If You Bring It In, You Bring It Out

Some sage advice from a dear friend leads to a discovery about ignoring facts. Find out more in this week's Grasshopper Notes essay from John Morgan for the week of July 1st.

Grasshopper Notes are the writings from America's Best Known Hypnotherapist John Morgan. His podcasts contain his most responded to essays and blog posts from the past two decades. 

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Transcript

If You Bring It In, You Bring It Out

There is an upside and a downside to the observation “If you bring it in, you bring it out.” One side truly outshines the other.

First, the upside. My dear friend Paul introduced me to the favorable approach. Paul is a car nut. There’s no other way to say it. He treats his cars like they’re showroom models and you’ve never seen cleaner, more tidy automobiles. Many years ago he told me the secret to keeping the inside clean. He said, “If you bring it in, bring it out.” That meant whatever you brought into the car with you, you took out when exiting the vehicle at the end of the day. Think coffee cups, doughnut wrappers, or anything else you brought in. The interior of my car is much cleaner thanks to Paulie’s advice.

Now the downside. I learned this over 40 years ago when I was invited to witness a focus group our radio station was conducting. We, as the observers, were behind a two-way glass in another room where we could see and hear what was going on in the interview room.

There were four of us. The general manager, the sales manager, the program director, and me the morning DJ. Before the meeting we all went out to dinner and exchanged opinions about what we thought the radio station was doing well and where we needed to improve. We all were not in agreement on the topics we discussed, but we did have that conversation.

Now we’re in the isolation room observing the meeting. The moderator asked several questions of the attendees about our station. We listened to them one-by-one offer their opinions, some of which were in agreement with what some of us said at dinner, and some were not. 

After the meeting the four of us met with the moderator and discussed what was gleaned from this group of listeners. It was eye-opening to me that the only things we agreed on were the viewpoints expressed by the listeners that supported the positions each of us expressed at dinner. In other words, the opinions we brought into the room are the ones we brought out. No minds were changed.

We have a tendency to ignore facts that don’t line up with our opinions and that stands in the way of making changes or progress or reaching a solution.

Look no further than politics to see an un-shining example of this reality.

So what to do if this applies to you, and my guess is, it does. 

First, recognize how observant you are of another’s foibles. You know exactly what their problem is and you could offer a workable solution if they would only listen. Now, pretend you have that problem or one similar, how would you advise yourself? By using your imagination in this way, you’re bypassing your stuck in the mud viewpoint and listening to sage advice.

It’s a novel way to let the facts come through instead of being dismissed by you. You give yourself more options when you let the facts slip by the obstinate you.

Bottom Line: If you bring out more than you brought in, you’re more likely to get a win.

All the best,

John