Have you ever had a headache occur during sex or come on fast as you are coming? Are headaches during sex or masturbation ruining your intimate life? If so you aren’t alone. A listener reached out desperate for some solutions to navigating their sex headaches, and I have some answers for them. In this episode you will learn:
· What sex and orgasm headaches are
· What causes them
· What the risk factors are for sex and orgasm headaches
· Things you can do to reduce the chance you’ll get them
· Treatments for sex and orgasm headaches
· And all the ways you can still indulge ins sexy time, reap the benefits of the sex and intimacy hormones and chemicals while avoiding headaches
Have you ever had a headache occur during sex or come on fast as you are coming? Are headaches during sex or masturbation ruining your intimate life? If so you aren’t alone. A listener reached out desperate for some solutions to navigating their sex headaches, and I have some answers for them. In this episode you will learn:
· What sex and orgasm headaches are
· What causes them
· What the risk factors are for sex and orgasm headaches
· Things you can do to reduce the chance you’ll get them
· Treatments for sex and orgasm headaches
· And all the ways you can still indulge ins sexy time, reap the benefits of the sex and intimacy hormones and chemicals while avoiding headaches
Do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Masturbation Monday topic is SOS, save my sex life. I'm suffering from sex and orgasm headaches.
Speaker 1:
Recently, a listener reached out to me in desperation. She had been getting severe headaches every time she had an orgasm. These headaches were so severe that they would turn into migraines and even landed her in the doctor's office. Now, like me, this listener relies on orgasms and masturbation for all of those feel-good chemicals and hormones to manage pain for her fibromyalgia and stress which is what I use it for the most and she was desperate to figure out how she could get back to enjoying those good vibes while dealing with this headache situation. Now, before we go on, it's really important for me to mention that, yes, this listener was a woman. However, men are four times more likely to experience sex and orgasm headaches, so this is not a gender specific scenario or experience. Now, as it turns out, I am no stranger to sex and orgasm headaches. I've had them both with partners and in my own masturbation practice. So this was a great opportunity for me to weigh in as your sex and intimacy coach and give you some science-backed information, along with some research-backed and personal experience-based solutions that will help you, should you run into this situation, regain access to the power of your own pleasure and pleasure potential. So let's break down what these headaches are, what causes them, how you can treat them and how you can continue to have access to your pleasure while you work through dealing with them. So grab a cup of coffee and let's dive in Cheers.
Speaker 1:
Let's start off by talking about the three different types of sex and orgasm headaches you can experience. The first one is the pre-orgasm headache, and it is usually a dull throbbing in the head and neck. It starts as things get more intense and as you get closer to orgasm. These headaches are usually moderate and last around 15 minutes or so. They can last longer, but they are usually shorter in duration. Then there is this sudden onset headache. It typically occurs when you are about to orgasm or when you are orgasming. The onset is sudden, it's severe and intense and it can last longer 20 minutes to two to three hours, and sometimes as long as two or three days. These can also lead to migraines. Now, the third kind of sex and orgasm headache you can experience is one where the two are combined, which really complicates everything for the individual so much more and can be a little bit harder to work through. So let's drill down into the duration of these types of headaches. Like I said, many people only experience them for maybe 15 or 20 minutes and then they go away, but they can last hours and days and become migraines. Now, fairly often these headaches are experienced in clusters over the course of several months. In fact, up to half of the people who experience them experience them for up to six months and then they go away. Some people only have one orgasm headache and then they don't experience them ever again. So it's not a one-size-fits-all experience. It really depends on the individual, the kind of orgasm or sex headache they're having and the cause.
Speaker 1:
So what causes sex and orgasm headaches? There are three primary causes. The first one is muscle contractions. So it is thought that, well, when you're getting excited and all worked up, your body starts contracting Primarily we're talking about in the head, face and neck area and those contractions cause muscle spasms and those spasms cause tension and then you get your headache. Think about what happens when you're working out really hard and you get a foot cramp or a leg cramp. It's kind of the same thing, except it's from sex, and it leads to a headache that ruins that rosy glow that you're going for. The second and most common cause of sex and orgasm headaches is vascular contractions. It's believed that during sex and orgasm, your blood vessels spasm and this is most commonly linked to the migraines. The third cause is cerebrofluid leak, that is, the fluid your brain is hanging out in, and the thought is that sometimes sex is so exciting and intense that it causes these tiny little tears. That leads to the fluid leak, which leads to a drop in pressure, and that headache then occurs.
Speaker 1:
So what are the risk factors associated with having sex and orgasm headaches? I'm sure you're wondering associated with having sex and orgasm headaches, like I'm sure you're wondering if I'm having these, is my health at risk? Should I be worried? Do I need to go see a doctor? By and large, there is no risk associated with them. They are going to pass and you are going to be fine.
Speaker 1:
But there are a couple of possible underlying conditions that could be of concern, but typically are highly unlikely. The first one is brain lesions. That could be an underlying cause. The other one is vascular disorders. An underlying condition that could lead to them could be something like an aneurysm. But before you freak out, let's talk about when you should start to be concerned about getting them looked into. Generally speaking, if you start having these regularly, there's no reason not to go to your doctor and just rule out any underlying health issues. And they are severe, then you want to go to your doctor and have them rule out anything that might be of concern. Now what's going to happen when you go to your doctor? Your doctor is likely going to ask you some basic questions and you can also ask for some neurovascular imaging for your own peace of mind, and that's going to help your doctor just rule out the big things that might be causing these headaches.
Speaker 1:
So what puts you at higher risk of having sex and orgasm headaches? Number one if you have migraines already, you are going to be more likely to experience a sex and orgasm headache. Age is another factor. It seems that people over 40 are more likely to experience sex and orgasm headaches. I know I had mine after I turned 40. And then, finally, they have noted that they seem to occur in family lines. If your father, mother, grandparents had them, you are more likely to have them, so there may be some genetic link.
Speaker 1:
Before we hop into ways you can continue to get your groove on when you're struggling with sex and orgasm headaches, let's just talk about some things you can do to prevent them in the first place or treat them while they're happening. First, you can do muscle relaxation exercises by yourself or with a partner. They should focus on the head and neck area. You can get a scalp massage or a neck massage. It's a nice way to do a little foreplay with your partner. Do them before sex and after sex just to make sure your body is staying nice and relaxed and not tensing up for those tension related headaches.
Speaker 1:
If you're at high risk and you want to prevent orgasm headaches and sex headaches, you can add vitamin B6 and magnesium to your supplement routine. If you don't have a supplement routine, now's a good time to start Now. These supplements can take peppermint oil and rub it on the painful spots and it's shown in some studies to be as effective as taking Tylenol. And this is a way you can treat it, work with it, maybe be proactive and use it prior to your sex session, and do it naturally, without using any kind of Western prescription medication. Now, if you're already suffering from sex and orgasm headaches, there are meds out there. So what's being used to treat them? First of all, nsaids are I'm talking about, your average ibuprofen. That's going to be your standard treatment for an orgasm or a sex headache. But there are also triptans and this is a medication that's used for migraines and is used to relieve pain once you are already sort of in that severe sex orgasm headache pain place. Another common treatment is beta blockers. Oftentimes they are prescribed to people who are having these types of headaches. Often it basically lowers question this listener had when they reached out to me was like how do I continue getting to enjoy all of those feel-good hormones and chemicals while I'm working through my sex and orgasm headache issue? So let's talk about those chemicals and hormones that she's talking about and that are so important to her health and that are so important to her health and that are so important to all of our health. Talk about a supplement routine.
Speaker 1:
When you are having intimacy with someone, sex with someone and experiencing orgasms with someone, there's a reason why you feel so good. Your body is dumping some key hormones and chemicals that combine together to give you that feeling of ecstasy. So here's the rundown of what is being dumped into your body when you have an orgasm. So, first of all, you're getting dopamine, which is a feel-good neurotransmitter that is associated with our brain's reward system. That is associated with our brain's reward system. Second, you are getting tons of oxytocin, which is considered the love hormone and it's responsible for making us feel connected and close to other people and ourselves. And when you have sex and orgasm, your body also releases brain chemicals called endorphins that have opiate-like properties that can reduce pain and help stabilize your mood. And finally, your body releases prolactin, which is responsible for the feeling of satisfaction that you so often experience after an orgasm. So why are these chemicals and hormones so important that you would continue trying to have pleasure and sex when you are experiencing headaches that result from pleasure and sex?
Speaker 1:
Well, along with orgasms and pleasure and all of these chemicals and hormones, comes a host of health benefits. These hormones and chemicals can help reduce depression, stress, anxiety, they can help you sleep better and they're actually really great mood stabilizers for people who are struggling just to feel good about life. But they're also really good for your health. Studies have shown that having sex regularly and intimacy regularly and orgasms regularly it can improve your cardiovascular health. It can improve your hair, your skin, your nails. The list of health benefits goes on and on and on. It is literally like having a multivitamin every time you have sex, experience pleasure and have an orgasm.
Speaker 1:
So how do you continue to reap the benefits of sex and intimate pleasure when you're having sex and orgasm headaches? Well, as your sex coach, as your sex coach, here are my best tips. First of all, if you are only having mild headaches that primarily occur when you are close to orgasming or orgasming, you can still participate in sexual activity without the purpose of having an orgasm. So you can bang, have oral sex, do all the good stuff knowing that you have no intention of having an orgasm. Studies show that you still enjoy full doses of dopamine, prolactin, oxytocin and endorphins when you participate in intimacy, even if you have no orgasm at all. So here is my suggestion on some things that you can do when you are suffering from sex and orgasm headaches and you're wanting to stay away from the actual orgasm. So, first of all, if you have a partner, you're not going to be taking the active role. This is your opportunity to be a pillow prince or princess. You're not going to be having athletic sex. In fact, they found that people who have sex and orgasm headaches often also have headaches during intense exercise.
Speaker 1:
Second, start an edging practice. So you're going to practice touching yourself, being touched, receiving pleasure and then just sitting in that wonderful euphoric pre-orgasmic space. Now, this is an important time to really learn to get in your body and be in your body and feel what's going on and stay tuned. It's a mindfulness practice. You're staying tuned in so that if you start to even feel a hint of a headache or anything that isn't pleasurable, you're going to bring yourself down and out of that state and if you're with someone, they can hold you, you can cuddle. That is actually going to help calm your nervous system down. And simultaneously, you're going to start releasing and dumping oxytocin into your body, that love hormone. So you are getting it all and finishing it off with this nice dose of the love hormone. Nice dose of the love hormone.
Speaker 1:
Some other things you should do after edging or being up in that pre-orgasmic state whether you experienced the hint of headache or not is afterwards, make sure to get, maybe a scalp massage from your partner or a head and neck massage from your partner if you're alone. I got you. I got you. You can give yourself a massage with something like this, the VIM vibrator. You can use the VIM to explore the pre-orgasmic state and then afterwards you use it as a little vibrator on your neck and your back, your head. It's wonderful. Another great tool for this they are by my bedside is the Leia Lay-On Vibrator, so this one is also great to use because you're being a pillow princess, so you can lay on this or lay down with this and use it for pleasure. And then, when you're done, a pillow princess, so you can lay on this or lay down with this and use it for pleasure. And then, when you're done, the beautiful thing about it is it's actually built to curve to your body. It's really, really good for head and neck massages. Actually, this is something that you can just use for a body massage anytime. I love it. I have used it quite often, so this is something you definitely want to do.
Speaker 1:
If you're prone to these headaches afterwards, make sure to get or give yourself a massage. If you don't have a partner, give yourself a massage. You know it might be a good time to also just treat yourself to a massage and go in to someone to get a massage. What do you do if you are having the next level, sudden onset headaches that are leading to migraines and like putting you down and out for days? Obviously, you don't want to take any risk with that type of headache but luckily for you, there are still some things you can do to get some of those feel good hormones and all of the benefits that come with them. So skin on skin cuddling and holding one another If you have a partner is going to give you oxytocin. You are going to get that dopamine and you may get a little bit of prolactin, though not as likely to get a full dose there. Another thing you can do with a partner is get sensual massage and play with your sensations and what feels good to you. So the massage is obviously going to help keep those muscles relaxed. You're going to get the oxytocin and the dopamine from all of the touch, and if it's someone you love, that is just all the better.
Speaker 1:
Now, if you don't have a partner, you can obviously go in and get massaged Again. You can use your own toys or massagers. There are massagers on the market that aren't meant also for your clit, but I'm like why not get a twofer? Explore the different types of touch that you like. Do you like light, feathery sensations? I mean you can experience a lot with yourself and with a partner without actually getting the genitals involved and getting yourself to that place where you're even going to come close to being orgasmic. There's a lot of fun sexy play you can do with your partner and, of course, if you have a partner and you're wanting to make sure that they aren't missing out while you're working through your headaches, there's plenty of fun stuff that you can do with them. Bottom line is that intimacy, intimate touch, being naked together, skin on skin experiences also, are going to get you the benefits of getting those hormone and chemical dumps. I hope this has helped.
Speaker 1:
If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to scroll down. If you are on my YouTube channel at Annette Benedetti and leave comments below this video. I will check them out. You can also email me at my new email. It's Annette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom. You can always scroll down and hit that speak pipe link and send me your voice note. If you'd like to know what it's like to work with me as your sex, intimacy and relationship coach, you can always email me at Annette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom. You can also go to TalkSexWithAnnettecom and check that out, or scroll down to the link below and click on it. I love hearing from you all, answering your questions and helping you create and live out the most orgasmic, pleasure-filled life that's available to you. So until next time I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.