Hey, welcome to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host and sober coach, courtney Anderson, and you are listening to episode 175. In this episode today, I'm going to give you three tips to stay sober this summer. This is a good one, you guys. We just got over Memorial Day and June 1st is upon us. If you need to come back to this one, come back to this one.
Speaker 1:
I have found summer is a very difficult one for people, but it has also to stay sober through. But it is also one that you should utilize. Out of all of the seasons, utilize it the most because of the nice weather where you can tap more into like hey, if you have a craving, you can go on a walk right. Like go, try to do something different than and put yourself more in nature than with the cold weather where it's just very easy to sit at home, okay, and the warm weather is such a trigger for so many people. It truly is my first summer I got. I got sober at the end, august 18th, okay, and a lot of people I know like a. I got sober in August 18th, okay, and a lot of people I know like a lot got sober in August. It's like we lost our goddamn minds that summer and then it was like, all right, we're done.
Speaker 1:
But I remember going into my first summer where it's like, okay, a lot of the old things that I used to do. It's like, what am I going to do now? But this is where you're going to start building the life of this new life for yourself, and you're going to build it. Build what you now want to do and what this new sober life looks like for you, because, remember, you are not going to bring everything that you used to do say, be hang out with from your old drinking self now into your new sober life. It just doesn't work that way. So if you're trying to, if you're trying to do that and it's like feeling impossible because it is you change as a person, right, like there's stuff that changes, and then there's a new identity that you have to take on and it does not align. What you're living right now it's not going to align with how you were living a couple years ago, because you're not drinking, so of course, it's not going to align. I'm currently I have gone through it too, and I have especially, too, in the past year it's like, okay, I'm not the same person that I was before I had a child, because shit has changed and I have changed and I have found this new identity as a mom and embraced it. So that's what I want you to embrace, this alcohol-free living, because the easier you can embrace it, I'm sorry, the more you embrace it, the easier it will be Okay. So I want to share these three tips to help you stay strong and enjoy a sober summer, because you can enjoy a summer.
Speaker 1:
Okay, tip one plan ahead. Summertimes are packed with social events barbecues, beach parties, going to the lake, going to a person's pool, concert series, all of that. So this is where you need to prepare. So identify triggers. Before attending an event, think about what might trigger a craving. Is it a certain type of drink, a specific group of people or just the party atmosphere in general?
Speaker 1:
Okay, this episode I'm almost running like a little mini workshop, like I do inside my sobriety circle. So I do have notes that I am reading off of because I wanted to get this right for you and I wanted this to be as most helpful. So I almost want you. You do need to do this work. I don't almost want you. I want you to do this work because I want to set you up for success. Okay, so if you need to go back, pause it, write this shit down and do it. So if you need to go back, pause it, write this shit down and do it. You can do it in your phone, write it in your journal, do whatever you need to do to process this information and do the work right.
Speaker 1:
Number two into this, bring your own drinks. This is perfect. We are now living in a world where it is the NA beverage company, or the NA beverage industry will be a billion dollar industry here in the next couple of years. Okay, there's a slew of non-alcoholic drinks out there, as always. My disclaimer if NA beverages like beer, mocktails, if they wines, if they trigger you, don't drink them. Bringing over your own soda water, bringing over even to if you want to bring over your own Coca Cola classic. Like, feel free, stop at a Starbucks, get yourself an iced coffee and bring that with you. Like it doesn't always have to be the NA option of beers and mocktails, especially if it triggers you. If it doesn't trigger you, go and have fun. Honest to God. And I'll link it in the show notes because I've started to put a list together because people ask me all the time like, hey, what's your favorite NAs or your drinks? So I will list it in this in the show notes.
Speaker 1:
I only truly enjoy beers, na beers in the summertime, in the wintertime, because I am like hot beverage girl all around in the wintertime, because I live in the summertime In the wintertime, because I am like hot beverage girl all around in the wintertime because I live in the pits of hell in Michigan that I need that warmth. It is like two degrees okay, so I don't really crave beers in the wintertime. But in the summertime my husband and I I like to kick it. I set up a little thing on our front porch this year and make it a little bit more cozy to get like sit out there after putting the dictator down and having an NA with him, like light a candle and now watch the sun go down right, because it's like in the wintertime we put the dictator to bed and it was dark out and you're tired by 745. So if they don't trigger you, have fun. But seriously bring your own drinks or at least ask the person who's throwing the party like, what are you going to have to drink there? Like if you're comfortable asking somebody that Number three in this have an exit strategy.
Speaker 1:
Okay, now, these one, two, threes are in the plan ahead. Have an exit strategy. The 60-minute rule go. I don't know what number episode it is in this podcast, but I did a whole. It's called the 60-minute rule. Go and listen to that. So in this exit strategy, if you only need to go for an hour, go for it.
Speaker 1:
If things get overwhelming, it's okay to leave. You don't have to stay forever and ever and ever and ever. You are not that person anymore, right? Especially if you're not feeling comfortable. So I was a person who always stayed till the end and now I'm a person who I'm like, okay, after a couple hours I'm good, like let's go home, I am ready to go to sleep by 1030 at night. So it just you don't feel like you have to have a pressure, that you need to stay. And I know here I know this is gonna it's probably popping in your head where it's like I don't want them to get mad at me for staying. Girl, you are grown.
Speaker 1:
We, at this point in 2024, need to get over that mindset of the people pleasing and putting people before you when in this, you come first. So if it starts getting triggering, leave, like I said, go back to the 60 minute rule, okay. Also, when you're planning ahead, this is much more. It's easier to navigate these social situations with confidence and ease. It truly is because it's like okay, I have a plan, I'm going into this.
Speaker 1:
And before you go into the social gatherings for the summertime, you need to also tell yourself three times I am not going to drink alcohol tonight. I am not going to drink alcohol tonight. I'm not going to drink alcohol tonight. And I say three because, like one, it's just like scratching the surface. Okay, take it in. And then, after you say those a couple of times, I then want you to think about yourself, waking up, hangover free tomorrow. You have to plan this out and prepare yourself and really prime your brain. Prime it so it sticks and you're changing around the thoughts going into this because you are a sober person, you're an alcohol-free person. Okay, hey, good people of the world, as you live your sober life, don't just count the days. Make the days count.
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 1:
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Speaker 1:
Number two build a support network. Right, this is my thing now for anything I talk to. Do you have a sport network Because you should, and you surround yourself with the right people that can make a difference in your life and keep you accountable and keep you sober and not just be like, oh it's okay, there she goes drinking again or there he goes drinking again. This is why it's important to connect with some sober friends. One, connect with some sober friends If you don't have them. If you connect with sober friends. One, connect with some sober friends If you don't have them. If you connect with sober friends, let me say this If you are okay or you do, because this is where not everybody is going to find a completely, 100% sober person in their life, or people who, if it's not a problem for them to drink right, because I have a lot of girlfriends where they don't have a drinking issue and how, when I quit drinking, it's like their drinking decreased a lot because then they started to have kids.
Speaker 1:
One of my closest girlfriends, I think she was hungover with her children twice and she was like I will never fucking do that again and even her husband was telling Matthew he was just like it is the worst thing ever. He was like and then you fucking sit there and feel like an asshole and he was like, and even her husband was like I don't really drink as much as I used to. So how my friends did it, it's like their life expanded in that way and it really they started drinking less. So if you do not have a person who is 100% alcohol-free, 100% sober, but drinking is not a priority to them. That's still fine to lean on them and I think that's perfectly normal. But I do understand if people need 100% sober or sober people in their lives. I mean, I get both sides.
Speaker 1:
So, planning out activities with this supportive friendships that you have, that don't revolve. Ranking right Like hey, go plan a hike, go get a pedicure, go to goat yoga, go ask for a walk, see if they want to get some ice cream Very innocent, right Like, and if you're fine, this is always a big one and I say this too. I recommended this in my book. If you haven't got my book yet, sober Vibes A Guide to Thriving in your First Three Months Without Alcohol is available now and I will link that in the show notes or you can get on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Thank you for letting me do my shameless plug.
Speaker 1:
Ask them for breakfast. Breakfast is perfect. Nobody is drinking at 9am, okay, or 8am. Ask for breakfast, it's innocent. Go out to breakfast. Join a support group Okay. This is the thing where you need to at least tap into this. Some people need to tap into a support group either every day or tap into a meeting or two twice a week or something virtually right. So there are support groups out there for you, either in person or virtually. Again, it's available for you, you just have to find which one vibes with. And two if you're tight with your family, lean on your family members. Let them know that you might need a little extra support, especially during these family barbecues. Or maybe to ask them like hey, will you guys not have alcohol there? That's perfectly fine to ask them like hey, will you guys not have alcohol there? That's perfectly fine to ask. Or you, if you're a mocktail connoisseur, you bring it Like hey, this barbecue, can we have fun with some NA beers and some mocktails? And I'll make them. Like all of this is possible and you can do it, and I'm sure the family members who are supportive will be like hell, yeah, let's do that. That sounds great, okay.
Speaker 1:
Number three in these three tips focus on self-care. I just did a sober tip Tuesday about self-care, and I believe that was two Tuesdays ago. So if you haven't listened to that, listen to that again. But self-care is truly, truly, truly going to help you stay sober. It's not just about avoiding alcohol, it's about also taking care of your own well-being, right? So, number one again staying active Walks. Let's do a lot of therapy walks this summertime. Keep it going. It's a great way to boost your mood. Even, too, you could go out and do bring out your weights, and you could go out and do that outside in the warm weather, or make it more consistent of going to the gym. You don't have to be in a gym every day unless you want to, and that's your thing, but three, four times a week, get some weights going and, ladies, as we age, we got to lift those weights.
Speaker 1:
Eating healthier add in a vegetable. If you're not eating enough vegetables a day, add in from there. Once you start eating that, you're going to start craving it more and more and redo your taste buds. I can't find the word of what I was trying to say there. But also to dip into the fresh fruits that are happening right now, take the seasonal vegetables that happen in the summertime.
Speaker 1:
Number three mindfulness and relaxations. Again, going back to meditation, some deep breathing exercises, sit in that vitamin D and journal your little heart out. Setting aside time each day to relax and reflex is going to be very beneficial to you. Okay, I also want to add in this. I'm going to add in number four to these three tips and know that if you wake up not feeling good, you don't have to go. It's okay to text the person throwing the event or whatever it was planned for that day that you don't need to go.
Speaker 1:
And again, sometimes putting yourself in these situations too soon's just going to keep you relapsing and then you're going to beat yourself up and being like what the fuck is wrong with me? And what is wrong is that you're putting yourself in a situation too soon. So that is where it's cool to take a little bit of a socialization break. Go inward if you need to. And again, if you wake up feeling and you've got anxiety, you're feeling low that day, your energy level is tanked because you just came off five days of a row working with the gen pop general population and you gave, gave, gave, gave, gave, and then you have this barbecue to go to, where you're not feeling good or don't feel like socializing. Don't think that you have to go, and this is.
Speaker 1:
It seems silly that I might be sharing this with you, but so many, especially women, put a lot, because it's very different between men and women. You put a lot, men and women. There's a lot of infatuation on the social side of your life, but also, too, there's so much that we take care of and how we process things that energetically you just feel like garbage some days and you just don't want to talk to anybody. So don't push yourself through that because you're trying to please your friend to show up to our party, where it will cause you to relapse. Just don't do it. Protect your energy. And I will say this too, where with number four of like, don't feel like you have to go If you are starting your period. Ladies, it is easy during that time, because we feel like shit, to then want to go out and drink. So how I and I will link this to in the show notes below in the flow you've got to read this book if you haven't about cycle syncing. It honestly changed my life. And now I truly honestly changed my life and now I truly, truly, truly understand, because I track my period too.
Speaker 1:
During that I don't plan anything, I don't. I don't Even with my work schedule. I'm like, okay, no podcast interviews this week. Nope, I'm not going to talk to anybody, because those first couple of days I feel like Oscar the Grouch living in the trash can. Is that his name? Was it Oscar the Grouch? I'm going to go look at one of the dictator's book I'm pretty sure it is. So don't put that pressure on yourself to feel like you need to go, be on point. And you're sitting there just being like, oh my God, like with massive anxiety, like I want to fucking go home. Why did I even come here? Why did I even come here? So if you need to sit it out because you are not feeling good, sit it out.
Speaker 1:
A lot of women I end up working with one-on-one and I don't think I've ever shared this before but what happens is is that a lot of women realize they book themselves, they have booked themselves too much on the weekends, right, and so when they get sober, they then they're like oh my God, this is like overwhelming, this is chaotic Because, again of what I told you, you are not going to be living how you were living in your active relationship with alcohol when you get sober. So, like all those events, you can't do them anymore because all you were doing was drinking yourself through them and that's usually how you got through them. But that's not the case anymore For a very, very, very long time when I learned this about myself from my own personal experience with just my energy levels. I'm good with one social event on the weekends. I used to do it where I would like Friday, saturday night, and then Sunday I was like, dude, I'm dead, I nothing. Now I don't have anything to give. And then that carried on with me on a Monday. So it's just you.
Speaker 1:
You got to look at your schedule to to balance that and protect your energy and know, like, how much you're able to give, because a lot of us are introvert, extroverts, or a lot of people who quit drinking too, realize that they're very introverted and they need that downtime especially too. You've got to think about it. Monday through Friday, you're doing your work, you're taking care of kids, you're taking care of your elderly parents. There's a lot going on. So you, my dear friend, need a day on the weekend to relax and just to breathe in yourself and decompress and not go. Try to be on point for all of these people that you might not give a shit about, right, that you just see once every July 4th, once every July 4th. So just take that in consideration of really truly protecting your energy and getting you through these weekends and these summer times, because I know weekends are a trigger and through the holiday weekends, same thing this year for 4th of July.
Speaker 1:
If you always went to your parents' house and they live on a lake and it was nothing but fucking getting blacked out and drinks, drinks, drinks. Try something different this year. Start making new traditions for yourself. Start making new summer plans for yourself. Start creating this new way, this new way of living that works for you and not a thousand other people. Right, new traditions are going to be amazing for you to start incorporating. And start doing this now, because when the holidays roll around, making new traditions for yourself in this life you're currently living is going to be way easier because you just did it through the summertime. That was a lot more than just three tips, but I really hope this helped you today.
Speaker 1:
As always, if you liked this episode, make sure that you rate, review and leave a review for the podcast and subscribe or follow the show and check out all the links in the show notes that I recommended also to all my free resources, my one-on-one coaching and my sobriety circle. The sobriety circle now is $25 a month because I decreased a couple of the meetings, so it's $25 a month and you can get your first month. Using code 2024circle at checkout, you can save $5 on it. Okay, so that's a private app. I do workshops in there that you have access to. There's sober check-ins. I share a lot of journal prompts and informations and personal development, so that is really a great hub for you to join if you are struggling with your sobriety, or up to your second year sober it is wonderful. So come on, join us and, as always, thank you for listening to the show. Keep on trucking out there, thank you.
