Ep 189 Speed of Life

Today we talk about the speed of life.  Join us as we explore a topic that comes up over and over again and has relevance for our daily living.

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Transcript

Speed of Life

Chris: [00:00:00]  Hello. It's great to be with you today. We want to talk about the speed of life. And this is a topic that comes up over and over again in my own life and with people that I companion in contemplative space. Slow is often celebrated and I appreciate being slow myself. A slow morning, a slow meal, a slow walk.

 Slow is great and it's something I aim for in my life. But as we talk about slow, I think we can end up giving fast a totally bad rap. However, I don't think fast is necessarily inherently bad. While I intentionally have areas of my life that are slow, I also live fast in many ways. For example, we have an older computer that we use to record this very podcast.

It gets bogged down, which results in very slow processing of information to the point of where it glitches [00:01:00] and automatically restarts and. It's just a cumbersome time. And so when it gets super slow, I know that I need to take time to clear it up. And so I do that. It makes a world of difference in the processing speed.

So eliminating excess helps to go from a slow, bogged down process to a faster and more efficient work environment. In this situation, fast is much appreciated. And I don't know that we can just say the speed of slow is somehow sacred and the speed of fast is only bad. I think a lot of it has to do with how we are engaging with the particular speed of life in the moment and adjusting accordingly.

So as I bring up the topic today, what comes to mind for you, Christina?

I appreciate the examples that you're bringing up because I find them really relatable in my life. I am definitely the type of person that's multifaceted. I have definite areas of my life where I love a slow pace. [00:02:00] I'm very slow and methodical at things, but also quite a bit of my life is fast and efficient and smooth and get things done type of a thing.

And so I appreciate naming that one is not sacred over the other, that there's space for both of them to have their own sacredness. But I think for me, as I think about the speed of life, I think there's a difference between fast and rushing and actually in preparation for this podcast, I looked up the definitions of fast and the definitions of rush.

And so fast is capable of moving at high speed or allowing people or things to move at a high speed. And I think this fits well with the example that you gave earlier of removing obstacles in order to have a more efficient, pleasant experience. That would, to me, mean fast. When I looked up rush, it says this, to move with an urgent haste, forced to act hastily, blurry of hasty activity or a sudden intense feeling.

And so just reading that aloud, it's gosh, I feel it's forced upon you. [00:03:00] It seems to be fueled by quote unquote negative energy. There's anxiety that you have to do something quickly. There's an external pressure. There's urgency. And so I think being rushed. Feels much different to me than going fast.

And so when I think about life and even to your point earlier, I am often again, in my own life and with others talking about the speed of life . I think that sometimes when we talk about the speed of life, we're actually talking about the rushing aspects of life, which I think do need tending to personally.

Yes, absolutely. And I love that you brought those definitions to us today. And I think whenever you use the word rush, that one acting with haste or a flurry of activity. And one of the things that comes to mind for me is like rhythm. I think getting into a daily rhythm. And, I know lots of people that work fast with a rhythm, like they've done something over and it's repetition.

And so they [00:04:00] can do things efficiently. They have this rhythm to it because they've spent the time doing it or another reason why they can do it efficiently is because they've given forethought of how they want it to go. And so I find myself being drawn into this. idea of rushing when I haven't prepared enough.

Like I'm being like a black hole. I'm being sucked into life's emergencies, life's crises. And then because I haven't prepared well I end up rushing and losing a pace that feels sustainable, that feels Like I'm working effectively that I'm engaging in relationships in a way that is wholesome and generative.

And so I think for me, rhythm and foresight is something that I think about when I think about rush versus fast. Yeah. And building off of that, when I'm in a rush, I tend to make more mistakes, whether it [00:05:00] be like a practical mistake or relational mistakes, right? I'm not as choosy with my words, or I'm snapping because there's this urgency to get out the door to do the next thing.

And, I think for me sometimes just okay, in the middle of this is this fast flurry and it's quickly turning into a hasty rush, taking a minute to just I'll take my breath, like a deep breath just to collect myself and gather my bearings so that I don't just keep down this urgent, like this rushing pace that I have to do.

And, again, I like that we're talking about these different things because there are certain things where I've been really intentional about slowing down for meals and, even, and not that this is totally unavoidable, but instead of Rushing out the door in the morning with my coffee in a mug type of a thing, sitting down and enjoying the cup of coffee, savoring it, savoring the cup of tea.

For example, tonight we have one of our kids is in an after school club, the other one has a volleyball game. And the temptation is you pick up the one kid, you have some fun. quick dinner in the [00:06:00] car to get to the other event to go watch his sister. And it's no, we're not going to do this.

We're going to be a little bit late to the volleyball game. The rest of the family can go. I'm going to pick this child up. We're going to come home, eat, settle in a little bit, and then go. We don't have to rush. It's okay if we miss a few minutes, because I would rather show up and be really present to the volleyball game versus having a hurried experience.

It's a really exciting experience to get there. Now we're not going to take the most slow meal ever and have a, a Thanksgiving feast. It'll be a quick, simple meal. All right, that fast. So it's not maybe one of my slower type of lingering meals, but I think, again, we can guard ourselves against that rushing because that steals away from contemplativeness of being present of being collected.

Or at least for me, it does. I think for most of us, it just, you just getting whisked along. You Yeah, I really appreciate you naming that. I think one of the things that I think of, to some of your points is that this idea of when I'm in relational dynamics with people, do I cause them to rush?

And I [00:07:00] think I think whenever I'm looking at the task more than I'm looking at the relational connection, I can bring that into an environment. And I'm, I'll just a practical example with my son. My son loves to sit and read books after school. And one of the things that I notice is that, the backpack is on the floor or, their shoes.

And so what I want is cleanliness. But I also want to enter into relational health. And so maybe if I say, Hey, I don't want you to do this right now, because I know that you're reading, but can we maybe set a timer, can you read, and then I can help you pick up after you read and, that, that is much better for relational dynamics, then I say, Hey, stop reading, pick this up now.

I want you to do this now. I'm forcing this urgency on you. And so that, that's a, just a very practical thing that comes to [00:08:00] mind. And I think, if I have a task in mind, And I'm promoting the task getting done more than I am the relational connection. I can get out of balance.

So that's what comes to mind for me. And I think just like anything, our speeds, just like if you're driving a car, your speed changes. When, if I go to on whatever trip I'm going on, whether it's a 10 minute trip or a three hour trip somewhere, I don't have the same speed the entire trip that the speed is going to change and vary.

And it's the same with our days, right? There's. pieces of the day that, we do have to be places at certain times. And so that does require a different pace, a different speed of life than others. If you think about the weekly rhythm, all of that kind of stuff. And so I don't think there's such a thing as a slow life.

I think that it's a, the speed of life varies and we have to pay attention to that. And to your point, sometimes there is something that can come in and it is urgent and you do need to tend to that immediately for whatever variety of reasons, right? You're cooking something and the eggs are boiling and it's boiling over, [00:09:00] but in that, okay, I can then build off of that and the hastiness can turn into a flurry versus I've dealt with what I needed to do, and then I can dial back the speed again to a more sustainable speed. Just like sometimes in a car, you have to speed up a little bit, but then you can go back to your sustainable speed.

So I think, again, there's not one speed of life. I think it varies constantly. Yeah. Yeah. I think one thing that comes to mind is a lot of people live in a state of crisis and emergency because of the, it's exciting to certain personalities, other personalities, like I think about friends that I know that work in a restaurant situation, it's very fast paced, they thrive in the immediacy of getting food out and customer service and all the different things.

Aspects of restaurant life, but that's just one part of their life. I don't know if you want to sustain that whenever you go home and you're like having the same pace. And so I think [00:10:00] to your point, we have ebbs and flows. And so times where we are working efficiently and fast, but other times where, I love you bringing in meals I love sitting out on my back patio and eating a meal slowly and making sure that I'm chewing my food and even being grateful for for the time and the space and, the fish that was brought, from wherever it came from to my plate and, being grateful for you who cooked it for me or, or whenever I cook for you.

I, I think.

That is an important thing to live into, the different types of paces. So I really appreciate you bringing that up. Yeah. And I think there's an intentionality to that. We have been trying to intentionally eat more on our back patio and the weather is still lovely here in Wisconsin and, across the street, one of the trees, we're starting to see sprinkles of yellow.

And so each day when I'm out there, I pay attention to, Oh, did you notice that there's a little bit more yellow today on that tree? And it's faint. There's not a lot. [00:11:00] And it's the only tree so far in our neighborhood. Starting to turn, but when we are slow, that does give the opportunity for that. And so I think that's a beautiful thing, right?

And Chris, to your point about restaurants, I worked a lot of years in restaurants, and I think the reason that works well is because there's systems in place, there's a team, you know what you're doing and things that foresight that you were talking about. And I do think that there can be.

very efficient things that people do. And when you're repeating it over and over again, it doesn't take you as long to, to do those things versus when you're first learning something, it can be what you're talking about earlier. The slow pace is cumbersome. It's, there's a bog downness because you're clunky.

You don't know what, how to do this. It's a task that you feel maybe nervous or unsure about. You have to keep checking how you check in, how you do this. We all do that with new skills, driving a car, tying our shoe, a new job that we do. But we don't want to stay there, right? Cause that is clunky and cumbersome.

And so again, really appreciate the variance of that. The speed of life can offer us. Yeah. And I like that you mentioned the passage of time. I think [00:12:00] a contemplative way of living your life is where you can reflect on the passage of time and what was done in this season, what was accomplished in this season, what growth happened in this season.

And I think when you're rushing, that's really hard to do. I think rushing doesn't lend itself to being contemplative or even acknowledging the growth or saying, I don't want to repeat that mistake. I don't want to continue to that things come up three or four times I'm noticing.

And I don't want to continue doing that thing. And so I think rushing keeps you from being able to do that. But I think the passage of time is very important when it, when you think about contemplative living.

Thank you so much for a generative conversation. It was a delight to talk about fast versus rushing. And now is the. part of the podcast [00:13:00] where we talk about what we are into. So what are we into? I am into California living. So I have some relatives that live in California and it has been a very long time since I have visited them.

And so it's a holiday weekend coming up and Me and one of my kiddos are flying out there to visit my aunt and uncle and cousins that live there. And then relatives from another part of the country are going to meet us there for a long weekend. And so all the California things one of my cousins it's her first time going there.

And so she's never been to In N Out burger and checking out some different locations that we're going to go to that are fun. Of course, hitting the wineries, they live in wine country of California. So I'm looking forward to going back and spending some time with my Greek family in California. Very fun.

I am into harvesting. I have a number of cucumbers that are ready to come off the vine. Some cherry tomatoes that are ready to be picked. I have one watermelon, a mini watermelon. I've [00:14:00] never grown a watermelon before, so I'm super excited to try this watermelon. I have some carrots that are ready to come up out of the ground and I had one the other day.

And It's just my imagination, I'm sure, but it tasted so much more vivid and vibrant to me, just plucking something from the ground and eating it. But I am into harvesting the vegetables and the fruit that I have been growing for the past few months. So that is what I'm into. Thank you so much for joining us.

It was great to be with you. Make it a great week.