Our mission today is to break up with the need for anyone's approval and forgive ourselves for seeking validation from others. I'll admit, this one hits close to home for me in the season I'm in. It's time to shift the focus inward, embrace our imperfections, and understand that the only approval we truly need is our own.
As we journey through this episode, I encourage you to share the two simple assignments given on social media. Together, we can create a ripple effect of authenticity and self-love. It's time to shine light on all the parts of you, grow in the direction that feels true, and show up – flaws and all.
This isn't just a podcast episode; it's an invitation to a movement of authenticity and self-discovery. Let's elevate!
Our mission today is to break up with the need for anyone's approval and forgive ourselves for seeking validation from others. I'll admit, this one hits close to home for me in the season I'm in. It's time to shift the focus inward, embrace our imperfections, and understand that the only approval we truly need is our own.
As we journey through this episode, I encourage you to share the two simple assignments given on social media. Together, we can create a ripple effect of authenticity and self-love. It's time to shine light on all the parts of you, grow in the direction that feels true, and show up – flaws and all.
This isn't just a podcast episode; it's an invitation to a movement of authenticity and self-discovery. Let's elevate!
Hi, friends, and welcome back to another episode of Elevate with Erica. So you know, when you hear people that complain about social media being like a negative space, or that it's full of drama or that it makes them kind of insecure or not feel good about themselves, right, we've all heard someone complain and you know it's those posts you see from people that are like I'm sorry, friends, I'm deleting Facebook. I just I can't with it. Right, it's true, whatever, right? Well, my opinion on that is always well, first and foremost, you know what you do, you, but also just realized that for the most part, you decide what's on your feed. That's just the way it works. You're going to get more of whatever you interact with, and Instagram literally has a for you page full of what it knows that you interact with. You told it that, that you wanted to see more of that.
Speaker 1:
So I'm always very conscious of what I like and follow and comment on, and my feed, because of that, is generally a very positive place. It's a people who are further along than me and what I want to do, of friends that may be pursuing something totally different than what I do or want to do, but they inspire me in some way with their. Maybe it's their parenting style or the way that they style their home, or something in their marriage, or their clothes, just something inspiring to me, or it's of quotes that remind me to continue to work to unlock the best version of myself. But and here comes the topic of today's episode, this past week it seemed the complaints had even been affecting my positive little corner of social media and I thought two things to myself, and we are going to go into each of those today. One, why are we so bothered by other people's lives and why do we waste energy caring? And two, if people are complaining about those people, why do we try so hard to fit in and get others to like us and worry what others think about us and worry about speaking our minds and upsetting others?
Speaker 1:
The amount of hate that I've seen towards Travis Kelsey this past week don't even get me started on the hate I've seen towards Taylor Swift over the course of this football season and no, I'm not a Swifty, I don't know the words to her songs, I just I respect good business and good brand building and she has done that. But the amount of hate towards Travis Kelsey for a passionate moment during a pivotal moment in his career. I mean just wow, right, If we could all just be so perfect. And you know, my mom and I had this conversation. We actually just talked about it on Tuesday. We have this conversation all the time about how we give people the benefit of the doubt, because you just never know what someone is going through. We all have crap, right, we all have bad days, days where our best selves didn't shine, and I have moments I wish I could redo. I'm sure you do too. I wish I could redo them and respond better. I always work to respond with joy and grace and kindness, because you just don't know what someone else is dealing with, and so I don't want this episode to get lost in celebrities and stories and opinions. My goodness, I've seen enough of that on social media this week. But there were a couple other hot topics this week and just lots of bashing, judgment and and overall hate, and in the moment of seeing those things I just kind of thought to myself gosh, like who has the energy for this, to carry this, this around with them on the daily? I mean, maybe it's because I'm going through a really challenging season in my own life, like on the parenting front, on the marriage front, spreading my my wings in business pursuits, but I just don't have the energy, the time or care to be bothered by what someone else is doing in their own life that I may not agree with. Like my house feels like it's made of lots of glass in this season and I shall definitely not be throwing any stones, I'm holding back from just wrapping this episode up right now and just saying you know what, who gives a? You know what? That's what I wanted to put on all those posts, by the way. I don't engage in those things because I don't want to see more of those things, but I want to say who gives you know what.
Speaker 1:
On all that hate, like, go work on you, go do something productive, go think positive thoughts, turn that finger inward. Why is this so triggering for you? Maybe spend your energy looking there, because it's just such a waste of energy. It's like moving from the driver seat of your life to the back seats. And don't think it's not stealing your energy Because it is any kind of negativity or hate you're spewing. You're carrying that. It's somewhere in you. It's soaking up some energy and every time that you voice it, that you give it a voice, you're feeding it and it takes up a bigger and bigger chunk of of the things that you think about, and that's moving you to the back seat of your life. Let me just sit back here and pop some popcorn and criticize everything on the road in front of me. If you don't like what's on the road in front of you, then pick a different road, drive somewhere else, change the scenery.
Speaker 1:
But after a week of seeing so much hate online, I had a realization One or two days after they're super cool if people can find something to say about those celebrities or those other highly successful people. I saw people bashing. You better stop wasting so many minutes worrying about what someone is gonna think about you. That's what I told myself. That's what I'm here to share with you today and say to you as well, trying to always do and say the right thing. What it should show us is that it's a losing game. Not only will everyone not like you, but you'll hide the best parts of yourself trying to get them to, and there I sat in that job for too many years.
Speaker 1:
Then I care to even add up Giving my family only the scraps of me Because I was worried what people would think if I quit. There I sat in a marriage that was unhealthy because I was afraid of of what people might say. There I sat in the suffering of being taken advantage of for years because I was worried people would judge me if I advocated for myself. There I sat in friendships that weren't genuine because I was worried no one else would like me. There I sat choosing career paths. I Thought others would respect me, with no regard to my own happiness. But Jesus was perfect and people still had something to say. You get the moral of the story. There is no other you there never was, there never will be. And all of the parts of you that you tried to hide, the dreams on your heart that you're trying to dim, those are literally the best parts of you. Don't spend one more day letting fear of the naysayers stop you from what God is doing in and through you or whatever higher power or purpose that you believe in.
Speaker 1:
I've been very open in my social media stories, and some on this podcast as well, about the active work that my husband and I are putting into salvage our marriage from the wreckage of 2023. And it has made some people uncomfortable, but I just tend to believe that it only makes you uncomfortable if you're not willing to show all the imperfect parts of yourself. And it is my hope and I actually know it's more than just a hope now it's a fact, because I've received the DMs that my honesty and authenticity through this situation can help just one other couple. Our assignment with this episode is to break up with needing anyone's approval and to forgive yourself for viewing someone else's opinion of you as a challenge to convince them of your worth. That is a tough one for me, so I'm going to say it again Forgive yourself for viewing someone else's opinion of you as a challenge to convince them of your worth.
Speaker 1:
That's not your job. Do you like you? It's the only like you need. It's the only one that matters. The rest are bonuses. Those are your people and you will find them. But you won't find your people, your purpose and what you were put on this earth to be and do and see an impact if you continue trying to be anything but who you are the imperfections too You'll never feel true joy and peace until you can show up comfortably in who you are in the beautiful mess that is you. And I just read something that's in line with this episode right before I was going to push record on this podcast, and I always think that those kinds of things are just faded, so I made a little note to read it to you. So just a little quote from Instagram You're not responsible for people's assumptions, projections, fantasies about who you are supposed to be. Get free, free yourself, let them work that out for themselves, because it has nothing to do with who you are.
Speaker 1:
And I can honestly tell you that, looking back on my life, the most miserable or unhappiest times in my life were in situations that I knew I needed to change, and then I was just sitting in too long, I was just taking too long to actually change and I wasn't making the changes because I was worried what others would think of me and have to say about me. I was worried about upsetting others, I was worried about losing respect, I was worried about the rumor mill and gossip. But guess what? Everyone didn't like me back when I was in those unhappy situations. People had something to say about me when I left those situations and I still haven't gotten everyone's approval today, even though I'm living more in my purpose than I ever have.
Speaker 1:
Change makes people uncomfortable. The more change I've made in my life, the more I've evolved and gotten in line with my purpose, the smaller my circle has gotten. There's a reason for that. I'm in kind of that clearing out season Because, like I said, change makes people uncomfortable, even when it's not directly related to them at all. It may just be that they weren't ready to see you differently. They were changing and evolving and it doesn't fit who they wanted you to be. And this is why some people really are just seasoned, people, just meant to be in your life for a season. It doesn't make them a bad person. I don't even like to necessarily say you outgrew them. I like to say you just grew in another direction. So why not just uncover all of the parts of you and grow into the direction that that takes you and to the people that that takes you to Show up authentically.
Speaker 1:
Let the naysayers and the doubters and the haters show themselves out and don't be afraid to be alone for a season, because that season won't last, but you'll uncover the most beautiful parts of yourself that will lead the right people to you. Because that's a real fear that some of us have, isn't it? The fear of being alone. I think that we all crave connection in some way and we fear that if we show up authentically, all our imperfections are out, that everyone will leave us no friends, no partner. But what's worse, is it better to be yourself and have no friends, or to be like everyone else and have no self or another way? I've heard that put is the worst thing in life to be alone or to be in a room with people who make you feel alone, who don't even realize that they don't even know who you really are and maybe at this point you don't even remember who you really are.
Speaker 1:
This episode was kind of short and sweet today, but I just felt like it was put on my heart to do and say, during a week when I saw so many people achieving or living their dreams and still being ridiculed, and during a time when so many say that social media makes them insecure and leads them down a comparison rabbit hole, I just wanted to dare you to be different. I want this episode to remind you that your different makes you beautiful and it makes you unique. Even the flaws, even the things that you're working on, every piece of you is a product of your history and you're the only you, baby. The hardest thing that I have ever done in my life was to change my career path, to give up that title and the salary for a different measure of success. The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else. But, that being said, also, I don't think that they're trying to make you that way. You just think you have to be in order to be liked, and that's just not true, and I hope you have the courage to go find that out, because you are the director of your life. So we have to stop playing by everyone else's scripts.
Speaker 1:
Dare, I say Fly your freak flag, honey. It starts with the two assignments that I gave you earlier in this episode. Will you share these to your social media today? Okay, I want you to drop these down and then I want you to share them on your social media, and then I want you to tag me and just declare it. One, break up with needing anyone's approval. And two, we're going to forgive yourself for viewing someone else's opinion of you as a challenge to convince them of your worth. I appreciate you, guys. I hope that you have a beautiful rest of your day, a great week and until next episode, friends E, I have to tell you guys about a new meat delivery subscription service I'm using. Butcher Box delivers high quality meat you can trust, right to your front door. I'm talking free range, organic chicken, humanely raised pork, 100% grass fed and grass finished beef and wild caught seafood so you can feel good about what you're eating. But also the taste and the quality are amazing. Click the link in my show notes to grab your first Butcher Box.
