Starve the Ego Feed the Soul
Starve the Ego Feed the Soul
From Amazon Prime to Healthy Love: How We Decide What To Believe
What happens when love is more about what we receive than what we give? In our latest episode, we dive into the complex and often misunderstood world of modern love and relationships. We start by dissecting a provocative post by mindfulness educator Case Kenny, challenging the notion of the "purest form of love" as one centered on receiving rather than giving. By examining how social media and technology influence our views, we highlight the importance of mutual love and the acceptance of imperfections, encouraging a shift in focus from external validation to internal growth.
Relationships require a delicate balance between supporting a partner and fostering self-reliance. This episode tackles the challenge head-on, advocating for mutual growth and self-healing. We critique the growing trend of victim mentality in relationship advice, stressing the importance of self-responsibility and managing one's own burdens. By seeing relationships as a collaborative dance, where both partners contribute equally to mutual growth, we foster healthier, more balanced connections.
Building and sustaining love takes continuous effort and commitment. We emphasize that love is not an instantaneous event but a process requiring self-awareness, accountability, and mutual support. Addressing modern misconceptions about love, we highlight the dangers of relying on quick fixes or external validation. As we wrap up, we express our gratitude for our listeners, inviting them to reflect on what truly lasts in life and to focus on building meaningful, lasting connections. Join us for a heartfelt discussion on nurturing love that stands the test of time.
Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com
Keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing. And I need you to be a minister for a moment and find somebody sitting in your general vicinity. Look them dead in the eyes if they owe you $20, and tell them neighbor, whatever you do, keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing. It's hard to keep pushing in the world that we're living in right now. How is one supposed to find serenity and sanity and strength in the world we live in right now I keep pushing on an interview with a guest.
Speaker 2:I'll try to do a solo episode during the week, but if I don't have an interview with the guests I'll just do one solo episode, if that makes sense, but definitely still have a lot to talk about. I wanted to focus today on the idea of love in general in our current culture specifically. I usually just speak from the Western perspective because that's the culture I was raised and grew up in, but this kind of applies pretty much all over the world now. Anyone, any culture at least, that has technology the internet, tiktok, instagram that's been influenced by others, especially our culture here in the US. I was reading this post earlier today. I'm actually going to bring it up really quick so I can read it. And it's by this well-known account who I'm actually going to bring it up really quick so I can read it. And it's by this well-known account who I've actually agreed with a handful of stuff.
Speaker 2:This gentleman's post, it's Case Kenny. You guys probably know who he is. He's got a million followers, says he's a mindfulness educator. He's got a podcast called New Mindset. Who dis you know, very hip, hip dude as far as his content. But I content, but, um, I I don't agree with a lot of the stuff this guy writes. Like I think, um, I think, as people that work in mental health and relational health, especially on the internet, when you have a lot of following, like a big, big following you you should have the honest to really write stuff from a holistic perspective at all times, and that's really hard. It takes a really talented, very aware person to do that. I know most people probably have the best intentions, but a lot of times I'll read posts and it'll be very focused on like one side of the situation and there's not a lot of empathy in that. Right, because it's kind of preaching to the choir, if you will. It allows people to associate with this like me mentality oh, this is me, this is me, this is me, I'm going to attach to it, right, okay, but then what about the other person? What about their perspective? What about how they love? What about how they feel like they're loving, how they receive, how they give love? So I'm just going to read these posts and I'll kind of read my my comments on it, cause I think I want to start here and then I want to get into what I want to talk about, which this is a good lead into it. So this was posted just 16 hours ago, so it's the 24th of September today, so I'm going to launch this in a couple days. You can go back and find this post if you want to read my comments in real time.
Speaker 2:So he says the purest form of love is when someone pays attention to what makes you anxious and does their best to ease it. The purest form of love is when someone joins in your weirdness and takes it to an even weirder level. The purest form of love is when someone plans dates or moments based on things you've mentioned wanting to try. The purest form of love is when someone knows your sarcasm is a love language and responds fluently. The purest form of love is when someone's second nature response to your problems is let's solve it together Interesting. The purest form of love is when someone does the hard work of healing their wounds so they don't cause you any pain. That's a true statement. I think the purest form of love is someone is patient with you, with your overthinking, and never makes you feel like a burden. It's also an interesting perspective. The purest form of love is when someone proves their promises aren't just for show. And then he has a little picture of his book at the end, because obviously this is selling his book, of course.
Speaker 2:So this is my comment and I said man, this love pretty much always focuses on what we are getting and not giving. It doesn't seem super pure, it just seems very self-focused. The purest form of love is shared. If we consistently just focus on how others can show up for us, we lose track of showing up for another and then it becomes dependent on another's behaviors to be called love. Also, if you love someone, it's pure. Folks, don't ever let anyone tell you it's any less pure because it isn't healthy or perfect or functional all the time. Love is never perfect. It is full of wretched things, just like we are, because love is a human experience. And then I had a handful of people commenting, agreeing with what I was saying, and one lady disagreed. She said it's perspective, which I don't think it is a perspective thing.
Speaker 2:Let me just go back to the slides because I want to kind of address each slide, because some of them I agree with and some of them are just really kind of ridiculous. So, first of all, I don't agree with, like saying, the purest form of love. Like you either love someone or you don't. Right, love is love and of course, sometimes we mistake love for lust, and love can also really border on hatred too, like those are two sides of the same coin, because you can love something and then hate it in a moment too. That doesn't mean you don't love it. But let's go through these slides.
Speaker 2:The purest form of love is when someone pays attention to what makes you anxious and does their best to ease it. I don't disagree with this, but I think that it really is like the impetus is on the person that's experiencing the anxiety to handle their own shit. So love is handling your own shit, so the other person doesn't have to keep handling your shit for you. Because that's codependency and that's also fucked up, because you're basically saying accept me for who I am. If you don't love me for who I am, then I'm not good enough or it's on you, right, you can't accept me.
Speaker 2:I'm like well, what if you're a shitty person or you're experiencing a shitty thing and you're just dumping it on your partner, like, what does that say about how you're loving, right? And so I think this is implying like someone, like if someone's not easing your anxiety. It's no one's responsibility, folks, to ease your anxiety, your depression, your shit from childhood, your past relationships, how your parents are treating you or not treating you, your relationship with your kids or any of that. No one knows responsibility. Obviously, a good partner is going to maybe, maybe add to that, but I wouldn't say that has anything to do with love. I mean, it's not anyone's responsibility to fix your shit, period. It's not right. And so you could potentially be around someone that just does everything for you and that's just not. That's. That seems really unhealthy to me, because what do you? How you showed up for them? I guess if both people are doing this at the same time, that might seem somewhat like a healthier dance in my mind, but it's not implied, because it's really just focused on what someone can do for you and not what you're doing for somebody else. Right, and what you're doing for somebody else is maybe not bringing your shit into the relationship every day. Because you have a lot of anxiety, because you have a lot of depression, maybe you're going to therapy, maybe you're doing, maybe you're doing, mindfulness training, maybe you're doing ice baths, maybe you're doing all these things that are actually helping you be less anxious so you can show up and be a better partner. That is the perspective that I think should be noted here. So this is the second one.
Speaker 2:The purest form of love is when someone joins in your weirdness and takes it to an even weirder level. I mean, this is kind of even like a weird comment, like weirdness is like obviously that's a subjective statement, so I get it. This is like a quippy, kind of like cutesy comments, um, but like someone taking your weirdness to the next level. I mean, I, I guess, dude, I don't know. It seems kind of like I'm a hellody, weird ass person, but I don't expect someone that loves me to take my weirdness to the next level. She's going to have her own weirdness and we share the weirdness together and maybe the weirdness rubs off a little bit. But her weirdness isn't going to be my weirdness. She's an individual, so she's certainly not responsible for amplifying mine. I have that myself, I can assure you, and vice versa. So I guess I think I'm looking in too deeply to this particular comment, so I don't really have much to say on it, but it just seems kind of weird. Okay, this one is interesting.
Speaker 2:The purest form of love is when someone plans dates or moments based on things you've mentioned wanting to try. Now, that's cool, that's thoughtfulness, right. Hell yeah, we should do that for them too. That's a good listener, that's being thoughtful, right on. Don't disagree with that case.
Speaker 2:The purest form of love is when someone knows your sarcasm is a love language and responds fluently. Now, this I have a problem with because I'm a very sarcastic person. But a lot of times our sarcasm can hide other things. It can hide resentment, it can hide anger, it can hide animosity. Now, sometimes, as being a sarcastic person, I'm just joking around, but other times I know that it's part of my shadow, that I'll be sarcastic when really I'm pissed off or someone's fucking, you know, doing something that I don't like, right, and then I'm shutting down, I'm not communicating, or maybe I've communicated and they're not listening, and so I'm just going to. It's going to turn to sarcasm, right, and so I don't agree with this comment fully, like, I don't think someone understanding our sarcasm has anything to do with love. It's just a communication thing, right, and so I guess healthy communication, sure, you can say that's part of love. But but those, those are all like outside things, like love is love Right.
Speaker 2:And so if you, you can be an unhealthy communicatorating the purity of love with understanding sarcasm or amplifying it, and so when you're putting this like pressure on someone and saying, like your, your sarcasm is a love language, I mean, come on, dude, I don't know, I communicate sarcastically all the time, but like this seems like a stretch. It seems like a stretch to tell someone like, hey, you have to be at my sarcasm level, or if you don't, it's not pure love, it's like, no, it's called compatibility, broski, go out there and find someone that is also sarcastic, that you can dance with and that, and then you don't have to worry about it. But let's say you fall in love with someone that isn't as sarcastic as you. It doesn't mean they love you any less, it doesn't mean it's any less healthy, they're just a different person. This whole post is just like saying you got to fall in love with someone just like yourself, and that's really egotistical and inflated. And trust me, I've thought like that for a long time. I'm like all these boxes I have on my dating profile, well, I'm just trying to chuck these off and find someone just like me. And then I woke up and I'm like what the fuck that is so self-entitled, self-righteous? Everybody is different Everyone. So I want to find someone that I'm compatible with, not someone that's like me. That's also be quite boring. You don't learn or grow in a situation if you date someone just like yourself. Other people have things to teach you because there's differences.
Speaker 2:The purest form of love is when someone's second nature response to your problem is let's solve it together. Well, this is a very like masculine approach, for sure, and I understand that, and I'm talking about masculine energy as a whole, because, like, women can fill this role too, and I think it's healthy in some aspects. Sure, but again, the purest form of love is someone's second nature response to it. I don't, you can't always solve your partner's problems everybody. You shouldn't, right? It's really codependent to do that.
Speaker 2:Now, you can be there and be like hey, if there's anything I can do, let's talk about it. But also, you got to let baby fly, you know, really you do, and that doesn't mean ignoring them and doesn't mean dismissing their problems. But ultimately, you can be as supportive as possible. But you have your own life and your own problems too, and you share those together. Sure, but at the end of the day. If you have a partner that's not getting up for their feet or getting off their knees, getting off the ground and dusting themselves off and walking forward, then you're just going to be dragging them the whole time and that's not a partner. That's not a dance, right? So we need to think about it this way. It's always about how to think about the giving side as well as the receiving side, and it's not just perspective, because this post doesn't acknowledge that other side, so it's really just a one-sided thing, which is what I have problems with.
Speaker 2:Some of these creators on the internet and some of this guy's content. I'm like this is awesome. And, again, I'm imperfect too. I'm sure I've missed loops when I'm writing stuff, but it's important for people to comment on my post too, because, again, that's how we grow. It's an incubator for thought and for feeling, for progression. If we just like literally just read someone's words and take them matter of fact and we absorb them. Well, that's how we get stuck in this like victim culture of like everything's about me, me, me, me, me, and that's just not how fucking relationships should be working at all. So I don't really just I don't agree with this slide in particular. All right, the purest form of love is when someone does the hard work of their healing wounds so they don't cause you any pain. Hell yeah, this fucking piece is great If you just wrote this like this is. I'm down with this dude. Like this should trump all the other ones because it just should, but like it doesn't. It doesn't relate to the other ones because the other ones are standalone.
Speaker 2:So that's that's why I like, but this one's yeah it's like all right, they work on their healing so they don't cause you pain. But guess what? You should also work on your healing so you don't bring your shit or your shadow or your pain rampantly into someone else's life and fuck their fucking piece up either. Okay, and so that's what we need to understand about these posts is it's not implied to look at the mirror, it's implied to look at the other, and that is that's the problem. Right, we're just looking at the other. Oh, my ex is a narcissist, or my parents are this or that. All right, all right, dude, we got it. We got it. You've been hurt. Okay, right, you've been hurt a lot. Most of us have not every single human being. What are you going to do with it? And are you going to still be a shitty person and attract the same thing over and over again? Because, let me tell you, if you keep attracting shitty partners I got to be honest that doesn't mean you're like this infallible, amazing human being. There's a reason you're doing that Like. You're mirroring that behavior in some way. I guarantee you Like go to a good therapist, not someone that's just going to stick you in a silo and help you victimize yourself and say, hey, you should totally feel that way, but someone that's actually going to call you out and call you forward and call you into healing. They're going to be like, hey, okay, how'd you get yourself into this? Where is that coming from? And it's not just you didn't see the red flags. That's not for real dude. If anyone tells you, hey, honey, it's just you didn't see the red flags, that's a scapegoat mentality. It's more than that. It's a lot deeper than you just didn't see the red flags, because you have red flags in yourself too.
Speaker 2:The purest form of love is someone. This is a typo. The purest form of love is when someone is patient with your overthinking and never makes you feel like a burden. All right, I'm an overthinker. I overthink the shit out of everything. I'm also incredibly hard self-critic. Because of that, I can be very critical of people around me that I love.
Speaker 2:This slide I don't agree with at all. I don't think anybody has to be patient with your overthinking. I think you're a grown-ass adult and you need to be responsible for it. My overthinking and my internal critic has run rampant in many of my closest relationships. I've had to learn, and I'm still learning, how to deal with it, how to cope with it, how to soften it. It serves a purpose, because I'm a perfectionist and I'm a hard worker and I'm very type A. Obviously you don't become a pro athlete or you don't become very good at things if you don't have those qualities.
Speaker 2:But also, there's always a shadow side to every positive. That's how it exists in our world, in the human world. That's why love has wretched shadowy things in it too. It's not just always perfect and pure. It doesn't mean it's not love. Love can have hatred in it too. Believe it or not, it's still love. But that's why we get to choose.
Speaker 2:We're sentient beings, we have consciousness. So in my consciousness I can realize I'm an overthinker and I don't have to require my partner to pick up that burden. It's not about making me feel like a burden. I am a fucking burden if I'm overthinking all the time and putting it on my partner Like, come on Case, come on bro. Like if you're fucking overthinking and you're just like legitimately critical human being and you have a partner and you're requiring that partner to not make you feel like a burden. Dude, you got to show up with your shadow, you got to freaking, be present with that. It's not your partner's responsibility Now, obviously, beautiful Partner holds space and they're like, but after a while it's going to get old, they're going to build resentment.
Speaker 2:So call people in, let's change it. Let's change the overthinking pattern. Let's be accountable. Let's be responsible for who we are, for what we're doing, for our thoughts, for our patterns. Let's be responsible for the choices we're making. Let's take that route instead of looking at how someone else can self-soothe us and heal us. The purest form of love is when someone proves their promises aren't just for show. Yeah, All right.
Speaker 2:Amen. And that's just being honorable of your word. Right, your actions are aligning with your word. That doesn't happen a lot in modern relationships Well, it doesn't happen a lot in relationships in general. But when it does, you're like all right, there's integrity here. And let me just say something about integrity Just because you've made a mistake or you've lied or you've done something wrong or you've done that doesn't mean you can't, you can't have integrity. Start now. Admit you're wrong, apologize, right. We're all going to make mistakes, so it's not about being this perfect. I have so much integrity I'll never fuck up. That's not how it works, dude. We all fuck up, all of us but integrity catches that sooner and sooner and sooner, every time it says you know what? I'm sorry. This is why I did this, right. This is why I lied, this is why I didn't show up, this is why, whatever and it's not about making excuses, it's just about honoring it, apologizing and owning it and then changing the behavior, moving forward, right.
Speaker 2:For instance, people manipulate a lot. There's a lot of manipulation in relationships, and that isn't holding up to a promise, right. Sometimes you can make it seem like you're holding up to a promise because it makes you feel better about your manipulation because you're trying to get what you want or trying to get something out of the person, but that's not holding up to a promise, right, but that doesn't seem like it's lying. It doesn't seem like it's doing something bad, but it is. Manipulation is probably one of the biggest killers of relationships or relational health, and a lot of times manipulation comes we're taught it in childhood or it comes because we're resentful of something or we haven't gotten something, so we're going to manipulate our way to get it because we don't think we can get it any other way. All right, so those are his posts. That's how I responded to it.
Speaker 2:Now I just want to chat about why I think our love these days and how we love or let's just talk about relating, but like love in the context, obviously, of relationships, because it's different love when you're a parent, different love when you're a brother or sister, but love in the context of relationships is really like Amazon prime these days. It really is. So the way we relate is I want to find a partner, I want to click a button, I want to get two day shipping, I want that shit to be for free, I want it to be on my doorstep tomorrow night even, and I don't want to do much for it. Maybe I'll pay a little monthly fee, you know. But I want that. I want that shit here. I want it right now. And because I want it right now, I should get it right now. I'm entitled to getting it right now. So give it to me. That's how we love right now.
Speaker 2:A lot of times, and that's not, that's not healthy. Love is built over time. You don't just fall into love, you build up love, and you can't just it isn't just keep stay up there. You sustain love by continuing to work on the foundation, the structure of the for using a house or a building of the building over time. Both of you, right, think about being on like a general contractor, construction team and together love is building and constructing that home over and over again, together, because there will be storms, fuck, there will be a hurricane, something will happen, inevitably. But love can persevere that if both people can stay in that. And also, sometimes you fall out of love, and that's okay too. That's not non-human. That doesn't mean your love is shitty or the person that you're falling out of love with has any less worth. Sometimes it just happens.
Speaker 2:But if you truly want to stay in love, you have to work, you have to give, you have to give, you have to get off your ass and not click a button and expect Amazon to ship you the love. You have to go get it, baby. You have to work for it. Love is a commitment to work. It's a craft. We are not born taught how to love. That's ridiculous, right, it's ridiculous. We're just born figuring out how to survive, right. We're depending on our parents. We're an animal that has to be dependent on our parents for at least the first five to six years of our lives, you know, and depending on who our parents are and how they love. That's how we learn how to love. Right, all these different influences. But if you really want to love well and you want to be in healthy love, learn how to give and also learn that.
Speaker 2:All these terms on the internet, like red flags or like narcissism or all this other shit, just stop even using them, throwing them around so loosely that you're going to be able to get rid of them. You're just trying to use them to put blame on somebody, to lower the accountability threshold on yourself. Don't do any of that. Make sure you're just focused on you and what you're doing and how you're giving, how you're showing up, how you're receiving too, because, don't forget, it's not just about how you're giving, it's also about how you're receiving. I mean, sometimes I'm pretty bad at receiving love, depending on who's giving it to me, you know, and it's something I'm consistently trying to be aware of Again, being mindful, noting oh why am I triggered by this? Why am I shutting down by this? Why am I angry by this? Right, you know, and maybe it's just the situation I'm in too, and then it's about okay, I need to remove myself from the situation of this person, and sometimes, maybe it's just about yo, I'm just consistently avoiding stuff too. You know, maybe I'm just not being accountable for my feelings, maybe I'm not being accountable for my anxiety, my depression or whatever you know, to use this guy's words.
Speaker 2:So let's stop looking at love through a 2024 Amazon Prime lens. Let's look at it through a 1930s Great Depression lens. You have nothing. You have to build it from nothing together. First, you start with yourself. You have to build love inside, and if you got a shitty situation, if you're not making a lot of money, if you've lost your job. If there's something going on in your life deeply, you got to start there. You got to somehow breathe love into that, inch by inch, work on it. You don't have to be fully healed or fully perfect to be in a relationship, just like my friend Jillian Turecki says you don't, you don't have to be, but you do have to be working on your shit. Because if you're not and you're just like, accept me for who I am, here's a bag of poop and someone's like oh, thanks, right, I mean it's just like that's just up, dude. I mean in my mind that's like an abusive way to live. So chances are, if you're listening to the show, you're not that kind of person. But maybe you've loved someone like that, maybe you know somebody like that, maybe you've been like that in the past and you're trying to change it, maybe you're currently changing, and kudos to you for doing that, because that's what I'm all about is growth, moving forward, progression, right, not left, not right forward, all right, well, hopefully this is helpful to all you out there.
Speaker 2:I love having a podcast. I love being able to talk about this stuff. Of course, all this stuff is, you know, it's mostly my opinion, but I try to be as fair and unbiased as possible. I try to catch my own shadow as much as I can. I think when you look at people that have really large followings in this sort of work on the internet, a lot of times the people with the largest followings are the ones that consistently focus on, like, the victimization of someone, and so they get this huge following of someone being like rah, rah, rah. Yeah, I'm a victim, I'm like this, like narcissism, like this, this, this, this and that. What really impresses me is when someone can build a really large following because people are aligning with their content.
Speaker 2:But it also focuses on calling out the viewer, saying like hey, it's not just that you didn't see the red flags, boo, it's that you got some red flags. It's that you got a lot of shit in there, it's that you also have been abusive, you also have been manipulative. You also have done these things. You also have shut down and been cold and shut off your love. How do we warm that part of your soul up? It's not just about the other person making mistakes that put you there. Let's see how you picked them. Let's see how you engage in that behavior. Let's how to. How do we soften it? How do we pick better partners? How do we be better partners, right? So I think that's how we move forward. I think that's how we create better relationships.
Speaker 2:You know, when people talk about the divorce rate and the separation rate and all this stuff, you know, I think that's happening for a lot of reasons. Um, one, I think the internet, social media and online dating and all these consistent, like different options and all these that certainly hasn't helped people stay faithful. But I also think that, like the way we're relating now today is, is very much just focused on what we can get and not how we can show up and sacrifice and give to, and that is part of love. That's literally like that's part of it. It's service. You know, serve. You should be here to serve really and not in a way where you're just throwing your entire self away. You don't have any self-worth, right.
Speaker 2:But that's something that's always attracted me, I'd say, to the military and again, I don't agree with a lot of things that the American government and the US military have done, but the act of service, to be there for other people. I've always been attracted to that mindset and that's the same thing if you think about like a lot of religions. I mean when you're steeped in like the light of the religion and not like the persecution or like our religion is more truer than yours or our God or whatever. That's bullshit. But like the service, the act of service to show up for a stranger, to be there for someone in need, whether you're related to them or not, whether you know them or not, that service that is like. That is, I think, in my mind. If we're going to talk about purity of love, that is pure love, right there. Right, that's God. Right. Entirety of love, the entirety of, like the goodness we can be. That's it, right there, that's the epitome.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening. I appreciate y'all. If you wouldn't mind, I ask this every episode, but if you haven't yet, leave the show a five-star written review on Apple and Spotify podcasts just after the show ends. Just go do it. It takes two seconds. It really helps get the show up in the ratings and the rankings and just pop it into more ears out there all over the world. Um man, I think it's. I think we're around like almost a hundred hours, 100 hours recorded so far.
Speaker 2:Actually, let me just pull this up. I've been wanting to do this for a little bit before I let you guys go. Every episode we get viewers from all over the world. It's crazy, it's so awesome. Just the last episode. I want to name all the countries that we've gotten so far United States, united Kingdom, australia, canada, latvia, sweden, germany, iceland, poland, portugal, netherlands, south Africa, austria, mexico, United Arab Emirates, japan, france, hong Kong, new Zealand, norway, finland, indonesia, switzerland, romania, slovakia let's fucking go, baby. And I've had episodes that have way more countries than that too. So it's uh, yeah, it's cool. It's cool.
Speaker 2:All y'all are out there listening. Um, hopefully, hopefully, you stick around, hopefully you tell your friends and, uh, I appreciate y'all. And man, it's uh, it's so dope how podcasts can like just jump borders because they, they truly really don't exist. We just made them up. Um, so, to all my brothers and sisters out there listening, thank you so much for being here. I'm humbled to be in your presence, in your ears, when you're driving to work, driving home, picking up your kids, going to your date, hanging out at home with your animals or just taking a walk outside riding your bike. Whatever you're doing right now, thank you for being here with me. You are appreciated. I hope you've enjoyed this episode and I'll see you soon.
Speaker 1:You gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for tuning in to Star of the Eagle Feed the Soul. Please leave us a five-star written review on Apple and Spotify podcast. It's a free way you can give back the show and show your support and, as always, if you want to work with me one-on-one, head over to wwwnicoborazacom.