The Authentic Life Coach
I am passionate about life coaching and its life-transforming nature.
So much so, that I find myself feeling deflated when I hear how problem-oriented some coaches have allowed their coaching interventions to become.
Find wants and fill them
In marketing there’s a saying:
“Find the customers’ wants and needs – and fill them.”
Or, in other words, tailor your product or service to fit the gap between what your customer is experiencing and what he or she desires to experience.
Lack of understanding
Sadly (and we in the industry must take full responsibility) there’s a general lack of understanding amongst the public about what life coaching really is and what life coaches really do.
Most misguidedly believe it to be some form of mentoring or advice-giving service; a newfangled form of counselling, if you like.
Problem-fixing
It’s no wonder then, that most clients who are new to life coaching present with problems that they want help with solving or overcoming. And, in today’s ‘instant fix’ world, the quicker the better!
Worryingly, with the aforementioned marketing saying in mind, some life coaches are interpreting this as a sign that they should stray from the true nature of their calling and become what their uninformed clients expect of them to be.
What I call ‘transactional’, problem-oriented life coaching (you come to me with a problem and I’ll spend a session or two guiding and advising you on how to fix it, so you can ride off happily into the sunset) is becoming a problem in itself.
Unmasking opportunity
Authentic life coaching is transformative, not transactional. That’s what makes it so stunningly effective.
Whereas uninformed clients may present with a problem they want fixing, the authentic life coach’s job is to help transform their thinking and perspective, and in so doing expose the client to the opportunity that the ‘problem’ is masking.
“Every problem is an opportunity in disguise.”
– John Adams
By way of a simple example, imagine a life coaching client who approaches a coach for help with a problem of mounting personal debt that’s causing increasing anxiety.
The problem-oriented coach
The problem-oriented coach may try to take on the role of a financial adviser (one that they are clearly not trained for), perhaps suggesting ways that the client can cut their expenses, consolidate their debt, look for new income sources, and so on.
After a few sessions, having got the problem off their chest, and armed with a few new ideas, the client feels relieved and a little better about life … at least in the short-term.
However, without the necessary transformation of thinking, the client’s problem is likely to continue to dog them in the longer-term.
As an aside, have you ever experienced chronic muscle spasms? If so, you’ll know that a deep massage can offer short-term relief, but it’s not a long-term solution.
The opportunity-focused coach
The opportunity-focused life coach will take a very different approach.
The coach will start by listening intently while the client paints a downbeat picture of their current problem-laden situation.
Then, the coach will, metaphorically, bring a brand new canvas into the room, change the mood, and invite the client to ‘paint’ their vision of how great life could be if things were to change.
Agent for change
The authentic life coach is not an expert in managing finances and juggling budgets. He or she is an agent for change – an expert in helping clients shift their focus from problem to opportunity.
The authentic life coach is also not an expert in giving advice about the changes that need to be made, or the actions that need to be taken. He or she is an expert at understanding the change process and how to cultivate and promote the thinking and behavioural changes that will manifest the life desired.
The authentic life coach does not seek to transact with the client to fix their problem. He or she offers tools, techniques, and inspiration to transform the way the client perceives of the problem and then go about developing a plan of action to realise the opportunity that has been unmasked.
Transformational life coaching
Transformational life coaching, like turning a ship around, takes a little time. And time, of course, is money.
In today’s world, with the quick-fix mentality we are all accustomed to, it’s to be expected that this concept will encounter more resistance from new clients than the suggestion of a few sessions of ‘transactional’ style coaching.
But the authentic life coach owes it to their clients to promote the idea of transformational coaching.
Priceless
What price would you put on a six to seven-month investment in yourself that eradicates your limiting beliefs, revolutionises your thinking and behaviour and aligns it to your values, and then literally sets you up to live the life of your dreams?
You might say “priceless”!
Good news!
But the good news is that authentic, transformational life coaching is within just about anyone’s reach.
