)%20(57).png)
Further Your Lifestyle
Further Your Lifestyle
EP. 175 - Choosing Must Over Should | Further Your Lifestyle Podcast
WATCH IT HERE: https://youtu.be/EJZjmgPdxvk
Have you ever wondered why we often feel compelled to follow certain paths that leave us unfulfilled and stressed? This episode tackles the profound difference between living by "shoulds"—those societal, familial, and self-imposed expectations—and honoring our "musts," which are our truest passions and desires. By exploring relatable scenarios like choosing a career based on family tradition or sticking to hobbies that are socially acceptable, we reveal how external pressures can trap us in an inauthentic life. We then delve into the undercurrents of self-discovery, courage, and the daunting task of overcoming fear, offering a compelling narrative on why it's crucial to distinguish between these two guiding forces.
Join us as we uncover the transformative power of embracing authenticity and following our "musts." We'll share insights into how prioritizing what genuinely resonates with us can lead to deeper satisfaction, personal growth, and authentic relationships. This episode is a heartfelt call to introspection and bravery, encouraging you to step away from conventional paths and pursue a life that is truly your own. Whether you’re grappling with societal expectations or seeking a more authentic existence, this conversation promises to inspire and guide you towards a fulfilling lifestyle anchored in your true desires.
00:00 Welcome to Further Your Lifestyle Podcast
00:11 Introduction to 'Should vs Must'
01:53 Understanding 'Should' and Its Implications
05:15 Defining 'Must' and Its Key Points
08:11 Exploring Self Discovery
09:23 Courage and Authenticity
10:44 Overcoming Fear
12:02 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
13:43 Closing Remarks
Podcast Sponsors:
Hi Voltage Bargains
Robert Piper
Ethan “Rooshock”
The BOLO Hunter
Tiger4Life73
2ndHandGuy Vic
Cazie Blossom
▬▬▬▬ CONNECT ▬▬▬▬
PODCAST: http://podcast.furtheryourlifestyle.com/
Podcast Merch
https://www.furrii.com/collections/podcast-merch
► SUBSCRIBE to the podcast on
▹ Spotify | https://bit.ly/FYL_Spotify
▹ Apple Podcast | https://bit.ly/FYL_Apple
▹ Google Podcast | https://bit.ly/FYL_GooglePod
► Let's CONNECT on social media:
▹ instagram | http://www.instagram.com/furtheryourlifestyle
▹ twitter | http://www.twitter.com/furtheryourlife
▹ email | hello@furtheryourlifestyle.com
► WEBSITE
▹ www.furtheryourlifestyle.com
» Newsletter: https://artisanal-teacher-7863.ck.page/d2d8345cfb
MUSIC:
» via https://www.epidemicsound.com/referral/6hfvrv
Continue the conversation: @furtheryourlifestyle
Join the Newsletter: check it out
Yo yo yo. Welcome back to the Further your Lifestyle podcast conversations on lifestyle passions and hustles. My name's Chris, I am your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you. Episode 175 today, and we're talking about a key concept and I actually alluded to it last week's episode, in episode 174, and that topic is should versus must. Now, this actually comes from an article of inspiration that I found while I was just browsing the internet I like to browse on mediumcom and it comes from Ali Luna and it's about the crossroads of should and must. So I started to dive into it a little bit and it became very relevant and makes so much sense and it is relevant to furthering your lifestyle. And I wanted to also explore these two different paths around what we face in life, which is essentially should and the path of must, and I'll get into the topics of definition of these in a minute, but before we do roll the intro, what we're going to go into is I'm going to take you through each one, help you understand what should and what must means and what does that look like and the impacts that it has, but then we're going to address it into these. I think it's three key areas of themes, right One, self-discovery. Two, courage and authenticity. And then three we'll be overcoming fear, and then we'll probably talk about a few other little things as we wrap up. So it is a jam-packed episode. Buckle up, get cozy. If this resonates with you, then please share it with someone else. You can drop a comment down below as well if you want to continue the conversation and if you are new here, make sure you hit like subscribe, and that really does help the podcast grow. If you're here on the YouTube, that is Otherwise. If you're over on one of the streaming platforms, whether it's Spotify or maybe Apple Podcasts, then by all means please give a little review there as well.
Speaker 1:Let's roll the intro and let's get into it. Okay, so the first thing that we need to do is we need to understand what is this whole concept of should and the implications of it, and what does it mean. So, if I read it out from a definition standpoint, should represents the expectations and the obligations imposed by society, family and oneself. It encompasses all the things people feel they are supposed to be doing, driven by external pressures and conventional thinking. The key points here are external expectations. Should is often based on what others expect of us, right, such as social norms or societal norms or cultural traditions or family obligations or traditions, which some of this is fine, but some of it is really bad right, and you can probably make that decision yourself. The other point here is conventional thinking. It involves following a path that is deemed acceptable and safe only by the majority, and when you're a minority you feel like, oh, you don't feel safe, you don't feel secure or you feel left out. So therefore you fall back to the conventional thinking, like a sheep following its flock or a herd of sheep to its slaughter. And then the third point is pressure in obligation. People often feel pressured to conform to should in order to fit in or to gain approval or to avoid conflict. Now, I struggle with some of this big time because I'm a people pleaser. I don't like to let people down, but I also like to bring out the best version possible, and I also like to think of things in a positive manner. That maybe there's a better understanding for this, but sometimes you can get pushed over by doing that. So take that into account. I've got a couple of examples for you. For instance, you might pursue a career chosen by a family tradition rather than a personal interest. Another one might be you might get married by a certain age because it's expected by society, or you might choose a hobby or activity that is popular or socially accepted rather than one that you truly enjoy or want to dwell into. So there is a big impact from this right.
Speaker 1:By focusing on the shoulds, we tend to have a lack of fulfillment. Right, following a should can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and unfulfilled potential, and we want the best for you, I want the best for you anyway. And by not doing what you want and focusing on what you should be doing because that's what everyone says you won't feel fulfilled in the long run anyway. It also creates stress and anxiety. Trying to meet these external expectations can cause huge weighted stress and anxiety just for the unnecessarily right. Unnecessarily so. That's a big point for me. Mental health is a big one. And then the final point impact is inauthentic living. You're not even living to your true self when you should, when you follow all these shoulds or when you do what you should because of what people have said you should do, confused with your obligations around, your responsibilities and your accountabilities. That's different. I'm talking about the pressures and unstated expectations because of our own insecurities, because we think that this is the only way to do it, because we see others doing it that way. Focus on being your true version and then we can remove that lack of fulfillment, we can leave that stress and anxiety at the door and we can become our authentic selves.
Speaker 1:So let's understand must right and again I'll define it out for you and we'll go through some key points. The definition of must is represents an individual's true calling, passion and authentic self, about following one's inner voice and pursuing what one genuinely loves and believes in, even if it means stepping away from societal norms. So the key points here is the inner voice, right. It's guided by what you truly want and what you truly believe in and it reflects on your deepest desires and passions. You know it. You know it. Don't hide it. Don't be a turtle and hide it in your shell. Let it out.
Speaker 1:And that's the next key point, which is authenticity. It means we live a life that is true to who we are and who we say we are and who we want to be, rather than conforming to what others expect or assume or suggest. And it takes courage and it takes a lot of risk, but when we follow must, it often requires us to be brave and be willing to take the risks. One to be ourselves. But it can also involve significant changes and stepping into the unknown, because maybe it's a path unknown no one's treaded it before which makes sense because no one else is you right. You are you and you need to build that and create what that looks like. So some examples of this is changing careers to follow a passion, even if it means you have to start over. Maybe pursuing a creative endeavor like writing, art or music, or maybe it doesn't have the practical considerations, but it's still something that you're interested in. And then the third one would be maybe making a lifestyle choice that aligns to your personal values, such as sustainable living or minimalism, and it's quite different to everyone else. These are all just examples.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying this is what it should be or what it will be, but they're just ideas of what other people are doing. So how does this have an impact on us? Right, I think again, fulfillment and joy being a big one, but it brings out the deeper sense of satisfaction and joy, growth and learning by following the musts of what we want. It often involves personal growth, getting out of our comfort zones, learning. It does actually help us become that true version of ourselves and our best version of ourselves, and then it builds that authentic relationships. It means that if we're living authentically, that can lead to more genuine and fulfilling relationships with others and they will respond to your true self because that's who you're showing them. You're not showing them something else that you think you should be, but you're showing them the person you must be, because that is you. So the whole idea around this is it leads to a path of authenticity, right, and I've already touched on that a bit, but that's the key element here is we want to be our true selves because we At some point it's going to want to come out and you don't want to fight that. It's not going to be nice. So at the start of this episode I said there's going to be a number of key themes that I want to touch on, which is self-discovery, courage and authenticity and overcoming fear. And the first one is self-discovery, and a lot of this will play over to the points we've already talked about. But self-discovery it really comes down to we said this so introspection in identifying what our true passions are and desires, and I spoke about this in last week's episode. I finished it on it.
Speaker 1:Actually, understanding is like take a moment to pull back, zoom out and understand. What are you doing? Where are you going? Why are you doing what you're doing Like? Why are you working the job you work? Where are you in life? What are you working towards? How did you get here? Is this what you want? All these different things Like that self-reflection and maybe you already do this, maybe you do it through journaling, maybe you do it through meditation, but you need to find a way to get this information through a self-reflection process and it might be seeking feedback from other people. But just take a moment, press pause and figure out the importance of what it is that you're doing and does it align to your true desires and to your true passions? Because, if not, you got to do something about it. You need to recognize what is a should and what is a must, Because a should is going to be controlled by someone else Not controlled, sorry. It's going to be influenced or coming from an outwards perspective. Now, I'd say that sometimes I shouldn't must mine a line, because maybe it is what you want and it just so happens, that's just the way other people have said because they've been helping you say that, no, this is what we think you should do, but is it what you must do to get where you want to be right and that's what you need to call that? Does that align with who you are, who you want to be, your values, your idea, and is it going to help you further your lifestyle?
Speaker 1:Number two was then courage and authenticity. And when, for me, I wanted to start a business, I wanted to have my own business. I didn't know what it looked like, but it meant I had to. It was a must. I had to step away from working for someone else. If I wanted to see that happen, I had to take the courage and I had to be authentic with myself and figure out what's that going to look like. I had to face my fears and I had to step away and make that happen. I had to explore the challenges of it. Right, I had to really step away from that society norm of working the nine to five comfort of a nice six-figure salary coming in, no problems. But I had to work my butt off. I had to do it to help build someone else's dream and that's scary as heck, but you need to embrace that right.
Speaker 1:Whatever that courage is, or whatever it requires you to do, that's what it will take and that's the only way. Unfortunately, that is the only way you need to explore that, and it will mean you have to get a little uncomfortable and look, keeping it short and sharp. That leads into overcoming fear. Right, when we break free from the shoulds, when we let go of the common fears or the barriers or the things that chain us to this path of should, we become free. We can be free, we can be ourselves and we can start to actually move towards where we want to be.
Speaker 1:And I think it's just comes down to there's no perfect way of doing this. But if you're feeling the friction, if you're challenging yourself, why am I doing this? There's obviously something else you'd rather be doing. And how do you get there? I think it comes down to really just making sure you understand that and then start to work through. What does that potentially look like? What does this mean? What will this require Now for me?
Speaker 1:I wanted something so bad that I was willing to walk away from the comfort of a jobs and all those things and four years later, I'm still not even making the same amount right. But I am living the life that I totally love, totally enjoy, and I'm building something which I'm going to be proud of it now. But I'm going to be even more proud of it because I know it's going to be bigger, better and more fulfilling in the long run, not just for me, but for my loved ones as well. So that's the benefit of taking such big risks. But they're risks. They're going to be unknowns, they're going to mean you're going to have to get uncomfortable. That's the reality of it. So I want to finish with a quote, and that quote is the two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. And that's from Mark Twain, beautiful quote.
Speaker 1:Because when you know what you want, when you know why you're doing something, when you know what you're doing and what's it going to lead to, and the opportunity it's fulfilling, it's motivating and it's encouraging. There will be days where things suck, things aren't great, it's not all sunshine and rainbows or unicorn farts, but the average is better than bad right. And you're doing something which is going to pay the dividends of your life legacy of what you wanted and what you're creating, something, which is you're creating the best version of yourself, and that's really what it comes down to. Are you wanting to continue to do the things that you should do because this is what everyone else has done and that's the way we do it and this is what they expect Go to school, get an education, get a bank loan, get a house, work a job and that's it.
Speaker 1:Or are you going to create something? Or are you going to become the world's next best artist? Maybe you just want to play soccer for a living, and you don't even have to be the best. Maybe you want to open Pokemon cards. Maybe you want to start a podcast. Maybe you want to be a builder. Maybe you want to be a tradie. Maybe you want to raise puppies. I don't know. I don't know what you want to do. Only you do, and that's why you need to make sure you figure out what that is and start working towards that and do the musts that are going to get you there.
Speaker 1:Don't do the shoulds that other people are saying, unless that aligns to the musts that you must do in order to get what you want, in order to further your lifestyle. If you have any questions, comments or you want to continue the conversation more than happy to do so you can jump down below here on the YouTube and leave a comment, drop a message and we can have that chat. If you enjoyed this, please subscribe, hit the like button, reach out and connect, or leave a review on one of the different podcast platforms and we'll be back here next week doing it all again. I really appreciate being able to spend this time and have these conversations with you. It means even the world to me even more when I hear from you. So if you enjoy this, please let me know, please share it, and you have a wonderful day. Cheers you.
.png)