The FractionX Podcast
Give Me a Break
Ever felt like your vacations aren't doing enough to relieve the stress? Join the ever-growing crowd of owner-operators who feel like the can't take a break. On today's episode Matt and Drew talk about the importance of rhythms of rest and recovery that keep you sane and keep your business going strong at the same time.
Ever felt like your vacations aren't doing enough to relieve the stress? Join the ever-growing crowd of owner-operators who feel like the can't take a break. On today's episode Matt and Drew talk about the importance of rhythms of rest and recovery that keep you sane and keep your business going strong at the same time.
all right, matt, it's summertime. What is summer? I know summer involves golf, when your back's hurting. What is, what is? Uh?
Speaker 1:what does summer look like for you in the we've got a pretty untraditional approach to summer, like our beach vacations in October, like that's when we go to the beach.
Speaker 2:That's a, that's a hack though, because you know, I grew up in Florida and when you live in Tennessee, you got to get to the beach in like February or October, or you got to get a little break, especially if you can get it in the winter time. Yeah, when people go down in February, I'm like I get it. What about you guys? You guys go to the beach a couple times, right? Yeah, we still have family in Florida. Jamie's mom lives down there and so we'll go down there for a week or two and then I've got a client in Colorado so I'm back and forth to Colorado once a month and I'll extend a couple of those and take some, take a kid or two.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I like doing that. I it's like I feel really blessed right now because I love living in nashville, like this is a great place to live and raise a family. Florida's my home, like you know. That's that's jamie and i's roots, so I love being able to get down there still, and we're huge disney family. Okay, we love it. Now I don't recommend going in the summer, you know, like that's my least favorite time to go, but the kids are just like jones and he goes. We'll do that. But then, man, I just like colorado's, where I my tank gets filled you ever take like fishing poles out there and do any.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've done some fly fishing out there. I've never like flown with any or anything like that.
Speaker 1:But well, this is like my least favorite episode, because we're talking about rhythms and rest and um, man will you rest when you're active, though that's like you're like yeah, don't you think like my back's been out for like a week and so I haven't been like physically active? I haven't been able to golf, haven't been able to go to the gym, and I feel terrible Like I'm working in my bed most days, cause that's the only chair that I can get comfortable in. I hate it, that's not rest for you.
Speaker 1:No, it's awful, but um, you know it's, it's coming up, both of our. We have several kids. I have a fifth grader moving into sixth grade, so they had a ceremony of an eighth grader moving into high school. So there's a ceremony. You just had a senior graduate from high school, so there's all this transition from, you know, school year into summer and, um, man, I want things to be linear, like I'm just a like facts logic, yeah, I don't want to engage things that are nuanced and subtle.
Speaker 1:It's like A plus B equals C. I want to run my businesses that way. I've got this input plus this input that gives me this output, and so it's almost like you just want to bear down and just work. And then I was reminded listening to something the other day, a podcast, and it's like life is not linear, it's so circular. And he just said think about it, like if you just inhaled all the time you die. The balance of an inhale is an exhale. And that's owner operators, that's founders. Like there has to be the exhale somewhere or you don't make it.
Speaker 2:And it's so tough. Owners and operators, man, this is a big subject because it's hard to know when to take a break. It's hard to know how to take a break right, because it's not like you're working a nine to five and when you take a vacation you can just leave it all behind and someone else either picks up or waits for you, or whatever. It's like no, especially if you are in a kind of business that has a product or a service. You have clients. It's like they're not on vacation. You got to keep serving them, so it's like this is a.
Speaker 2:This is a big topic for owners and operators to figure out how do I actually have rhythms of rest and break where I can truly recharge while keeping my business afloat?
Speaker 1:I've got kind of two core topics I want to talk about under this rest and relaxation. Our actual first podcast together was with a really significant leader named Carrie Newhoff, and Carrie wrote a really great book and one of the lines from this book is time off won't heal when what hurts is how you spend your time on. So the idea that you can just take a one week vacation and that fixes all the stress and pressure and the way that you work, that's a it's a misnomer, it's false, it's not going to happen. So that's a false idea of rhythm and rest. Like, okay, I'm going to get this one two-week vacation a year and that's going to fix all my problems.
Speaker 2:Right, because what ends up happening is stuff starts popping up those week or two anyway, and then you get resentful because you're, and you know, leading up to the trip, there's all this stuff. You're trying to get ready and then coming home, you're coming home to messes, and so it ends up being, you know, it just kind of falls apart. You know the very rarely does that happen.
Speaker 1:So I think my encouragement there is. There's probably a way to lead as a business owner that integrates rest better into your weeks than this hope and a prayer that maybe this one summer vacation is going to fix how stressed I am. I think there's a way to lead your life and how you work that puts the right amount of rest in it so that your vacation is actually something you can enjoy and if things pop up from a work standpoint you're not so frustrated, it's like no, I'm just integrated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the key. I mean I really, I really believe you're right. I'm just integrated. Yeah, that's the key. I mean I really, I really believe you're right, and I think it takes a lot of intentionality. And well, I'll speak for myself and maybe someone will relate, but my tendency is to lead and run my business with a lot of anxiety, like a lot, like a lot of urgency. Things have to be done right now, everything's important, everything's on fire, like I just have this internal anxiety that just fuels me. So if I'm not careful, I can get up in the morning and jump right into work. I mean, I have my coffee, but I'm also like working or whatever.
Speaker 2:And so, in order for me to integrate rest and rhythm into my life, I have to be really intentional with my schedule, or I will be the type that would just work, I mean, if I didn't have a family, like the family is helpful for me in the evenings, cause I'll I'll shut it down and be with the family dinner or whatever, but I would probably just keep working. Yeah, cause I also love what I do. Yep, right, so it's not like I hate it. So I'm I, I love what I do, I love trying to get ahead. I love you, know all that kind of stuff, and so if you don't build in rhythms of rest and permission yourself to say, hey, this, this can wait, it's not you know and I've, I've. There's apps, there's programs I use now.
Speaker 2:You got some hacks, I will just drive myself insane as a business owner trying to get around everything.
Speaker 1:You know. So I think that's great. And the other thing you said when we were kind of previewing this episode was when you're away, when you're taking rest, when you think about your business, you actually think about it from a different perspective. Talk about that for a second.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I love it when I'm in a healthy place and I'm integrated. I'm actually not fully shut off from the rest of my life.
Speaker 1:Right, you dialed it back to a different place but, it's not off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, some of the busy work might be, you know, have gone away, but I love and look forward to going away because I really dream. I dream so much better when I'm in a new place.
Speaker 1:Different environment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when I was leading a team, this was like they would always be nervous when I'd go away because I would come back with all these ideas that I wanted to put in place and implement, execute.
Speaker 2:I feel a lot more freedom now as an entrepreneur and business leader to kind of be able to work on my business. It affects less of employees and stuff, but I look forward to it. Like I told you, like hey, when I'm going away I'll probably have a lot of fresh ideas and energy and all that kind of stuff. So I love the fact that I'm not so burned out when I go on vacation that I need to just not think about my businesses at all. I actually have an excitement around man, I'm going to get some space to dream here. Whether I'm hanging out by the pool or I'm reading something or listening, you know, whatever I'm doing Usually for me on vacation, I'm not taking in much Like I'm not. I'm not reading leadership books on vacation Usually. You know I'm not usually listening to leadership podcasts, all that kind of stuff, but it really frees my mind to to think differently about business.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we we love to be distracted, and a distracted mind can't create.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I think it's the, when we give ourselves self space to to dream, um, almost space to be bored. That's when we get like intercepted with these great concepts and new visions and ideas, and that's that's what it's about. The other thing I wanted to talk about with rest and rhythms of rest is I'll never forget one of the first times I had a chance to encounter like a leadership, like nugget. It was actually a student pastor at the church I grew up at. He was leaving to go to a bigger church and he said Matt, my true test of leadership is if this falls apart, when I leave, I failed. Wow, I was like, okay, I'm 17 or 18 years old and I kind of know what that means, but not exactly.
Speaker 1:And so you know, we've got a mastermind coming up in June and one of the exercises we're going to be kind of going through is the true test of leadership is how long can you step away and it still be successful? Some people can only build a week, like I'm going to go on a one week vacation. Please don't burn this building down while I'm gone. Right, and that's maybe, maybe the. It's a personality based business where the founder is the product and if they're gone, there's no business Right.
Speaker 1:And then there's some people. You know that they want the whirlwind around them, they want it to revolve around their decisions and their actions, and so maybe they can step away for a couple weeks. But it's like a really great founder not only imprints his vision for the future of his company but puts in a culture of people who lead like they do, so that when they're gone it can still move forward. So it's like, okay, can you step away for three months If something tragic happened in your life your spouse gets cancer and you've got to go manage your family, you know, and take a different. Can the business still lead while you're gone?
Speaker 1:You know, we had this crazy experience I won't go into the details where the founder of an organization we both led in left we had 10 months without a senior leader. Fact that that organization made it for 10 months without a senior leader in place was because the culture was strong enough that even without a point person, it could go forward. It's like, okay, that's actually a pretty good test of leadership that when leaders leave the building, what systems, what kind of culture in place that keeps moving forward. So it's like my encouragement to leaders as they're taking a break this summer or they're getting some rest this summer. What have you built into your organization that allows it to function when you step away and for?
Speaker 2:the leaders that are listening to this, because I think there's a lot of insecurity and maybe even ego that comes into hey, does this organization still need me? They function without me. So a lot of more insecure leaders are going to really struggle stepping away in that working. They're going to say, hey, I almost need it to fail while I'm gone because I need to come in and be the rescuer and the hero and the savior, right? I think we got to really check ourselves on that stuff. I mean, there's a lot of ego, insecurity there.
Speaker 2:Because if, especially if, you're an owner operator, a point leader in an organization, even if it's C-suite or director level, but part of your responsibility is how do you chart new paths and how do you grow revenue and how do you all this kind of stuff, then you have to think, man, the more I give away and we did the episode on markers the more markers I give away, the more I delegate, the more I can test this out and be like, hey, I was gone for a couple of weeks and it's going well, maybe even better. You, you have to also have to realize that you could be part of the problem in, you know, keeping things from working efficiently, like I've done that for personal experience, because a lot of times I'd come back and they're like hey, we actually operated better the last three weeks because we weren't distracted by your new ideas or your new energy or whatever they're like, please go away, let us do our thing.
Speaker 2:But when I'm in a healthy place as a visionary and as a leader, I'm able to kind of look ahead and be two, three, four steps ahead on like, okay, here's where we need to go, here's where the future is. So it's actually freeing if, if we can put our egos aside and say, hey, this is now running well without me. Now, what can I do to add value, to grow? Or, yeah, not just grow. But how do I now turn around and invest back into my people? 100 like? So now my whole job is supporting and serving and loving the people. That I have to equip them to do their job better. That's a great place for a point leader. They're just doing vision and they're doing culture. They're doing those two things because everything else is running seamlessly.
Speaker 1:Exactly right. So maybe, just as we wrap up today, what um, what's your best memory of stepping away and getting rest and some needed input to come back as a leader, like what was your favorite story?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that's a good question. I'd love to. I'd love to hear yours too, if you have one, because I will say quite honestly, this idea is probably a two-year-old idea for me. It's not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've got more stories of how it didn't work well, with running really hard and looking forward to a date on the calendar to escape, to escape, to try to get a week, a two week, even a month, a two month, and things just really falling apart for me on that break, because it was that, and not looking forward to coming back, cause I knew so much stuff awaited me and I just hadn't worked through my own issues and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:So I will say now I feel so much like like we're getting ready to go on a family vacation together. Man, I have so much excitement and joy around being able to really be present with my family. I used to only be able to vacation when my leader vacationed because of insecurities, ego stuff, but also like man know, and this is a whole nother episode but if the leader's there and they're making decisions and making stuff and then I'm coming home to messes and you know, yeah, and that's a whole nother episode on if you're, if you're a point leader on how to like respect other people when they're trying to take some time off.
Speaker 1:Don't change the game while they're gone.
Speaker 2:Give them the space, like, earn the like, the trust of like, hey, while you're gone, we're going to keep everything, but we're not making any major moves until you get back. That will decrease some anxiety. But but yeah, I think it's a new way for me. It's a new way of like building rest and rhythm. Permission myself like we were joking even before like man sometimes, for me to take a rest in the middle of the day from like 1 to 2 o'clock. Man, I'm so much more productive the rest of the day.
Speaker 2:I would never have done that before. I would never have said, hey, my body right now needs a mental reset and I'm going to take a break. Dude, that was such a foreign concept, but it's allowing me now to live in a more restful state. Not that I still don't wrestle with some anxiety stuff, but now when I go on vacation, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to engage some work while I'm gone, but it's manageable, it's not going to take time away from my family, I'm not going to. It's not one or the other, like you said, it's, it's a circular thing. It's breathing in, breathing out, you know. And so I think that's a tattoo, the only thing I ever thought like kind of made sense.
Speaker 1:You know that MC Escher print of, like all the staircases, winding and going, but they never go anywhere. And the idea behind that MC Escher print is like I'm such a destination guy, I hate journeys. I'm like where are we going? How's? How can we get there right now? Yeah. So vacations for me it's really difficult because like the drive down I make everybody in the car like hate themselves.
Speaker 2:You're the one that's like you got five minutes to get in and go to the bathroom, get back in the car, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like let's get to. If we're going to go to vacation, it starts when we get there, not on the way down there. So I mean, no, I've. I've done vacations horribly for 43 years I probably will continue to do that, but I'm trying to learn, like you, and build some new rhythms and well, it's good to know yourself.
Speaker 2:Like you and I have done actually several fishing trips now. Right, those are great vacations for me. Yeah, because we're active doing stuff, sometimes it's helpful for me to have my mind on other things. Yeah, like like a healthy distraction, not an unhealthy one, but like, hey, this is something that I'm doing with other people, we're fishing, we're having a great time. I think it's good to know yourself.
Speaker 1:Well, I was going to say my wife's going to hate me because all my favorite vacations are like individual excursions. It's like you and I went to Israel. That was a blast, that was cool no-transcript.
Speaker 2:I've done a lot of family trips, you know, especially when you had kids like hey, this is a great investment in the family. I'm not getting filled up here. This is a trip for them but no, that's good stuff and I think I just encourage owners and operators. Man, the, the success of your, your business, your longterm future as a leader, is going to be dependent on how much you prioritize rest.