Shandel Sutherland MCC, Melanie Montgomery MA, John Scott Sutherland DDS
Shandel shares the "Commit to It and Do It" framework she presented in Germany for living according to one's core values. She outlines the six steps using the acronym COMMIT: Clarify values, Organize life around them, acknowledge Misery as a sign you've strayed, Make hard decisions, Invest in your values, Trust yourself by not compromising.
The COMMIT Framework:
C - Clarify your top 5 values. Getting crystal clear on the values that are most important to you is essential for the next steps. Clarity provides focus.
O - Organize your life around those values. Once you know your values, intentionally structure your time, goals, decisions, etc. to align with what really matters to you.
M - Misery is a sign you've strayed from your values. Pay attention when you feel unhappy or unfulfilled - it could indicate you're off course from living congruently.
M - Make hard decisions to stay true to your values. Living by your values often requires letting go of less important things, even if they're convenient or profitable. Having the courage to do this is key.
I - Invest in what you value and divest from what you don't. Put your energy, money and resources toward the things and people that align with your values.
T - Trust yourself by not compromising your values and orienting your life around them. Have integrity by staying true to your word with yourself. Rely on your instincts to guide decisions.
Clarifying your top 5 values provides focus and is the foundation for living intentionally and developing self-awareness of your core values provides clarity and focus to achieve goals. Organizing your life and decisions around your values, rather than other factors, ensures you spend energy on what's most meaningful and leads to fulfillment. Feelings of misery or unhappiness can indicate you've strayed from your values and it's time to realign. Living by your values may require difficult decisions, but has rewards like peace of mind that outweigh other benefits. Invest your energy and resources into what really matters to you based on your values. Surrounding yourself with truth-tellers who hold you accountable helps you stay aligned with your values over time. It’s important to treat yourself with the same kindness you show others to stay motivated living congruently. Having compassion for yourself during missteps helps you get back on track living according to your values instead of experiencing shame.
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Shandel shares the "Commit to It and Do It" framework she presented in Germany for living according to one's core values. She outlines the six steps using the acronym COMMIT: Clarify values, Organize life around them, acknowledge Misery as a sign you've strayed, Make hard decisions, Invest in your values, Trust yourself by not compromising.
The COMMIT Framework:
C - Clarify your top 5 values. Getting crystal clear on the values that are most important to you is essential for the next steps. Clarity provides focus.
O - Organize your life around those values. Once you know your values, intentionally structure your time, goals, decisions, etc. to align with what really matters to you.
M - Misery is a sign you've strayed from your values. Pay attention when you feel unhappy or unfulfilled - it could indicate you're off course from living congruently.
M - Make hard decisions to stay true to your values. Living by your values often requires letting go of less important things, even if they're convenient or profitable. Having the courage to do this is key.
I - Invest in what you value and divest from what you don't. Put your energy, money and resources toward the things and people that align with your values.
T - Trust yourself by not compromising your values and orienting your life around them. Have integrity by staying true to your word with yourself. Rely on your instincts to guide decisions.
Clarifying your top 5 values provides focus and is the foundation for living intentionally and developing self-awareness of your core values provides clarity and focus to achieve goals. Organizing your life and decisions around your values, rather than other factors, ensures you spend energy on what's most meaningful and leads to fulfillment. Feelings of misery or unhappiness can indicate you've strayed from your values and it's time to realign. Living by your values may require difficult decisions, but has rewards like peace of mind that outweigh other benefits. Invest your energy and resources into what really matters to you based on your values. Surrounding yourself with truth-tellers who hold you accountable helps you stay aligned with your values over time. It’s important to treat yourself with the same kindness you show others to stay motivated living congruently. Having compassion for yourself during missteps helps you get back on track living according to your values instead of experiencing shame.
Thanks for joining us - don't forget to subscribe, rate (or like), comment & share!
Welcome to lead for clarity where we help you, your team and your organization, get to your next level and get the clarity that helps you focus on what matters. I'm Shandel Sutherland, and I am here with Melanie Montgomery, who I love, and I missed while I was in Germany, it's so great to see your face. Again,
Melanie Montgomery:
it's so great to see you as I missed our conversations, and I missed you just being there to brighten up my day. So I'm happy that you're back. And I'm hoping that we can spend over at a time today to talk through what you're able to accomplish over there, because I know that you did a whole lot we've been talking through on the podcast, the process for sustainable growth, we did an overview and we dug into values, pain and purposely connect. And I know that what you did over there really connects back well with those two pieces, or those three pieces. And so I'm hoping maybe we can do a deep dive into that today. While it's fresh in your mind, and you have all that that excitement from your trip.
Shandel Sutherland:
Oh, thank you, Melanie, my husband and I Yes, absolutely. headed over to Germany, for me to speak at an incredible it's Because it's like we give all this free information that almost like the female Entrepreneur of the Year award in Saxony, Germany. And the equivalent of the Governor did others are paying money for. So I always love my ROI loves to this ceremony. And before this ceremony, we got to do a part of get have people signups and get it for free. So what I was the keynote and the keynote that we did is commit to it and do it. And it was so compelling that I wrote our newsletter on talking to these young women about was that you have got to it too. And so those who are not subscribed to our monthly newsletter or quarterly newsletter, you got to do it. You got to go to shandel.com You'll put it put it in the notes, right, Melanie? live your life by your values. And if you go back to what we've been talking about Melanie, it's right there in the center, it's at the center of everything. What we wanted these young women to know is that they could do anything they wanted to do with their business. But it needed to be focused on their values, and they needed to reach their goals. So I thought we would share it here because it's going to help our listeners as they're applying the product, the process, it's going to help them remember why values are so important and help them around the wheel, especially when it comes to achieving these goals. Because in the end, the last stage of the process is reaching your goals. That's where you get the profit. That's where you get everything that you put into it. That's what we desire for everyone. So let's just hit it. You want to
Melanie Montgomery:
Yeah, absolutely.
Shandel Sutherland:
I love acrostic. Because it helps me remember when I'm on stage, but I also think it helps people to remember as well, and the Word was commit. Okay, so the C is get very clear clarity on your top five values is everything. Clarity is everything, I just got a new pair of contacts, Melanie, and I cannot see very good out of them. And they assure me that my eyes will focus will in the meantime, I am walking around with some haze and blur. And it's amazing to me how exhausting it is, I can see okay, but it's not having that clarity. I'm so tired by the mid day and exhausted by night, then it kind of reminds me if people who aren't clear on a lot of things, I think they walk around with that same kind of mental fog. It's fine. I'm getting along, but it's not as clear as it could be. And so that's why I think we love that word clarity. And when people get clear on their top five values, then they're able to go on to the next step, which is the Oh, and they can organize their life around it. You're not like, oh, I should value this, oh, I should value that. No, you value things. And when you get all the junk out of the way, then you become clear on your values. Now you can organize. And I think that's the key, you can't organize around something you're not clear about. And so they all feed each other in a really beautiful way organizing around your values. What does that mean? That means that you are saying, Okay, here's how many hours I have in the day, and you're making sure that the goals are fitting into that. And I think a lot of us get up and go okay, what do I need to do today? We don't take into account how does that really getting me closer to who I am and what I want to achieve in the long run. I get pretty excited about that. Are you following me so far, Melanie? Are Am I talking way too fast?
Melanie Montgomery:
No, I love it. I love what you've said so far. And it really reminds me of a big change that I made which is being more intentional with my time. My go to excuse if you will was I didn't have time I started reframing I didn't have time to it wasn't a priority to me. When I really say Melanie, you make the time for the things that are important for you, it changed so much. And that really fits into that organizing, because we're saying, I'm in control of my time, I'm in control of what I'm doing and the things that I'm prioritizing, and I'm going to do it based off of what's important to me, and I'm going to be intentional about it.
Shandel Sutherland:
That is awesome. And I want everyone to hear that thank you for popping in, because that is so key, which actually leads to this third step in the end, which is you got to make hard decisions. And so if you're going to organize your life around these values that are very clear for you, you're just going to end up making hard decisions. And I told them the story, we had a very lucrative mobile home park, and we made a lot of money, flat out, and we hated every minute, and we didn't even have to spend that much time was like five hours, maybe a month the most. But the energy was like 40 hours a day, not a week, a day, it felt like, and I'd wake up in the middle night thinking that things I didn't have to do. And finally, we just said, You know what, this is not our values. Yes, it makes money. But money is not on our value list. Because money is the result of doing work that you love doing. And so we ended up selling that park. And every time we started doubting like, this is the right thing to do, you know, we would just go back, it's our values, we're making a hard decision. And you know, what Melanie is hasn't even been a month, and we are so happy, so much weight has fallen off of our shoulders, that there's not amount of money that can give you that kind of piece. Were a REAL TESTIMONY of this. And it was hard. I mean, that's why we say you got to make hard decisions. All right, the next M, Misery is a sign. And that is exactly how Scott and I knew we needed to make that hard decision. Because we're just kind of walking around miserable. If you're not in this healthy process of growth, which we've been talking about, you're an off ramp into the cycle of misery. And the cycle of misery is not a fun place to be. But it is a wake up call that you're not living by your values. Do you have anything to add to that, Melanie? Because I think we're very tuned in to this when people are in a cycle of misery.
Melanie Montgomery:
I love what you're saying about understanding your values and putting them first, when I was building my career, I started realizing that if I chose a job based off of what it paid, then I wasn't always making the choice that was best for me right then or the choice that was going to be best for my future? I started really looking at what is important to me as I do a job search. Is it the culture of the organization? Is it the opportunity for upward mobility? Is it Team Building? Is it location, and I started digging into these different components and realize that money is not at the top of my list, I was more concerned about how do I build my career. And I started really bringing that into other aspects of my life. And that's really helped me to lean in, because so often we're like, well, this pays more, and this pays less, or I can, you know, spend more here spend less here. And while of course, we should be cognizant of money, and budget and all of that. But when we let that control our decisions, we end up in places that we aren't happy. But I've been in jobs where I was paid well, and I was miserable. And I've been in jobs where I wasn't paid as well. And I was so happy. And that really made a huge difference. And I was able to move up and progress and do more things. And I think that if we sacrifice at the beginning for our values, then it really makes up in the end, we're able to really live that fulfilled life.
Shandel Sutherland:
We have to align to those values. Yeah, the money will follow it. Exactly, not totally. In that next step Melanie is invest in them invest in what you're passionate about, and what you value. And D invest on invest in what you're not. I think the investment is key, because I think following your values and living a life organized around your values, takes energy, it takes time it takes resources, it's not going with the flow. No one really has your exact same values. And so when you find your own way, you're going to maybe hit up against some things and you got to really realize you got to invest heart into him. And no one you got to unplug from other ones. And I I think people get that for the most part. What do you think?
Melanie Montgomery:
Yeah, I absolutely agree. I had a client, Lydia, who was on our podcast. And one thing that we worked through is that she was saying yes to a lot of things. And a lot of times especially like in our indigenous culture, we say yes, that's just what we are. If someone asks us to do something we say yes. And so we don't always create those boundaries of what do I actually need and want in my life. And so one thing that we work together on is, what are we saying yes to that really doesn't bring us joy or help us succeed or help us in the direction that we're going. And what are those opportunities that if we weren't saying yes to these bunch of things that we're not enjoying, what could we actually be doing? And how do we invest our time really intentionally into what we value. And I think that was a big lesson for me. I've learned in the last few years of really figuring out what is it that you want to do, and that makes you happy and makes you fulfilled because I'm just a happier person when I'm happy and doing the things that I love. And we're all passionate about.
Shandel Sutherland:
That's a beautiful, you nailed that beautiful word. I love it.
Melanie Montgomery:
Yeah, I think that it's so important to invest in ourselves and really focus on what will bring us to the next level. And sometimes that's a new book, a new podcast, finding a coach, or bringing someone in to teach the team how to get to the next level. And really saying, this is important. Growth is important the growth of myself, my team, my organization, and I'm going to invest in those opportunities no matter what they look like.
Shandel Sutherland:
So right on, and you always know a value driven company, when they want to do that work, and loving. Alright, so let's move on to the last one. So the last T and commit is, trust yourself, you got to trust yourself. And I think there's no other way that you can really grow in the area of trusting yourself, except then to honor your values, and to live according to them. Because you're then living in integrity. And I think the easiest person to let down and to break trust with is ourselves. The organizers of this event in Germany, gave me the title of a blue commit to it and do it and I could do whatever I wanted with it. And so I took the do it. And I came up with how are you going to learn to trust yourself? What do you have to do in order to do that, and the D is the number one and it says you do not compromise, there is no compromise when it comes to your values. Now you're gonna get my off ramp, like we say, you might take a little hiatus, but you'll gotta on ripe for you know how to on ramp back right on into this cycle of healthy growth. When you realize you're you are compromising your values. And again, I don't want to put any shame on that. Because I think people can do that for hours. And they can do it for days, minutes and decades. And it's never too late to on ramp back into your values. You got to live a life of integrity where you don't compromise those values. And then the O 's orient your life around them. So what I mean by that is taking all these things that are coming at you in life and putting them in and that's kind of what our cycle is all about. But can you trust yourself to really do every day life living around them? Do you have anything to add to that? No. I mean, I think you see this every day.
Melanie Montgomery:
One thing that I would love to add is that it's easy to compromise our values on small things. And those things start to then snowball, and one of my values is being authentic and really telling people when something bothers me, is it something small? Maybe you and I are talking Shandel And you have a tone with me? And I don't say it, that's a small thing. But then the next time the conversation comes up, maybe it's a ton and then I mean remark, I still don't see it grows. And so we have to be really intentional about doing it on the small things and also having grace and compassion with ourselves when we make a misstep and just say I didn't do what I want to do, I didn't follow my value, I'm gonna circle back, I'm going to correct and then the next time I'm gonna catch this in I know so good.
Shandel Sutherland:
Right on. I love it. Okay, so do not compromise, we have orient your life big time. And then the eye is you got to stop, trust your instincts, you know, your intuitiveness your gut. And I think that's the reward of it. Like when you are in a place where you have oriented your life, you're doing the hard work, and you're not compromising and you're learning, you're trustworthy, and you're trusting others, you're gonna be able to make fast decisions. And that is where I think knowing your values is the best reward there is. decision making becomes super easy, because your values become the filter. If you run them through that filter, you just make good decisions, because that's what you're about. You get that instinct just tuned in where you go, Oh, that's not right. Ooh, that's right. Oh, that's great. I think that is just amazing reward. And the T is one of the key components of the process, which is truth telling. And the first person you got to tell the truth to is yourself. And I think that we do not keep our word to ourselves. And I give the example of if I'm okay, I'm
going to gym tomorrow. 6:
30am And then I get up and Scott goes, Hey, baby, I wanted to make you breakfast and I thought we could go for a walk. I'm like, Okay, I would never do that to you, Melanie. Like if you and I had a date to go to the gym at 615. I would never call you and say well, I got a better offer. I'm just not that person. And yet I will do that to myself. All day long. Therefore we end up going back up not trusting ourselves. So the first thing is you got to tell the truth to yourself, right? The second thing, you got to surround yourself with truth tellers. And boy, truth telling is one of our core values at Shandel Group. I know Melanie, I often come to you and I go, Okay, tell me the truth. Like, I want to know, right? And I trust that you will, and I go to my husband, he will tell me the truth, we got to have some people in our life that will tell us the truth. So the key in trusting yourself is truth telling. And those truth telling and trust is exactly the fuel that keeps you living in your values. And I think you need a team of people. I mean, that's one reason that you and I have clients, working with our clients, like they need us to do that for them until they become strong enough and have a group of people around that'll do it. And I know for me, I still need it. So that's what we're pretty excited about bringing people around the commit and do it.
Melanie Montgomery:
Shandel, I love what you said about we need to treat ourselves like we would treat other people. We've had this discussion before. When it comes to our internal dialogue, we can so often were mean to ourselves, and we beat ourselves up and we say mean things, I often will tell clients like, Would you talk to your daughter that way? Would you talk to your friend that way? But I think this gives that new dimension of, would you cancel on yourself? Would you let yourself down? And so really treating ourselves in every capacity, like we would treat our friend, and then asking ourselves that question as a self check. Like, would you do this to someone that you care about?
Shandel Sutherland:
That's so good, I totally believe in that, as we're telling ourselves the truth, it all fits together. So the commit and do it is it one, you're gonna live your best life, if you achieve your goals, you've got to achieve your goals. But your goals have to be based on the right thing, which is all of our process that we've been talking about this whole season. And that center of it is values, the C is you got to clarify those top five values, it's everything, organize your life around those values, make hard decisions to organize that life, Misery is going to be the sign that you have off ramped off your values, be aware of it so you can get back on the AI is 100%, investing in them, invest in yourself by investing in what matters most. And in that T is being trustworthy, and trusting yourself above others. And how you do that is to do at par and you got to do it. Don't compromise your values, orient your life around them. Instinct, that is the way you make those decisions with your gut. And then it's all about truth telling, tell the truth to yourself. Keep your word to yourself, and surround people that will tell you the truth. And Melanie, I really believe that when people go after it like that they'll reach their goals when it's all based on values. Now, back to our process, we now can get back to the third stage in all of this, now that we have even more tools to go after our morality, it's time to lay on this plane. And man, have we gone for a ride on this one.
Melanie Montgomery:
I appreciate you sharing your passion and the excitement, I can hear it as you speak and in your face of just how much you want to help others do this work. And I think about so amazing. That's one thing I really admire about you. I'm also really appreciative to talk about this commit and do it at this point. Because when we talk about the process, it's really how we grow or what cycles we go through what happens when we grow. But this is how do we take it into our hands and actually do it. So often. I have clients who say like I know my values, I know where I want to go, but like how do I actually take that and get there. And this gives that framework and that starting point to say this is how you start that process and really project yourself in that right direction.
Shandel Sutherland:
So right on beautifully said, I just want to let people know that I think they're doing that right now by listening to this podcast. They're investing in themselves. They're investing what matters because we don't talk about stuff unless it's really going to help leaders lead better. I just appreciate our listeners are over and over again. It's just such a joy to invest in you we can land this plane by having people if you go to Shandel group.com you can find out about our newsletter and subscribe. We really want you to be a part of this community because we're rolling out content all the time. And as we finish up, I would ask you to subscribe to our podcast, spread the word and leave us a review if you will. And more than anything else, we ask that you would be the best you can be.
