Behaving With Wisdom

Behaving mindfully is not always easy. Don’t cause harm, don’t take anything that’s not mine to take, don’t be biased, don’t cloud the mind, always be kind: it’s clear what the invitation is. But for me it’s not easy to remember to accept that invitation and live each moment like that.

What is easy for me to remember, when I’ve caused harm or taken more than my share or harbored (or spoken with) ill will, is that it’s possible to take responsibility, make things right as best as I can, and learn from my missteps. 

Not comfortable and not easy, but possible. And sometimes, from ‘possible’ I can get to forgiveness (forgiving myself). And to gratitude, for sometimes, getting a second chance.

Transcript

Hi everyone, it’s Judi Cohen, and this is Wake Up Call 455. We’re exploring the Eightfold Path, the path to liberation. We explored wise view and wise intention, which are considered the wisdom elements of the path. And then on the last Wake Up Call I talked about wise communication, the first of the three middle steps on the path and which are considered the ethical elements of the path. The other two ethical elements are wise action and wise livelihood. 

As with wise communication, with wise action we aren’t talking about a set of rules that tell us what we’re allowed to do. We’re talking about a set of guidelines that we’re invited to turn into aspirations, really for our whole life. 

There are five aspirations included in wise action. The first is to do no harm. Next is to take nothing that is not freely offered. The third is to not misuse sexuality. The fourth is to not use substances to impair the mind, and the fifth is to not undertake unmindful communication.

In reverse order, “no unmindful communication” is named as part of the way we “act” in the world, I think because we are communicating beings. And, the guidelines are those from last week that make up the pieces of wise, or mindful, communication: consider the timing whenever we’re about to speak, write, or post; be truthful, or honest; be kind; do our best to make our communication beneficial to those receiving it; and communicate with a heart and mind filled with goodwill.  The question I feel like we have to pay attention to, and which can get in the way of this element of mindful communication – this element of wise action – is, how can we do this in an adversarial profession, or world? And I feel like we have to pay attention to this question not so much because it has a yes or no answer, but because the question itself can sideline us and I don’t really feel, anymore, like we have a yes or no choice. I feel like we have to say yes and then communicate mindfully. I’ve seen so many powerful examples of this over the last few days, and maybe you have, too.

The fourth guideline of wise action is to not use substances to impair the mind. For me this breaks down into two categories. 

In one category are the obvious ways I’m tempted use, or habituated, to reaching for something, however benign, when I’m trying to escape whatever set of feelings I’m having. It’s not that mindfulness says, never have a glass of wine after a long day. It’s that it says, remember, when we use alcohol, drugs, or any substance for the purpose of impairing the mind – or sometimes it’s called “clouding the mind” - we’re backing away from waking up. We’re saying, I want to be asleep to – I want my mind to be clouded as to how this moment feels. I maybe have a sense that there’s fear or sorrow or exhaustion or overwhelm, and I’m using something to avoid whatever is here. Which is anathema to our practice, which is to be with whatever is present, moment by moment.  

In another category of not using substance to impair or cloud the mind, there are the Netflix shows I choose, the amount of social media I engage in, the news, certain films, books, even certain people. There’s an ancient mindfulness instruction to “close the sense doors” – the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, sensations of the skin and internal sensations, and the mind – so as to not let in anything harmful, and to me this instruction seems like a part of wise action.

Don’t misuse sexuality, the third guideline, starts with not harming children, the family, or society, with our sexuality. Then it points in a less obvious but to me equally important direction, which is not to have bias against anyone regardless of their gender identity, sexual orientation, or who or how they choose to love, and not perpetrate or allow others – to the best of my ability – to perpetrate oppression against anyone on the basis of these things. 

The second guideline, take nothing not freely offered, is first of all about not stealing. I’m guessing most of us don’t do that at least in the conventional sense. But a deeper investigation is an invitation to consider whether I’m taking more than I need. I know sometimes I am. And what is the wisest action to take, when I do that? Or to ask whether I’m taking more than my share, since, on a more existential level, only “my share” is what’s freely offered to me. What do I do about the fact that I know my share is larger than many people’s share? Am I giving back? What does that look like? Can I do more? It’s something to sit with. 

As is the question of whether I’m doing my best to not enrich myself, and to prevent others from enriching themselves, from human suffering and the suffering of other species on the earth, and the earth herself, yet another dimension of not taking what’s not freely offered. As an American living in the third decade of the 21st century, it’s almost impossible for me not to be enriching myself in this way. I feel that and feel like it’s something for anyone in a similar position to mine to contemplate.

The first element of wise action, and the last one I’ll talk about, is to do no harm. I like talking about this element because I feel like it has so many permutations: don’t cause any physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual harm to anyone. Don’t be biased. Don’t hate. Don’t oppress. Don’t cause any harm to the earth or to non-human species. The invitation here is to go to the body and pay attention to any moment that feel like it could cause harm to any being – including ourselves – and then stop, take a break, observe what’s happening, and shift into a wiser course of action.

Sometimes it feels like wise action is a big ask. But more often to me these days it feels like the only sane way to be in the world. When I can follow the guidelines even pretty well, I feel better and I can tell that so do the people around me. When I forget, when I cause harm, take more than my share, notice bias in myself towards someone who loves in a different way than I do, impair my mind, or use words that are unkind, the most important thing for me is to remember to act wisely as to myself: to not be angry at myself for these lapses or moments of ignorance and to remember I’m doing my very best, and then, to shift – into wise action. I hope that’s helpful.