The Insensitive Truth

Is what you're going to say going to cause people dismay? More importantly, can it wait another day? That's the topic of this weekly Grasshopper Notes essay from John Morgan for the week of February 5th.

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Transcript

The Insensitive Truth

Here’s a personal dilemma I’m wresting with: Telling the truth when it’s insensitive.

Here’s the question I’m asking myself over and over: Is the hurt my observation is going to cause outweighed by its informative value?

This truth is ugly and it will hurt some people at a time when they could use less suffering.

Rolling this around in my head reminds me of a story from almost 40 years ago.

I was doing a radio talk show and a noted local mob boss had died. It was the day of his funeral and people started to call and savagely berate this man. Their observations weren’t opinions, but hard, cold facts.

But I decided to cut off the conversation after just two calls. I said, “Today we’re not going to talk about this topic. Here’s why.” Then I went on to say something to this effect: “This man may deserve all this vitriol, but his family doesn’t.” 

I went on to point out that he had a spouse, children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, and others who had nothing to do with his alleged misdeeds and they didn’t need to hear this on this day of mourning. I added, “You can call me tomorrow and say whatever you want about his man, but not today.”

I held the truth at bay for another day, and may I say, I suspect it caused a lot of innocent, hurting people less dismay.

I think I’ve answered my own current dilemma. How about you? Is there something you’re “jonesin” to say that can wait for another day, so you don’t hurt people already in harm’s way?

It’s a question worth reflection.

What will you choose? The righteous truth with absolute proof, or putting it on the shelf and feel better about yourself?

All the best,

John