Ever been judged harshly and wondered how to overcome the sting of those negative words? I'm here to tell you that often, those harsh judgments are reflective of unresolved pain within the person speaking and not a reflection of you at all. Remember, your story is the one that truly matters, not the one they've created from the cheap seats.
As I share my personal experiences with judgment these past few weeks, you'll discover how I learned to protect my energy and refuse to entertain negativity, focusing instead on what truly matters - myself, my faith, my children, and my dreams. It's a journey of learning to elevate oneself above the darkness within someone else, and I hope my story resonates with you and helps you navigate your own experiences.
We'll discuss how to keep our focus where it matters most - our personal journey - and not allow the opinions of others to shift it. I hope that this episode empowers you to face any judgment or negativity with grace and resilience.
Ever been judged harshly and wondered how to overcome the sting of those negative words? I'm here to tell you that often, those harsh judgments are reflective of unresolved pain within the person speaking and not a reflection of you at all. Remember, your story is the one that truly matters, not the one they've created from the cheap seats.
As I share my personal experiences with judgment these past few weeks, you'll discover how I learned to protect my energy and refuse to entertain negativity, focusing instead on what truly matters - myself, my faith, my children, and my dreams. It's a journey of learning to elevate oneself above the darkness within someone else, and I hope my story resonates with you and helps you navigate your own experiences.
We'll discuss how to keep our focus where it matters most - our personal journey - and not allow the opinions of others to shift it. I hope that this episode empowers you to face any judgment or negativity with grace and resilience.
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Speaker 1:
Welcome back to the Elevate with Erica podcast. I'm your host, erica. I'm so excited to get into the topic today with you guys. First, I want to take a quick moment to touch on a couple things. First, if you've been following my social media or if you're on my newsletter list that goes out weekly, I have launched a new website. She's just a baby right now, but the first blog post is up. Merchandise is coming. Folks, I'm working on a journal to help others Going through a challenging season. Just get back in the driver's seat of their life. I'm also working on some wearable merch that will keep you motivated throughout the day, but you'll have to wait and see on that. I'm dropping the link to my website in the show notes, but I also have it in the link in my bio on all my social channels. I'm really passionate, especially about this journal right now. You guys know I'm going through a hard season and I'm creating this from my experience in it right now and what's getting me out of bed day to day. I'm just excited to take this pain and this experience that I'm going through and put it into something that can help others. The second thing I know I have so many new listeners on the podcast and YouTube and I would so appreciate it, if you guys are vibing with the show, if you will just take a quick minute it really just takes a quick minute to leave a rating and review and then that helps me get this show in front of more people and spread light and inspiration to those seeking it. Also, if you know a friend who may love this show too, then share it with one person today or share it on your social media stories and tag me so that I can personally thank you.
Speaker 1:
All right, so let's get into this, shall we? I want to talk about not being tempted to respond to people who are saying judgmental, unkind and untrue things about you. I want us to rise above those things. I want us to be so high up on another level that that negative energy doesn't even come close to shifting our own.
Speaker 1:
Whether the unkindness is directed at something that you're going through, how you're getting through it, or maybe their comments are over something that you are pursuing, or maybe their negative comments are just over the way you live your life in general, your hate has landed on you Know that it's just highlighting unresolved and unhealed pain within themselves, and your growth is either making them feel worse about themselves or making them wish that they had the same changes in their own life. So their unkind words have very little, or maybe even nothing, to do with you. I know that it's super tempting to join them. I know that that can be our initial reaction, just to throw hate back and to put energy into defending yourself. But here's the thing they know exactly what they are doing. That's exactly the response they want you to have. Don't let them take you for a fool. They are trying to steal some of the light that you're exuding and they want you to join them in their darkness. They want you to feel the way that they do inside. And what happens there? Well, hate, gossip, gossip and competition. Live at that low level vibration where they're hanging out the place they're trying to get you to. Is that really what you want to be spending your energy on and your undetermined amount of days left here on earth? Because I want more for you, I want more for us and I know that you want more for you too.
Speaker 1:
I have been on the receiving end of some judgment lately for the way that I'm processing my pain and my grief during this hard season that I'm in, and so I know firsthand how hard it is to not participate, and I haven't done it perfectly. I have participated in some instances. Gossip can be painful and words can hurt, and I'm not here to judge you for being hurt by them, because I was too. I'm just hoping that we can learn from those times and do better next time, and you and I both know that you could never say anything to those people that will change their opinion of you, and I don't want people in my life that I have to defend my name to anyway. So why let them have our energy? That's energy that could be spent on what really matters to me Right now me, my boys, my faith and the business that I'm building are the top priorities in my life and they need all the love and attention from me right now, because those are the things that are actually going to carry me through the hard days that are in front of me. Those are the things I'm nurturing right now, and what I'm about to say may sound a little extra, but I rather be extra than less, so I'm just going to say it.
Speaker 1:
You have to put yourself on a pedestal. When you hear someone has been gossiping about you, you have to say, first, I'm better than that, I will not engage with that and I refuse to be associated with that person. And second, don't even create a conversation, a narrative, where your name and their name are in the same sentence together. Okay, we are not about to entertain that. One thing I've learned over the past few weeks and feeling judged, in losing followers, in seeing people increase their distance from me because of what I'm going through is that you have to just be okay with being the villain in their story because their story is not the story. Their story is not the story. Your story is the story. Just because they are driving out of their lane doesn't mean you need to risk your peace and do the same. Stay in your lane. No one knows your story, my friend. No one knows what it's like to walk in your shoes. No one knows what's going on behind closed doors. They may think they do right. I mean, even social media makes people think that they know what is going on in someone else's life just because they saw some cute little boxes of your life. Based on that, they're ready to judge away. Or you see that family member twice a year for the holidays and they think they know enough to tell you everything you could be doing better.
Speaker 1:
Sometimes people gossip about you because it makes them look better to the people that are around them. They will put you down to make themselves look good. But two things, friend. One they don't know anything that is actually going on in your life and they know what they are doing by judging you on just a little bit. They do know and they get to live with the unhappiness that comes with that judgment of others and they get to lay their head down on their pillow at night with that. And two, they won't convince anyone who deserves a place in your life of anything that is untrue about you. Those people know and love you and will see right through that gossip and if they're really great friends, they will even defend your name in rooms that you aren't in. Instead of wasting your energy on defending yourself against the people who are defending yourself against untrue things, let's spend that energy on attracting friends who defend your name when you're not in the room.
Speaker 1:
So three reasons people may judge you that don't have anything to do with you Projection of their own failures. And unresolved pain, because often we, when others judge or criticize, it reflects their own unresolved pain, failures and regrets. It's that darkness within themselves. Your growth and progress may remind them of what they haven't achieved or the changes they haven't had the courage to make in their own lives. You're reminding them of the life they're choosing to settle for, the one they're unhappy in. And two lack of understanding. Sometimes they just don't comprehend your journey or choices and they react with judgment. Their opinions are formed by our individual life experiences and if they've had such a vastly different life experience than you. They may just not understand your choices, but that also doesn't mean that it's your responsibility to make them understand.
Speaker 1:
And three creating a superior image. Find people belittle others to create a sense of superiority and gain validation from those who are around you. By putting you down, they attempt to elevate themselves in the eyes of the people in their own lives. So three ways to rise above the judgment from others. One prioritize your self-awareness. This is something I've really been working on. Know your worth and stand firm in your values, your boundaries and your standards for your life. Don't just have boundaries. Stand behind your boundaries. Baseless accusations don't deserve your time.
Speaker 1:
Start the energy you spend on defending yourself towards what truly matters in your life. Focus on your faith and your passions and your relationships that deserve your love and attention and another great thing about that is focusing on those things will actually get you through the hard time that you may find yourself in. Surround yourself with a supportive circle. Cultivate relationships with people who understand and appreciate you. Take friendships that defend your character and uplift you in your journey, and it just takes a couple good ones. Be the light and stay kind. Choose kindness even in the face of unkindness. It's not an easy choice, but it's a choice and I want you to think of this episode next time you're faced with that choice. Let your actions and words reflect your true character, regardless of how someone else is treating you. Don't let the negativity harden your heart. The world needs more kindness and we have the power to contribute to that.
Speaker 1:
Prioritize your energy and your peace. I mean, especially if you're going through a hard time already. Right, you have to prioritize your peace in those times. I made the shifts. I've been going through a difficult time for close to nine weeks now and about halfway through it, I realized that in order to survive this challenging time without wanting to be a hermit, hide under my covers, crying every hour I was going to need to figure out how to prioritize my peace. You need it to survive and thrive through whatever you're going through. Don't let them derail your healing. Don't let them derail your progress. Don't let them steal the blessings trying to come into your life. Walk into every situation like God's netting you there, and it won't matter what anyone else has to say, because you are too busy fulfilling God's plans for you to hear their chatter.
Speaker 1:
I want to close with one last day I have promised myself in this season that I won't let this pain harden my heart, and I have to remind myself of this constantly, daily at least. Whether you're in a challenging season or not. I know we have all been on the receiving end of unkind words and I want to take you through this with me, something I've been repeating to myself daily when this happens to you, don't give someone else the power to harden your heart. Change the way in which you see the world and change your approach to future relationships. Do not give them that I'm striving to, even through this pain. And when I make it to the other side of this because I know this is temporary Whatever you're going through, remember that it is temporary.
Speaker 1:
Continue being a kind person, a person who loves hard, who keeps their arms open, who craves connection and who is hugely compassionate to others, who sees opportunities to help others, who smiles at a stranger in a grocery store and who knows that a smile and a compliment can go a long way. The kind of person who I, who you, have wished for. During the darkest days, no matter what someone says about us, can we keep our kind heart and rise above that noise of judgment. That's what I hope sticks with you from this episode, because the world could use more kindness. Don't let the hard stuff harden your heart. Don't let bitterness steal your kindness. Let it make you better, not bitter. Thank you for joining me on the episode of Elevate with Erica. Remember that your story is the one that truly matters, not the story they've created from the cheap seats. Stay strong, stay true to yourself and keep elevating Until next episode. Friends E I have to tell you guys about a new meat delivery subscription service I'm using.
Speaker 1:
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