Learn how to be the best lover you can be by starting a self-pleasure practice that will help you explore the Erotic Blueprints. Find out what yours is, learn what your partner's is, how to please them, and give them the hot, intimate experiences they've been dreaming of.
This is the first in a series. Somatic Embodiment Coach AveryDean Swift will be joining me five mornings in a row to teach listeners how to create a self-pleasure practice according to each EROTIC Blueprint type: Energetic, Sensual, Kinky, Sexual, and Shapeshifter.
You will learn what each blueprint likes and how to please any partner you have. You can listen to the 2 full-length episodes with a complete explanation of the Erotic Blueprints below:
Learn how to be the best lover you can be by starting a self-pleasure practice that will help you explore the Erotic Blueprints. Find out what yours is, learn what your partner's is, how to please them, and give them the hot, intimate experiences they've been dreaming of.
This is the first in a series. Somatic Embodiment Coach AveryDean Swift will be joining me five mornings in a row to teach listeners how to create a self-pleasure practice according to each EROTIC Blueprint type: Energetic, Sensual, Kinky, Sexual, and Shapeshifter.
You will learn what each blueprint likes and how to please any partner you have. You can listen to the 2 full-length episodes with a complete explanation of the Erotic Blueprints below:
do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Masturbation Monday topic is self-pleasure for your energetic erotic blueprint. Today's Masturbation Monday is a little bit different because I have a guest who is going to teach us how to self-pleasure, aka masturbate, in a way that helps us find and explore our erotic blueprint.
Speaker 1:
Now, if you're a longtime listener, you may have already listened to my two episodes explaining the erotic blueprints with my guest, somatic sexologist, erotic educator and embodiment facilitator, avery Dean Swift.
Speaker 1:
If not, you can scroll down and click the links and listen to them. But, in short, the erotic blueprints are a set of maps that help us find the path to our eroticism, pleasure, our turn-ons and, hopefully, eventually, orgasmic sex. And when you explore and discover these for yourself your own and or, if you do this with a partner and discover theirs you are going to become a better lover. You are going to be the best lover you can be and don't we all really want to do that to be able to please ourselves, even if it's just played like right now I'm in a sexual relationship with myself or our partners. This is going to help you find the roadmap to your partner's pleasure as well. But before we move on, I want to let Avery Dean reintroduce themselves to you and tell you a little bit more about the blueprints and the energetic blueprint and what we're going to be doing today.
Speaker 2:
Thank you, annette. I'm so happy to be here. My name is Avery Dean Swift and, as Annette mentioned, I'm a somatic sexologist, an erotic educator and an embodiment facilitator. I work with individuals, couples and sometimes larger groups in retreat settings, including some ecstatic dance immersions at Brighton Bush, and I also teach sex ed to young people through a program called OWL out here in the gorge where I call home. And today we're going to talk about the erotic blueprints. I am a licensed erotic blueprint coach since 2020.
Speaker 2:
And I'll go briefly through the five erotic blueprints, and today we're going to focus on the energetic type. So the five erotic blueprints were created or found by Jaya, one of my teachers and mentors. She discovered that we have these kind of five frequencies or blueprints, as she calls them, through which our erotic energy moves. And they are the energetic, which is what we're going to focus on today.
Speaker 2:
The sensual, the sexual, which is what most of us think about when we think of our eroticism. It's what we're most familiar with and it's what's portrayed to us through movies and TV and porn, et cetera. And then the kinky type, which many of you will already be familiar with that. And then there's the shapesinky type, which many of you will already be familiar with that. And then there's the shape shifter, which kind of brings all four of those into a single type, and it's got a few of its own qualities and characteristics. So I'll be here with Annette for a few of these Masturbation Monday episodes and we'll go through each one of these, and today we're going to focus on the energetic type.
Speaker 1:
All right. So we're going to talk about the energetic. We're going to talk about how to masturbate, to explore the energetic and figure out if it's your thing or your partner's thing, Um, and, and how to, how to, how to how to get sexy energetically. So let's do it. Let's uh, let's get ready to talk about masturbation Cheers. Let's talk about what is the energetic erotic blueprint and how do I masturbate for it.
Speaker 2:
So the energetic, erotic, blueprint type folks who are in tune with their energetic type are most turned on by tease, space, by tease, space and anticipation. So you might recognize this in yourself by if you're the person who likes to have a date on the calendar for a week or two out for a rendezvous with a lover and you like that felt sense of building up the anticipation, if you're the kind of person that might really like the hover of a lover's face even more than a kiss itself. But that close hover and the warm breath and feeling the energy that moves between two bodies when they're not actually touching yet, those are some of the ways that the energetic type moves. Those are some of the ways that the energetic type moves.
Speaker 1:
Can I ask would sexting fall? If you're someone who really loves like sexy texting and gets off on that, does that fall within this realm?
Speaker 2:
It absolutely could. And language here matters too. So the type of words that are a turn on for you are going to be a part of recognizing one's erotic blueprint type. So if someone's texting with really highly sexualized language, they're more likely to be either a kinky type or a sexual type. But if someone's texting with language that's like I can't wait to feel your hot breath on my neck, I can't wait, I can't wait to feel the touch of your skin hovering over my body. I'm looking forward to teasing you as I slowly make my way across the room towards you. Like you can sext in those ways that can still be really hot and erotic, can sext in those ways that can still be really hot and erotic. And that would be more in the energetic type where, if you're using language that's like I can't wait to fuck you, that's more likely to be the sexual type, which is much more direct, much more focused.
Speaker 2:
So with the energetic type, the type of touch that an energetic really gets most aroused by is a hovering or a very, very light fingertip touch. So just to show you here, on my own arm, I could hover my touch over my skin, maybe brushing the hair ever so slightly and feeling, just that charge of energy that can arise from the near touch, from feeling maybe the warmth of someone even more than the touch itself. And for some people that might not be the place to start to open into connecting with their energetic type, but someone who's highly energetic, they can actually feel their own touch or a lover's touch from inches to a foot or more off the body to begin to touch into this type. If this isn't, if you don't feel anything hovering your hand a foot away from your own body, you can be a very light fingertip touch. And this is a great place for toys and props as well, for example feathers. So I've got this little feather duster here.
Speaker 2:
So an energetic type might really like the super soft and gentle brush of feathers along their body. I had a lover once who really liked it when my hair was longer and I would just brush my hair along their back and that really super light, super gentle touch. Because for an energetic type the response to a very small amount of stimuli, the response is really really big, and so an energetic type really needs the spaciousness to feel into the fullness of that response, because each response is so big. If there's too much stimuli too fast, the energetic type will actually shut down and they won't want to be touched, they won't want to be close. They will actually need to back off and like care for their own bodies and energy bodies when they get overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:
All right, so and uh, that's interesting Cause I one thing I discovered about my body well, I love light touch and I love the feeling like that really turns me on for sure. Um, when I'm getting close to orgasm, if I run my fingers really lightly over my lower belly, it will set off an orgasm. But if a partner partners always do this, it's so annoying to me, like presses down on my lower belly which I don't know. I think especially partners with penises do that. I think that they've read somewhere that pushing down on the belly like creates more like it like just Orgasm goes away.
Speaker 2:
I'm like don't do that and that's why it's so valuable to know our own patterns of what works for us and what doesn't, so that we can communicate that with our lovers. Because you're absolutely right, annette, there are lots of tutorials and how-to articles and things written that tell people that, especially if you are going for internal vaginal stimulation, that a little bit of downward pressure on the lower belly for many people can actually increase the stimulation of the G-spot, which for many people does make it more pleasurable and can stimulate a G-spot orgasm. So they're trying to give you pleasure in that moment. But what they don't know is that that actually for you isn't a pleasurable thing. It's actually a turnoff for you.
Speaker 1:
What would a masturbation session look like? So let's say I, because I think when you and I originally did the erotic blueprints, I thought I was kinky and I actually now especially, I'm single. I've now been single for quite a while and I've been doing a ton of self exploration and I actually think and it's something I'm going to use these practices we talk about a lot for the next couple of months. I actually think I'm a shapeshifter. That's my belief. So what would, for me, a session of exploring the energetic blueprint look like?
Speaker 2:
What am I going to be doing?
Speaker 1:
tonight.
Speaker 2:
What you're going to be doing tonight, Annette, is playing with spaciousness, playing with offering your body that little bit of really light, gentle stimulation of touch. And noticing, noticing what you feel. I have a high level of energetic in my system. I'm also a shape shifter with high energetic, and my whole arm is tingly and warm and it's sending shivers up my arm and into my body. And so practicing playing with that on tender parts of you, and so practicing playing with that on tender parts of you, brushing very lightly over your chest If your breasts and nipples like to be touched, you can be very light and gentle there too Stroking your thighs and your inner thighs with that very light and gentle fingertip, light touch. And you can even play with hovering your hands over parts of your body and noticing noticing how that feels, noticing how close does your hand need to be to your own body for your body to notice that something is happening there.
Speaker 2:
People who are highly energetic, like I said, can feel from a space of this much or more. They can feel the energy that moves between those spaces, and when it's too much, too fast, the system will shut down. But a shapeshifter like you, Annette, is unlikely to experience that kind of shutdown. So you'll be able to take that in a lot of different directions, where someone whose core type is truly energetic and that is their main type and that is where they experience the most pleasure. Those are the folks who are likely to shut down with too much too fast. They just go into overwhelm and their system goes ah, that's too much, I don't want to be touched anymore because it's too much.
Speaker 1:
So is there a way that you can use toys in this sense Right off the bat? One of my favorite toys is Pleasure Air Tech clitoral toys, and the thing that I was thinking about in this is they actually say they are touchless, meaning you can put them on your clitoris or you can hold them away from it and whatever waves they're putting out. I've never tried that, I always just stick it right on. There Are supposed to give you stimulation with this. Maybe give me some examples of how I could incorporate toys or I have a couple more objects that I can show you.
Speaker 2:
But the energetic type typically is going to be more interested in a different type of toy than anything, that's, direct genital stimulation. Because for an energetic type they may not be interested in genital touch or stimulation at all. That isn't where the core of their eroticism lives. Someone who is interested in direct genital stimulation is someone who also has a lot of connection to their other blueprint types or who is maybe a shapeshifter like yourself.
Speaker 2:
So a toy like that someone could use on their neck. They might enjoy using that like on the inside of the elbow or on the belly, like some of those areas you described on your lower belly that can be really sensitive, or maybe around the inner thighs. A toy like that that would provide some um air stimulation through moving the air, that could be, um, something that they would appreciate in some of the more sensitive erogenous zones, but maybe not again directly on the clitoris or directly on the genitals. A true energetic type either isn't interested in that much at all they're more satisfied without direct genital contact or they need a lot of buildup and a lot of that tease and anticipation and building the energy, building the energy, building the energy before their system can feel open and ready to move into the sexual type, which is more of that direct genital contact, direct genital stimulation. So as a shapeshifter, you're going to be able to go there with more ease than someone whose true type is an energetic type.
Speaker 1:
I think this will resonate with a lot of people. But the build up to the bedroom with someone. Oftentimes it's in that build up where you're getting off the most. And then, once you're actually in the bedroom and doing the deed, it's like I mean this was fine, but what was really hot was getting excited about each other, and then it'd be, and then sometimes it can actually become a little bit mechanical once you get to the bedroom because you're like, well, okay, now we're going to do sex. But what I really enjoyed was us just getting into each other and that buildup and this energy between us is, you know, people call it chemistry, people call it, oh, our pheromones were talking to each other. But it's that incredible space of just being so in tuned with someone else's energy and knowing you guys want each other, that your body just you flush in your cheeks and your whole body gets kind of engorged with blood and excitement.
Speaker 2:
Yes, that is exactly what is most exciting to the energetic type, and so that kind of stimulation, that kind of spaciousness, that kind of anticipation of closeness, anticipation of touch, that can be more arousing for an energetic than, as you're saying, actually getting into the bedroom and getting naked together. I'm curious, for folks who are listening, if you recognize any of this in yourself or if you recognize any of this in a lover or maybe even a friend that you've had. There are ways to recognize the energetic type way outside of the bedroom as well. Energetic types are those who are more likely to use esoteric language, not clear and direct language, but are more likely to use flowery language and talk about the possibility of things versus the concrete details of things. So these blueprint types show up in us in so many different ways, not just in the bedroom, but they're super pronounced in the bedroom and in our eroticism and really in our arousal and our turn on. Because, just like you're saying, annette, that anticipation of building toward what we think of as sexual or erotic activity for an energetic blueprint type, that is their eroticism, that is their turn on, and for some people it can be a gateway toward other activity and for other people. That is what they want. They want that tease and that spaciousness and that anticipation and the build and the build of the electrical currents that move through our own bodies and that can bounce back and forth between two bodies when there's enough space in between for that energy to move. And so getting back into how we play with this with ourselves or with a lover, but with ourselves, one way to do that is using other types of tools. So I have here with me two crystals, two different types of crystals, and these can be a beautiful tool for self-pleasure in the energetic type and really kind of tapping into and testing one's energetic type or energetic capacity. Because for many people holding crystals, people can feel the energetic frequency that's carried in these pieces of crystal and earth that are often buried underground and dug up. And so this can be a way to feel if you hover a crystal over your body and I'm using my arm for demonstration purposes but if you were to hover this crystal over your neck or your chest or your belly or down near your root center, down near your genitals, you might notice different things in different parts of the body and even a stillness for some people, and just basking in the felt sense of the subtle energy and when, for many energetic types, putting intentional focus into that subtle energy without a lot of movement actually allows that subtle energy to build and build and deepen and deepen and it can bring that energy down more deeply into our bodies and into deeper layers of our system. The cool thing, one of the superpowers of the energetic type is they can literally have full system orgasms without being touched.
Speaker 2:
And an energetic orgasm is different than a sexual orgasm. So a sexual orgasm in the sexual blueprint type is often genital focused. It happens in the clitoris or in the penis, um, or perhaps in the inner parts of the body the prostate, the vagina, the cervix, et cetera, the G-spot. There are many different ways to have those kind of climactic genital orgasms and those are all pretty well placed in the sexual blueprint type. And an energetic orgasm can happen all throughout the entire body.
Speaker 2:
And many of us, I think, have experienced this at one time or another, where we're in pleasure and our body starts to shake or quiver or shimmy and those energy frequencies are like a quivering, shaking, shimmying energy that moves through our bodies. It might give us goose flesh or chicken skin, goose bumps as people call them. Those are energetic orgasms. If you've ever had a lover come and like, nuzzle into your neck and it gives your body shivers, that's energetic orgasm. Those are little orgasms moving through the body and sometimes really big orgasms moving through the body and for some people who go deeply into this energetic type, it can be a full body, full system, undulating energy experience that can be deeper and more profound than a genital climax created through direct physical contact and stimulation.
Speaker 1:
I've definitely had experiences where I was just like I would I would call it orgasmic.
Speaker 1:
But and and then people you know the people I've been with they're always like you're lying.
Speaker 1:
That wasn't an order, but then I felt like I felt, I felt the release and I didn't have the words or the knowledge to you know to explain it. This is a great way to explore in your own masturbation or self-pleasure session to start to figure out where you are. You can start with hovering your hand over different areas of your body and stroking yourself without stroking yourself, and seeing if you feel anything, tuning in and really giving it time right. And even if you aren't an energetic blueprint type, it gives you some information. When you are with a new person, or maybe if you are in a situation where you are having a hard time connecting with your current partner, this might be a good starting point. Just to see, like when you're around them, breathing on their neck lightly, like just switch up how you're doing things with them, you know, spend more time just getting physically close to them and see if they respond to that. Right, because people I would say probably the vast majority of people don't know what their blueprint type is.
Speaker 1:
I don't think this is, this is, this is knowledge that the average person out there has. So you, you know, I get a lot of people reaching out to me all the time saying I don't, you know, my partner, usually a woman, just isn't interested in anything anymore. And I try to do this and that and they're not in it. Well, did you ever think maybe she is more energetic or that's part of her blueprint and you need to figure out how to tap into that? So start practicing on your own body and then, you know, next time you're together, just like get next to her, like put your skin close to each other, do that kind of thing and see, maybe she's like suddenly like hey, who's this?
Speaker 2:
What I see frequently in folks who are coming to me seeking support with what they feel is a sexual mismatch is that one is a sexual type and one is an energetic type. And the sexual type is like it just works to just go straight to genitals and it's so good and it's relatively simple. And why isn't it working? It used to work and the energetic is like shut down and really not very interested in sex at all anymore, because they've been going to that genital type of sex because that's what their partner wanted. And oftentimes the energetic is so confused they're like I used to like it and I don't anymore and I don't want it, and it actually makes me kind of squeamish and it makes me uncomfortable and I just shut down and I'm not interested, and so much of that is that that energetic type just hasn't been getting their needs met.
Speaker 1:
They haven't been getting any of that buildup and the eroticism Right. So practicing on yourself it's going to make you better at giving this to your partner.
Speaker 2:
For many types who have shut down, no matter what the type. If someone has shut down erotically, it's likely because they haven't been getting their needs met and they haven't been getting nourished or fed in their blueprint type. Once they get fed and nourished in that type and their system comes back online and their cheeks start to pink up again and they start to get that bright sparkle in their eyes again, often not always, but often those people will start to open way back up to other blueprint types and other types of erotic activity once their cup is full, which means you'll get laid Maybe.
Speaker 1:
Hopefully we're not promising.
Speaker 2:
But you are way more likely to get laid if you know how to nourish and feed your partner in the ways that they feel pleasure, arousal and turn on it is way more fun to fool around with somebody who is turned on than someone who is just tolerating it. I'm not interested in that. Thank you very much.
Speaker 1:
No, no, all right. Well, I feel like we've covered this. One thing we didn't mention we should have at the beginning is there is actually a link that I'm going to put in the notes of this episode to a survey. Right, it's like a survey thing, a quiz that you can go and you can take and you can fill out and you'll get a good idea of what blueprint you likely are. I think it's always wise to then take it a step further and start start masturbating, self-pleasuring to your blueprint, but I also think you need to listen to that.
Speaker 1:
We're doing a series, so we're going to go to through all of the blueprints and how to do a self-pleasure practice with them. I think you should even do this with blueprints that aren't yours, because you're going to have lovers. You might have a partner who is not the same blueprint as you, and if you can at least experience what maybe someone else of a different blueprint would want, it's going to make you better at giving to that partner, which means that partner is going to get turned on and want to give back to you. And I know, dear listener, you're wanting to get laid. I know because you're reaching out to me and telling me all the time about like your struggles in that area and this is going to be key to helping. But we'll drop that below, so before we go, can you let everybody know where to find you?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so you can find me at embodyyoursensescom, and you can also find me on Facebook and Instagram at embodyyoursenses. That's my handle specifically for the erotic side of my work, and I also do spiritual and somatic embodiment as well, and so you can find me there at gorgebodywisecom.
Speaker 1:
And you guys know, if you have questions for me, want to reach out to me, and I have also started coaching clients who are struggling with figuring out how to connect with their partners, and so my books are open figuring out how to connect with their partners, and so my books are open. But send your questions to or reach out to me at Annette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom. You can also go to my website, talksexwithannettecom, where you can find all my episodes and information about my offerings. Please also, if you're listening to this, you can go watch it on my YouTube channel at Annette Benedetti. You can drop comments below each episode and then I can go and try and answer your questions or find someone who can answer them. So please feel free, if you're confused by any of this, to reach out and we are going to get you the answers you need and want. So until next time, I'll see you guys in the locker room. Cheers Ring loop.