Reciprocate

The Grasshopper came up with a new phrase: Quid Pro NO. Find out what it means in this mini podcast.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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Transcript

Reciprocate

Years ago, The Grasshopper introduced me to a new Latin phrase: “Quid Pro NO.”

It didn’t take long for me to catch on to his message. We all know people whom we do lots for and when we ask them for something, they’e too quick to say “No.”

If you're a parent, you implicitly appreciate this concept, especially if you have a 2 year old or teenagers. It’s next to impossible to get them to do things you want done. It’s easier to get a bill through congress.

Simply put, they have little appreciation for your efforts on their behalf. The good news is most of us outgrow this behavior, but some of us don’t and just don’t reciprocate to others that often.

Reminds me of a story . . .

Years ago, I went out of my way to hire a person. I had to lobby heavily to get them the position. There was lots of resistance from my boss because it would mean adding to the payroll. I was persistent because I knew this person was a perfect fit for what we were doing. Their salary instantly doubled and they got raises each year. This person had all the raw materials to excel in this position and was coached heavily to succeed.

This story has two endings. One, this person was a great hire and turned out to be all that I expected and then some. The second ending had me being downsized (fired) from that position 3 years after that hire. When the news spread throughout the building, people I only knew casually came by and offered their words of consolation. When this person dropped by, the only thing they said was, “I just heard the news; that sucks” and then went on their way. If it was 15 seconds, it was a long time.

It bothered me.

I got to wondering about what it is that blinds adults to express gratitude and reciprocate to people who do much for them. I must not have been the only one who was wondering, otherwise we would never have gotten Mother’s Day as a holiday.

I’ve found that reciprocation is a two-way street, but not for one-way people.

I guess the message is to notice “Quid Pro NO” in ourselves because we all do it from time to time. Perhaps it comes from some sense of entitlement that we’ve acquired along the way, or maybe it stems from not being taught the art of reciprocation. The origin of our behavior isn’t important; the expression of gratitude and the act of reciprocation is.

Each time we fail to reciprocate or express gratitude, we throw salt in the wound of unacknowledgement – a fate worse than death.

In closing, here’s a sublime rhyme: If someone has put something nice on your plate, remember to reciprocate.

All the best,

John