Shandel Sutherland 00:05
Welcome to Lead For Clarity where we help you, your team and your organization get to their next level with clarity, because we're going to focus on what matters. My name is Shandel Sutherland, and I'm here with my ever so lovely co host, Melanie Montgomery. Melanie, how are you today?
Melanie Montgomery 00:23
I'm fantastic. How are you?
Shandel Sutherland 00:24
I'm doing great. I'm so excited to have Lydia back.
Melanie Montgomery 00:27
Yes, me too.
Shandel Sutherland 00:28
Since we've had her on the podcast, the woman has conquered the world and had a baby. She has it all should be so Melanie, why don't you introduce Lydia?
Melanie Montgomery 00:38
Yes. So Lydia Faitalia is a good friend of mine. She's someone that I go to when I'm having a hard day, or when I need someone to uplift me or encourage me. I'm so excited to have her energy. And also just for her to share some of that with all of our listeners today. Lydia, do you wanna share a little bit more about yourself?
Lydia Faitalia 00:57
Thank you, Melanie, for that wonderful introduction. I am a working mom excited with a six month infant, a servant leader and just ready to dive into leadership with the two of you wonderful women. So thank you for having me today.
Melanie Montgomery 01:11
And Lydia, you forgot to mention that you just got a new fancy position.
Lydia Faitalia 01:17
Yes, I was just appointed to the chair of the Commission on Asian Pacific American Affairs here in the state of Washington.
Shandel Sutherland 01:29
Congratulations, that's a big win. Thank you, and you great things. And we are for you. And for all of that. Oh, that's exciting. Melanie, thank you for bringing that to our attention. I love it all. Lydia, you're just amazing. And Melanie, I know you and Lydia been working together in the past. And she's just kind of one of our star players because she is doing the work and getting the benefit. You can see it on her face. Look at that cute little face. But we really wanted to do here is we've already gone over the process, which is just a quick review. And Melanie, we put this in the show notes about the overview. So people can kind of see we're talking about a six stage process, that you can grow anything you can grow your life, your marriage, you can grow your business, you can grow your team, anything is going to follow this process of sustainable growth. And what it is, is your values are at the center, and then you go through it. Now if you're not going through the stage of healthy growth, you are in a different cycle, whether you know it or not, and that is the cycle of misery. And we often off ramp we call on to the cycle of misery. And that is when we're at the center, when it's about us, when we get focused on ourselves, whether our successes or our fears or our self pity, or whatever it is, we get centered on ourselves, we are off ramped on into the cycle of misery. And the beautiful part is in every offering, there's an on ramp and we get right back into the healthy cycle of growth when we're focused on our values. And Melanie, I think you told me some wonderful stories of Lydia and how that shift has helped her. So why don't you jump into that and kick us off?
Melanie Montgomery 03:10
Yeah, so I really wanted Lydia to come and talk through your values, because, and Lydia, you can share more about this and correct me if I'm wrong. But when we really dug into your values, and really put them at the center of everything. And always just constantly going back to that. That's when I really saw a shift in your priorities where you're investing your time. And I feel like that was that magic moment where everything else started to really fall into place. And so it really wanted you to share about that, because it really shows the power of knowing your values, and making every decision based on your values. And then during the struggle, just leaning back and saying here's what is important to me. So Lydia, do you want to share a little bit about your experience with having your values at the center of your life?
Lydia Faitalia 04:02
Yes, thank you, Melanie, I, I can't even begin to explain how beneficial this training has been for me. And so let me just let me just start with I am at the profit stage in centering my values. And one of my values that is very important to me is balance. And Melanie when you and I were doing the coaching and I was like I'm gonna invest in my leadership, we're gonna do this. I was all over the map. I was like this going on, but I was doing so well in work, but I was lacking in self care. And fast forward time as a mom with a six month old infant just got appointed to the chair of the Commission on Asian Pacific American affairs and ready to enter into the workforce for those of you who are listening, the profit for me is having so many people call me and say hey, come work for us. It's my phone is just ringing and that is because of Shandel and Melanie and their coaching on the importance of really centering and honing into your values. And everything aligns. everything aligns. And when it's uncomfortable, I lean into it, what does that mean? Am I compromising my boundaries. And so I find myself in this place of gratitude, because I am reaping the seeds that we've sown, but also the profits. And that comes from my leadership training and mentorship from Melanie through the Shandel Group.
Melanie Montgomery 05:32
That makes my heart so that your nonprofit stays because you've had so much hard work to get there to really center around your values. And I think at the beginning, sometimes you were a little centered around doing things and not that you were, you know, only caring about yourself, but that you weren't focused on what mattered most to you. And it was that wanting to be there for everybody, but not understanding what you needed for yourself. And once you realize that, then you're able to be there for everybody in such a more powerful way.
Lydia Faitalia 06:08
Thank you for that, Melanie.
Shandel Sutherland 06:10
So Lydia, tell me about the process of getting to really understanding those values and really trusting yourself and trusting others and and being able to maybe even do some truth telling along the way, what was kind of your journey to really get centered in and locked in on that
Lydia Faitalia 06:28
Shandel clarity. I'm a high I, for those of you who don't know I'm a high I. And I'm also steady across the S and C some other components of the DISC. And so I really took some time, I had some training with Melanie and some other folks to really like sit and ground myself in my values, but also unpack the uncomfortableness of leadership that women and I'm just going to speak from my own experience as a woman, it's really uncomfortable for me sometimes to say, No, I can't do that. Because then I'm gonna have to take time from fitness to invest in that. And so one is really getting clear on what my goals were really getting clear on what I my values as a child, what has worked for me throughout my entire life, but also centering it around authentic relationships, the spirit of reciprocity, and acknowledging when I do need to revisit my goals and my values, and that's something that Melanie has really helped me with was celebrating goal setting short, short goal setting and because I would just say I'm gonna do this, and, and I'm not gonna celebrate until it's done. And then I forget about celebrating and keep moving on. Right, as women, we're just, we got to keep going. And so shadow that is such a great question is always revisiting when you feel an inkling of uncertainty or uncomfortableness. And I've learned the difference in the am I feeling like this, because I'm feeling like a victor in my inner Victor situation, or I'm feeling like this because I'm growing, and it's uncomfortable to grow. And so I could distinguish the difference with the way I'm feeling of uncomfortableness and knowing the difference. And really going through the process of the six stages, has really helped me perfect my skill sets to work and be my authentic self, and bring so much power, but also so much value to my team so that they can drop thrive as well. That is what I'm focused on is I can't thrive without my team. So I need to make sure that I'm centered in my values. And that means working on myself.
Shandel Sutherland 08:51
It makes my heart happy to Melanie, because that's what we're all about, like if that's why we started Shandel Group, and then it's all worth it, Lydia in so many ways. I love what you said about and the word came to me confidence the way you felt when Hey, this is hard. Now is this because I'm all about me. And I'm saying basically yes to all the wrong things, or is this hard? Because living by your values is hard. There's a lot of peace and purpose in it. But you got to work hard to keep the values at the center. And now when you do the work to keep the values at the center. Everything is more peaceful. It's more confident. But there's that sense that you've got the distinction now, between dysfunctional and functional and I love it.
Melanie Montgomery 09:45
I remember Lydia a few really hard conversations and really hard things that you went through towards the very beginning of our coaching where we really talked through personal accountability and saying what can I do instead of letting ourselves be frustrated in situations which we were right to be frustrated in? And how do we take the steps forward. And I think that there were some really big moments at the beginning, that you leaned into your values. And it was so hard because that meant big changes, that meant you were really going to take that stand and do what was best for you. But I feel like once you went through that hardship, I saw you just blossom on the other side. And where I, as a coach was worried, like, Oh, my goodness, did I just give you terrible advice? And you know, did I just like mess up what you had going on? And then you were like, No, this is great. And then on the other side, it was just amazing and beautiful. Maybe you can share a little bit about leaning into that, especially at the beginning when it was so hard.
Lydia Faitalia 10:50
Melanie, first of all, that was the best thing that's ever happened in my life, in my professional life. So thank you, and Shandel Group for that. I was struggling when we first started our training, I was struggling with disappointing people. I was struggling with the way folks would look at me if I didn't carry all of the marbles in thrive, right. And then I was struggling with really confronting the issue. And after you after several coaching sessions with Melanie, Shandel I kid you not. I was like, I gotta go through it. Because if I don't go through it, I'm just going to keep going around it. Yeah. And it was the best decision. And I'm not telling you this, I'll tell you why. Because at the end of this situation, is the pruning and I'm still reaping from you. So I'm in the profit stage as well with this with this. So I had an issue. So the most beautiful thing is that I have the courage, I revisited my value. So it takes a lot of courage to wrestle the internal. So I had wrestled with it. And then I went through it, the situation happened. And then I visited that person. And until this day this person is so one of the best mentors in my life. And it was the best conversation and discourse he and I had to really work through and now Shandel I can work through it with whoever did in a positive and good way.
Shandel Sutherland 12:16
Yeah, Lydia, exactly what you're saying is that you have to have the courage. But when you do the hard work, would you already referenced correctly in pruning, that profit stage, which we don't all me profit is what a business needs to keep going. So we are talking about money, we are talking about an ROI. But more than that, we are talking about reaping benefits from hard work profit is you get out more than you put in. And when you put that courage in, look what you got. You got freedom from being in a cursed situation, if you will.
Lydia Faitalia 12:53
And some Shandel Oh, like I can't even begin to unpack how much your blessings I've gained from that. But my cup runneth over. Like I just can't, I just can't describe.
Shandel Sutherland 13:04
And I thought I feel like that is one of the things that I Melanie and I in the Shandel Group has always wanted for so many people is like, do the hard work. And that is why this process is so powerful. Because what happens is people hire us, and they start doing the work and they get into, oh, okay, I'm out of my pain. Now, I'm like feeling good. And now it's like, ah, you know, financially, we can't really afford you anymore, which, you know, I'm never going to argue with that, because I want people to be profitable. But what I find is that then they off ramp, and they don't go through the process. And so they don't have this glow that you have of benefiting not only financially which is always very important to keep a business going, but they're not happy seeing their people grow. They're not seeing their family, they're not seeing having a six month baby, getting all of these opportunities, and being happy and fit.
Melanie Montgomery 13:59
I'm wondering, Lydia, if you can talk through how this has affected your personal life as well. Because I know that when you got pregnant, which was a surprise you were kind of struggling with how do I have a baby be a mother work and juggle all of these things. We had a lot of conversations about those values again, and that you can do it all you don't have to choose one or the other and you can still be an amazing mom and have an amazing career. Do you want to share a little bit about how you went through that process?
Lydia Faitalia 14:36
Yeah, that was a painful for and something Melanie that you reminded me of? I think it was like our sixth or seventh coaching session on your you had said something about who we surround ourselves in our influence point of influence, right. And so I dug deep, I will never forget this. It was in the middle of the native Action Network legacy of leadership. I was seven months pregnant. And I was like, am I gonna go to work? How am I going to do this. And so I shared with some of the powerful women that I am surrounded with Melanie, yourself included, and you all gave some really good advice about being a mother and a professional woman. And I reached out to my matriarchs. And the powerful women in my circle, and I spoke with them, I said, this is this is what I'm going through, once again, working through that hard part. And they were like, well, baby said, we can't have you stay home, you have bigger things to do for community and for future generations to come get out there, get out there. And from seven months on, I, I don't have to worry, I have some of the best women in my life, not not a jab at our men, because there's, my brothers are very helpful as well. But it is around my values. It was the women that I that is surrounded by me that gave some of the best advice and also forced me to revisit my values and make sure that I stay grounded in those values.
Shandel Sutherland 16:05
What a blessing is having that community that is on board, and the you're in, like you said, you surrounding yourself, surrounding yourself with people that share your values so that you have help you have connection, you're seen. You're heard, you're valued, and you know that you're enough, and that you've got a purpose and a plan. There's nothing better than that. Thank you Shandel. Oh, Lydia, come back. You just have. I know I said that the last time. But nowadays, you know, she's got more in there. I wish our podcast was an hour at times, because I think we have to land this plane. I would just ask each of you as we do lay on the plane. What is one thing you really want our listeners to take away from this conversation? We love our listeners. And we want them just to say hi, yeah, this is the nugget I want you to have. Now they might have got another one, which is always really cool. And we'd love to hear those listeners. So Melanie won't be the one thing that you would really want people to walk away from this episode.
Melanie Montgomery 17:13
Yeah, one thing that I really appreciate about Lydia is that she's so genuine open to share what she's been through and what she is going through. She and I shared similar journeys of struggling to find balance and struggling to find real meaning and all of the things that we do, because we just were taking on the world. And I think that going back to your values and taking the time to figure out what matters to me. And then doing those things is so key. And having the vulnerability to sit down and question yourself and lean in and be uncomfortable, is so powerful. And then you can just see from Lydia, like where you can be when you do those hard things.
Shandel Sutherland 18:00
Amazing, amazing, Lydia, what's the one thing you would want our listeners to take away?
Lydia Faitalia 18:04
For our audience that are listening, the one takeaway that I would like to highlight on is the importance of investing in yourself and your leadership and growing your leadership skills, but also, how this training specifically and I'm sorry, I'm only I'm putting a plug in for you in the Shandel Group because I just really want to highlight how much has changed my personal life, my professional life, and just the way I deal on a day to day basis in the most authentic way. And so for those of you who are listening, it's worth it is worth you are worth it. Let me just say that you are worth investing in yourself, your family is worth it, and your career is worth it. And it's brought so much happiness. So I just want to leave that there. So, gratitude, Melanie Shandel. Thank you.
Shandel Sutherland 18:47
Ah, so sweet. Lydia, thank you so much. I look at that little six month old boy and that's the reason we do it. Right. It's for future leaders and future generations. Well, if you do want to invest in your team, that was the time we are in the end of 2023 headed right into 2024 and what a great gift to give to someone. What a great thing to invest in yourself is that 12 week coaching program with Melanie has just out of control amazing. And so Lydia, thank you for plugging that way. It wasn't planned but it was a blessing. And we always invite you to check us out Shandelgroup.com We've got a newsletter coming out that's going to be have lots of value. We've got to our daily quote you don't want to miss so everyone know that we are here for you. The listeners are the people we love and care about and we want to answer your question so send them in. And as always, we say be the best you can be.
