StayTuned Podcast
StayTuned Podcast
S3 EP:3 Who's That Girl!
Who is Veronica? Author, Creator & Host of StayTuned Podcast. Listen is as our guest host, Rhema; takes a dive in to find out who this girl is, all the details on the creation of the book, photography, the podcast, and whats next!
So everybody has experienced pain. We all know what it feels like. But the question is What do you do when you're going through that experience whether it be death whether it be a loss of a job or whether it be a loss of a child or just in general we all know what it's like. But I wanted to provide an environment where people could grow where they can be truthful and where it be insightful because not everybody is alike. But the bottom line is that we all can identify with each other. So I wanted this place to be a spiritual place a place filled with love and hope. Because even in your darkest times we all need something to look up to. So.
Speaker 2:Stay tuned. Good afternoon welcome to this day. Podcast takeover.
Speaker 3:That's right you heard it's a little different today. My name is Rhema Halevi Joseph, know your name, know your destiny people. So what today is about I'm saying take over because we've been working on this for a very long time. I know you all know your host V, Mrs. Veronica, Vera or whatever you want to call her, depending on who you speaking to. What we wanted to do for a very long time is we wanted to get up close and personal. With V, and know her to the core. She's been with you for three seasons but I figured it was time for us to get to the nitty gritty. I'm nervous about what's really going on when you speak to people. People love you they enjoy feel it's time to grow. OK. OK. Yeah.
Speaker 4:I have no idea whats in store you guys, none. So this is exciting. So how does it feel to be on the other side of the table? If feels awkard.
Speaker 5:It really does. Like I am nervous now. I asked Danise. You know what she had planned. Of course she told me it was none of my business. I do know that like she said she wanted to dive more into who I am as a person. You know just you know this you guys opportunity to find out what makes me tick.
Speaker 6:So yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 4:Well first of all I want to say congratulations is seething. Thank you. This is exciting you guys. So I know we're going to talk about that. So between Season 2 and 3 a lot of. Absolutely. I have had a summer break. It's not really a break right.
Speaker 5:Right. Right. All the things that you guys didn't know about on the on the other side of it.
Speaker 7:Yes.
Speaker 8:So one of the first things that we're going to talk about that he's been working on and some of you may know is she's written a book. Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 9:I just realized that I had the right to be excited about that or just to be happy about it and that it was OK. I'm really conscious on not being a bragger. So it makes me feel weird like Oh OK yeah you wrote a book I'm like you know what color is the sky the sky is blue. I say it's like it's so a matter of fact but it's actually a big accomplishment. I just started to say to myself you deserve to be happy about that so I'm excited. It's a long time coming.
Speaker 2:So yes we will segue right into this. I have four right here right. Yes. I'm looking at this cover right here. This is like you know that was me girl you just look so beautiful thank you. We had like peeking visually right where you could see right. That time will come. Yes. As we move forward. Yes. But I'm looking for Veronica. I'm like why.
Speaker 9:So to give you guys the real story my writer Beyonce her name is Janine Daniels. She is the writer and creator behind this story called that guy which is a big YouTube story. With this company called Black and Sexy TV and a friend of mine named Rashad Schnatter Rashad Beckett my dead end job as I keep saying all these great and positive people. Denise is included in that he told me about this show. He was like Yo you should really watch this. This production company is called Black Sexy TV. It's like Netflix for black people. You should check it out on YouTube right. And so this is like this is six or seven years ago because Charles and I had just started dating. Ok cool I'll check it out. And pretty much. I fell in love with her style.
Speaker 6:Her hair was super short so I was all up on it like yes like you were walking in this water hole. And I go from Mandalay yesterday it was a reality check.
Speaker 10:We don't get follow here we get four for one week and then a winter. And so yesterday my head was actually cold so I will make sure I keep a little bit more hair on top from now on out just to be on the safe side because it was cold. But I started watching Black and Sexy TV and I'm like Janine I liked her style and they had like little inserts of small commercials that they would do in between shows. And I got a chance to see her. And then I started following her on social media. Well about three or four years ago I reached out to her and I said Hey. Because I followed her on snap chat and I would actually write to her or say something and she would respond back.
Speaker 11:You were about to say was that it.
Speaker 9:So it was funny because I started calling her my right or Beyonce. And I said you know what I'm going to send her a piece and I'm going to see you know just from a writer to another writer. What does she think. And she said she emailed me back. I have not deleted the e-mail. I have the e-mail still to this day.
Speaker 10:And basically she was like I love your work but what you need is she she was telling me to go to another person's social media that she's really close with this Avella girl that she worked with and this person is like artist she's she's a writer she's a poet. But every time she has something that she writes she always displays it visually. So she was like that concept because your words are so deep sometimes people can get lost in that type of translation. So bring forth another translation which is the visual part of it. What is it that you see behind your words. What are you trying to portray. And so I was like Absolutely. And that that was made me like.
Speaker 9:Like I said I was three or four years ago and so now getting to the point I didn't know what these visuals were going to look like.
Speaker 10:But I just knew that it was necessary and that it really be the driving force behind whether or not somebody gets exactly what my piece was about because it's kind of poetic. It's kind of prose is kind of just I'm writing. So you don't really know what you're going to get but the picture helps to paint that visual thinking kind of caters to the way people process lives.
Speaker 7:And so you have your words in your picture.
Speaker 9:Yeah yeah. And then another part that part point of it is that you know somebody can say something and you can walk away with five different absolutely. Absolutely because everybody interprets differently.
Speaker 8:So yeah. So I'm I'm looking in here and I see the beautiful.
Speaker 3:OK.
Speaker 9:What are these higher morals who are now these people or are close friends people that God is literally put around me strategically. Each person in that picture. Well actually now you guys haven't seen the second part of the shoe but there is a picture that I did post on on Instagram and it's all of us and all white and it's all of those women. Each one significantly has played a role in my life. Some some of those people got just brought into my life just recently. But I asked and they were willing. None of these people are professional models. But I mean the images and the beauty behind it was just amazing. It was more than I could have ever asked for so in my mind yes they are professional models.
Speaker 8:So I'm moving here in the fall the book is water or chocolate chocolate. What does that mean. What's the background story.
Speaker 9:Honestly I don't remember with the girls thanks for that. It's something sweet. It's something fluid. That's what it means to me when I thought about myself and I don't like to think about myself.
Speaker 12:But when I thought about what it meant to me that the collection of all the pieces is sweet it's fluid it's timeless like you know it quencher thirst it's about water it's about truth.
Speaker 13:Yes you know and so that's what it is to me. Yes. For.
Speaker 7:You're doing something very unique here. On the first page there's a dear reader. Yes. And that kind of leads me back into because there's something that you said here I'm going to read your words back to OK. And it says I was given the instruction to write something specific to you. Yes my reader.
Speaker 14:OK. I want to know about that instruction.
Speaker 9:Yes. So before originally the way that the layout of the book was supposed to be started in my mind my plan was to put all of my pieces in the book from start to finish. And it was a collection of about 20 pieces but I felt like it was too sad too dark to have all of that in one sitting in one place at one time so I said OK I need to break it up. And I said well seven pieces would work. But really I don't even think it's seven. It's probably a total of just six of my own personal pieces. And then the introduction in putting a book together there has to be each page serves a purpose. And so I to my introduction to my reader to be like on a personal level.
Speaker 12:So I really prayed about that and ask God for what it was that I was supposed to say and is like look I need you to know that through all the darkness and painful parts that you may see within the book that you may feel within the book that there is light and that God is there you know even in those moments where you don't feel like he's there. I just wanted to let the reader know like I identify with that and that it's important to you know know know how to move from from start to finish. You know regardless of how the situation may look this is how we'll move from start to finish. OK. Identify that there's a problem. Make sure you have the right people behind you. Make sure you have correction. Make sure there is order. I mean because it's a continuous thing you know and you know trauma and all that good stuff like you never not have to deal with it. It's just a matter of how you cope with it. So I just want the reader to know like this is what has happened with me. But specifically this is how he's ordered Musbah my steps.
Speaker 14:Your question Why now. Why now. Why now.
Speaker 10:What's important about year 33 which is the crucifixion. Year 33 was tough.
Speaker 13:It was it was tough to my body tough to my mind tough emotionally.
Speaker 15:Charles and I went through something traumatic trying to help out a family member but we rose from it. There was a Rex or a resurrection from it a restoration from the aunt coming into year 34.
Speaker 9:You know I always I kept moving creatively but February for some reason I don't know why it was significant to me. But February was a good month and I remember at the end of February getting a phone call from the photographer who might I add is not a personal friend of mine. She is a friend of a friend that I went to high school with. OK. But it's just God being God. You know you make connections with people and we have stayed connected for years. You know we've spoken for years and so she called me and says hey God has given me the directive I need to do. She usually has every six months or so she'll have a photo issue in a different city and it'll be titled Our Holiday. With these few women maybe five or six women right. They'll they'll have the shoe and keep it moving. She said I want you to be the creative director for this shoot. And I said Well you know. I've never done this before. I don't know what it means to even be a creator of anything. I mean I know what it means to be a creative and my mind you know but to actually find while having to share. Now my god you want me to. She literally said God gave me the directive. He told me that you are supposed to get these women together. OK. I don't have a limit on how many you need to get together. I just know that I need to do the photo shoot there. Raleigh. Boom you create the theme behind it because each one of her shoes are themed and there you go. And by the time I really thought like when I got off the phone with is this really happened. Yeah. What do you mean. And so I processed it. I remember the first person to text was mail like oh my god she yaura that's her name she asked me to be her creative director for her next photo shoot like I never even had a photo shoot. You know to put together so why would she trust and interest me with this. But you know God doesn't make any mistakes so we got it together. And I mean I remember calling her like you know what's the limit. She said. I mean as many women as you can get. So when she got here and she saw how many women showed up she said Veronica. Like first of all she never shot a group that big. So she was just like what I mean in this setting what all these people showed up here and like you said at the book launch it was cold.
Speaker 2:You know it was coal March 30 first about 30 degree yes sunup to sundown sunup to sundown.
Speaker 14:So yeah that's amazing. It is. I'm looking at the cover and it says.
Speaker 7:See I know somebody said more. That means your life is fine. So is it safe to say that your life is in the pages of the book. Yes absolutely. These are my memories left because if you say something in that same part where you're saying Dear Reader. OK. And it says that your path purpose are in the realm of pain.
Speaker 14:Yes endurance in restoration. Talk about this a little bit. OK. So you're saying pain. Yes.
Speaker 11:And that kind of connects me to something else that you said it said forgiving myself in the hope that the people or persons whichever is right or I don't know my grammar just went out the window the right people are right and you know that cause you harm.
Speaker 2:Right. For soccerball. You said that your life is in the book. Could you go to a lot of things and I think people don't really know you something. I mean you're a person. All right I just want to dive into that world. So when you say your pieces were dark prior to this book what kind of painting are we talking about here.
Speaker 13:They're all pain. You know I know what it feels like to be abandoned whether or not it was a family member you know or just feeling the need to feel secure having family members that are supposed to be there to protect you not protect you.
Speaker 12:You know I've met and I've been abused physically abused sexually abused whether or not you know those were family members who had done that to me or you know cheated on.
Speaker 13:I mean some of the same stuff that people have gone through. But I just know that everybody copes differently and people make it out of the situations differently you know. So that's what I talk about with the pain realm. You know God wanted me to go through those things. I know that now.
Speaker 12:And let me also preface this by saying this what I'm about to say I have had to come to a level of maturity to understand that those things happened and they were allowed to happen to me because he knew that I would be at this place in my life. He would not let those things happen to me if he didn't know if he knew that the outcome was going to be detrimental because I could have made a different choice I could have had a different decision. One time I could have ended up in a different place and I always say I thank God for my right mind because after everything that has happened to me I don't. I'm not using other things outside of him to cope whereas for a lot of people they find comfort in their food they find comfort in you know drugs they find comfort in people. And I've gone through all those things. I've just reached a place where I don't need those things anymore. So you know not everybody can say I went through those painful situations so I can be able to connect with some of those women who are in the book. Like all those people who have them are in my life in this book have been violated in some possible way so we can definitely say so.
Speaker 14:Correct me if I'm wrong. So all these different women in the book as you meet them a lot of them I think it's work school different events through other people like that.
Speaker 7:So were you basically assigned these women do you think they got assigned them to you and maybe going through what you've gone through in life you become sort of a subject matter expert maybe able to pick up any and figure out what's going on with that person.
Speaker 9:You want me to be honest. No what this makes me have to pay attention to myself.
Speaker 13:And once again I say that I have a hard time with it like as much as I do and for as much as I'm in the forefront of these things that I have going on I don't like the attention to be on me which is kind of odd. Like it's hard for me to accept compliments and stuff like that. I know we've talked about that before and so that's a lot. I do recognize that God has done that. Everybody's Asama is different I think this just a matter of saying like hey you know you can make this right you absolutely positively can't make it out of this like out of any situation that was painful dark terrible like ugly moments. I've been that lady there was standing outside her house looking crazy because I found that he was she in like I have been that lady you know I've been lied on I've terrible things. And so. But at the end of the day I realize that I will not allow those things to have power over who I can be because I have a vision of myself and I don't I don't have these things written down. I just know that they're supposed to be somebody who is humble and sweet and solvent and loving and caring. And you know I don't there's I'm not bitter I'm not angry. I don't I don't I'm not wearing that stuff. And I will not allow those people who did those things to me to make me that way I want.
Speaker 14:So you become a helper of sorts. Right.
Speaker 16:Like I'm living proof I'm living proof in the flyer that you overcome. Right. So you sort of become their helper and hold you if you will. Yes sort of what they hear.
Speaker 9:OK you know come out the other side. Yes I saw totally believe that people. Who is it Charles. And I think Z. I mean other people have picked on me about this but I just love love in all realms of whether or not it's me showing you love or you know a relationship and love like I love love.
Speaker 13:I love the connection behind it. Everything about it and so I just believe in love. I do.
Speaker 17:I absolutely believe in love and I believe that I believe Veronica loves all ways. So all the various love I think there's like seven. Don't quote me on that.
Speaker 6:So if you say so.
Speaker 17:There were types. Right. So and I think that you show every single one of them. So we would just segue right into the book looking at this first piece straining it says shift like crazy. Let's talk about this man list. OK.
Speaker 9:So this is great.
Speaker 15:So the first piece just like crazy is just about how you have two people who have been created by God. OK. And you know they are in this tug of war basically fighting for this relationship that is not supposed to be you know and it's about basically reliving your pain over and over and over again.
Speaker 13:But the person who is the cause of your pain you stay with that person over and over and over again no matter what the situation is whether or not you've been cheated on you've been put down made to feel like you're not worthy. For some reason you stay. And so that's what that piece is about.
Speaker 15:Just like crazy like you know like I say in the third sentence it's we're at this game of tug of war but we're vying against each other for supremacy.
Speaker 9:So somebody has to be the higher up and it's like hey remember me remember me. But at the same time you're trying. You say you're done and you try to walk away. You effortlessly walk away like you're not really trying you're just. You're saying that you're done. You know you have those conversations with the males I was like girl you know he ain't nothing he hate this and that and you know I'm sick of him doing this to me and I'm just gonna leave you never do because you never really put any effort behind it to really leave because you feel like you're worthy of that you're worthy of that kind of love you're worthy of that kind of relationship. So you stay. And next thing you know a year has passed by five years and in my particular situation and then you end up marrying that person even after you leave them for a year or two. Because once again you go back to this crazy situation. So it's just like crazy just doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome.
Speaker 18:They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again.
Speaker 19:No. And that's because at the end of the day you can't you can't change a woman and you can't change a man because I know the saying is you can't change a man. But I realize I have a lot of strong women around me too. And they have to. Unless you make up your mind to do something different. That's the only time they're going to do something different. People in general. You cannot make people do what you want them to do. They have to make a decision to make a change. So that's what that is about that entire relationship.
Speaker 17:This is the second piece I just love it references what we were talking about in the beginning when women were dressed all in white yes. There and they had their hands on her shoulder.
Speaker 13:Yes. Tell me about Leslie. Lastly you know was so funny so I had such an encounter while putting the book together. That's another reason why you guys only got like six pieces. OK. Because I realize that some of my pieces that were written about love was really about my relationship with God. So lastly is a piece that I wrote originally for my husband and this is while we were together Charles. However once I looked at it over and over again I said God I'm talking about you.
Speaker 6:And he's like you are OK. So I wrote this with it. You know I just want to let you know it was cute that you thought you wrote it for your book but you can even give it to them.
Speaker 20:But now I realize that in talking about this love I'm talking about the love that I have for God the kind of relationship that we have. I permit my heart to be submerged in this ordained in luminous Love God is luminous.
Speaker 13:You know all these impurities from my character. They only only we care about that all gets lost in translation and fades. And so all the things that I've dealt with it goes past my own understanding which is that in that fourth sentence or the third sentence I'm sorry paying a measurable Sikh's past my own understanding. That's how I had the ability to say hey those moments were so painful for me and they were they were. But now that I have an understanding about it I know that I went through that for a reason.
Speaker 14:It's amazing how we can have you know various people in our lives and each you know exhibiting a different kind of love. But at the end of the day that first truth you know personification of love is gone. It is right.
Speaker 18:And it's amazing how you're able to think that you writing for how it was able to serve the purpose correctly. Yes. And now that you share that comment I read it. But it's amazing to talk to the author right inside say oh can I see words coming.
Speaker 21:Yes. And you know what. It's like you said that serve many purposes. I actually use this piece I actually tweaked it a little bit and mail my best friend. She had me write a piece she wanted a piece for her wedding day. And this is actually one of the pieces that was recorded. And so I tweaked it a little bit for her and her husband. But yes it serves many purposes.
Speaker 20:So yes when she walked down the aisle right before she walked down the aisle life lastly played over the intercom and the church so that was pretty dope because everybody was like she was you yes girl that was me. So yeah. Leslie Leslie means a lot of therapy for this.
Speaker 14:I pray for when I read this piece I read a couple of times and I felt like it was a coming to moment. I feel like OK I've traveled this Earth I've been through many things right. And it's like I said oh I knowledge.
Speaker 22:Oh OK. All right. Is that correct.
Speaker 13:Reflection I wrote this piece right after leaving my ex husband. Yes. People have been married before. I mean it's the most terrible decision of my life. No. I got married when I was 24 years old to this. What are the words that I want to say because I have so many. The best way to say it is I married this guy who was not the right person for me but at the end of it I wrote this piece to say hey like I see you I like I see myself.
Speaker 21:I see you I see who you are. I see what you can be.
Speaker 13:Some of the things that he told me about myself that were good and bad mainly in this piece the good parts of me that were true which is that I'm a loving person.
Speaker 21:I'm a living person and he kind of envy that.
Speaker 13:But I had to remind myself hey remember who you are. Remember who created you. Who. Who are you. People are not drawn to you for no reason in particular. People are drawn to you for a reason. And so this this piece was kind of meek a coming out piece I posted it on Facebook after I wrote it and it was just to say hey I'm here I'm in one place I'm whole I can see myself. And it doesn't look like what this person has been saying that I am like yeah I'm going to skip over.
Speaker 23:OK. You're sweet. This is worth every yes you can get the drift from that. Yeah something for the people. Yes it definitely does get to the middle of the book. Yeah.
Speaker 14:And I see beautiful women mural flowers.
Speaker 2:It's just amazing. I think it's in downtown Raleigh. Yes. Right. When you were going through the process you and I had a conversation and you were getting visuals prophetically us to different places to do the actual photo.
Speaker 14:So you know these women and I see flowers. Right. And then that brings us to the piece that goes with it. Here is our. What is this about all these women.
Speaker 24:So one woman in particular but she's a reflection of all women which is male. I wrote this piece about Melle Mel's testimony is amazing. But to say the least to sum it up. I wrote this piece about six years ago when I was working for the session magazine. I was a contributing writer and I wrote this piece about male after talking to her and that was that person that you you can get all of her just some one sitting. I had known her for years and didn't know her testimony. And so at this point in time we had one of those deep conversations that she's explaining to me. You know she grew up in a two parent household. But she had had a baby when she was 17. And so you know through this out throughout this time her parents were upset. You know like normal parents would be that were raising her in a fight at this time and it was a. Baptist Church home pretty much they were very strict about what she heard what she saw. You know the type of people that were around her but yet she got pregnant. And so you know I know it was a hard time for her and her parents but they got through it and you know her daughter just turned 16 years old and everything that the world says about being a single mother and the hardships or the negative light that is painting the kids being a single mother. She absolutely was the opposite of that. She absolutely she. I mean she soared against all odds. It doesn't always happen like that for everybody though. But it's because you know throughout that entire situation she's always had support.
Speaker 25:And she is a God fearing woman.
Speaker 24:She's always you know had a relationship and prayed and God has something special for her life she said that God blessed her with her baby because he knew that the next year she was going to college. And it was going to be I think she said she was going 80. She said he knew that I was going to go out there and lose my whole mom. So he gave her the baby to slow down. Mariah pood basically pulled the reins on her and made her slow down and pay attention and so she said her life has been different ever since then.
Speaker 9:And so you know went to college some Komati like you know me and is making great money and is in a great career. She loves what she does.
Speaker 13:And I mean that just goes to show that you know people like it. It's just amazing to me because she's been a role model for me in that aspect of it because my mom was like her. They shared a lot of the same drive you know Mel always had two jobs. He was like Look let me to take care of me you're my baby. You know if the father is there cool if he's not that's cool too because I'm going to make sure that I take care of my child. And so she always was well kept her child was always well kept from Mariah's doing great. Mariah's beautiful she's a beautiful child. And so now I'm so taken back by it. But Mel has a calling to mothers. That's her calling. And so in writing this piece I wanted it to be about I realized that this was not just a piece signifying her and motherhood and her hardship behind it so to speak being so young.
Speaker 9:But this is something that all mothers share all mothers are one of a kind and that they share that with each other the hardships that the struggle behind the the great moments the gratifying moments the times where you're forgotten because people will legit call you about your kids and don't even ask are you doing. I mean I'm I'm I'm terrible about it. So how perfect was it that you know we were able to take that picture in front of this mural that is right on the side of city Mediterranean restaurant and all these women are lined up. And she is like how do you know all these women and I legit have to go through each woman I don't know if you saw me pointing at you. Oh yeah yeah. She's like How do you know this person. How do you know this is another person. So I go through it how many women are in that. There are 12 women in this shot and she's making me go through. And then I had to turn around and do the same for all the women who were not mothers who were not a part of that.
Speaker 26:It was it was interesting but you know you guys were there you know based off of the fact that it wasn't just because I chose you all. It was also because God chose you all like he told me specifically who to ask people who I never thought about even asking them to be a part of anything. People especially people at my job like you know that I'm like OK hey girl what you don't want me if we can. You want to be a model.
Speaker 2:Just so so so funny because I remember that. I remember that day when you for their macrophage on the main floor had the privilege of writing the car up to the floor. OK. That and I remember being in a car and thing. The consensus was Oh I'm here. OK.
Speaker 9:Right. I hear you're good. You know what it was like spraying legit spraying and it was cold that day. It was 50 60 something degrees but I'm so glad that you guys showed up because it wouldn't have come together the way that it did if you guys don't show up.
Speaker 8:And then I think this is the last piece three degrees.
Speaker 27:Yes.
Speaker 28:So when I was about 20 21 I had a friend of mine. His name was Brian and he was a really close friend of mine. You know I mean it's so vague how we met because sometimes you meet people and you just click from the country and country boy. But he was a manager at good Barry's ice cream parlor and he was a type 2 diabetic.
Speaker 6:But during lunch. Yes.
Speaker 9:Very type 2 when he was skinny do super scheming and had type 2 for a while but I was in an abusive relationship at the time.
Speaker 28:And you know when you're in those situations the people who are normal you can't really keep them around all the time so you go through these bouts of not talking and I'll never forget I was working at Best Buy and a childhood friend of mine she came in the store and she's like Veronica pretty much she had to tell me that Brian had committed suicide. And so I was devastated. And I felt bad because the night that I believe that it had happened more than the last time that anybody saw him. I he had called me and I mentioned this in the book like I should have called you back. And I told him that I was going to call him back. But I got caught up in a mess and I didn't call him back. And that was the end of it. I definitely have made peace with. I know that Brian knew that I loved him. I definitely know that. But he got a hold of a gun that his roommate had in the home and he killed himself.
Speaker 9:I was out of the lake which is ironically a guy that I married that share the same name. We lived across the street from the neighborhood where he had done it.
Speaker 27:I mean it was just odd how that happened but it was too bright. Yes. Brian. He I really lost one.
Speaker 9:Game you know what I know you'd like to hear him say when I saw him come and I left him right where he was at.
Speaker 27:OK. But you know I'm going to give credit where it's due. Rolling over to the ex Brian God brought him into my life because he knew that he would get my attention. That was the way of getting my attention. Part of me into my life that I felt like was secure and strong. First thing he asked me was the ever relationship like you know guy you know my heart or whatever you know.
Speaker 9:And he was like No. Like do you have a relationship with God. And this was like the first man in my life that prayed for me or had a real committed relationship. So I felt he did. He served his purpose.
Speaker 5:I just felt like oh my God girl he pray for me. He was the best for me so I should marry him now.
Speaker 27:Now all the wrong reasons. So that's how that happened but my friend Brian he took his life and apparently there was some pain that he was going through that he felt like was imaginable like he felt like there was no other way. And I went and never said in a million years that he would have been the type of person to do that. And so that piece is for him that piece I wrote when I was 21. Yes. So some of these pieces.
Speaker 23:Oh yes yes. I really appreciate you going through the whole thing.
Speaker 29:Background your writing process from you know to get to the all day I've got to say bye.
Speaker 11:Really. OK.
Speaker 22:Tell the people where where can where and how do they purchase the book.
Speaker 28:OK. For you guys who don't know I am a photographer. I am a writer. I am all things creative. I'm trying to figure out a way of making time so i can sand down my bookcase and paint it like that is me.
Speaker 13:So if you go to WW dot beyond her pin dot com I have a Web site that I have created for all of my work whether it be photography or my pieces that I've been writing so you can go there to the website and you have two options you can either purchase the eight by 10 book which is the bigger version or you can purchase the six by nine which is just a smaller version same print same book same picture it's just you have a bigger version and a smaller version. I wanted people to have the option of basically you know if they wanted to take the pictures out take the pieces out they could frame them and want to let the people know yeah you did that with it all on your own.
Speaker 2:I did.
Speaker 9:And you wrote my beautiful about me because once again I don't like talking about me. Denise right about me which is Dopeman Denise is a dope writer too. But yes I created the website myself. So I hope you guys enjoy it.
Speaker 17:So it was always editing everything.
Speaker 30:So busy Yes I was thinking I can't take. Yes I did.
Speaker 9:I created the website I created the book from start to finish. Yes.
Speaker 17:You know I've been going here or the board now or whatever address they provide yes. And you are in the West is the International International.
Speaker 19:I'll do all of it. I'm not only a creator of a Web site and a book. I'm the mailman to. Pay for the shipping and all that good stuff so I mail it to wherever you located it.
Speaker 8:Very good to know your work though. What's next.
Speaker 11:Let me break it out for you. I mean it's 40 foot. Oh. Oh OK.
Speaker 17:OK. So what's next for states. OK. Working with us.
Speaker 13:So stay tuned for Season 3. My goal is to get more exposure outside my home right now my studio is located in my home and when I say more exposure I mean actually putting my feet to the pavement and kind of making this Pote. This podcast mobile somebody put this bug in my ear the other day. Kamanga this year is homecoming in North Carolina Central University yes I am a student. I am a part of the not alumni for North Central University. But it's homecoming he said. Did you ever think about doing a podcast a lot while outside during the game.
Speaker 9:I said come on like I literally had shivers. I literally ran around Moscow. We were at a house warming. And I ran a red light when he gave me that I looked like I had to do was show saying Come on man like I didn't even think about that. They shot this last season. We had the opportunity of doing a lot of protest at a friends and family event.
Speaker 13:I didn't even think I had the capability of doing that. And so now that I know that I can and that the podcast was not affected quality. None of that was affected in that we could just show up and do something like that. Absolutely. I'm interested now in making this state mobile taking the pod cast outside of the studio when it's necessary because I just keep it real. Everybody can come to my house for. And so I need to have it where it's a situation where maybe maybe that person can't come to me you know but maybe I can do an interview by going to them. So I need to make myself more assessable on that level. But what I expect or what you guys should expect this this year for Season 3 is more interviews. Of course the conversation is always going as they relate it to having a healthy relationship whatever that dynamic is. Mother Daughter Son Daddy intimate relationships. But along with this this next episode I want to do I want to do a business Podcast where I talk to local business owners like legit people out here getting it you know like for instance my my designer. His name is Buddy Covington. He designs all my t shirts like he and a couple of other guys. They own their own clothing store downtown. Article 74 and you know just the fact that he first of all he's a black man but he owns his own business. He's got a family. He's got a son very respectable very nice dude. Like I have some really good positive images and I'm ready to showcase that. I don't know. I mean I have the whole episode this written out for season 3 but that's what I'm more so interested in and I'm interested in making it mobile making it more accessible to everyone.
Speaker 16:So I have going on the collaboration appear.
Speaker 13:Yes people have been reaching out to me to host events. I didn't even know that was possible either. But like I said I'm interested in that. Now I'm trying to get myself. Is the we're trying to put myself in that mindset that you know I'm being seen more I guess as a public figure. Yes. Yes. Kind of got to give a speech down pat. You know that. What else do we have we have the rest of the book on that part two. Wonderful chocolate. Yes. Part two will be coming out. You know God is also let me know that my story is not the only story that I need to tell. So when I'm listening to people like hey you know we just need to change these names because this could totally be a book. You know I want to start blogging a little bit more. It's just more about having the time to do it. But there's so many different stories there's so many different storylines. There are definitely going to be more books. I feel like just being totally honest I can work on part 2 right now. But to push it and have the to have what I want happen with the book to take off like I want it to. I really feel like it probably will be best to come out on my birthday. Like I started thinking about that today. So just to give the park has just a focus on the podcast focus on the book where it is right now. I'm pushing it and then you know hopefully it'll create more of a thirst for part 2 like oh my god. So when you're coming out with parties so that what else are we worth now. We get some photo shoots going on. People are booking me for their photo shoots. What else are we doing here. We're doing something else. And I just thought of it. You know what you got.
Speaker 19:It's the holiday season so every year Mel and I we put together a event where we collect women's purses and we fill them with toiletries for women who are in abusive situations or homeless. OK so they may be transitioning out of a crisis situation. So these toiletries helped get them through. You know we'll be taking donations for the purses one and then you know usually a lot of times we just end up purchasing the items but we'll take donations as well. Like you know tampons pads like I can't even imagine being homeless and having a monthly and not having anything to you know secure you.
Speaker 2:And sometimes it's like oh I can run under a dollar tree.
Speaker 19:It is so simple correct because we take those things for granted. But you know a tooth brush. And then we try to do something nice like I mean outside the toiletry stuff like your deodorant stuff you know put in like lipstick more bobby pins you know things like that because I don't care who you are if you're a woman. You like to feel pretty you know nail polish or other things. Yes absolutely so I'll definitely be posting up something about that just so we can start on the early November is gone.
Speaker 9:Like legit every weekend in. Don't don't even ask me for anything. Nothing. I am already here December January.
Speaker 20:So I mean there are a lot of things that are in the works a lot of people talked about doing networking events to collaborate with me. I'm really excited about that. So who knows the names you know. Mark or are we on this five year plan right now. That's what we're working towards.
Speaker 8:Come on come on come on anything you want to say I mean Annalise Ah my God.
Speaker 24:I just I have to of course first and foremost before I think anybody thank God for putting me in this position for allowing me to be able to have the capability of putting something like this together. He gave me the words you know he gave me the vision he told me that the book was going to happen. And of course I was like. To writing the book. You know we just vibe like that.
Speaker 6:I'm like you want me to do that. I don't know what you're going to do. Oh a girl.
Speaker 24:I mean I mean it's one thing after the other. The idea is you know constantly about what he is a need and I understand that the need is it's necessary. I just think God I really truly do.
Speaker 25:There's I mean there because there's no way that I would even have the ability to do anything that I do. I have a studio in my home. I put these cords.
Speaker 2:Like I plug this cord into this box like where you are you are exactly I'm like oh you know what it is that you should.
Speaker 23:Yes yes mission.
Speaker 25:I say when it comes to the pod cast I definitely have to think Shannon for even giving me the blessing to be able to start the pod cast you know in memory of her sister just to talk about the things that are hard. People don't like to talk about stuff that's tough on relationships anyway. But having her give me the blessing and not even knowing that I need it. Sometimes you don't even know what you need until you get it. But having heard tell me that it would be OK to do that in her sister's honor a blessing. Definitely a thank you to chuck aka Ged's for teaching me all this. He was the original producer for stating podcasts and what you guys don't know is we spent many hours in his studio. You know what.
Speaker 9:Yes I see so much love for his wife for even being okay with that because that's not always the ideal situation you know.
Speaker 24:So the fact that she was open to them that she allowed that and you know everybody who participated in making sating podcast what it is right now. Everybody always says it's your podcast you have to be at the forefront of it once again. Y'all pray for me on that OK because basically I have to deal with being at the forefront of I have to learn and I'm learning that it's OK to be at the forefront of this.
Speaker 22:But I think it's OK sometimes when there's a little bit I don't want to call it space but I feel like when we do that it's kind of a reminder that God will kill us.
Speaker 18:And you feel like oh you know I don't have the ability to sort of know how the resources or whatever. Sometimes I feel like it's intentional on God's part like you that empty space so that he can feel it. So at the end of the day you don't get big and it's no longer a muscle. This is all me no more my years. And I think he meets us in our imper. Yes.
Speaker 31:And it's a humble. That's the part that keeps me grounded keeps me humble.
Speaker 20:Like you know you guys I wasn't the best student. I wasn't thinking about going to college. Nobody even talked to me about going to college. You know in my home there was so much chaos going on around me. I didn't know anything but just working so I said I'm going to go to work and I have been in the work force forever. Thankfully I fell into health care and I've learned a lot throughout throughout my career in that.
Speaker 13:But I know that I learned quickly and so he has put me in the position to have a mind that was open and receptive of you know learning from other people. Chuck has been involved in music for years and he always said day one his goal was to produce it but he wanted to teach me everything so that I could take over this and produce on my own. I didn't know that's what he was doing like the real deal you know. But he was. And so these chords these microphones the foam on the wall you know all that stuff the sound quality. He taught me those things. And so I'm grateful that he was willing to do that.
Speaker 9:When it came down to the book you know nobody who wrote who wrote a book like that I can actually reach out and call in so YouTube. Thank God for YouTube. Shout out to YouTube. Shout out to Google because they god Google hit me back with. Google came back with some good directions and I was able to read and be receptive of what Google would say because I knew that I wanted pictures. There are not a lot of programs or publishing companies that do pictures of pictures stuff is really more so with children's books. OK so you're going to pay for it. You wanted to be a certain quality. I know what you want my book to be cheap. Shout out to all the people who are self published but I just did not want a book that you could just pick up and just throw around. I wanted it to be a book. There you go that you could say oh you know what let me put this. I've seen people put my book in different places and their home is so dope.
Speaker 32:Yes one of my one of our friends toy and why they have my book like it's on a wall unit. But the glass is at the top of the wall you know and it's like in this open space so you can just see items in this space and it's white. It's a white wall unit. And they have misled in there. I'm like OK kind of me OK. You know people have me on there are mantels. You know I wanted you to be able to take the book and put it with your other books and so I thank God for every single person that dedicated time to this book. I thank God for mail and for Charles because they read the edited versions are just that I don't want to take credit for anything that God did because I know you know what he did. I know what he did. I'm very clear about what he did and what I didn't do but what was all him. You know so I can't take credit for that.
Speaker 22:So I'm never going to leave me you and I. I know you're a dreamer. Always use that term. You say I'm a dreamer.
Speaker 8:Inside the Dreamers for a second.
Speaker 33:Jim humorous so many different things during most that I could say. My
Speaker 20:gosh OK to the dreamer first the first and foremost know your purpose. Know who you are. People say that all the time. Now that whole no your purpose. Know who you are. Thing is becoming so common.
Speaker 31:But knowing your purpose knowing who you are it lines with who you are the person that you're supposed to be your destiny you're calling what you're supposed to do. This thing with me writing has woken me up out of my sleep. I've lost sleep over this because it's like OK Woody what do I crave to do next. Creating things is what it's how I get life. I breathe I get air from it. I feel love from it. It's who I am.
Speaker 13:That thing that is waking you up that thing that you always seem to come back to even if it gets lost because dreams can get lost. But the thing that you always come back to not that dream that you had when you were five and you still holding on it and it's not doing anything for you. I'm talking about the dreams that wake you up in the middle of the night. The thing that you've been that has been gnawing on you. There is a difference between the two. And when I left my job four years ago I wasn't sleeping through I kept waking up at 5 and God would give me things to write. So I started blogging at that point in time. I had to do something to fuel the dream something so that was allowing me to still tap into it and then it just evolved from there. But I learned that I or I saw that when I wasn't doing something that was related to me creating related to me writing. I was a king. I was sad I was and I didn't feel good because I wasn't releasing I wasn't doing anything that was a part of who I am. And so you basically long story short if you deny that part of yourself sometimes you can get lost into something that you never wanted anyway.
Speaker 19:And I believe that's how people wake up like you end up in those relationships you end up at those jobs you're there after 10 or 15 years and all of a sudden you walk in and you're like I can do this no more.
Speaker 22:And it's so funny you say that because they're going to download a couple years ago and find when you do that and you press it. Yeah that creative energy is inside of you. Like you said you know you do what I was getting you. It's a denial. Yes. And it said no to God it's because he created you for a purpose correct wants you to walk in certain things. And for you to repress it and now work it's like you're you're in a cell behind your cell.
Speaker 13:Yes. You cannot fully reach your potential being something that someone wants you to be. And what I have learned is that you know old school old school you know my mom didn't know anything about go out here accomplish your dreams.
Speaker 9:Be a writer now. No no no. You're going to go to work or you're going to go to school. And you know you're going to be at this white collar job are you going to work from that tradition. Correct. But that ain't me.
Speaker 32:It never has been. And I've always fought against that. And what I want to make very clear is that it's not that you can't live your dream and work a 9 to 5 because I do. Monday through Friday. Is that always going to be the case for me. No. But I also I understand that somebody has to finance the dream.
Speaker 22:That's what I was going to say your 70s this. Here is the fuel ginger.
Speaker 19:It is. And God lets me know that like I said I understand now that having a relationship with God there takes a certain level of maturity to be able to understand and interpret certain things that he's saying.
Speaker 9:So for a long time I was like oh I need to work you know where I am I go where I wanna work because this ain't what I want to do anyway. I want to be on the prowl.
Speaker 34:Absolutely. God is practical. Who is going to pay for these microphones.
Speaker 9:Oh oh the jobs that I do outside of my 9 to 5 that are the dream jobs right. They are not necessarily supplying income so I can't be like hey can you just feel their dream. No I need to fuel my dream because a man who does not work does not eat. That's what the world says.
Speaker 35:And so I understand that now because I am mature enough to accept I don't want to have to go to this job and it's not because I'm doing something that is just so terrible you guys not a pretty decent set up. However it's not what it's not what I want to do from 9 to 5.
Speaker 9:I want to be able to sit here and record a power cast or go out here on shoots or whatever.
Speaker 13:But I understand that that's going to come at a certain point in time. I want to be home writing books but be at the point where I'm drawing revenue from all of these different things. And at this point in time it's just not the place I'm not I'm not upset about it. It's a waiting place like I'm in this place got the saying OK you're mature enough to be able to understand this right now. Right. This is good. So if I see you at this level maybe I'll give you more. Exactly what he's done he's giving me more. You know at one point I was just doing photography because each of you. Right. And now here comes the income behind it. It's good because it's like a part time job. So Charles sees it. He's like oh baby you actually break it.
Speaker 6:Provide Provide for my family.
Speaker 35:You know so I understand that at some point that's going to come. So what I say to the dreamer is stop denying that part of yourself that is real and true it even if you have to work a job to supply you know finances for the dream. Do that until you can actually walk away from the job entirely. But you have to. You have to be able to tap into it. So even if you start out small you know I always tell people who write in a journal if that's what you want to do if you want to be a writer now journo you don't have the work to do that to talk about how crazy people are. You could just talk about them writing a journal and then you know it starts there or you could take a creative writing class.
Speaker 13:Just don't just don't do that part of yourself because what I hate to see is you meet those people who have all these ideas they just never never did anything about it. The whole I want to know the whole purpose behind all of these things is the fact that I want to leave behind some type of contribution. I want to make a mark. I want to change some part of the world like even if it's small I know that I have little people looking at me. And so I mean I take this so serious that my nieces look up to me or they see what I'm doing regardless of whether or not I go to school or whatever I want them to know that you have to work hard at whatever it is that you've decided for yourself like whatever you want to do. You have to work hard at it. So sometimes to the dreamer sometimes you're going to be sleepy sometimes you're going to be sleepy sometimes you have to take time off to do the dream.
Speaker 35:And I've been there that I don't feel bad about hey y'all need them and some help. But it's because you know I have to get rest. I have to take care of myself. I have to get myself together in order to be able to do the dream and the 9 to 5.
Speaker 32:So Dreamer's just keep going man don't let any body Steven Furys said it today.
Speaker 13:Won't it be nice if people just did and wouldn't worry about asking everybody has forgiven his later permission I asked nobody God give me something I move with are and nobody had a feel on me.
Speaker 35:I love Charles because he got me down for whatever but I ask him why.
Speaker 19:And this is what happened and I let him see the result. I don't ask him for his permission because sometimes you could be asking people for their permission and they'll talk you out of it because they have reservations about whatever it is that you're about to do. I wouldn't have done any any of this.
Speaker 22:This is true.
Speaker 19:And then God is looking at you and they like him and why he was here it was basically saying is Stop telling everybody everything and I don't even tell. I don't. I mean I'm not saying that you should do this or you do in your home as you're supposed to do.
Speaker 9:You know I just let my husband see the results because he's he's a logical person. OK. Well what does it look like at the end as long as he's happy with the product that's all that matters. He only did really know about the struggle he might see it through. He might see me through a struggle but he doesn't need to know about others.
Speaker 22:We don't know where the people are useful for me.
Speaker 9:Oh I guess you can ask me. Can Stay tuned on IGY. You can follow me on Facebook. Veronica Thor.
Speaker 13:Yeah I hate Facebook. Like I said with a passion. How about this. How about you just follow me on Instagram airpark. Stay tuned and you can follow me on the web page as well. Beyond her pin dot com you can register there and you can keep up with me and my Instagram and my web page along with my tumbler web page which is state to empower cast dot com. They're all linked together so all the updates will be going there. I absolutely despise Facebook is so freaking difficult.
Speaker 17:I don't know why I mean it's so difficult but stuff will be there to make for of an essay because that's what I feel down my soul.
Speaker 16:You know it's one source before we go to your videos. You're going to put a piece you just get that down more and you put it out there.
Speaker 22:And I think you just have to work to whatever it may be and told to do Facebook is not kind to people.
Speaker 26:She's not and is so negative. I think the thing that I choose Instagram over Facebook because I can control what I see. That's what I like about Instagram. I don't have to read through everybody's day. I had a sad and had a baby daddy didn't come home last night and had kids. I don't want to hear about that. I try to you know focus on the positive. So I'm not there so yeah Sears control my oh my god. I'll take it. I'll take their word for it. I don't know what's going on at home.
Speaker 6:But they look happy is that I guess not.
Speaker 23:That's what I'm happy to say. So much for us. Thank you. You're welcome. So thank you for doing this. This is actually fine. This is not bad. I was nervous and sweating a little bit.
Speaker 13:But this was good. I'm glad. I hope I answered all of your questions and you the listeners I hope I answered your questions if you had any other questions that you would like to ask me. You can always hit me up on beyond her pendatang send me a little message y'all.
Speaker 22:It's great. This was the stay tuned podcasts take over. I know you've heard the news.
Speaker 2:It's my holiday right. You know your name you know your desk. Yes. And it's something we're probably talking about. Absolutely. That's a spiritual name that I dislike all of that.
Speaker 26:Like me and my auntie Yeah yeah I know she changed her name.
Speaker 36:Yeah that's where that comes in its or encouraged me to have people put their name in our group name some names and numbers when you know your name and you know you're dead. It kind of confirms something for you. Tell me which direction career going. MP So deafening for the people. CLIVE PALMER based on color I will say Big Brown if you like. More and color versus the black in here. There are so many choices out there. I think you really hurt people. My take away from this is basically people get to write their own narrative. They do. And what I want to purge. You can write whatever you call it spring tomorrow. Right.
Speaker 17:Right. And another thing I guess is it has gone well. Yes. It's got skill said because.
Speaker 4:I know we've had a conversation like this is free. People are doing things for me for free. So free ninety nine.
Speaker 5:Ninety nine. I mean he is funny in the bill. Once again if you're working your path if you are doing a purpose things are going to line up you ain't even got a stressful for nothing because he's got a front.
Speaker 36:People there's only one out there. Yes right. Your legacy. I know a lot of people like to say oh you're like this. I believe it's about your pricing fully complete. You're in the body. You're right you're like you see every single day blessing. And I find it like it it's like this great big musical piece. We all are all functioning and frequency. True. Fine as you meet people. Why. Are all resonating there you certain people in their news. Along with yours and whoever else is connected. It creates harm. It creates music but we need people along the way to try the different sounds. Sound you know and you have to be. Right. Right. Definitely. It's been great. I've enjoyed every single second this take us out.
Speaker 5:What did you guys tune into states empire cast episode 3 it's me and Ranma were out.