Do you despise how self-care is always presented? I do. What if there was a better way to do it? You can embrace your creative life to improve your mental self-care.
So I’m not a fan of the self-care mantra. At least how it is presented on Instagram. But I do understand the need for moms to unplug and take the mental load off. That is where the creative life comes in, and you don’t need to be creative to do it.
If you cringe every time you think about self-care, then keeping listening. I'm going to give you practical self-care tips that aren't cringe worthy.
The Old Way of Mom Self-Care
There's not one moment I can specifically pinpoint, but every time I see self-care I really do cringe. I’m sitting on the couch drinking my coffee, scrolling through Instagram, happy to get 30 seconds to myself. I stumble across a self-care post and quickly scroll past. There is nothing about it that is appealing to me, at least how it is portrayed on social media (you know, if we are to believe everything we see). For the most part, there are moms who get it.
Pedicures and massages are fine occasionally but as a regular routine, they get kind of expensive. And not mention the amount of time involved.
But for this type A, highly-driven, and ambitious mom I hit a mental wall. I needed to figure out what to do with my stress because it was starting to overwhelm my entire body—physically and emotionally—I could feel it. It was in this moment of realization that I knew something had to change. But if pedicures and massages were beyond the reach of my budget and my time, I had to find another way.
How do You Feel About Self-Care
What do you feel when you hear the words self-care? Are you frustrated because all the other moms seem to get it. At least if you believe their Instagram feeds. Or has it just become one of those cringe worthy statements? We hear it, we cringe, and we just walk away.
When you look at your self-care routine or lack of it (I think that is the case for most moms…if we are being honest). Self-care just feels like the mirage in the desert. You can kind of see it, but lack of time, lack of funds and stress turn it into the blazing sun again. You are left standing there in this dry wasteland just needing a cup of cold water, but you never seem to get it.
Mom, let me bring you the cup of cold water. You can improve your mental self-care, and it has nothing to with massages or pedicures. It is all about your creative life.
My Journey to Embrace My Creative Life…and I’m not Creative
This past year I decided to take a journey. I want to try and live more creatively to improve my mental self-care. Full disclosure, it didn't exactly play out as I planned. But there was improvement.
As a homeschool mom of 6, running the entire gambit of ages. And a virtual assistant. And a digital content creator with a podcast, YouTube channel, published author, and so much more. I noticed something happening.
I was feeling more and more stressed (no surprise there), but I couldn’t always pinpoint a reason for it. My mind would tell me there was nothing going on, but my body would be in a state of complete stress. Then it would trigger a migraine. And these started coming more frequently. Which isn't helpful for a homeschool mom of 6 running two businesses.
I am sure there is some scientific explanation for this, but I don’t know what it is. I only knew that something had to be done.
How to Live a Creative Life for Your Mental Self-Care
Mom, if you want to control your stress, and improve your physical and mental health. Then learn to live creatively, even if you don't think you are. Does that sound too far beyond your reach? Give me a few minutes to silence these inner doubts.
You don’t have to wait to win the lottery, so you can totally give yourself over to creativity. Even though that would be really nice. Creative living can happen right now. Right where you are at. It just takes a few ingredients—courage, permission, persistence, and curiosity.
It Takes Courage for a Creative Life
It takes courage to be a beginner. It takes courage to try something new that you know you won’t be good at. This is the pursuit of the futile. But here’s the best part. You don’t need to be good at being creative. You just need to do it.
Do you have the courage to put aside your doubts? Do you have the courage to try something new? Do you have the courage to pursue the futile? Do you have the courage to look at the art supply store to see what is there? Do you have the courage to pull our your guitar and play really badly and out of tune? Just because you enjoy it. Do you have the courage to pull out your notebook and start writing? Do you have the courage to be a beginner?
Give yourself permission to be really bad at your creative pursuit. I know you don’t have enough time. You can’t make money from it. There isn’t a measurable benefit. Give yourself permission to pursue the futile just to appreciate the value of your own joy. That's what it means to pursue the futile. You are doing it for the benefit of your own joy. There is no other reason.
I will be honest with you. I am not an artist. You will not see anything that I draw or paint on social media. But I've come to the realization that it is ok to do it because I enjoy. There is no other reason needed. Give yourself permission to pursue something and be really bad at it.
A Creative Life Requires Persistence
It takes persistence to decide to be creative. You have to persist beyond the demands of reality to get lost in your creative pursuit. When you are completely absorbed in your pursuit, it will momentarily relieve you from your burdens. Or at least help you to put them in perspective.
I know this from personal experience. When I've stepped back and shifted gears from work problems or just being absorbed with my own thoughts. And I start to do something that is in the opposite direction. I am forced to get out of my own head and look at everything in a different light. It helps to puts things in a better perspective.
Curiosity is Necessary
The final ingredient is curiosity. Take a moment to be curious about the world around you. Look at it with wonder. Creative living is not about waiting for the creative lightning bolt to strike. And working in feverish activity while you have it. Curiosity will keep the creative juices flowing. Or at least spark them when you are ready.
Curiosity is one of those things that doesn't require anything from you except getting out of your own head and looking at the world around you.
Practical Creativity
Let me tell you about my inner creative. It is bound and gagged, and locked away in a closet. Every once in a while I hear it banging on the door to be let out. Occasionally, this hostage needs exercise, so I let it come out and play for a little while.
I don't consider myself to be creative, neither do I consider myself to be an artist. So I am not sharing this with you from that perspective. I am sharing from the perspective that my creative is bound and gagged and held hostage. Occasionally, I let it out on sabbatical. And when I do I can feel the stress leaving my body.
Living creatively doesn't mean you have to conquer it, be an expert at it, or sell it. It just means you are pursuing something for the enjoyment and pleasure of it. The pursuit of the futile.
Do you like art? Buy a book of impressionist art and flip through it. Get some color pencils and a sketch book. Paint along with a Bob Ross video. Or just watch it. His voice alone will relax you. Happy little trees anyone. There are no mistakes, just happy accidents. We need to hear this every now and again.
Experiment with different mediums to see what you like. I discovered that color pencils were my favorite medium. Not the cheap ones that you buy at the beginning of the school year. No, real artist color pencils. Once you use them, you will never go back to the cheap ones.
Do you know why I like them? They aren't messy. Yes, that is my favorite part. So my practical side still needs to keep my inner hostage in line. But that is how they get along. I use a medium that is not messy.
Do you play music? Dust it off. Are you an ice skater? Find your skates. Do you love to dance? Then crank up the tunes and bust a move. Do you want to write? Then get a notebook that inspires you and start writing.
See what it feels like to do something just for your enjoyment of it. Get started. You don't have to go out and spend a ton of money on stuff. Living a creative life is very practical, you just need to get started.
Creativity Leads to Success
Creativity doesn't just help you manage stress, it also leads to success. If you make mental self-care, creativity, and leisure a priority success is the outcome.
Bob Ross said, “Success with painting leads to success with many things. It carries over into every part of your life.”
That is a really big statement. Here's the thing. He doesn't say you have to be good at it, just successful. And success, when it comes to art, is defined by you.
Pursuing something creative will have a direct impact on you and what you do. Running a business, homeschooling, whatever you do. Creativity will have a direct impact on it because you are stretching and activating parts of your brain that you may not use on a regular basis.
We know our brains are like a rubber band. The more we use it and the more we stretch it the better it is. If you are only using the left side of the brain—linear, analytic, organizational side—then the right side, the creative side, can become a bit atrophied.
Deciding that you are going to persist in a creative life, it is actually going to draw on the entire brain. So those areas that you may not use on a regular basis, your brain will start pulling from those places as well. So you get a stronger brain. The more you use it the better it gets.
Our minds actually remember more from sketches than from words. So letting your hostage out will force you to use more of your brain…making you smarter. Sketch and write notebooks are a great way to use more of your brain. Or at least appear smarter. Who knows, maybe?
Taking a moment to disconnect lowers your stress levels, and this is probably the most important thing you can do for your mental self-care. Creativity also fuels your imagination, gets ideas flowing freely, and allows your brain to make connections. This will cause you to come up with better ideas, more creative solutions to problems, and you will be less stressed.
Conclusion
Mom, if you want to be your best mom self, then you need to improve your mental self-care. And creativity needs to be at the top of the list. This doesn't need to be a big deal. Just get a blank notebook and some good color pencils and just start.
When creativity becomes a habit, it gets easier to do.