The Problem With Good Intentions

The problem with good intentions is that they’re subjective. Plus, I may have good intentions but what ‘good’ are they if my impact is still harmful?

Wise intentions are different. Wise intentions are objective and aspirational. When I remember to set and follow them, I’m less likely to hurt anyone and more likely to be helpful and even, maybe, contribute in some small way to the good

Dedicated to the U.S. women’s soccer (football) team, for the win
 …and for a much bigger win in November.

Transcript

Hi everyone, it’s Judi Cohen, and this is Wake Up Call 453. And here we are, feet firmly planted on the Eightfold Path, the eight steps to the end of suffering, or to waking up:

wise view, wise intention, wise communication, wise action, wise livelihood, wise effort, wise mindfulness, and wise concentration.

Today let’s look at Step 2: wise intention. There is a big conversation right now about how good intention is only half the equation. About how it’s important to have good intentions, but impact also matters, or matters even more. And about how, no matter how good the intention, if the impact is harmful, amends must be made – if they can be. 

I agree with this conversation. I feel like for too long, in the world and including or maybe especially in the law, those with privilege and power have said to those without as much of one or either, and who are hurt by their words or actions, “but my intentions were good. It’s too bad you can’t just appreciate that and let it go.” 

I have a problem with this on a number of levels. Systemically, I feel like this approach has landed us in a moment of deep divisiveness where a very few humans feel free – or even morally bound – to impose their views – and not their wise views – on others, under the guise of good intentions but fundamentally to profit or consolidate power. 

Interpersonally, causing harm and claiming innocence because in my own estimation my intentions were good, is a recipe for causing more harm. Personally, I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of a powerful person’s purported good intentions.

From a mindfulness perspective, though, I can’t only agree with this conversation. I also have to say, “yes, and.” 

Yes, good intention – genuine or bogus – is not enough, when it’s a shadow behind which we hide when our impact has been to cause harm. And, good intention is still crucial.

Or not good intention, but wise intention. Good intention is subjective. If my personal view is that my intention is good, what more can anyone say, and what more can I say, until we get to the part about how I’ve nevertheless caused someone harm. 

Wise intention, on the other hand, is supported by 2,600 years of scholarship, reflection, and practice, both on and off the cushion. 

The elements of wise intention align with the Five Precepts. The Five Precepts are aspirational and point towards greater ease, wellbeing, and happiness. They derive from the ancient texts as a recipe for a good life and for harmonious society. 

The Five Precepts are to do no harm, not steal, not cause harm with sexuality, communicate wisely, and not use intoxicants to cloud the mind. Thich Nhat Hanh created something he called the Five Mind Trainings, and which open up the Five Precepts to this moment in time. The full version is too long to share so here’s a consolidated version:

Reverence For Life

Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating…compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to support any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, or in my way of life. Seeing that harmful actions arise from anger, fear, greed, and intolerance…I will cultivate openness…in order to transform violence, fanaticism, and dogmatism in myself and in the world.

True Happiness

Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, I am committed to practicing generosity in my thinking, speaking, and acting. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others; and I will share my time, energy, and material resources with those who are in need. … I am aware that happiness depends on my mental attitude and not on external conditions, and that I can live happily in the present moment simply by remembering that I already have more than enough…to be happy. I am committed to…help[ing] to reduce the suffering of living beings on Earth and [to] stop contributing to climate change.

True Love

Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I am committed to cultivating responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society. … I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct. … Recognizing the diversity of human experience, I am committed not to discriminate against any form of gender identity or sexual orientation. 

Loving Speech and Deep Listening

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace…. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope. When anger is manifesting in me, I am determined not to speak. … I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to utter words that can cause division or discord. I will practice … to nourish my capacity for understanding, love, joy, and inclusiveness, and gradually transform anger, violence, and fear that lie deep in my consciousness.

Nourishment and Healing

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I am committed to cultivating good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming. … I am determined not to gamble, or to use alcohol, drugs, or any other products which contain toxins, such as certain websites, electronic games, TV programs, films, magazines, books, and conversations. I will practice coming back to the present moment to be in touch with the refreshing, healing and nourishing elements in me and around me, not letting regrets and sorrow drag me back into the past nor letting anxieties, fear, or craving pull me out of the present moment. I am determined not to try to cover up loneliness, anxiety, or other suffering by losing myself in consumption. I will … consume in a way that preserves peace, joy, and well-being in my body and consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family, my society and the Earth.

Let’s practice with these, and just to lift up that in the end, if we practice with wise intention, then by definition there is much less chance for there to be harmful impact, and if there is harm, it is likely to be addressed, apologized for, and healed. 

So let’s sit with wise intention, the intention to aspire to live a life informed by the Five Precepts.