Next stop: exit the HOT MESS EXPRESS! Let's talk about the reality of what being in survival mode does to us physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Ever felt like you're just getting by, reacting to one thing after another? I get it. We've all been there. But in this episode, I'm sharing my personal journey and actionable steps to help you shift from surviving to thriving.
Join me as we explore the signs of survival mode, understand its impact, and embark on a mindset transformation. We're not just talking theory; I'm opening up about my own experiences, making this episode a conversation between us friends.
I'll walk you through practical steps – from defining your vision to setting realistic goals, cultivating healthy habits, and building a support system. Let's not forget the importance of embracing learning, growth, and gratitude on this exciting journey.
Feeling stuck? Tune in now and discover the keys to reclaiming your life, celebrating victories, and living a life that resonates with your dreams. It's time to thrive, and I'm here with you every step of the way.
Ready to start living a life that excites you? Hit play and let's elevate together!
Next stop: exit the HOT MESS EXPRESS! Let's talk about the reality of what being in survival mode does to us physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Ever felt like you're just getting by, reacting to one thing after another? I get it. We've all been there. But in this episode, I'm sharing my personal journey and actionable steps to help you shift from surviving to thriving.
Join me as we explore the signs of survival mode, understand its impact, and embark on a mindset transformation. We're not just talking theory; I'm opening up about my own experiences, making this episode a conversation between us friends.
I'll walk you through practical steps – from defining your vision to setting realistic goals, cultivating healthy habits, and building a support system. Let's not forget the importance of embracing learning, growth, and gratitude on this exciting journey.
Feeling stuck? Tune in now and discover the keys to reclaiming your life, celebrating victories, and living a life that resonates with your dreams. It's time to thrive, and I'm here with you every step of the way.
Ready to start living a life that excites you? Hit play and let's elevate together!
Hello friends, and welcome to another episode of Elevate with Erica. Today I want to shake you out of survival mode. I feel like we start getting into that mode around the holidays and then I'm seeing sort of a slow start to the year for many, because of either you're struggling to stick to your resolutions or you're feeling defeated by the challenge that comes from the growth with those or gosh. I just feel like, do we all not know someone right now who is sick? There's like a head cold going around. I have so many online friends who are sick and this episode is for you If you are in survival mode now or need some back pocket inspiration for the next time you find yourself there.
Speaker 1:
When I was in the thick of my tough season late last summer, early fall, I was full on just only trying to survive each day without crying on the bathroom floor, without eating my weight in chips and dip and drinking my weight in wine or spending money that I don't have on retail therapy, and to do at least the bare minimum to get my business running, so that I didn't lose that too, while also being the mom that my kids needed and it was touch and go y'all Like it was not a good look. It was full on survival mode, and if you follow me on social media, you know that I still haven't fully returned to the presence that I once had on there. I'm still trying to get into that creative space that posting regularly with purpose requires, and that's my business, like that's my storefront, and so that's a problem that I'm actually working on. But survival mode is not just a funny caption for a photo or saying on a shirt or a hat or a coffee mug. It's not fun when you find yourself in a survival mode season and you're aware of it and you can't shake it off, and it's that feeling of just getting by, constantly reacting to circumstances. And in that space you can also get this heightened awareness of the good things happening for everyone else right and you feel like when am I going to catch my break? When can I just even catch my breath? It's kind of when that self talk kicks in of what is wrong with me and well, when this happens, things will be better, and after this, then this next month, things will get better. I just have to get through this first and then, except the then and the when start to take way longer than you thought right, pushed farther and farther out, and you kind of get stuck in this cycle of only doing what it takes to survive and then wondering why you're just barely surviving and everyone else is thriving, seemingly. But today we're going to explore how to break free from that cycle and truly thrive, and that first requires us to stop bragging about being on the hot mess express right. I want us to own what being in a season like this is doing to us.
Speaker 1:
Survival mode takes a toll on our mental, emotional and physical well-being. It's no wonder you're not moving on your New Year's resolutions the way that you hoped you'd be. It's no wonder you feel exhausted. It's no wonder you're more prone to illness. It's no wonder that you're so dang tired right? This episode, though, it's not about beating ourselves up for finding us here in the survival state, but it's more about being aware of it, so that we can work to get ourselves out of it and to shake it off. That's what I want this episode to help you do.
Speaker 1:
Today, and in the thick of my survival mode, there was a reason why I could continue showing up for my workouts, and no, it's not because it was my job. I could have told people that I had a lot going on. Right, I could have gotten a pass. I had an excuse there. They would have said you're going through a lot, take a break, don't be so hard on yourself, right? But I continue to show up because, after eight years of prioritizing my health first thing in the morning, I know the impact that it has on my day. I am the proof and so I don't question that anymore and it's gotten me through some really challenging times already. And in that survival mode I knew that I needed that mental shift that I get from my workouts in order to keep my business afloat and in order to be the mom that my boys needed. For me, the workouts were my life raft in that thick of that season.
Speaker 1:
But that being said, we know that survival mode does not typically have great effects on us physically, right, like it can literally give you aches and pains, and to be in that state of stress for so long it's not good for your body. All that tension, all that stress you're carrying around, you feel the weight. You probably are also not sleeping well. I was getting horrendous sleep for a period of about three months. My body thought 3 AM was the perfect time to wake up for the day and dwell on all of my problems, all of my to-dos, all of the ways in which I was going to survive another day. But you know your posture. It's not even the same right when you're running on E and the last thing on your mind is I should go do workouts when you feel like you're barely afloat, as it is right. So I get that and I want to acknowledge the effects that survival mode has on us physically so that we can understand why it's important that we make our way out of it and that stress and tension and lack of sleep. It's also affecting your second brain too, your gut, digestive issues, more unwanted physical effects of running on E Just trying to survive the season that you're in, that projected end date, just getting farther and farther from you.
Speaker 1:
Now I also ate really well during my survival mode and I'm being totally honest with you when I say, when I'm about to say that is because it was my job and only for that reason. The last thing I wanted to do was to eat things that were good for me. But right before life hit me hard. I had committed to doing a 30-day gut health plan with my clients and I felt so hard about backing out. I had this great excuse, you know, but I couldn't do that to them. It's just, it's not who I am. I weighed it out, yes, but I couldn't sit with it. It actually ended up being a nice distraction from my problems, because I was trying out all these new foods and recipes and worrying about staying on plan all day. It's a bit of a complex plan, even though it's extremely effective. But, man, if it wasn't for that, potato chips would not have stood a chance in my house. By the way, I'm actually not generally an emotional eater. I either want potato chips or I'm prone to not eating unless someone is serving me, and that, of course, is not healthy either. But again, the crappy eating that can come with survival mode is another punch to your gut. Right Cue more health issues.
Speaker 1:
And I know some sports moms can probably relate to being in survival mode Sports parents, excuse me, during some seasons you just find yourself in drive-through after drive-through just getting by. Right, we got to eat, fam Like. Again, I'm not shaming any of us who have done this. I just again want us to let's be aware, because we've kind of reached a point in our society where I think we can show ourselves a little too much grace and the definition of self-love has gotten a little off and we've started using things as an excuse to not take care of ourselves, to sit stagnant, and I want this episode to wake you up to what you're doing to yourself when you're bragging about being a hot mess. Now we've covered physically how it's affecting you.
Speaker 1:
Let's talk its mental and emotional effects. Some people get super angry in survival mode, right, like your fuse is short and you're easily triggered. And for me, I gotta be honest I just shut down. I lose the desire to even speak, unless it's to my kids, and I also get very sad, like crying over the dumbest things In private. By the way, I'm not like a crazy person strolling down the grocery store aisle with tears, but I just feel like an overwhelming sadness when I'm just trying to get by and it's because nothing is fulfilling to me.
Speaker 1:
There aren't many wins when I'm running on E, I'm not thriving at anything and we as humans need that sense of achievement and survival mode is not going to serve that up. In fact, we feel like we are never caught up right. I thrive on achieving things, and when I can't find it within me to do that. I totally lose who I am and cue my downward spiral. Last fall I literally couldn't see past the day in front of me, so I wasn't planning anything to look forward to, I wasn't excited about anything, I just wanted to get through the day. It's a life spent not living and I've got all the mindset tools right from years of personal development work, but I just wasn't prepared for the battle I found myself in and it led me to an extended stay in survival mode.
Speaker 1:
But I want us to talk about how we can shift from that survival mindset to a thriving mindset. The moment that we take ownership of where we're at, we become aware of how it's affecting us physically, mentally and emotionally, and then we can give ourselves the permission to do what it takes to move out of it. So let's talk about practical ways to change your perspective, embrace growth and start envisioning a future beyond mere survival. So your mindset can be a powerful catalyst for positive change. So can we all just get into that mindset right now? I mean, after hearing all of the negative ways that it affects us, is there anyone who wants to just unpack and live in that space? Of course, not right. So just making this mindset shift with me right now, that you want to do more than just survive this day, that's huge. And, by the way, I just had this vision of us standing on a mountaintop together screaming I want to live A little crazy, yes, but wouldn't that feel good? And if you've been living in survival mode, screaming from a mountaintop probably sounds pretty dang good right now. I can't be the only one who has ever wanted to do this. So let's get into the meat of the episode.
Speaker 1:
I want to empower you to take control of your life and build a future that you're excited about, one in which you're thriving and not surviving. And first I want to define what life would look like if you were thriving. I want you to envision it. What goals would you be actively working toward? What experiences would be happening daily and weekly and monthly and annually? What would be your driving emotions at the beginning and the end of the day? Like how would it feel to be thriving in wake of excited for the day in front of you? This vision will become your compass, so I want you to be really clear on it. So maybe either pause now or after you listen to this episode today. I want you to close your eyes and just really picture it and feel what comes up Like with that thriving version of you. What does that feel like to be that person, and keep this vision with you. Take a few minutes every morning to realign yourself with this so that you don't forget it. And next I want you to break down that vision into realistic goals.
Speaker 1:
So, because we are talking about coming out of survival mode, I want to emphasize something with this particular step, because I'm all about taking big, messy, massive action in your life, and I can be your biggest hype girl and cheerleader, but when you've been in an extended state of survival, thinking about taking big, massive action can actually just keep you in survival mode. So I want us to actually focus on realistic, achievable changes that you can implement right now. It's kind of like when my kids were little, I used to start training them for the time change like a week in advance. It wasn't like we just woke up one morning and I said, ok, from now on you're waking up an hour earlier, right? So I started making their bedtime 10 minutes earlier day by day leading up to the time change, because it became easier for us to guide ourselves into that hour shift. So I want us to gift ourselves that ease into thriving again too, and while I'm excited for you to feel alive and excited, I want you to stay encouraged through the process. So it's important that you set clear objectives as you create your roadmap of progress. I want you to ease yourself into things that are going to be big changes in the end.
Speaker 1:
If you want more time for yourself in the mornings because you feel like you're just putting out fires all day, then maybe start waking up just five minutes earlier and then ease into 10 minutes and then so forth and yes, that may mean going to bed five or 10 minutes earlier too. Ease yourself into it. That little bit of quiet time to yourself in the morning can do so much for the energy you start the day with. Maybe you pick one recipe to prep in advance this week like plan out 30 minutes of alone time with your spouse, schedule in one 30 minute bubble bath in advance and let your spouse know that they are on kid duty during that time. Plan three 20 minute movement sessions throughout your week. I know it feels like we are adding to your busy schedule, but these are actually things that free up more time because you become more effective and efficient at everything else.
Speaker 1:
But also ask for help with something delegate. Why is this so hard to do? I know I did a whole episode about it and I could do 10 more. We need to ask for help. Being miss or a mister independent isn't helping you. Let people help you. It's a strength to ask for help, not a weakness, and I get that. It's hard, my friend. I struggle with this one too, but let's be aware of it and just try to do better. And when you achieve that, or when you achieve any of the small goals that you make here today, I want you to celebrate those victories, watch how they contribute to your overall sense of achievement, that achievement that you've been robbing yourself of by just barely getting by. I want you to celebrate that.
Speaker 1:
Now let's establish some healthy habits. Schedule in better nutrition. Pick out one or two recipes in advance. Do a grocery pick up with some healthy, easy options. Stop saving the over-complicated Pinterest recipes that you know you're not gonna do you don't have time for. Get on a sleep schedule if you don't have a newborn. Prioritize your self-care, because it's not selfish. Being a martyr does not make you a better parent. It makes you tired and resentful and angry and stressed out and unhappy. The healthy habits that you're gonna establish here will contribute to your overall wellbeing physically, mentally, emotionally and I don't want you to downplay these small changes, because these small habits make a huge impact over time.
Speaker 1:
Right Next step build your support system. Now. This kind of goes hand in hand with asking for help, but it takes it a step farther. So this part may make you a little uncomfortable because it requires a lot of vulnerability, but I promise it's gonna feel so good. So surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family and mentors Not the ones complaining about their lives right along with you and doing nothing about it. I'm talking about people who, yes, they hear your struggle, they let you feel, but they also help you get out of that. People you can share your vision and your goals with and feel their encouragement. Let their belief fuel you, because this level of energy and the people around you will provide you with so much accountability and inspiration. Hanging around people that are not doing anything is only gonna leave you not doing anything too, and there's plenty of people who will complain with you. They're everywhere. They are not hard to find right, but I want you to put yourself in different rooms, even if that just means pushing play on more positive podcasts, voices that inspire you to improve your situation, and put you in the driver's seat of your life again.
Speaker 1:
And, step five, embrace the challenge that will come from this growth. It's not gonna be easy to move from surviving to thriving. It's gonna require you to do things differently, to do some things that you may even be skeptical of even working right. But I want you to realize that change requires uncomfortable action because it's new. It's at least new compared to the way you've been doing things right, like you've probably thrived before in your life, but you just haven't felt that in a while. Don't compare your life to someone else's mediocre life and think, well, this is good enough. No, I want you to be the best, the best version of you. I don't care what your best friend's life looks like, I don't care what your co-worker's marriage is like. I don't care what your neighbor's marriage is like, what your sister's kids are doing. I want you to challenge yourself to be the best you and think back to that thriving version of you that we created in step one, that I want you to embrace the challenge it's going to take to get there, because you already know that it's so, so worth it. Right? You already felt the feels that came up with, that you are developing, evolving, and that means that you are living again, my friend. So when you feel the challenge, know that you are living again. You just forgot what it felt like for a minute.
Speaker 1:
And the final step cultivate gratitude, practice gratitude as a daily ritual. I know that you're sick of hearing it. You've heard it from every personal development guru before. Some days, all you can come up with is that you're breathing and you don't think that's good enough and you think you need this groundbreaking thing to be grateful for. Otherwise, the practice just doesn't work for you. And I'm here to tell you that that's just not true, because for almost three months straight last year, I just kept writing that I was grateful for my family's health and I was grateful for my boys' love, laughter and light each day. Yes, very clever, but that was all I could muster to write down. But you know what? Those are some things. Those are big some things. How many people don't have those things in their life to be grateful for? So, gosh, my foundation may have felt like it was rocked, but damn, look at those two things I have to be grateful for today. It's a mindset shift when you allow it to be and embrace really choosing gratitude in the moment. It's a powerful tool for breaking free from survival mode. It helps me and no matter how sick people get of hearing it, how cliche it starts to sound, I will always be an advocate for taking a few minutes to feel gratitude first thing in the morning, and I think it's even better if you write it down.
Speaker 1:
These steps are not a one-size-fits-all solution, but rather a customizable guide that I hope will help you on your journey moving from surviving to thriving. I'm glad I haven't said that backwards yet this episode. I was afraid I would. We're moving from surviving to thriving. Progress is progress, no matter how small. So take these steps at your own pace and embrace the transformation. I'm so excited for you and I believe in you and your ability to bring some aliveness back into your life, and I want to hear from you. I want you to share your experiences, your tips and your journey toward thriving beyond survival. So connect with me on social media and let's build a community that supports each other's growth, because your voice matters, and I'd love to share your story, if you bring me the permission to do so. Share this episode on your social media or with a friend that you think would enjoy it too. I want you to pay this forward.
Speaker 1:
This episode leaned so heavy, unintentionally, into the why behind the creation of my first journal, Driver's Seat Journal, which, by the way, I'm on the finishing touches of creating. I'm just picking out the 365 quotes and verses that will fill each of the days. No big deal, but it's coming and it will be an undated 12 month guided journal so that you can start anytime during the year, and I will be announcing here as soon as it's available, and also on my social media. By the way, I've already let my have a free Instagram channel. You can find it on my main Instagram page near the top, where you can join that free channel, and I've already let those people know that they are going to be the first to find out when it drops. So, just FYI, I also have a link in my Instagram bio to jump on the Driver's Seat Journal waitlist, so you can do that as well.
Speaker 1:
So, as we wrap up today's episode, I hope you feel inspired to jump off the Hot Mess Express. These steps are not just a checklist, but instead I want them to be your roadmap to reclaim your life and really feeling alive again, because thriving is not the destination, it is a state of being that I want you to get to, and you harness the power to do that. So remember it's OK to celebrate the small victories, every positive change you make matters, and we're not shooting for perfection, but instead for progress in a better direction. I encourage you to carry that vision you defined today with you. Remember often the life that you want to lead, the goals that get you excited, the habits that align with the best version of you, and find that support system that's going to lift you higher and embrace the challenge that comes with growth. Thank you for joining me on Elevate with Erica today. Until next episode, friends.
