20 Ways Men Can Orgasm!

This episode could change the way you look at sex forever. Did you know that men and people with penises can have at least 20 types of orgasms. Believe it or not, the male orgasm has not enjoyed the focus it deserves and that might be exactly why women are experiencing an orgasm gap. In this episode I talk to sex and intimacy expert Susan Bratton about expansive pleasure and intimacy that will improve the kind of sex every person of every gender is having.

In this episode we go over:

·       Expanded orgasm

·       Coregasm

·       Nipplegasm

·       Blended orgasm

·       Perineal orgasm

·       And more

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:24

Do the sex Think fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy. One female orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker room and Shots topic is the 20 kinds of orgasms that men can have, and I'm so excited about this today. I was thinking ahead of this podcast. Oftentimes, especially on this podcast, when we're talking about men, people with penises we have focused on the challenges that many have faced and helping whether it's like physical challenge in the bedroom or emotional or mental challenge in the bedroom or wanting to space it up We've really focused on that, and so today is an opportunity to talk about pleasure and how to. I mean orgasm, orgasm and the different kinds of orgasms, and how to help you experience those orgasms. And I am just, I'm ready. I'm ready for the information.

Speaker 1: 2:34

My guest today is a returning guest and, in fact, she helped us problem solve erectile dysfunction recently, and she's here now to talk about pleasure, so I'm very excited about that too. My guest is Susan Bratton. She is an intimacy advisor and wellness expert. She's also the CEO of two companies Personal Life Media and the 20, and she's an authority in bedroom techniques and communication skills, as well as non-invasive treatments that improve vitality for both men and women Through Personal Life Media. Founded in 2006, susan has authored and published 34 books and programs, including Relationship Magic, revive, her Drive, the Steamy Sex Ed video collection and her Amazon number one international bestseller, sexual Soulmates. And her Amazon number one international bestseller Sexual Soulmates the six essentials for connected sex. Welcome, susan, and I would love for you to tell my guests, especially the ones who have not listened to the Erectile Dysfunction podcast episode, a little bit more about you, sure.

Speaker 2: 3:42

I'm a sexpert and I write passionate lovemaking techniques focused mostly on orgasm pleasure. I've been doing it for a couple decades and I'm not a therapist. What I like to do is I like to help people have really hot sex hot satisfying, confidence, heart connected sex and I think that really includes just massive amounts of co-creative pleasure. And I'm glad you asked me to talk about male orgasm because in many ways men are coming from behind in the orgasmic potential arena and that's partly because most guys think there's only one way to come. Some guys are aware there's more than one way to come, but a lot of guys the discussion is often around premature ejaculation or lasting longer or performance anxiety. You know, they're kind of in that area of their focus. Or maybe they're thinking about putting their attention on if they have female partners, their female partner and how to get her to come better. And I really feel like most men are still really in the dark about the orgasmic potential of their own body and that women are much more oriented toward believing that they can have a lot more different kinds of orgasms than men do. Most men think that their one and done ejaculatory orgasm is kind of like how guys come, and the women who think that they orgasm like a man are really shortchanged too. So most of what we know about orgasm because so much is censored, it's very difficult to get information and all the orgasms that you see on porn are fake and done by actors, and you know it's really interesting yesterday.

Speaker 2: 5:35

This is a tiny, tiny little tangent to make a point, but I have an OnlyFans and I have, I'm currently in relationship with two men and I post a lot of video. I don't do it myself, Actually, my husband does all the posting of the videos and I try not to even pay attention to if we're videoing or not. I just don't like to even know about it because I don't want it to be performative, because the kind of sex that I like is the opposite of porn. It's not performative, it's just surrendered to pleasure. And I had a woman who is actually part of my VIP perks my only fans of the VIP perks club, it's like 99.9% men and this one woman and she said you know, I've watched your videos and I think you're faking it because nobody can come that much and when women come, their legs shake and they move around a lot when they come and they move around a lot when they come. I had to really try to gain her trust that not only was all that me actually having orgasms, but that I wasn't faking a single one of those, not one single one of those, and those were all real orgasms that I was having from lots of different kind of stimulation, orgasms that I was having from lots of different kinds of stimulation.

Speaker 2: 7:13

And so it's really hard for people to even believe it's possible because, number one, you don't see any realistic portrayals of it. Number two, you're used to believing it's all fake and performative. And so there's just this like really limited awareness of the female orgasmic potential, much less the male orgasmic potential, Men. They don't even know there's other kinds of orgasms and if they do, what they think about is semen retention, prostate pleasuring, and they've heard about male multiple orgasm, but they have no idea what it is. And so there's just like we're really operating at a nursery school level of awareness of the fact that the human body can have over 20 kinds of orgasms. We all have the same parts arranged in different orders, Our systems work the same and that every orgasm is simply a learned skill that comes from wanting to do it, believing it's possible, learning how to do it and activating the pathways to the brain to wake up the brains to body sensation connection to achieve it.

Speaker 1: 8:37

Absolutely. I have only woken up my G-spot and my A-spot in the like three years. I'm only now learning my orgasmic potential. So this is a great conversation because hopefully, people of all genders will listen to it and then we can all learn how to start pleasuring each other in like more interesting, exceptional and fulfilling ways, because I don't think that most of us are aware of orgasmic potential and then how that can change our life beyond the bedroom, right, which I think is what the work you and I do here is all about.

Speaker 1: 9:17

So, guys, you like this whole podcast. You're going to want to stay, for if you something happens, you got to get up and run away, pause it. You're going to want to stay, for if something happens, you got to get up and run away, pause it, mark your place, come back, because you need to learn about all of these types of orgasms, and then I'm sure that we will do our best, in the time we have, to give you tips on how to reach them, because we all need to start having more pleasure in our life. So, susan, let's kick this off First we have to have our toast.

Speaker 2: 9:46

What are you?

Speaker 1: 9:46

drinking. Today I'm having an afternoon coffee.

Speaker 2: 9:50

I'm drinking a green juice today, so I just worked out and came back and stopped and got a green juice on the way. So cheers to coming well, coming long, coming hard, coming intensely, coming in lots of ways, across all the gender spectrum.

Speaker 1: 10:05

I love that. Cheers to that, we are here to talk about the 20 kinds of orgasms. What should we start with?

Speaker 2: 10:12

Basically there are three types of orgasms and the caveat is that the 20 kinds of orgasms that I've current, I always have a wild card because I keep learning new ways to come. Wild card because I keep learning new ways to come, so it's impossible for me to say it's only 20. It's only 20 that I can tell you about right now and there are three kinds of orgasms. There's locations to touch, so that would be like my cock, my prostate, my perineum, my nipples, things like that, my mouth, my tongue, et cetera. There is orgasm techniques. Those would be things like erotic hypnosis, literally a touchless orgasm. I can make you come on command by entraining you into a trance state. And the interesting thing about the trance state and erotic hypnosis is that when you're coming, it's the theta brainwave state, and when you're entrained in a hypnotic trance it's also the theta brainwave state. So actually making somebody come when you hypnotize them is one of the easiest things you can do in hypnosis. So that's a really interesting thing, really great for like long distance partners and stuff. That's kind of fun and people who like to follow another lover's lead. You know, that's kind of a neat thing. So the and then another one that's in that category is having an expanded orgasm practice.

Speaker 2: 11:49

And when you think about orgasms, there's different types of orgasms. As far as I would say, duration like the classic male orgasmic response, which is a learned skill based on what you've seen in porn, in the movies, in culture et cetera is the old Masters and Johnson from 1960s chart, where you climb the mountain of arousal, you peak at a climax, you ejaculate and then you're over and you've got some length of refractory period, typically tied to your ages, to when you could get hard again and ejaculate again. And that's a lot of times how women look at it too. They kind of drive themselves to an orgasm by stimulating really hard and then have that climax and then their clit is kind of blown out and they have to rest so they can have another one. But let's just call that the climactic orgasm, the like sneeze the one and done, the one and done. And then the second kind is where you can begin to shorten that period between orgasms and become multi-orgasmic.

Speaker 2: 13:13

So a woman might be able to have more than one orgasm in a session because she's separated ejaculation from orgasm and she doesn't need to ejaculate to have an orgasm, though all women can ejaculate and ejaculatory orgasms, which porn calls squirting, are simply a learned skill. And just like a guy ejaculates and urinates out of the tube that runs down his penis, the urethral canal, and there's a little muscle in there that squeezes shut so you don't pee when you're trying to cum, that's exactly how a woman's ejaculate works. It doesn't come from the prostate, it actually comes from prostatic fluid that is recruited down through the blood plasma into her pelvic bowl and squeezed through something called the skeins glands, through this spongy tissue that wraps around the urethral canal. That's called the G-spot, but it's actually a long tube and it goes into the urethra and when she has a contraction, fluid ejects or emits from the same place. Her pee comes out, but that little muscle has closed off her bladder. So when a woman ejaculates even a lot of fluid later, she'll go pee and there'll be a lot of pee that comes out. It's not pee.

Speaker 2: 14:38

And so men and women both have or the penis owner and the vulva owner. They have this same experience. But what's happened is that over time men have been socialized to understand that the ejaculation is the orgasm and it's literally their two separate systems. So when a man wants to become a multi-orgasmic man. A man wants to become a multi-orgasmic man. He goes down a path that is the beginning of separating ejaculation from orgasm and learning how to pull the sexual urge to ejaculate that energy back up into his body so that he can have an orgasmic experience without ejaculating. This is what Mantak Chia and the Taoists have taught, but they've taught it a lot through the construct of semen retention and semen retention.

Speaker 2: 15:45

Some guys really like that. There's some guys that if they ejaculate they cry, they're depressed, because you know how it is, annette, sex is a bell curve, right? Some guys want to ejaculate every day or multiple times a day. Some guys ejaculate once or twice a week or five times a week. You know, everybody's very different in what feels right to them.

Speaker 2: 16:06

But the old Taoists, the reason that they did semen retention, wasn't for orgasmic pleasure, it was for longevity. So they had to learn how to have pleasurable orgasmic experiences in their body without releasing the fluid. And the interesting thing is that semen has over 20 different beneficial components for you as a partner, and one of them is there's three components in semen that are longevity components spermidine, spermine, or spermine and putrescine. Putrescine is what makes sperm stink. It gives it that smell that funky smell and it's so interesting.

Speaker 2: 16:57

Now one of my girlfriends runs a company called Oxford Healthspan out of Oxford, england, and she has a supplement called Primadine which has the spermidine, or spermidine in it, made from. It comes from two places wheat germ and chlorella, which is a type of algae. So it's interesting that where the old Taoist masters were doing semen retention to hold that spermidine in, because what it does those three components actually are part of, they help with nine of the 12 hallmarks of aging, things like telomere length, like autophagy or cellular regeneration and renewal and cellular cleaning of old, broken cells and things like that. So what's really interesting is that if you wanted to work on your longevity, you could do semen retention or you could just take primadine which is what I do, right, right, I was going to say Then you can literally have the best of both worlds your partner.

Speaker 2: 18:07

You give them testosterone which makes them hornier and more confident and less nervous about things and more goal-oriented. You give them zinc for cognitive function. You give them serotonin and dopamine for mood lifting. You give them a luteinizing hormone. If you have a female partner, that helps regulate her menstrual cycle. So we are very symbiotic.

Speaker 2: 18:35

Whether you're with a male or female partner, or you know male or female presenting partner, whatever it is, your semen's good for your partner too, which is very interesting. So that was just like a little bit about semen, because guys have a lot of questions about it and they don't know much about semen retention. They think maybe they should be doing it. A lot of guys ask me what's your opinion on semen retention? I'm like I think you should come as much as you want. I think you should come as much as it feels good, as long as you're not depleting yourself. I think everybody's different. You have to're not depleting yourself. I think that's everybody's different. You have to find your way to the numbers of amounts. That's right for you.

Speaker 2: 19:16

And then the other piece of it is that once you begin to learn how to separate ejaculation from orgasm and that's really a kind of like going down two simultaneous roads.

Speaker 2: 19:27

The first is that you go down the road of learning how to see where your point of no return is. It's called the P-O-N-R and that's a very Taoist kind of thing that a lot of men have heard of, where you think about ejaculation on a scale of one to 10. And as you're masturbating, you're masturbating and you're learning how to get close and then to back off, get close and then back off. A lot of guys are familiar with the term edging, and edging is good as long as you don't go over, if you can go to the edge and hold the edge. And going back to what I was saying about the timing of orgasm, there's the single ejaculatory orgasm, there's the multiple orgasms, the edging and taking yourself up there, and then there's the kind of orgasm that's called an expanded orgasm, and expanded orgasms can also be considered to be full body orgasms. But what's interesting about expanded orgasms is that you get up into the climax and you stay in the moment of climax, that blissful state of orgasm, for longer and longer and longer periods of time Can.

Speaker 1: 20:45

I ask. So I'm relating it to my own body. In the last couple of years, I've learned for, as you know, a vulva owner, how to stay in that climatic place which, I mean, so many people don't even know it exists and so many people definitely don't know how to stay there. I understand how to maintain it as someone with a vulva, but how would somebody with a penis maintain that?

Speaker 2: 21:16

Yeah, it takes a series of techniques that build upon themselves, that incorporate both squeezing of the PC muscle in a certain way, managing your breath in a certain way and rocking your pelvis for relaxation. You have to relax to relax the urge to ejaculate. Let me give your listeners I have a video about it and I have a series of audios about it, because that in and of itself would take all our whole time and I know we want to kind of touch on all 20. So I'll just drop some links right here If you want to hear Jim Benson and I talk about how to become a multi-orgasmic man and how the me breath works, which is the squeeze, the breathe and the thrust that you learn and work together, kind of like a golf swing or driving a car where you're like, oh God, I got to look in the rearview mirror and use this and do the clutch and the brake and all this stuff. You learn it. At first it's awkward, but then you learn it during masturbation and then you can use it during intercourse to not only have unlimited stamina and ejaculatory choice which means come when you want to or come when she begs you to or he begs you to but what it also allows you to do is begin to have these male multiple full body orgasms. So there's two links.

Speaker 2: 22:41

If you like to listen to audios and you want to hear Jim and I talk about how all that works, you can go to freedomaudioscom. It's free and you get four audios. And then I have a video that's also very interesting, called Stallion Secret stallionsecretcom, and that talks about exactly how you can have this unlimited stamina where you don't need to ejaculate unless you want to, so you can go for as long as you want and you're not holding back. You're actually having orgasms. And the thing about having different kinds of orgasms is that a lot of men, because they're focused on giving their partner incredible pleasure and they're worried about coming, they can't fully surrender into the pleasure that they could be having. They're holding back and they're also kind of up in their head strategizing about what they're doing to their partner and so, instead of being wildly turned on and moaning and coming and all the stuff that they want us to do, they're not doing it.

Speaker 2: 23:57

And when they learn these techniques and they start to have these kinds of incredible orgasmic body experiences, it's like a tuning fork where, when they're coming really well, their woman starts coming or their partner starts coming even harder and better.

Speaker 1: 25:03

I have had that experience for sure, and I was thinking, as you were talking about this, that one thing I really maybe a little bit, but haven't gotten to fully enjoy is since I have learned how to be multi-orgasmic and since I've learned to stay up in that orgasmic level, I have not been able to actually have that experience with a partner experiencing it at the same time, and I'm like, wouldn't that be wonderful? I mean, my partner, while I was having it was working on me to keep me there, but it'd be.

Speaker 1: 25:38

It's like I think there is nothing more powerful, and I've only really had this in deeply connected sex, like when the person you know that I'm with I'm connected with on a deeper level when they come and have an orgasm, even if I didn't think I was going to, it will cause me to as well. There is this sort of fire that's lit.

Speaker 2: 26:03

Yeah, it's like a resonance, it's like a harmonics where one person's vibrating off the other and you can't not come because it's so incredibly hot and sexy and orgasmic. Yeah, so I love to help men move from that being in your head, strategizing super stiff not really you know allowing yourself pleasure because you're so busy giving your partner pleasure, to becoming a man who is having incredible orgasms the whole time there with you. And I think I told you before that my style of sex is heart-connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking. And the conscious piece includes not just I'm here and I'm glad I am and I feel really good about it but also I'm present with you. I'm not up in my head, it is. Men's biggest issue is performative sex, especially because they watch so much porn and that's kind of what they get. They think that's what sex is and they don't know how to let go and surrender. Think that's what sex is and they don't know how to let go and surrender. That's why Tantra is very appealing to a lot of men, because they are tired of strategic, performative sex and they want to be surrendered into a cosmic bliss.

Speaker 2: 27:27

The three kinds of orgasms locations to touch of orgasms. Locations to touch. The second is these techniques whether it's expanded orgasm or it's erotic hypnosis or things like that, there are actual techniques. Breathwork is another kind of orgasm. That's a technique-based orgasm. And then the third kind is what I would call objects of desire, and that's where you'd get into prostate massage tools and strokers and things like that. And for men who want to learn how to do this orgasmic cross training and kind of awaken all these new neural pathways to pleasure, the men who are like you know, my one and done ejaculatory orgasm is great, but I'd like to find more paths to pleasure. I hear what Susan's saying. I want to expand my orgasmic palette and repertoire. If you go to orgasmiccrosstrainingcom, I've put the four kinds of male orgasmic training tools and I've given you choices in each category. And one of the things that I publish is something called the quiet vibe guide, and my quietest vibes are noted on that list, because if you have kids at home or things like that, it makes it more difficult.

Speaker 2: 29:03

I wonder if I have one of my favorite vibrators here. I've got a bunch of stuff, but I don't know if I have it. One of my favorite toys right now for prostate pleasuring is the Vice 2 from Aneros A-N-E-R-O-S, and it is a pretty large prostate tool that goes up inside your rectum and holds in there very securely and it vibrates and it has a separate lighted remote control vibrator. And a lot of times what I have been really enjoying is giving my. I asked my husband to insert it in himself and then he gives me the remote control and he gives me a pussy massage and he's feeling the prostate massaging. And while he's giving me the pussy massage, if he's doing a particularly great job at something and I love it I press the button and it's got 18 patterns and he can feel the pattern change.

Speaker 2: 30:10

I love it because I love pussy massages as one of my favorite parts of our lovemaking in the beginning. So I get engorged and I get my lady boner and he just comes me and comes me and comes me and comes me. And then that's nice because then if we do some oral or we do some intercourse or whatever, I'm so primed that I'm coming so much already. It's just easy to stay in that zone because orgasms are kind of like big wave surfing. You need a toe out and then you can ride that big wave and then the wave set that comes in, gets. Each successive wave gets bigger and longer and bigger and longer. So you're coming more and more and more. It's like a quantum orgasmic experience. So we've talked about ejaculatory and we've talked about prostate orgasms. That's probably one of the first things that most guys are thinking about doing.

Speaker 2: 31:08

There's two other prostate massagers that I like the medium-sized one the Vice is the biggest, but it's not as big as the poos you take every morning. The Plex P-L-E-X from Hot Octopus is a mid-size one. I don't like their remote control as much, but I do love the shape of it. And then the third one, which is for the beginner guy who's like I don't think I've, I don't know, I'm not, I'm not sure I can stick something in my butt. You know and I promise you can, and it's not that hard at all and it's really, really pleasurable.

Speaker 2: 31:39

And the most important thing about it is that, guys, you get prostate cancer and you also get BPH benign prostatic hyperplasia and that is enlarged prostate where it's choking off the urethra, the pea shoot. And so then you're like dribbling pee. You're wearing man pads or you're running to the bathroom, or you can't go on long trips in the car, or you're up all night pissing or you have this dribble that comes out. So you're constantly being like that is bullshit. Stick up, get a prostate massager and start massaging, which gets the blood flowing in there, which gets the oxygenation which keeps it healing and keeps it moving. You really need to be doing that.

Speaker 2: 32:26

And the smallest one, the like starter tool, is a really nice one. It's called the Molto, m-o-l-t-o from Mystery Vibe, and what's nice about it is that the Molto has a very, very small slim insertion and it's really malleable, so it bends to your exact body. So those are your three kind of options. So then, when you start activating your P P spot or your prostate, you're not only doing health benefits but you're also having this incredible pleasure and you can ride those orgasms. Those are the kinds of orgasms that you can start to go oh wow, I don't even need to ejaculate, I can just start feeling and riding this orgasmic pleasure. So it helps you kind of break that pattern of needing to ejaculate, to have the calm which helps you if you want to move on, to learn the me breath and to become a multi-orgasmic man. And then, of course, there's the blended, so you can put that in that P-spot massager and you can stroke your penis.

Speaker 1: 33:33

So that's how you get the blended orgasm for the man or the penis owner.

Speaker 2: 33:37

Yeah, exactly that's the blended, and those can be some of the most powerful orgasms that a man can have is that blended orgasm, though he will blow the biggest load from that, which feels good because it feels very powerful. There's a lot of fluid coming out that stimulates. And then there's just perineal massage. For a lot of guys that don't want to go inside, they can have their perineum stroked and that can stroke a bit of the lower prostate. The Taoists call that a million dollar point, and a lot of guys will touch that to actually try to keep from ejaculating and to try to bring that turn on back up inside them as they're training to become multi-orgasmic men. And then, of course, the actual ass itself, your butt, cheeks, your anal sphincter, the rectum itself. It's not just the prostate, it's that deep penetration with a dildo or a penis. I mean the nice deep penetration, pegging, getting fucked with a strap on. That's incredibly pleasurable, incredibly pleasurable. You may not have an erection while it's happening, but it's massively pleasurable. So that's nice too.

Speaker 2: 35:10

Then there's this. One is a little bit more of a stretch for a lot of people, but it's the urethral orgasm. So the urethra is surrounded by a spongy tube called the corpus spongiosum, that's one of the three tubes of erectile tissue that runs up and down the penis. The other two are the corpus cavernosum and there's two of those and basically these three tubes in the penis. They fill with blood really fast and then it makes it expand and lock off and hold the blood in the penis. Well, just like women like their quote-unquote G-spot pleasured, which is our urethral sponge around our urethra, men like their urethral sponge pleasured, and it's called sounding, and that's the tube that they'll put up their penis up the urethra to stimulate the urethral sponge, to give them orgasmic pleasure to give them orgasmic pleasure and they can come from that.

Speaker 1: 37:04

That is something I have not tried yet with a partner, but I did have a conversation with a man at one point who said, you know they hadn't experienced that, but that they had experienced some stimulation there and felt the pleasure, and so it's wonderful that you explain why that is. But I think I felt a little like I'm like shouldn't I be a nurse to do this? Or just not skilled enough, because it feels like it could hurt somebody if I don't know what I'm doing. But it makes sense now when you said at the beginning you know we all have the same parts, just in different places, which is absolutely true. So that corresponds to the G spot.

Speaker 2: 37:46

Yeah, I'd rather have a guy stick the prostate massager up his own ass. I'd rather have him stick a sounding tool up his urethra. That's beyond my pay grade as well. They're not, but I like to peg guys.

Speaker 2: 37:56

But, I like to peg guys when I'm on the bottom, so I'm not that good a fucker. I just don't have that much experience with it. You know like I like to do it. I like to use a strap on a female body or a male body, but I'm not that great at it. I'm still learning. I'm only 62. I've got a lot of time.

Speaker 1: 38:16

Yeah, yeah, it takes some effort. I'm only 62. I've got a lot of time. Yeah, yeah, it takes, it takes some effort. I'll tell you what there is. There is nothing that will make me more empathetic to men than when I'm wearing a strap on and fucking someone in the in the man position. I'm like God damn, this is, this is some exercise.

Speaker 2: 38:35

Yeah. So that's the. That's kind of the whole perineal anal ass piece of it that's beyond the prostate or P-spot. And then there's the heartgasm and the braingasm and those are really one of the biggest things. Like if I could wave a magic wand and help men have better sex, the wand waving I would do would be to give them all heartgasms Again. It goes back to this issue of I'm in my head, I'm performing rather than I'm dropped in, totally present and connected with you and in love with you and loving being here and my heart is just fucking bursting open. I love this pleasure with you so much. Guys haven't a lot of them. I'll tell you, I was in Ibiza and I was at a rave and I was actually with my daughter and my husband and my daughter had to pee, so I went with her and I was sitting outside waiting for her and this guy was talking to me and he was tripping balls and he found out I was a sex burden.

Speaker 2: 39:42

He goes can I ask you a question? And I said, sure, of course I love this. And he said sex isn't as good as I thought it would be. I'm a little disillusioned with it, I'm a little disappointed by it and I said, ah, and I looked at him and I got the immediate hit. And I said, ah, and I looked at him and I got the immediate hit. You forgot to connect your heart to your cock. Of course it feels empty. It's not love, it's just fucking like leaving all the money on the table.

Speaker 1: 40:10

Yeah, I think that it requires deep vulnerability, and men in our society are conditioned not to be vulnerable, or that vulnerability is not masculine, and to be in that sexual state where it's part of the arousal and it creates the orgasm. You have to be vulnerable, you have to be authentic, you have to be there.

Speaker 2: 40:44

Sex is a mindfulness practice. You keep bringing yourself back to heart. You keep bringing yourself back to presence and connection and pretty soon you get good at it. It's like anything, you're just activating capabilities. That's why Annette, at 50, and Susan, at 62, are still in a massive expansionary orgasmic bliss state, because we're focused on expansion. So heartgasms are amazing.

Speaker 2: 41:15

Lips, tongue, mouth, throat, neck that's like one. You can come from kissing. You can come from eating pussy Just the sheer act of your lips on a pussy or your lips on a cock. You can come from deep throating a cock. You can come from deep throating a dildo. You can come from deep throating a dildo, all of those that you've got erectile tissue on your lips, your tongue, your nose, in your mouth, in your throat, on the sides of your neck.

Speaker 2: 41:51

That's why I don't like choking as an erotic asphyxiation. That's dangerous, porn-fueled bullshit, don't do it. But holding your partner on the sides of their neck, where that erectile tissue is, and lifting up a little under the soft spot of their under neck and holding them down a little is extremely erotic because of the tissue that's in there and the domination of that. So the lips, tongue, mouth, throat, neck one is one of my favorites for guys Nipple gasms. Men have as sensitive nipples as women. You simply need to play with them enough to get them activated. As women, you simply need to play with them enough to get them activated, and sometimes I've found that a guy will have one that's way more sensitive than another, and you can just come and come and come and come, and come, and come and come and come from nipple stimulation. What's really nice is when you're making out with each other and you're having nipple gasms at the same time.

Speaker 1: 43:13

That's super hot, was into it. But I also think what I'm hearing as you're talking about this is that when and I think more so men than women, but when we think about orgasm and pleasure and in sex, we really focus just like on the genitals and just or in the mouth, obviously kissing, but we don't think about our whole body opening, opening like it being a whole body experience. Not really. We get so focused on the genitals and I think, like you said in the beginning, the orgasm just being this, like like I am over clit orgasms they're nice and everything, but they're like kind of boring when there's all of these other kinds of orgasms you can have, when you realize, oh you know, I've got my G-spot and I've got my breast, like we just neglect everything else that's going on, and it sounds to me like a big part of men starting to have these other orgasms is them getting in touch with all of their body.

Speaker 2: 44:15

Yes, Realizing that you as a man, as a penis owner, are as orgasmic as any woman, that you have exactly the same parts and that the only thing that's standing between you and coming like crazy, coming like Susan, is practice and mindset. It's a mind game because your brain is what's processing the pleasure. So you have to send the signals to the brain and start giving the brain the signals, and the brain will be like oh, that actually feels really good. Oh, I think I'm going to come now. Footgasms, bellygasms or coregasms are other kinds of places in the body that really can get you off. And then the bellygasm or coregasm, that's, you know, the erectus abdominis muscle. It's kind of that strong muscle that goes from the pubic bone up into the abdomen, in the middle, up to the belly button. Up to the belly button, If you grab around it like it's a tube and you grab it and you send, turn on sexual energy from your fingertips and your thumb and you kind of shake it a little bit and squeeze it, you can come. Because if you think about it like the Taoists call that, the what do they call it? The bamboo flute, the whole thing from your dick, your pussy, your ass, up the core, up into your heart, up into your throat and out the top of your head, that microcosmic orbit that the Taoists talk about. You're running energy, but it's also a lumen. The alimentary system has a covering and it's called the lumen. The alimentary system runs that energy up and down. You can run it up and you can run it up your spine and down the front. That's like kind of a circuit that the Taoists and the tantric masters run, and so the bellygasms and coregasms help you. Over many years what I did was I started with clit orgasms and then G-spot and then ejaculation, and then A-spot and cervical and deep and intercourse and ass, and then I did coregasms and I started coming from bellygasms and then I was working my heartgasms and my throatgasms and it's really all one channel and you can connect the dots as you activate it. No matter whether you have a penis or a vulva, it's all the same. You connect the dots and then you can start to have those full body energy orgasms that are running up and down your whole body. Your whole body is contracting and expanding and it recruits the entire system. So that, I think, is interesting.

Speaker 2: 47:13

Then there are fantasy orgasms. So just basically like thinking about super dirty things that really turn you on. You can literally just come from thinking you can give yourself an orgasm from fantasy. Then there's fetish, all kinds of fetish, everything from you know Specification to flogging to latex wear to whatever scat you know everything. It's like that's a giant category.

Speaker 2: 47:51

Fetish and kink is a giant category and that's a lot of the objects of desire kind of come into that and a lot of trauma healing work happens in the BDSM and kink space and then sensation play and impact play are really a part of that. So the flogging and all of those kinds of things are really a lot of fun. And then there could be like candle wax and electrostim and you know those kinds of things that can stimulate orgasmic response. And then breath work just simply breathing your way to orgasm. You know full breath, orgasmic trance work. And then the last one for me is really wildcard, because somebody who is listening to this is going oh, you forgot one and I would really like you to email me and tell me what it is, because I want the world's largest, most exhaustive list of ways that you can have pleasure. I love that. I like that goal. Yeah, so that was over 20 kinds of orgasms that we just talked about, yeah, so that was over 20 kinds of orgasms that we just talked about.

Speaker 1: 49:00

Yeah, and I think that. So it was interesting to parallel it with, in my mind, the types of orgasms I know women can have and I've had a lot of them. I have not had all of them. I think I've listed I've done like written articles or listed in a past video something like 17, but 20 sounds accurate because I don't think I included what would be the fantasy and the mental orgasm and all of these have been documented right. These are the core orgasm. Women and I assume men but men were never mentioned in what I had read can have the corgasm Sometimes when they are working out they'll accidentally happen, they'll accidentally trigger it.

Speaker 1: 49:45

I wish to God when I worked out that would happen. I'd be doing my abs all day long. But what would be wonderful?

Speaker 1: 49:56

What I hope is that for everybody listening, but in particular people with penises and men, hearing all of these different ways to have an orgasm will make you think of and be interested in trying more expansive ways of fucking and having sex like and help you break out of the idea of p and v. Sex like oh, sex is when I get there and I put my penis in, pump away, and I come and start to realize because I I feel like a lot of men, especially heteronormative men, says heteronormative men have a hard time realizing that sex is so much bigger than that and that when you participate in all of these other things leading up to and after the PNV pumping away and coming thing, that sex becomes more fun for everybody, including you. It has felt very hard to find men who wanted to really have expansive sex, but maybe by you sharing this knowledge with me I can be more proactive about it Instead of just hoping that I run into the dude that has that knowledge. I can like impart the knowledge upon the dude instead.

Speaker 2: 51:16

Yeah, just make requests. Would you be willing to do this, this and this? Yes, they're almost always a yes. They just want to give you what you want, and you know you're the sexpert, so they just want to know how to make you happy. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 51:31

I've got a list of ways to make me happy.

Speaker 2: 51:34

You've got a sex life bucket list. Yes, I got.

Speaker 1: 51:36

I got one of those.

Speaker 2: 51:38

Yeah, I want the checklist to your heart. I mean, that just makes my life easier when you just tell me exactly what you want and how you want it. That's what I want to give you. Yeah, yeah, that's a gift you give to a partner.

Speaker 1: 51:50

Right, right. I love that. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 51:53

It's been so nice to see you again. Thank you for having me back and thanks for caring enough about men to want to talk about male orgasm.

Speaker 1: 51:59

It's great to see you too. And, guys, if you haven't caught it already, you can catch our last episode. It was Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction.

Speaker 2: 52:10

And we really late. Penis pumping and penis enlargement, remember, and penis.

Speaker 1: 52:13

There was penis enlargement. There was cures for it. Your penis will be well taken care of in that video. So thank you so much and to my listeners. Until next time. We'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.