Masturbation Monday: Master the Sensual Erotic Blue Print for Better Sex!

The Sensual Erotic Blueprint may be the key to becoming the best lover you can be. Blow her mind when you excite all of her five senses and more. In this episode, Somatic Embodiment Coach AveryDean Swift shares an in-depth look at the sensual erotic blueprint, how to explore it in your own body with a yummy self-pleasure practice, and then how to surprise your partner(s) sensual side with plenty of orgasmic play ideas. 

Don’t forget to catch Last Monday’s episode in the Energetic Erotic Blueprint and the two full-length episodes below which provide a more in-depth understanding of the Erotic Blue Prints.

The Erotic Blueprints Part 1: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1692988/11034772
Part 2: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1692988/11069034

Erotic Blueprint Quiz:
Take the Erotic Blueprint quiz: https://theblueprintbreakthrough.com/?oprid=7475&ref=78757

Subscribe to my e-newsletter: https://she-explores-life.ck.page/e9760c390c

Ask a question, Leave a Comment: https://www.speakpipe.com/LockerRoomTalkPodcast

To find out more or book a session with me visit:
https://talksexwithannette.com/home/sex-relationship-and-intimacy-coaching/

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Chapters

• 0:00 Exploring Erotic Blueprints for Better Sex
• 5:38 Understanding Sensual Erotic Blueprint Types
• 13:04 Exploring Sensual Pleasure and Orgasms

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:44

do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Masturbation Monday topic is self-pleasure, aka masturbation for your sensual masturbation, for your sensual erotic blueprint.

Speaker 1: 1:34

Now, if you joined me last week for Masturbation Monday, you know that my guest, somatic sexologist, erotic educator and embodiment facilitator, avery Dean Swift, is joining me to help teach me, you all of us, how to self-pleasure you all of us, how to self-pleasure, masturbate, to explore our erotic blueprint.

Speaker 1: 1:58

Now, if you have listened, in the past we have done an in-depth podcast episode I think two actually on the erotic blueprints.

Speaker 1: 2:01

Again, I am going to leave a link below so you can go and listen to them, so you can get you know, go really in depth with what they are. But, in short, avery Dean is going to explain this better in a second. The erotic blueprints are a set of maps that help us find the path to our eroticism, pleasure, our turn-ons and hopefully, eventually, orgasmic sex, and by exploring them in our own body. And if you have a partner, you can masturbate together and explore them together. Learning about this and experiencing this is going to make you such so much of a better lover, the best lover, maybe a pretty darn good lover, the best lover you can be. I love that because you'll not only know how to be more pleasure filled, but to how to fulfill a partner, should they have a different erotic blueprint than you do. But, avery Dean, I'm going to let you introduce yourself, run us through quickly what the erotic blueprints are and, of course, introduce the sensual blueprint Definitely.

Speaker 2: 3:11

Thanks, annette, I'm happy to be back with you again Again. My name is Avery Dean-Swift, I use they and them pronouns and I'm a facilitator and a coach and an erotic educator. I work with individuals, I work with couples, I do some really cool ecstatic dance retreats at Brighton Bush and I also teach sex ed to young people out here in the gorge where I live, and I can work with individuals anywhere in the world. Really A lot of this goes really well over Zoom. So I spend a lot of my time on the computer and a lot of time talking about the erotic blueprints which were kind of created and framed by my teacher and mentor, jaya. She is a somatic sexologist as well and a sexological body worker and she found after years of working with people's bodies and eroticism that there are these five consistent pathways through which our turn on and our arousal get stimulated and they're different than what we kind of are taught to believe. Sexuality and turn on and arousal look like we're kind of shown one way in our culture and especially in pornography, and that's the way of genitals, genital stimulation thing A goes into slot B and that's what sex is and that is the sexual blueprint type which we're going to talk about in another episode. But there are four other erotic blueprint types, four other pathways through which people's turn on and arousal can be stimulated in really meaningful, really deep, really nourishing and really satisfying ways where we can reach really expansive states of orgasmic bliss and pleasure that might not actually be connected to our genitals at all. So I love helping people understand this for themselves, so that we can each understand how our own body's pleasure, turn on and arousal work and also, just like you were saying, annette, so that we can recognize how another person's system responds to different kinds of stimuli. Because when we recognize our lover's blueprint type and we can learn to feed, nourish and stimulate our lover's turn on and arousal in the way that really truly nourishes and feeds them, everybody has better sex. Everybody has a better time when nourishment, arousal and turn on are really full in the full body, no matter what the blueprint type.

Speaker 2: 5:38

So today we're going to talk specifically about the sensual type. I'll really briefly. The five types are the energetic, which we talked about last week. The sensual, which we're going to talk about today. The sexual, which is the one most of us understand. The kinky, which most of us are probably at least familiar with. And then there's the shapeshifter, which is kind of all of them wrapped into a single type. So today to talk about the sensual, I'll start by telling you a little bit about what that sensual blueprint type is.

Speaker 2: 6:09

And the sensual type is a person who is most turned on by stimulation of the five senses, the five sense organs taste, touch, sight, sound, smell. So a sensual person is someone who might take a sip of a delicious beverage and really want to take a moment to drink in that sensory stimulation of taste. A sensual person might really enjoy being fed delicious morsels of treats, chocolate, berries, whatever it is that they enjoy A sensual person. It's going to be pretty important to them that the sounds in the space are conducive to the experience. So the right kind of music, the right kind of lighting, the right kind of textures on the clothing or the bed or whatever surfaces folks are on, all of those things are going to be an important piece of a sensual type's arousal and turn on.

Speaker 2: 7:15

The superpower of the sensual type is that they can have full body orgasmic experiences and the kryptonite to the sensual type, the thing that will lead them to turn off the fastest, is if one of those five senses is stimulated in an uncomfortable way. So if there's loud construction going on outside, a sensual type is not very likely to be able to shut that out. Where other types won't even notice it's happening, a sensual type might need their lover's body to not have any smells they don't like. So if your lover doesn't like your cologne their essential type it's going to be a no-go. Or if you maybe haven't showered in a few days, that might be a really hard thing for a sensual type to get over and to get into the mood for an erotic experience. If the lighting is too harsh or if there's not enough visual, if there's not enough lights on that, the sensual type can see what's happening. Either of those extremes of the spectrum can be less arousing and potentially a turn off for a sensual type.

Speaker 1: 8:29

Before we go on, I want to let you know and I should have said this earlier we are going to drop a link to a quiz you can take. You're going to scroll down If you want to start getting directed towards what your erotic blueprint type is. There is a quiz you can take and it's going to give you a good like close approximation. However, comma, I want you to still listen to this series that I'm doing with Avery Dean, because you should be exploring all of the erotic blueprints in your masturbation practice so you know what they feel like, not only in your body, but you have some idea of what a partner might want who has one of the other erotic blueprints. Because I not only want you to build your own self-pleasure practice, to explore your pleasure potential, but I also want to help you be a better lover, and I think this is going to be key to that.

Speaker 2: 9:28

So the quiz is a lovely way to get a sense of what your brain believes your type to be, because most of us will answer those quiz questions from our brain and then there's also our body.

Speaker 2: 9:42

So, just like Annette was saying, it's really valuable to not just stop at the quiz and believe that that is the end, all be all of your type, but it'll give you a really good idea of what your type might be.

Speaker 2: 9:53

And then take that information and listen to the series of masturbation Mondays where we're going to talk about what type of touch each of these types might enjoy, and exploring that a little bit in our own bodies as we go, so that you can understand how does your body actually respond to these different types of touch and how much access do you have already to each of these blueprint types? Because we all have the capacity to expand into all five blueprint types. Even if we are squarely seated in one, we can little by little, bit by bit, learn to expand ourselves into the other so that we can enjoy pleasure from multiple different pathways, so that not only can we give pleasure to a lover who's a different blueprint type than we are, but we can actually learn to share pleasure with a lover in any of these blueprint types, so that it can also be a shared experience as well as find the spaces to really feed and nourish a lover, to get their arousal and turn on into a really juicy place where everybody can play together and enjoy orgasmic bliss.

Speaker 1: 10:59

As I had shared with Avery Dean and everybody who was listening last week. I thought I was a kinky blueprint and what I have realized, and I'm like 99.9% confident, is I'm more of a shapeshifter erotic blueprint which we will talk about. It will be our final in our series, so keep listening in the upcoming weeks. And, as you are talking, we were talking about energetic last week and I was like, oh God, I love the buildup, I love it when someone's just their skin is close to mine, they're about to kiss me and I like it. Is that breath on my face or my neck before we kiss. That's my sweet spot. But then now talking about today, the essential already, the description, and those of you who have been listening to my Masturbation Mondays, you know that my bed has super soft, um material. I talk about that all the time. I talk about setting the scene and I love candles and I love scent and sound is super important to me, so, um, so yeah, fascinating. This is good stuff, folks, good stuff.

Speaker 2: 13:05

And the reality is, Annette, like I said, we all have at least some access to all of these. These all live somewhere within us. It's more a matter of how much connection and attunement do we have to each of these pathways, to each of these blueprint types, to be able to experience the pleasure, the arousal and the eroticism that lives within them. And for many people our blueprints kind of come in a stack where our easiest to access blueprint is at the top and maybe previously for you that was kinky, that might've been the thing that was like. This is the thing that turns me on the most.

Speaker 2: 13:38

I can go right there and a lot of us have at least one kinky thing or another that, no matter what else is going on, you bring that kink in and things open up. Kind of the beauty of kink, right, but there's a stack, so you might have one that's at the very top, that's the easiest to access. And then you have the next one that it might be right there, but maybe you need a little bit of that number one to open up access, to start to feel the arousal and the eroticism for the next one in your stack and that they go through. In that we all have all five of them somewhere within us, even though if the one at the bottom we may not have much access to Like.

Speaker 2: 14:14

There are some people who are like I am not kinky, Nothing about me is kinky, I don't. I don't have nothing kinky feels arousing to me. My guess is there's something that you just haven't found yet, or maybe there's something that you don't think of as kinky but that falls within that kinky blueprint type. But we'll get to that in a couple of weeks.

Speaker 1: 14:32

Cheers. Let's talk about masturbating, for the sensual blueprint Set the scene tonight.

Speaker 2: 14:39

So I'm going to put together a playlist that starts kind of slow and makes me want to move my body in really sensual ways and I'm going to run my hands kind of firmly along my body, giving myself some like self-massage, some deeper kneading kind of touch. I might run my hands more firmly down my body as I kind of undulate and wind my body moving to the music. I'm going to have candles set so that there's enough lighting. I might have a mirror so that I can see myself, see my own body, see what's going on. Sound I might bring in some sound toys and just notice how does my system respond to the stimulation of different kinds of sounds. I might bring in some soft pieces of like fleece or felt and brush those over my body. I might give myself a massage, or I might make it lighter and softer and kind of drape the textures of these different fabrics over my skin and feel how does it feel in my body to have that sensory touch stimulated in different ways. And when I find something I really like, I might stay there for a little while, something I really like. I might stay there for a little while and if you're exploring this for the first time you might keep moving and maybe make a note of something you find that you really like to go back to later. But smells are another one here. So I've got a little essential oil here. I might take a little bit of that and place it on my body and be able to breathe in and notice how does that smell affect me. I might even smell my own body. I might smell my own sex organs. I might smell my own sweat and notice how that feels in my system and notice what kind of impact that has on my arousal or my capacity to experience pleasure impact that has on my arousal or my capacity to experience pleasure.

Speaker 2: 17:01

And a sensual type may or may not ever get to the genitals, although a sensual type is more likely to also enjoy sensual stimulation of the genitals, where an energetic type may not want direct genital contact because it's just too much, there's too much energy, there's too much stimulation there.

Speaker 2: 17:17

But a sensual type might really enjoy soft, gentle, slow, circular motions on the genitals, maybe even on the outside of the vulva, the outer labia, a soft, gentle, stroking sensation.

Speaker 2: 17:36

They might enjoy a kneading, grabbing of our butt cheeks, so those big muscles there maybe pulling the tissue and the flesh apart and bringing it back together, long before there's any actual clitoral touch or direct penis touch. For bodies with a penis, they might really enjoy holding and cupping scrotum or just holding and cupping the genitals and feeling the warmth of that touch without even any movement or motion. So for the sensual type, it's really all about how do we stimulate those five senses and let that stimulation kind of build and build and build without really having a goal in mind, with enjoyment and pleasure being the focus and not driving toward a particular destination, not driving toward one particular act, not driving toward a climax, but really just luxuriating in all the pleasure that's available through the senses, through touch, through taste, and go for those delightful mouthgasms that can happen as we taste. The most delightful combination of, say, strawberry and chocolate is a common one that many of our taste buds go for. It's really all about sinking in.

Speaker 2: 19:05

I definitely have mouthgasms, that's for sure, Most of us have experienced that at one time or another and that's related to our sensual blueprint type. And it doesn't necessarily always feel erotic per se when we're having that mouthgasm, but that deep sense of orgasmic pleasure that moves through our body, that's what that is.

Speaker 1: 19:26

And I think also you start to have quote the mouthgasm you taste something and it's super pleasurable, and then you're also in a setting that has the scent going and the music going. That can start to just turn you on, like light up your body and turn you on. And so in this self-pleasure session the genitals can come into play, because I know some of you are like, hey, I want to get to the like getting off part, cause I know we're all very driven towards that, which is something we need to work on too. Sometimes it's good to self-pleasure without the goal of an orgasm. The goal of having an orgasm can really ruin sex and sensual experience.

Speaker 1: 20:12

And I think and I don't I know this is very gender specific and it's probably me generalizing, but I do think, especially when I because I have so many cis men talk to me and reach out to me about having partners just losing interest in sex. And I think with a lot of women we've been especially cis women, we've been conditioned to romanticism and to the sensual side of sex and that's really exciting to a lot of us. Again, I think that's a lot of conditioning and it's not that I don't think it couldn't be as exciting to cis men and the heteronormative culture. But you were more conditioned to the like penis and vagina, pound, pound, pound orgasm, the orgasm, seeing her orgasm, you orgasming, you're goal oriented, that's your success. And so if you're only focused on the goal and she's wanting like romanticism and you're shooting past it and trying to get her to orgasm, it's never going to happen and it's going to be irritating to her because she's like I want some buildup and you're like, oh okay, I'll take you out to dinner Now let's go home and fuck.

Speaker 1: 21:44

Well, that's not going gotten to it yet. But even if you are a sexual blueprint, which those PNV people out there who just want to pound away, it's going to rock your world. But finding pleasure in the five senses whether it turns you on or not, it's going to be nice for you. You should find pleasure in things you know in your five senses. So start to feel that. But for those of you who want to get to, can I get off? This is a place where you can. But you're going to be using and correct me if I'm wrong more of the sensual touches and movements and trying to also simultaneously tap into the feel of the sheets beneath you and the sounds you've created, and is that correct?

Speaker 2: 22:44

Yeah, because for a true sensual type all is that correct more of like a slow, luxurious undulating of bodies together. That's a little less of the the hard pounding kind of fucking sex Right, and more of like a lovemaking style undulation, because that then moves through the entire body and those orgasms maybe start in the pelvis or in the genitals, they might even start in the nose or the mouth or they can start from so many different places and then they move through the entire body in a similar way to how energetic orgasms do, but definitely different. And if you're familiar with both you really can tell the difference. Because the sensual orgasm is like deeply within the body and it's a fluid undulation of the whole system, almost like a snake, like if you're familiar with the concept of Kundalini energy, the snake that lives coiled at the base of the spine and then rises up. It's that kind of round, spirally undulating energy that really moves through with the sensual type and can move through the entire body.

Speaker 1: 23:57

So for me, my session is going to look like well, my, my life is set up for this anyways, because I think the sensual blueprint is strong in me. Um, I already have a bed with like lots of pillows. It's all fleece or velvety material, um. But I think what I would do is take more time. I'd make sure my candles are lit, I'd make sure that I have the scent just right. I'm hugely affected by scent. Maybe I don't always play music when I masturbate, but I'd set myself up for some good music that gets me in the mood and makes me feel sexy. And then, you know, take time with a. If I brought toys into it, it would be the, the more essential toys.

Speaker 2: 24:44

Um, you know, I'm not going to ram a butt plug in there, and and uh, get going, and an important thing for essential too is clean up the dirty laundry off the floor. Thing for essential too is clean up the dirty laundry off the floor, make sure the dishes are done, because those kinds of things can take a sensual type out of their body straight up into their head where they're overthinking things, and that can be a turn off and a shutdown for the sensual type. If they are thinking about what else needs to be done or the cleanup that needs to happen, or how that smell is just a little bit off. Maybe I don't really like this candle, or maybe I don't like the perfume that my lover is wearing. Those things can all be a turn off and a shutdown.

Speaker 1: 25:24

This is probably why I love sexy hotel sex, because you're going to this room that has been clean and it's perfect and it's beautiful, and you go to the restaurant and you have the tasty drinks and the nice food and then you go up to the room and it's clean and I don't have to worry about any of it because I'm leaving it behind for someone else to clean up. So that's a very sensual experience and that is a treat you could give your sensual partner. If you find out that you know, take them to do sexy hotel sex. I love that. I think this is great. I love it. Any final notes? I feel like you guys know what you need to do tonight Set the scene, clean up the house, turn the music on, explore, touch. Don't go straight for the genitals, but you can get there.

Speaker 2: 26:16

But take a very long, slow, sensual, spiraling, circuitous route before you get to the genitals. Wait until your lover's genitals are begging to be touched. Play with that energetic tease and anticipation a little bit as you're gently touching around the different parts of your lover's body, following the curves, kneading the muscles, squeezing different parts gently unless they want it more, but really taking your time and building, building, building, because for most of us, even those of us who do want to get to the fucking, who do want to get to the orgasm, the more we build it up, the more satisfying and expansive those orgasmic experiences can actually be. Yeah, faster, better, faster is not always better. More pressure, more speed, more intensity is not always better. Sometimes, really letting it build slowly, slowly and then letting that orgasm arrive, rather than chasing after it and trying to get there, is actually a more satisfying, more expansive experience that can fill the whole body and the whole room with that orgasmic energy.

Speaker 1: 27:33

The whole body and the whole room with that orgasmic energy. I find the sensual blueprint exciting. I need more of that in my life. Next week, stay tuned, because we are covering the sexual blueprint. This is going to be key, especially to my cis male listeners out there, my people with penises. You need to listen next week because you know a lot of you. Even if it's not your true blueprint, it may be your go-to. You think that's what you're supposed to be doing. So tune in next week and then come back and re-listen to the first two. But that's what we're covering next week. But can you tell everybody where to find you?

Speaker 2: 28:14

Definitely so. You can find me at embodyyoursensescom. That's my website for my erotic coaching work and somatic sex education, and you can also find me at the handle at embodyyoursenses, on both Instagram and Facebook, and if you're interested in more of the spiritual embodiment and somatic embodiment sides of my coaching work, you can find information on that at gorgebodywisecom.

Speaker 1: 28:43

And you guys know, if you want to, if you're just listening to this on an audio podcast app, you can go to my YouTube channel at Annette Benedetti and you can actually see our beautiful faces. Also, it makes it really easy for you to drop a question in the comment section below the video, which helps me keep organized my questions and like who I'm going to reach out to to get the answers to you. I have also started coaching people who are struggling in their own intimate life connection with their partners. People who are struggling in their own intimate life connection with their partners. Uh, you can find out more about that by going to talk sex with Annettecom. I'll drop a link. You can also reach out to me directly just for questions or to find out more about it at Annette, at talk sex with Annettecom. Um and so until next week I'll see y'all in the locker room. Cheers.