faults. It doesn't have the ability to choose between truth and untruth. Whatever the strongest feeling is, even if it's the wrong perspective and it's not factual, it determines it to be true and that will create a program. But the great thing about it is, it can be recoded through the same way. So whatever you impress on the subconscious, you can recode and you can completely can unravel years of stories that you thought defined you. And one of the saddest things I hear is when people go, oh, that's just the way I'm wired. Or people can't change. Listen to that, wired, that's coding. That's not who you are. Like at our core, when we come out of the baby, we are just divine love. We're a conscious being. We're perfect, and that's why everyone's so intrigued about a baby. I've got my first baby coming very soon. And like, people are in awe of watching like the journey of making life, because it's a miracle. But then all these faulty stories driven by the ego create these other illusions. So it is moldable, it is changeable. You just have to believe that it's possible. That's the most important part. Your beliefs will always outweigh my beliefs. So I always say this when I'm coaching with someone or I'm looking at taking someone on, I never go to the sales pitch because there's no point. I literally check in and go, your whole practice is checking with your intuition. Your intuition already knows there's a power, like checking, how does this feel? Is this lighting you up? And do you believe, you don't need to see the whole path, but do you believe that this could help you on your journey? And if it does, it will. If you don't, it won't work. So your beliefs are more powerful and that's really the most important thing is just to keep checking and going, are my beliefs serving you? Because beliefs are malleable, they're just perspectives, they're stories, there's no such true as a true real belief and I believe everyone has the right to their own beliefs, that's what I love about the human experience. We can have so many things but what I do care about is, are your beliefs serving you? And we know how the beliefs are serving you because you'll have more of those pleasant sensations, more of those feelings. You'll be feeling more in love with the life. Love that, and congratulations, yeah, Finian and your partner on your baby to be. That sounds great. Thank you so much, very kind. So how do people learn more about your work? Where would you send them? So the best place I would go to is intentionality.com. On there, you'll be able to access our app and there's a free trial there and that has incredible breath practices, all these different tools as well. Something you mentioned was practical. I don't want this to be a theoretical philosophy, this is like deep practical. I always say you're one breath away from intentionality because when you take one breath, you get to have a conscious awareness going, is this behavior going to lead me to those desired feelings or is it going to take me away? So I have all these different tools that you can follow and that will take you on a great journey. I just say just pick one of them and then you're moving in the right direction and then you can pick another tool and another tool and collide and you both before you know it, you won't even recognize yourself. That's the wild thing because the human mind thinks in a linear way and we think, oh, I've got to go from this step to this step to this step. But the subconscious and the universal mind is the quantum. It's a here and now, and anything can change instantaneously. And before you know it, exponential change will happen. You might, wow, my life is completely different, because we can step into parallel dimensions of ourselves. There is the version of you which is incredible, and optimistic, and powerful, and loving, but there's also a version of you who is in fear, stuck, and lost. Which version do you want to be? Well, there's a parallel version of me that's probably a master criminal, but probably. This has been so good. Our time has already flown by, Finian. You mentioned, like I said, there's practical tools. In your book, you talk about five key elements to live with intention. Maybe give us one or so more that you feel maybe we haven't touched on here that is essential as we close up. Yeah, so I would love to focus on one, which is leverage energy over time. That's like a key intention. Time is limited. We're all playing in the same construct there and it's depleting each day. It's also a construct. The energy, we have the ability to bring more energy to us or take away energy for us. So when we feel like we don't have enough time, I often say, no, that's not a problem. It's you need to get better at decision-making. And the way we get better at decision-making is to make sure we're in the right energetic state to make that decision. So what are we doing? Are we empowering ourselves? Did we breathe in the right place? Is our physiological state supporting our psychological state? We just open up and breathe and naturally we have more energy. And that's gonna be very powerful. So I always wanna challenge people and go, what can you do with your energy? Are you being an energy giver? Are you being an energy taker? What's something that would improve your energy right now? And just could be just going out for the sun, hugging someone, all these natural ways to boost up our energy. And when we do that, we'll have a ripple effect across the intentionality, and that's where we always start is with energy. Excellent. Hey, so the one big takeaway I'm getting from our conversation is this importance of breath. So as we wrap up, why don't you take us through a quick breathing exercise to calm people's anxieties. You know the podcast is Anxiety at Work. So give us a quick little breathing exercise for those that are listening and thinking, I don't want to go to work today. Give us a little exercise and we'll wrap it up. Okay, great. So the reason why we have anxieties is because we're living in the future or we're feeling depressed about the past. So we're not in the present moment. So we need to drop into the present moment. I just spoke about the connection between the psychological and physiological states. You can change one and they affect the other. So what I'm going to do is guide you through something called a heart coherence breast. And you'll see that it drives both the physiological change and the psychological change. So do you want to participate as well? Can I guide you through? Absolutely, let's go for it. So, I'd like you to close your eyes and just drop into this present moment. Paying attention to your breath, just observe what's happening with your breath and what sensations are happening in your body. We're not trying to change them, we're just bringing awareness. This whole practice is about awareness. Maybe it's a bit shallow, maybe you're feeling a bit tired if you're in that anxious place. So now I want us to start breathing in and out through our nose. And we're going to do this perfect breath of five seconds in, five seconds out. So let out all our air and then slowly breathing through the nose for four, three, two, one. And then exhale, four, three, two, one. 2, 1, inhale, keep going through the nose, soft and gentle, and then out through the nose, relaxing, deeper and deeper, feeling more and more relaxed, inhale, 4, 3, 2, 1, exhale, 4, 3, 2, 1. So continuing that pace of breath, I now want you to go to a time in your life where you just felt so much peace, love, joy. Whatever it is, whatever's coming forward, I just want you to go to that place. It could be when you met your partner and you were just having this moment of embrace. It could be when you were a young little child and you were just having the best ice cream ever. It could be on a day where you just did the perfect skiing maneuver, because I'm a skier, whatever it is, and you just felt so happy. And I want you to relive that experience like it's happening right now. Bring those senses alive. What do you see? What are you hearing? What are you tasting? What are you smelling? What are you touching? Really bring those senses alive and relive that experience and let those feelings of love or peace or joy just wash over you right now. Savour that whole experience, really enjoying it. And then just take a little scan of what your breath is doing now or sensations that are happening in your body That you are in the present moment and in the present moment. There's nothing to be fearful of nothing to be worried about And then whenever you're ready you can open up your eyes Don't forget to get his book. It's a great one It's called intentionality a groundbreaking guide to breath consciousness and radical self-transformation available at fine bookstores everywhere and if you're in Colorado, look them up. Delighted to have you on the podcast, Vinny, and all the best. Sell a million. Thanks for meeting you. Appreciate you, bye. So I love a good breathing exercise, Adrian. You know, I know that you use it. I use it before I present every time, those block breathing and the whole bit. But I'm curious. I made a bunch of notes. What did you write down? What was meaningful? Well, let's start with his kickoff. Look, he knew he needed to make changes in our lives, which everybody does. But he says, first off, he just find how I wanted to feel. Isn't that important? How do I want to feel? Then secondly, what are the steps to getting me there? I know that sounds simple, but so few people do that. And that was just an aha to me. Yeah, yeah, the soft stuff, that's the hard stuff. I really resonated with, I was always the youngest. Because it's so funny, I have a little bit of a later birthday and I always took great pride of being the youngest guy in the class, also making the basketball team, or whatever it was, right? And now of course, when I fill out any applications, I've got to scroll way down to get to the year I was born. Yeah, you keep going, don't you? Yeah, to get to your year. I just hope it goes that far. Yeah. Again, three parts of your brain, the universal, the subconscious and the conscious. So much of what we do is repetitive and we just kind of do it. I thought that was really interesting. Again, being intentional. I really do love that word. You know, if you want to get good at anything, if you want to change anything, you have to be really specific, you have to be very intentional, and you have to, you know, develop that routine and go through it. I love that he came up with 16 things that made him feel good. You know, often we'll stop at two or three, but he really went deep, 16 ways that makes him feel better because he never wanted to feel the way he felt. Well, and those of you who are listening didn't get to see Finian's face. He's got, you know, he's really positive. He's got a good energy about him. And he says, look, leverage energy. Um, and you could tell, you know, I think his stats are probably right. 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts are repetitive. So what are we mulling and ruminating on all day is the negative. So how do you turn it and make it more positive? That's that idea of intentionality. So are we leveraging our energy in a positive way to, to lead us to, to something more positive in our lives and break that cycle. A really important point. Two things for me really quick. Your strongest feelings equal your truth. You know, and whether it's true or not, that's the way you feel and it gets really intense and whatever you're believing in that moment, that's your truth, right? Your strongest feelings are your truth. And then leverage energy over time. You know, get your energy level where you need to be and and that'll take care of the time Yeah, delightful guest like you say really positive karma good energy and that wonderful, Colorado accent that you just really Yeah, it really made it made it So hey, we had a great time today learning from Finnian Kelly pick up a copy of his book intentionality Big thanks to our producer Brent Klein who's intentional in all he does to Christy Lawrence who helps us find amazing guests, and to all of you who listened in. If you like the podcast, share it, tell others about it. We'd also love you to visit thecultureworks.com, where you can find out about our new, amazing anxiety at work training that will help you and your team thrive. And we love to speak at audiences all over the world, whether it's virtual or in person, about teamwork, culture, resilience, mental health, give us a call, we'd love to talk to you about your event. And of course, feel free to pick up our book. It's available at fun bookstores everywhere. It's on Audible, it's digital, and it's even available on lit video books where they take your book and they make it into a short movie. Really kind of cool. And that book is called Anxiety at Work, which is the name of the podcast, which is the name of your house, which is, you know, you've got to have a, it's your license plate, yeah. Thanks for pointing that out having the title does help when you're looking for a book appreciate you Adrian as always I'll give you the last word thanks everybody for joining us until next time we wish you the best of mental health