Make it Happen With Kimmay Caldwell - Inside, Outside and Underneath

Creating safe and sacred spaces for women in bra-fitter turned coach, Kimmay Caldwell.   Kimmay is not only a passionate advocate for self-care through undergarments but also the inspiring founder of Hurray Media and Hurray Kimmay. Join us as we dive into Kimmay's journey from New York City to rural Oklahoma and finally to Philadelphia, and explore how she helps people say "Hurray" inside, outside, and underneath!

In this enlightening interview, Kimmay shares her expertise as a bra fitter and bra fit teacher, emphasising the importance of undergarments as a tool for self-care. Whether you're someone who loves wearing beautiful lingerie or prefers the comfort of cozy undergarments, Kimmay has valuable insights for everyone. Learn how the right undergarments can empower you, boost your confidence, and honour your body.

Key Topics Discussed:

Kimmay's background and journey across the States
The founding of Hurray Media and Hurray Kimmay
The significance of undergarments in self-care
Practical tips for choosing the right undergarments for different moods and occasions
How to use what you are wearing to set a positive mindset

Three Lessons from Kimmay's Business Journey:

- Show Up and Be Nice: Say yes to opportunities, be fully present, and create great relationships. Showing up and being nice can open doors and build long-lasting connections.
- Personal Development: Invest in a mindset coach to work on self-forgiveness and overcoming imposter syndrome. Internal work is crucial for sustaining success and self-belief.
- Create Your Four Pillars: Define your why statement, I am statements, faith statement and values. These pillars guide decisions and keep you aligned with your true purpose.

Kimmay's three recommended books were:-
- Infinite Receiving by Suzy Ashworth
- Chill and Prosper by Denise Duffield-Thomas
- Overcoming Underearning(R): A Five-Step Plan to a Richer Life by Barbara Stanny

Don't miss this engaging conversation filled with laughter, insights, and lots of "Hurrays"! Make sure to like, subscribe, and hit the bell icon for more inspiring interviews and content.

Follow Kimmay Caldwell:

Website: https://hurraykimmay.com
Founder of Hurray Kimmay 

TT: @hurraykimmay (watch my video that has 11 million views, and counting!)  

IG: @HurrayKimmay 

Transcript

So I'm back in the Make it Happen studio and I'm really excited with today's guest who is Kimmay Caldwell. Kimmay has a byline of Hurray and you're going to find out why she uses the word Hurray so much as she does but also her story of how she ended up going from being a bra fitter to really being a woman that actually can see and connect and empathise with women in the whole of their lives and how her having the bra fitting business has made her change the way she looks at her body and support women as we look at our bodies come and meet Kimmay [Music]

Hurray so excited to be here Hurray we should say Hurray always always saying Hurray that is in fact something I literally say often so so while we're saying Hurray for Kimmay do tell the listeners and the viewers more about Kimmany please Yes okay so my name is Kimmay Caldwell uh I'm based in the States I live in Philadelphia although I often tell people I actually am from New York State and I lived in New York City from age 18 to 34 so 16 beautiful years then my husband and I moved uh quite suddenly for three very strange years to rural Oklahoma which I know there's an international crowd here so if you're not familiar what that is I was it was almost like doing a study abroad program in my own country It was very very different culture and now I live in Philadelphia which actually we've been here for about a year and a half and we really love it so back to the east coast of the States and I uh own the company Hurray Media and the business Hurray Kimmay so my brand name rhymes and truly I do say Hurray and really what I focus on is helping people say hurray inside outside and underneath and that underneath part is because of my many years in the undergarment business as a bra fitter and now a bra fit teacher and my big focus on using underwear as self-care like I really feel like there's such a powerful opportunity for us to use undergarments as a self-care tool so that happens to be my best tool there are many ways that I work with people and undergarments just happens to be my biggest focus I love that that's such a cool thing to do because we all have to wear undergarments well I mean I guess you don't have to most people are some women that are liberated and don't want to wear them but generally um we wear undergarments and we don't really think about those undergarments right so you're right. Let's just dig right into you you've decided to change the conversation we have with your body by using your undergarments yes um and then eventually your whole self and to help other people do the same so do share was there a treat trigger to how you suddenly saw undergarments in this way or wanted to change the conversation. Absolutely I wasn't you know and it wasn't just like I put on my bra one day and was like you know like that's not how that happened so I was going to school for uh musical theatre in New York City and I was financially independent at 18 so really just had to work my way through college and I was making $7 an hour selling shoes and that was not cutting it even back in 2003 This was not uh a viable solution for me financially and a friend of mine said that a bra store was opening up would I be interested? Do I care about bras? and I was like I don't care about bras but you know what how much do they pay and she said $10 an hour and I said I'm going to be rich Let's go so I got hired on the spot and I always sort of joke around about that because I had no intention of leading this movement or in any way stewarding undergarments as self-care just was not on my radar but you know sometimes those life-changing things happen and you sort of get pulled in a direction that you're meant to go so this was that for me in that first week as a bra fitter which as it's New York city so I was seeing every kind of body you could imagine I had the veil lifted about what real human bodies looked like and this was before Instagram or the body positive movement which again now we sort of have the pendulum swings back and forth right So we had for a long time some like real real commitment to body positivity and no airbrushing anything things like that and now we've got like filters are a big thing again um where everyone sort of looks just so fake uh but back in 2003 we didn't have any of that all I had to look at for bodies was that airbrushed to perfection Image on the in magazines and even at 20 as a very I just turned 20 as a very privileged person I'm white presenting even though I'm Latina I am uh you know tall and thin especially at the time I was very thin and healthy I did not match up I did not measure up to that Perfect Image who could but as a young person I thought that was what I was supposed to look like in order to be loved in order to be valuable in order to be attractive in order to be worthy and seeing real human bodies I was like oh that's what bodies look like and I noticed a trend that in that fitting room every single person that came in had something negative to say in the mirror and it was mostly about things I did not even see or or thought about and I realised I was doing the same thing so it started with me I my way into loving myself and supporting myself was through my relationship with my body because I think it was the most obvious and the most damaged to be honest you know I grew up in 90s diet culture in the US and um could just never be thin enough and so when I started talking kinder to myself my life started to change I mean I went from wearing no shorts for seven years of my young life to finally wearing shorts and then you know doing these photo shoots around the world but I also realised I could help somebody else in the fitting room and I was like you know I could help you find a bra like this like it's going to be comfortable that's going to change your life already hurray but like while we're here why don't we talk about who you see in the mirror and why don't we talk about the number that is on the tag of that bra and what feeling of identity that brings up because woo when you tell someone who's been wearing a 34C their whole life that a 32 double D fits best their world has changed their identity is shifted and I'm like I literally did not change your body today we just changed the number on the tag and um that identity work was very unintentionally on my part the basis of the coaching that I do now the teaching that I do now and really help really realising that so much of our identity is in our chest and our bodies and you know we say this this phrase in the States of like get it off your chest when you have like a heavy issue and this that has never been more clear to me that there is so much that we carry right here so it was really a powerful start for me because it wasn't just about me I was also seeing people who had had mastectomies people who had gone through cancer people who were pregnant and nursing transgender folks like every kind of body that you could imagine and the identity and how it changed here on this part of the body so now I really want people to be able to to wake up in the morning and make an autonomous loving and informed choice to be honest that choice could be no bra right like I don't I'm not a bra psycho I'm not gonna come to your house and be like where's your bra every should wear it's not about that but it's like so many of the people who wear bras either hate them and are wearing them out of dread or they're not wearing one because they're making you know some what they feel is like a really strong statement against some kind of patriarchy and I'm like you know what um absolutely let's make a statement against the patriarchy and are we making the most loving and informed decision for your body as it is today not as it was 10 years ago not as it will be in 10 years but today and what it needs and what it wants and what it's craving so I want people to open up that broad door in the morning and instead of going gee I guess if I have to to go okay who Am I who am I being today how do I want to feel today just like this I put on a bright pink dress today and bright pink lipstick I do the same thing I have a beautiful bra on underneath um that helps clothe this sacred area right over the heart I always say that breast and chest are the gateway to the heart so I've made this loving choice about what to wear it could also be a loving choice to wear something soft and stretchy and cozy it could also be loving to wear no bra it could be loving to wear something really firm and hold me in and help me feel locked and loaded just depends on the feeling that I want that day and who who I want to be and how I want to embody it so it's a really really sacred part of the body that I get to work with on a regular basis and I feel really honored to do so yeah I love that story and um i' I've heard you talk before about how you put on a bra and you're actually putting it over your heart exactly which I think it's just a beautiful way to look at it because we don't do we we just grab the nearest bra to us maybe it fit matches with what we're wearing maybe it doesn't we just stick it on and just you know feel that we as you said feel that we have to wear it and then um it doesn't make us feel necessarily so comfortable in yeah and it's so a important thing and and here's the thing if you do that every single morning that's a habit right and our habits matter like that 1% change we could make really adds up so if anyone's ever read James clear's book Atomic Habits Like that's how you shift your life it's that one difference so imagine you know whether you believe in chakras or energy or not right just this area over the heart is just so rich with opportunity for change because imagine if when you put that on it's a a Mindless act and be you're kind of settling right you're like gee whatever I guess this thing and now you're probably walking around with one of three things or all three these are the three most common things I see in the fitting room which is shame they're too much they're not enough right like gee they not look like what what I looked like when I was 19 or like after having kids blah blah blah blah blah the story that we have a lot of times's there's a too much component that they're too big I'm too sloppy I'm too fat too whatever um so there's shame there's confusion like like what bra size do I even wear like how do bra sizes work like how the heck is this thing supposed to work that comes from this tradition of passing down misinformation because we don't talk about this in school no one has a class on bra fitting I do but people didn't and um and I've just been it's just been taught down by somebody who also didn't know what was going on. God bless my mom she's a wonderful mother she had no idea which she was talking about she taught me how to put my bra on the wrong way which was totally bad for the bra um and she also passed down the information that like a D cup is is Dolly Parton D cup is way too big now mind you I wear a 34 triple D these days so thank God I've let go of that story of too big and too much and then the third thing is discomfort which again most people notice right away if they're bra doesn't fit uh it's riding up it's digging in it's falling off it's just frustrating right so if you're walking around with those three things in the front of your body right over your heart every day you're going to make in decisions for the rest of the day from that place o like that's tough so instead I want people to take that moment um to make it mindful and to you have to start with the right tools mind you you have to start with bras that fit but to put on something that fits well that feels good that helps you embody who you want to be today and now your shoulders are back your heart is out you feel fantastic whether somebody sees it or not you're walking around with a little extra spring in your step and again it could be a very basic bra it could be a fun bra it doesn't matter you you feel fantastic in exactly how you chose to feel that day and now you're making decisions from this heart-led place from this shoulders back chest out to place with no shame with no confusion with no discomfort oof what a better way to make decisions from like what a better place I should say to make decisions from on a daily basis and that little you know little change every single morning the more you do this the more you say something kind to yourself in the process too wow now we've really exponentially changed things right if you can say something kind to yourself when you put your bra on in the morning and you do that every single day for a year you will be a different human in one year completely different human so that's why I do what I do so yeah it's amazing that you can help people that are the bra rarest as well as people that sell the bras as you know people that are out in the shops did you how did you come up with that as a business? Did you have any roadblocks to creating this amazing business? Did I have any roadblocks Ali please! I mean that's that's part of owning a business right um you know I I did I had several so I was I started in that bra Boutique in New York City and I actually quickly got hired by Saks Fifth Avenue in their flagship store in New York on fifth and then I was really quickly recruited by La Perla so like the very expensive French Italian um lingerie brand to be their rep at Saks and at Bergdorf Goodman and that was where I also got my first taste of wholesale and also my first on camera appearance so my first ever TV appearance to talk about brands was live on NBC which is like one of the biggest networks here in the states um for Martha Stewart's show Martha Stewart I mean she's a an icon a legend and that was my first ever taste of talking about undergarments on television and I was hooked I was like oh this is fun um and also with La Perla I did Tim Gunn's Guide to Style and I just loved it but I kind of thought at the time even I was like I this is still just my college job like this is all just this is all just to get me through school so I had no intention at the time of starting a business and in fact um I quit undergarments altogether and I worked on Fifth Avenue in in clothing and ready to wear and this was 2007 to 2008 so right during the recession here in the States where um gosh business was tough and I realised very quickly I did not love selling dresses even though I love clothes and fashion as much as I loved selling bras and it was because of the transformational effect it was a very blunt object for me some people there are great stylists out there who can change someone's life with a dress that was not for me it was just a tool that I could not use as effectively and that mattered to me I wanted to change people's lives I had a taste of it I wanted more of it so I actually got let go I think I was there for a year and I got let go um during a big layoff period for a lot of people and at first I was devastated because I was like I'm amazing why would you ever let me go um and so for three days I was really upset and then I realised what a favour that was I just was so miserable there um and I just I would never have had the courage to quit to be completely honest so that was an absolute divine intervention so what I ended up doing was some creative stuff and in fact I actually did had a commercial agent um I was I was selling crafts I was like making earrings and I had a really crafty business so I kind of liked the idea of starting up a business I just didn't know any any way to do it and then the bra fitting shop came back to me and said hey we actually need fitters again and I went from making a large salary down back again to the bottom of the pile where I was now doing online customer service so I got a taste of the industry from that side then also I became the store manager and then I was training our staff and then I became the marketing manager and the marketing director mind you I did not go to school for marketing but I am super creative and I really loved being able to communicate with more people than just one-on-one I really I knew I knew what our customer going to say before they said it I knew how to finish their sentences I knew everything that was going on their head so the market research was like invaluable and um I loved this idea of marketing so it was in 2014 when it was actually suggested to me to start a marketing business now mind you as a person who went to school for musical theater I was like no way will I ever have a boring job like marketing right like that was like the furthest from any reality I had ever envisioned for myself but I loved the content creation side of things I loved creating social media and videos and educational things and inspirational things like that part really lit me up so I had one foot out the door and one foot still at the bra fitting shop I just couldn't let go of that stability and uh I think you I've told you this story before but I'll tell everybody else here that I was working part-time at that shop because the business was very mismanaged and and kind of going down like we don't need a marketing director but we'd love for you to still fit the shop and I was like I'm graduated from fitting in the shop thank you but I was like I also still need the money so sure and so uh I was fitting in the shop and the producer from Tim Gunn's Guide to Style who I had not seen in seven years um and we stayed kind of barely in contact on LinkedIn so this by the way absolutely keep in touch with your contacts um she came walking into the bra shop in New York and I recognised her immediately and I said hey aren't you so and so and she was like yeah and I was like we worked together on the show she's like oh my God and I was fitting her and she said so what are you doing here now like what's up and I was like well you know actually kind of thinking of starting my own marketing business for intimates brands because I really hate how like big companies like Victoria Secret talk to people about their bodies I hate it it's like this you should want to look like this will help you get there and instead of like actually who you are today and the body you're in today is beautiful and absolutely okay and this undergarment that you put on every day is going to help you realise that that's a such a different message and so I was telling her this and I like without hesitation she went so then just leave and I was like what she was like listen you're never going to take yourself seriously and your clients aren't going to take yourself aren't going to take you seriously until you just go I'd love for you to stay here and be a fitter you're a great fitter but she's like if you want to do something bigger and you want to reach more people than just this one to one thing you got to just go and it was like like a gut punch so I literally told my boss that day and I went home and told my husband wow and one week later to the day he got let go from his job oh two weeks later the only client I even had on my roster was like we can't afford you anymore we're going and they left and I it was my first experience like oh you should have a contract um so that was wild and I went around to like this Expo um where I was I happened to be stepping in to to help my former boss at La Perla do some wholesale this big Expo and I like that night when I lost my client it was also by the way on my second year wedding anniversary I like hand cut some little business cards and went around and just said like hi do you need social media do you need social media just like bold and uh now when I step in at that Expo I've hosted numerous panels and workshops there I'm like a little celebrity there people stop and like take their picture with me so it was an absolute 180 from where I had started now one of the biggest roadblocks besides like getting started which is one of the biggest one like taking the leap is one of the biggest ones for sure um was actually switching from doing behind the scenes stuff to in-person stuff so the marketing part of things was was great and I was actually crushing it I had a bunch of clients but I woke up one day and realized H I don't want to write someone else's tweets I just don't want to sit here and manage behind the scenes I'm not a behind the scenes person so even though I was good at it it was not fulfilling and I think I had to get over some stories of being vain or wanting a lot of attention and just like you know things that I had been told when I was little that I was just too much and I was too loud and I was too vibrant and too bright and I should tone it down and I thought it was more professional and respectable to do something behind the scenes that was what I was telling myself and uh I decided to pitch a brand to pay me to wear bathing suits and to wear and share and to tell other people about it on my blog now mind you I had started the experiment of like let me wear shorts for the first time just before this so like I'm talking like maybe maybe it was it was it was years but still it felt so new and I had never shown up publicly in photos in like a bowl way in my bathing suit let alone undergarments but I called up a brand and I said listen would you or it was really it's a retail store it's one of the biggest ones in the US actually and um said would you pay me for this and they were like yes and I was like amazing and I like took a trip to Florida with a photographer friend of mine and just like made this beautiful photo shoot which I still have pictures of now and it was my first taste of like oh so I can like create fun art and do like travel to cool places and get paid to do it and inform people about how to wear things that fit well and feel great on their bodies and celebrate their bodies at the same time this is possible and I made an entire business out of it so now a lot of a lot of what's available to the people who are listening are um you for bra ERS uh are as free content on my site lots of shopping guides um great information about fit and and inspiration about how to feel great in your body and forgive yourself and all sorts of things but I also have a course called raw confidence and comfort which sort of evolved because I really felt like again that misinformation that was passed down again and again we just were never taught this and I was like you know this is everything that your mom never taught you that you need to know as an informed person who wears undergarment and then I that turned into me training I was already doing this in Paris at the big Expos but I turned it a course in a community for bra Fitters who wanted to fit with accuracy and empathy because I don't I can't fit everybody and I need to be able to refer people to folks that to Fitters who I know not only are going to do a good job fitting but are going to create a safe and sacred place for that person in the fitting room because it's such a vulnerable thing for someone to go in and reveal themselves and to do that that identity work so this course in community is really built to be a step one for those folks so that they can just have the foundations and the essentials and then the community because profiting is a weird job Ali it's a weird job that not everybody understands and we get a lot of creepy like you know things from guys who like you need an assistant and I'm like like if I have to hear that one more time I think I'm nah braff so we get each other we're bra nerds we understand what it's like to look at someone's strap and be like oh the 85567 from Wacoal like we we know we were just nerding out on great fit and how to support people beyond the bra in there so that was a long answer to basically say you know I built a a global company with clients all over the world simply because I took a $10 an hour job that turned into this yeah now I have basically a media company that's changing people's lives so hurray yeah yeah yeah so based on your amazing business that you have now which is absolutely phenomenal are there three lessons that we could learn from what you've um discovered yes so my first is um quick which it this especially makes sense in the beginning of a business which is to show up and be nice so by show up I mean say yes to things you know say yes to podcast say yes to opportunities go to the meeting and when you go to the meeting or go to the networking thing be there fully like say yes to it right like be like yes I'm in um and then um be nice meaning like create great relationships with people like I said that that one producer who I worked with seven years ago um she came back into my life in a random way but like I was I was a good human who she wanted to help and support and encourage and that's an energy thing that's that comes from the inside of like like truly liking yourself um and being okay with receiving help and and and reaching out to people uh that's the number one way I'm on television all the time now is because I show up and I'm nice I do a really great job and I'm a really great fun person to work with so those those are key so that's number one number two is definitely the personal development thing so um a lot of times people when they're when they're in business they feel like there's they they'll focus on the external things so they'll get a hire a business coach who's going to help them reach x amount of money or whatever but what I have found to be the most impactful is to actually find like a mindset coach to find someone who's going to help you with self forgiveness when stories pop up because you could have the best strategy plan in the entire world and if you don't believe you can get there or you don't believe you're worthy of it or you don't um really you feel like an impostor you're never going to get there and if you do it's going to be super fleeting and you're going to you know sabotage yourself or whatever so please do the inside work to know your worth your value your meaning and um and really have like some truth that you can stand on the other is to create what I call the four pillars so um these are the four things I keep on like a a Post-It note next to me at my desk I'm not at my desk right now but all the time and I refer back to these constantly and when I coach people this is the what we start with we start with these four things so the first is your why statement which is very popular thing there's books about this my why is I support people to uncover pathways of love within themselves and with each other so that we can have a more harmonious World nowhere in there did I say anything about bras or coaching or marketing it frees me up to do that in any way so that my business can evolve can pivot um that's really important the second is I am statements and these are who you are no matter what whether the client says yes or no whether you reach a revenue goal or not whether you're able to even do things like you get sick and you just can't do stuff anymore or not you are still these things no matter what I have to remind myself of those on a daily basis and mine for example some of mine are like I'm divinely created um I'm generous I'm loved I'm lovable right like I am love um those things are really important to keep in mind the third thing is your faith statement which I have Gabby Bernstein has a great sort of example on how to create a faith statement I lean on that daily I have like signed on God is my like business partner and I lean on that in a in a really big way because again this is what I trust this is like what I can stand on and trust and believe I faith in this and then the fourth one is uh my values so these are again when I'm making business decisions on who to partner with what to do where to go I just constantly come back to my values and sometimes you think like oh I know my values and I have to have it there having it next to you on a regular basis it's like such an uplifting thing to do so um I just I don't know I just refer to them on a regular basis and again some of mine are creativity inclusivity joy and if I'm deciding something and it doesn't match up with those or there's not a hefty overlap or it doesn't support those I know it's a no I know okay oof this seems like a cool opportunity but like not aligned ready to say no to that and that really makes decisions a lot easier for me so those are my three yeah and amazing because boundaries are something that we are really a lot of us are really difficult find difficult to set sure and that's what you're setting you're setting your boundaries this is what I do this is what I don't do and this is why how I do the bit in the middle um yeah it's almost like setting standards that then you can create boundaries around right it's like I know what I stand for and stand behind and that means anything outside of that is just a know for me it's just a know yeah and I love the first one because I think we're all we all find it difficult to actually receive things from other people we're all good particular as women are giving out stuff actually asking for help and actually receiving something from somebody else or even celebrating something that we've done that's been really amazing huge yes just to move on don't we we don't actually stop and pause and celebrate before we jump on that's me babe that's me you know as a Capricorn person I'm like constantly like great what's next what's next what's next and it really I had to create a practice of saying hurray for things and any container that I'm in right now if I'm facilitating it we pretty much start everything with like share a hurray and it could be something really small from your day it could be something really big that you're excited about but being able to say it out loud and be witnessed by other people is really powerful because otherwise we just have our head some some of us just have our heads down and move forward without really celebrating ourselves along the way that's important a low hanging through is still low hanging through still hurray yeah still delicious juicy fruit so a very quick fire round have you read a book that's made a difference to your life and why okay so I was thinking about this and there's right there's so many books that I love and I would recommend but I want to say I'm actually in the middle right now I actually really just started like chapter three but I was like oh and it's actually related to what you just said so I'm going to share it and it's called infinite receiving by Suzy Ashworth you and I talked about this and I finally went and I got actually I got the audio version of it and receive is my word for the year and so I'm really committed to like how do I receive and Suzy's work is really interesting because it's it's very energetic it can be a little out there for some people but yet she's so grounded she's a really grounded person and that's that was really important to me so that's one another one I will say that I did actually read is Chill and Prosper by Denise Duffield Thomas who's a great mindset teacher for um for money mindset she's wonderful another one on money is um Overcoming underearning uh what is her name oh I'm going to forget the author's name maybe you can put the show notes show notes yeah yeah so sorry about that but she's her wonderful information that there um that was it's actually really more of a workbook that you go through with friends and I started it with a group of women that we just kept meeting and now we've been meeting every Wednesday for like a co-working session and it sort of started as like we're just not afraid to talk about money in this group and like I didn't have anybody I could talk about money with and now we've been co-working together for something like five years every Wednesday and it's been super super helpful so that's another really great book I really love that one yeah it's funny isn't it women and money um we one of our members within costal women she used well she's still an accountant she still has the business but she's actually spending more of her time in Spain and she course recently um and only men turned up to the course because it was all about finances and she said to me you know this is really bizarre and I said women just don't like to talk about money so interesting yeah yeah that is very interesting and I wonder to first of all  how we can like unpack a whole bunch of stuff about like our our culture and stuff but I will say really quickly that you know in the United States women couldn't have their own checking account until like the 70s 1970s to be clear that blew my mind when I heard this and I was thinking about the women in my line oh I'm going to get I get like goosebumps already but the women in my line before me and how unempowered they were to make their own financial decisions not only to make their own money but to make decisions about it and I remember when I moved to Oklahoma uh I met with this very very cool very powerful woman in my mind and I remember talking to her about how she really wanted to get this certification for this training thing that she was doing I can't remember and she said well I have to ask my husband and I just don't know if it's going to fit in our budget and I was like well don't don't you budget together or don't you have your own money and she's like well I don't have my own money and I was like flabbergasted by this yeah um because the work that we're doing is not necessarily trying to I'm going be really careful when I say this it's not that we're trying to replace men as partners or anything like that but it's like coming together as individuals who are both not only able but willing to talk about money is so important because money is our biggest form of energy exchange and it helps us make decisions make like like it helps us make moves and I want to be a person that's making moves in the world and um yeah so anyway I just think about my my own mother and my grandmother and my great-grandmother and how uh I am breaking generational chains deciding to be a person who is in charge of her own money now I've been with my husband for 18 years we've been married for like almost 12 and we have a joint account that we pay certain things out of and then we have our own money and there are certain things we just pay for on our own but we also make informed decisions together I know what he has in his bank account he knows what I have in mine and we're making family-led decisions but none of them are like oh I have to ask him for permission for this I've never I've never had to do that I'll come to him for counsel sometimes to be like hey what do we think about this or this is a big move I'm making I want to make sure we're both okay with this but in the end he's like it's your money you know like I trust you as my wife to decide to make smart decisions and I trust him to do the same so anyway it's wild we have a lot of this ingrained in us that like women aren't quote good with money and I want to I want to bust that I think we just haven't had the permission of the access from the outside world and I think we can claim it we can claim it yeah yeah yeah I have got a friend here who um she lived here a long she's lived here a long time she went to buy a car and she was told well you have to bring your husband if you want to buy a car said I don't have a husband he said well you can't buy the car then I mean this was this was like in the 1980s but seriously that is wild oh my gosh that's wild so yeah I mean it's still happening you know it's still happening yeah yeah and it's interesting I've never never thought of it being relational but it is isn't it it's so engraved in our history that it just shows up and it's something that we need to work on and and fight for and um take control over and it's true whether you have a partner or not right like I mean one of the cool things about women being able to have their own money that they don't need a partner but even if you do have a partner like this is it's just the stickiest topic for so many couples I think it's the number one reason why people divorce is because they disagree on money so doing your own work and your own money mindset and your own money origin stories and then having your partner do it as well and then coming together like that's how you build a marriage right because money will just reveal your values it reveals what you value what you prioritise and if you differ on that from someone it's like how do you have respect for it how do you talk to each other about it how do you agree on things so we're still working on it 18 years in and it always brings up opportunity for us to be like okay let's work on this so I'm thankful for that yeah yeah yeah do you have a superpower apart from hurray you know I this one was tough for me and I think it's because I don't always have the privilege of of seeing myself from the outside in but somebody once told me that one of my best superpowers was being able to create that safe and sacred space for someone and that turns into opportunities for people to reveal themselves to me like I'm one of those people that when we get talking suddenly someone's told me their whole life story and we've talked about this and they feel so encouraged and they're like how this we were literally just talking about this banana you know like how did this happen so um I'm very aware now that when I especially I'm intentional about it that I can create a very safe vacuum a very safe container a very safe bubble for someone to reveal themselves that's worked a great deal for people to physically reveal themselves in the bra fitting room but that also really aids me as a coach as a friend as a mentor as someone who's I'm just a fellow human that's like hey it's okay for you to actually tell me what's really going on I really hate the question how are you unless you really mean it it's not a greeting to me they're like hey how are you I'm like do you really want to know because like I'm actually a complex human with many things going on right now um so I usually don't greet people that way if I don't have the time to really listen so I'll just be like hey great to see you hey love that hat hey awesome that you're here today no question and then if we really want to know like hey how are you really doing today because then you can take a breath and tell me how you're really doing that's that's my superpower is that people are like oh I can really tell this person and not be judged and just be able to be myself that's my superpower yeah yeah I can I can see that totally especially with the history you've got in your business life how that could be you know it's evolved over time and that definitely is a superpower being able to see people wals and clothes and all no clothes the whole thing no clothes yeah exactly I will say another superpower that I take for granted a lot because this is just me being born the way I am um I love being on television I love doing TV I make it's so goofy to me when people are like oh my God I could never go on TV how embarrassing that makes me so nervous of course I get nervous you know it's a big deal and especially on live TV oh my gosh I I genuinely love it and Thrive and shine on television I absolutely love doing it so so that's another superpower of mine too cool what will you achieve before the end of this year okay so I have big financial goals this year I've made big investments in my own support and um mentorship and so I have a big Financial goal for sure but actually what I feel like I'll achieve by the end of this year is transformation so you know I started my business 10 years ago when I was 29 about to turn 30 that was such a significant year of transformation like astrologically but also just like culturally you know turning 30 is a big deal so I turned 40 in January so literally at the end of this year would be like my last time being 39 and I'm already making massive waves and updates within my business so um that looks like some practical things like my team um some of the software and systems that we're we're using some of the offerings that I'm putting into place but it has a big deal to do with me and my identity so I actually think my identity is going to shift a lot this year and a really powerful way and I expect to be showing up big time by the end of this year um I also hope to be pregnant eventually that's like a big thing on my to-do list that my husband and I have been trying for four years okay so I'm really at a place of Peace around if it happens tomorrow or it happens in another four years like truly okay um so but I'll call that in I'll say hey let's do that we'll see I'm open yeah yeah well fingers crossed with that one my mom was 42 when I was born so yeah okay so hey I've got that's what I mean I've got some years I'm not stressed about it I was for a while there and now I just feel really appease about it I really do it feels like a it's going to happen when it's supposed to happen kind of a thing so I'm I'm obviously trying to meet that desire with my actions which is a important thing for us to do with anything um so I'm not expecting a virgin birth for example but I'm also not forcing it and there are certain steps that a lot of people have taken are encouraging me to take that I don't feel ready to take yet it feels forceful and eventually might be the right Stu but right now my level of action is mostly about surrender and just taking really good care of myself and then doing the necessary things with my husband when we need to but yeah you hear so many stories about people that um were really stressed about it nothing happens and then they just relax into it and that's what what they needed to do so yeah yeah yeah exactly which that's like anything that was like meeting my husband actually and then it's also like building a business or calling in the big client it's like it's not that you don't care anymore it's that you stop forcing and and pushing and instead open your palm and say okay I'm ready to receive it's a it's a reception so um you know it's going to happen absolutely that trust that surrender and then letting go of the timeline is the biggie for me that's my big my Big Goal this year is to like lovingly let go of the timeline yeah yeah what would be your advice to a younger can I um so I think my advice always is to to like realise how lovable you are because I think even in the past 10 years of building this business uh my assignment anytime I feel like there's been a bit of a a lull a hiccup a roadblock um in any kind of Prayer I've had has always been like can you actually just love on yourself through this because I want you to see how much I love you like that's that divine unconditional love that when you tap into that it's like makes the process so much easier so you know I think of myself even when I was like 15 like she just needed to hear like actually you're really okay as you are you're really lovable and it's like like practicing that love and receiving that love is actually going to make like sooe soothe this whole situation so please just love yourself that would be my advice yeah beautiful what's the best way for people to connect with you after this call I love for people to come to Instagram that's my favorite place to hang out so I'm one of those people on a on one of these podcasts where I'm like actually please DM me like come say that you heard me on the podcast tell me which one because I'm on several and then let me know you know like what what you learned what was a takeaway if you have a question so please come over I'm HurrayKimmay on everything so it's h u r r a y k i m m a y I'm also on Tik Tok and all the other places and then hurraykimmay.com is a great place for anybody to get a lot of the information that I was talking about in fact if you go to hurraykimmay.com class that is where you can get some free braw information so I have a free fit guide to even tell if your bra fits and then I also have a free class that sort of walks you through like a taste of the course that I have just to see if it's a good fit for you but you you'll learn so much information in the first two resources anyway so totally worth it for you to go there um yeah those are the best ways to get in touch with me cool well I'm sure lots of people are going to reach out to you because it's super inspirational your story and you are super inspirational I'm excited that you've been on my show so thank you very much and my pleasure look forward to seeing you soon maybe in Spain I know maybe in Spain trust me I just brought it up with my team member today to be like maybe I would love to come to Spain so if anyone out there is listening and you're in Spain let's meet up I'd love to come that's on my list that's on my bucket list so Ali thank thank you so much for making the time for me today and for asking me such beautiful questions it was such an honour to be here thank you Kimmay. I really hope you enjoyed this latest recording of the make it happen series and I'd love you to subscribe to our podcast Channel or if you're watching this on our YouTube channel just click the Subscribe button we'd love you to continue hearing and seeing more of our make it happen interviews if you're not a member of Costa women yet but you're a woman who is living in Spain or a woman who is thinking about moving to Spain do come and join us at Costa women.com it's completely free to join in the meantime I look forward to sharing more make it happen interviews with you bye for now.