4 Tips for a Sober 4th of July

Episode 182: 4 Tips for a Sober 4th of July
 
In episode 182 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen shares four great tips on how to stay sober through the Fourth of July Holiday. These tips will help you in your alcohol-free journey.

What you will learn in this episode:

• 4 tips to help stay sober
• Staying home is always an option
• Focusing on other things besides alcohol
• Having fun in sobriety 

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Chapters

• 2:15 Staying Sober Through Summer Celebrations
• 18:35 Patterns in Holiday Celebrations

Transcript

Speaker 1: 2:16

Hey, welcome to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host, courtney Anderson, and you are listening to episode 182. Happy birthday America. Yes, birthday America. Yes. So this episode you are going to get another coaching one for me, because I wanted to drop this, since this episode does fall on the day that I drop it, which is 4th of July. Every Thursday I drop a new episode and my intention for the summer is to continuously help you with these episodes, these solo episodes of making it through the summer sober. So some of this might sound like repeat advice, especially if you've listened, if you are a loyal listener and listened to the last couple episodes of the Sober Vibes podcast with just me in it, but I want to keep this going, okay. So this might be the last one that I beat into your head of how you can get through this holiday and this holiday weekend coming up, because 4th of July falls on a Thursday. So we got Friday, saturday, sunday. You might even have Monday off. You might even have had the last couple of days off or took it off. So let's keep the party moving and have a sober summer, right? So these are tips to help you enjoy a sober 4th of July.

Speaker 1: 3:47

Fuck, yes, I'm going to say this before. If you are in the first of the holidays, welcome the first of that first year, of that first holiday season. It is hard, okay. So I'm not going to sit here and be like, oh, it's fucking easy Because, no, that first year for me it was difficult in the sense of it's awkward, it's uncomfortable and it's awkward to sit there through your first sober summer holiday, right, and be like, oh my God, this is what I should be doing. I should be out getting fucked up. I should be in a blackout by now, because that is what you have been doing for years. So the first one is going to be uncomfortable. So if you are currently uncomfortable in your own skin and don't know what to do with yourself, you are not the first. This is very, very common. You need to just trust the process, okay.

Speaker 1: 4:48

So before I give these tips, if you are not feeling it and you don't want to go to your dead as BBQ, don't do it. If, like, honestly, just stay home, take a knee. If you need to cry, cry. Allow those tears to come. You want to scream in a pillow? Scream in a pillow, right, but to keep you alcohol-free, you got to just do what's best for you to not put yourself into triggering situations, even to. If you're just not feeling it, it's okay to not go to these activities and stay. And if you want to party at your house in your bed and watch some Netflix or some Bravo or some HBO, feel free. Okay. If you want to stay in and read some books, cool. If that's going to keep you safe and sober, then do that, because this is all about.

Speaker 1: 5:46

If you want to live a sober, alcohol-free life, you've got to start doing things differently, and I know that firsthand. Again, I don't fucking preach what I have not done or do right. I mean still to this day. If I don't, if I'm not feeling it, I don't force myself to go do things anymore. That I'm just not. That I'm not about that. You know what I mean, so let's get into it.

Speaker 1: 6:14

Okay, I'm going to drop four tips for you to stay free and enjoy this holiday season. Number one bring your own non-alcoholic drinks. Bring them with you. Have your own variety pack of any beers, mocktails, coca-cola, classic, whatever it is. If you bringing something makes you feel better, then do that, even if you walk in with an iced coffee in your hand and you clutch onto that, then do that, because this is your rodeo and you need to do what's best for you. But I have found it where a lot of people and myself I've brought my own coldies, na coldies, with me and it has made me feel better and it's just a crutch for you, right, or it can help you through that.

Speaker 1: 7:04

And this is a debate. I've said it many times before If NAs and MacTales trigger you, don't drink them, and this is really a personal decision for everybody. But, like I said, you could go into a party with an extra large Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee. I'm picturing Ben Affleck memes with the Dunkin' Donuts in his hands in Affleck memes, right, with the Dunkin' Donuts in his hands. That little dictator better not wake up. Mama's recording a podcast, okay, okay. So bring your own NA drinks, even if it's just to like a big, big water, right? Just something I know to that first year. It's like you just want something in your hands to just kind of feel protected, okay, just kind of feel safe, because for so long in our drinking days we did hide behind having something in our hand. And you can do that again for a little bit with a beverage and any beverage, until you go to a party one day and you're not even going to bring your own because you're just going to be like I'm good with water and be very comfortable and confident in that.

Speaker 1: 8:15

Number two let's focus on the food. Let's focus on the fun. Maybe they have some yard games at these festivities, right? Maybe you are hosting the party and you focus on that instead of worrying if people think that if you're drinking or not, okay, put the focus on something else and where your energy goes, it will grow. So focus on food and fun. Shift your attention to the food and activities available. Enjoy the BBQ, join in on the games, watch some fireworks right, if you want to light them off, because your Uncle Larry is a little tipsy and you're like I don't like drunk people around fireworks, like I hate, I hate drunk people on fireworks. So maybe you take over and you're like let me just light these, right. Safety first, so keeping busy as well too in that.

Speaker 1: 9:07

Or like talking to the kids, like, if you're with your nieces and nephew, talk to them, hang out with the kids. I don't know why people don't focus on hanging out with the kids in situations like that, where it's just like it's so innocent with them and it's fun and they're clearly not drinking. If they're drinking currently and they're like 12, there's a problem. So. So when you focus, that will make you that and focus too on by going to this and staying alcohol-free. Challenge yourself to staying alcohol-free. I'm actually not going to wake up tomorrow, on July 5th, and feel like a bag of dicks. I'm going to feel good. I am not going to wake up in another holiday weekend and that shame, guilt, anxiety ridden like hangover feels that I have been doing for so long. I'm actually going to wake up and kick ass at life. Currently, whatever that looks like for you, bring a friend, bring a friend, attend events with a friend who also maybe wants to stay sober. Or an accountability partner of yours and be like, or them having them hold you accountable right. Maybe you be the DD, be like I'll drive right. So that's a good one.

Speaker 1: 10:30

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Speaker 1: 12:03

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Speaker 1: 13:17

Having a like-minded person there with you can provide support, and that's what we need more of. Is that support, even if it's your sister or your brother or your mother or your father, like who, whoever it is? Just hang out with a person at a party, at these festivities that support you, because there's somebody in the mix that does and usually too like just or a person that you feel safe with. I'm trying to say as well, because that will help you for sure. And number four, my favorite plan, an exit strategy. If you find yourself in a situation where you start to feel uncomfortable or tempted, have a plan to leave early, okay, drive yourself or arrange alternative transportation so you can leave when you need to call an Uber. Right, if you're going there with your husband and he wants to stay longer, be like, cool, I'm out of here, so maybe you can take the car and then your husband can Uber back, right, or whatever the case may be. But that's also, too, where the 60-minute rule comes in this whole equation.

Speaker 1: 14:24

I don't know what episode of the podcast, of the library of podcasts that I have, of these episodes, but there is one that it's called the 60-minute rule. I think it was in season three, but listen to that. Here's a recap. You go somewhere for an hour, you dip in, you dip out after 60 minutes. That's a good time for mingling, and then after that, it's like you know what my social tank is full. I felt like I've participated, I looked, I got ready, I looked cute Like this. This is fine.

Speaker 1: 14:57

And now it's time for me to go home, before I pass my personal threshold of feeling uncomfortable, where I'm going to leave and crying and have anxiety and all of that. So, like, don't push yourself that far right. Like, or if you have kids, here's a good one. Use the kids as an excuse. Like, we got to go. Little Timmy didn't take his nap today, so we're going to go because he's got to go to bed early. Like, you can fib a little, that is no problem. Fib a little to protect yourself, trust me.

Speaker 1: 15:33

When you get sober, you don't need to be honest with everybody right off the bat. So use a 60-minute rule and then, if you're feeling good after an hour and you're like, you know what I want to stay 30 minutes more. Then, every 30 minutes, check in with yourself and be like am I feeling good or is it time for me to go? Am I starting to feel a little anxious to go? Am I starting to feel a little anxious? You are your compass and your feelings of what is comfortable for you. When you start getting anxious, though, that is when I suggest you then be like okay, I've had enough, it's time for me to go and pack it up and leave.

Speaker 1: 16:14

But again, all of these tips are supposed to help you get through this holiday weekend, sober and still participating. But, like I said at the top of this episode if you are not feeling it, you are not feeling it, don't push yourself. Don't push yourself if you're like I just have nothing to give today. If you're in that state of mind, then don't give, because oftentimes, when you're in that state of mind and you push yourself to go participate, that is when relapse really can happen. And then you're saying to yourself the next day after you decided to drink, like I should have just stayed home. And that is where you have to start trusting yourself. And that's going.

Speaker 1: 16:57

Same thing with if you're at the party and these this holiday weekend. If you're somewhere and after an hour and a half, two hours, you're just starting to feel like I'm ready to go, it's time for you to go. Then, and I'm going to say this don't be like well, they all feel bad that I'm leaving. No, no, no, no. You're fucking 36 years old. Who gives a fuck if you leave a goddamn party? This is you, are an adult and, trust me, they have 50 other people there to entertain. It is quite all right. The host of the party never wants anybody to leave because it's their party. So it has nothing really to do with you. It's a them problem, not a you problem, and you are a grown ass bitch ready to go home.

Speaker 1: 17:48

Okay, I say that with love. You guys know that I dropped the B word with love. So stop people, pleasing, stop doing that, because right now it's about you and protecting your sobriety and continue on with your alcohol-free journey and getting through this holiday weekend of 2024 sober. That is what's important, not fucking watching Uncle Larry doing the most with his fucking Coors Light and his firework show, because that gives you anxiety and we just don't feel like watching it this year. Okay, you've watched it for 25 years, you've partaked, you've been a part of it and it just doesn't do anything for you anymore. Okay, not when you're trying to quit drinking alcohol and you are in the sober life.

Speaker 1: 18:35

And then I say that too, it's just, it's. This isn't a judgment against your Uncle Larry, right, but it's just the truth. It's the same thing over and over and over again. It just looks different because there's a different season behind it of like the summer. Right, it's the same thing at Christmas. You're not going to miss out on anything new, because it's been the same for years and I guarantee if you reflect back at these festivities, you'll see a pattern, and it's the same pattern that happens every year. All right, I hope this episode helped you today. Again, happy birthday America. Everybody, stay safe out there. If you are needing extra help on your journey, please join the sobriety circle and, to my self-guided next level, sober support. You can find those links in the show notes below. Check out our sponsors and we will see you next week. Keep safe and keep on trucking out there.