Kim Hartwell - From moving up mountains to moving through motherhood

Kim Hartwell is a highly qualified and respected  international mindfulness and movement coach with a passion for adventure and inspiring others. In 2018 Kim founded Rock and Soul Adventure Retreats to combine her love of rock climbing, yoga and being outside in nature.  Last year Kim became a mother to Indie and having recently become a mother myself I found it fascinating talking to Kim about the journey into early motherhood, regaining identity, and how we can learn from the innate primal instincts our babies embody.

Image 📸 @tomyoungphotography 

Find Kim on Instagram - @kimhartwell

Kim's website -https://kimhartwell.com

Rock and Soul Adventures - https://rockandsouladventures.wordpress.com

You can find this episode on iTunes, Spotify and many other podcast platform 💙

 If you have any questions or would like to suggest a guest please get in touch! You can email India via indiapearsonclarke@gmail.com or send a message via Instagram  @india_outdoors / @finandflow / www.indiapearson.co.uk

~Music - Caleb Howard Almond / @oakandalmondcarpentry 

You can find this episode on iTunes, Spotify and many other podcast platform 

If you have any questions or would like to suggest a guest please get in touch! You can email India via indiapearsonclarke@gmail.com or send a message via Instagram  @india_outdoors / @finandflow / www.indiapearson.co.uk

~Music - Caleb Howard Almond / @oakandalmondcarpentry 

Transcript

ndia Pearson  0:01  
Hello, I'm India and welcome to start a ripple the podcast that celebrates moving in nature. You see, I believe it was a made when we connect movement with nature, not only for our mind and body, but also the environment too. And on this series, I'm speaking to some amazing guests that share that passion. I have their own story to tell. All right, time to introduce this week's guest. Kim Hartwell is an international mindfulness and movement coach with a passion for adventure and inspiring others. In 2018, Kim founded rock insole adventure retreats to combine her love of rock climbing, yoga and being outside in nature. Last year, Kim became a mother to indie and having recently become a mother myself. I found it fascinating talking to Kim about the journey into early motherhood, regaining identity and how we can learn from the innate primal instincts, our babies and body. So hello, Kim, and welcome it started fo how

Kim Hartwell  1:02  
are you? Hey, thanks so much for having me. I'm very well, thank you. How are you?

India Pearson  1:06  
I'm good. I'm so so happy to finally be chatting to you right now, because it's taken us a little while to get here. But we've finally got here.

Kim Hartwell  1:15  
Well, yes, the logistics for the babies always quite an interesting thing to them. But

India Pearson  1:22  
and I think a little disclaimer here. Mallu is in the carrier on me right now. You've got Indy upstairs, asleep. So if you do hear goggles going on,

Kim Hartwell  1:31  
that's what it is.

India Pearson  1:33  
Let's be real. And right. So with that in mind about that we've got two ticking time bombs going on. Let's just dive into your precious. So I've got so much I want to ask you. And I've been kind of following your journey for the last few years. And so obviously, I know little bit about your background, but listeners might not. So can you start by letting us know a little bit about your background, who you are and how you got to where you are today?

Kim Hartwell  2:00  
Absolutely. Well, yeah, thank you so much for having me. Like I said, it's nice to be kind of back into a podcast world has recently I say recently had a baby, we were just discussing how quickly they grow, which is one of those like mob comments. It's ridiculous. I'm currently a mom to me. So I had been the she's almost 11 months now that she's had her 11 months. Yeah. Before that I as a personal trainer, yoga teacher. And kind of prior to that I was a model did the modelling thing and did quite a bit of travelling as well in terms of teaching on retreats, teaching and secondary retreats, I run my own retreat, physical rock concert adventures, which is when we take people out rock climbing, and do yoga and surfing kind of all over the world. So I'm very, very into the world as you are as well as a very similar kind of people with very outdoorsy. And yeah, just like to get outside in nature doing the beautiful things. And the other thing I get most excited about is helping others to feel really amazing in themselves as well. And it came from I think prior to the baby was very much about empowering, particularly women to feel really, really good in their bodies and feeling strong, kind of by being able to feel the empowerment you get from things like training being outside. And then now I'm finding it quite quite a passion of mine to get moms feeling the same way too.

India Pearson  3:16  
Yeah, exactly. And this is what I'm excited to talk to you about about I guess the way that you're evolving since having having indie and yeah, and how your journey is changing and how you have to change and develop and the exciting you know, opportunities that come from that. But my next question to you is is about little thing that you have in your Instagram actually because I think it's very cool. Rocks waves are kind of my rave so you had this as your little tagline a little bit about your passion for climbing and then outdoors by the ocean water sports and how did this develop over your lifetime?

Kim Hartwell  4:01  
Yeah, I mean I grew up by the sea so might you know we're in a very kind of water family My dad was a sailor he was in the Navy and I grew up in Portsmouth for a little bit of my life and then I just like you just have this kind of affinity with being by water being kind of any open I'm pretty much obsessed with I feel like I go to the water and feel this kind of huge healing and I literally will see this moving water and be like ah, I feel like a relief in my body. I'm not sure what it is it does me but when I don't have that I really don't Bill myself so always have this kind of affinity for the sea or kind of being outdoors and obviously there's so many beautiful ways that we can move in nature. I kind of you have to sometimes question like Why Why would we go inside and all this like kind of gym trainers like beautiful gorgeous weather or you know this nature outside. It's always kind of been one of my favourite ways to move in nature and specifically with things like climbing. I think climbing is probably currently On a relatively newer to me like I think we probably started climbing about five years ago. And me and my husband went and did a California road trip before we moved back from New York. And we tried climbing in Yosemite which is a mecca of climbing but we didn't really didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. We just thought it was like seemed like a fun idea. Even we went and we were literally like, Yeah, hi. Like maybe we could like climate Oh, Captain capita. You've been you do like they were literally like, obviously laughing their socks off. But like, you don't just climb it and like, what have you ever climb before? We did this, like cute little taster course, bear, but it did. I just, there's something about climbing. And I think it's very similar what we talked about a lot if in yoga, but also in so many other things, that idea of flow state and I think you really can't get more present and doing things like surfing or yoga. And I think that's what's the attraction for so many people. It's just that presence you get because you actually can't think about anything else because likely drowned or pulled off a rock or whatever. And so I think what I found, like such the alert, things like that, and particularly for the rock climbing, it's just, you find that you can just get entranced by the whole entire thing. And something like rock climbing. And I think particularly as a woman, it's very easy to think, Oh, I can't do it. I have so many women that say to me, like, I'm not strong enough, my upper body is really weak. So I'd be really bad at climbing. But actually, we what we find with climate is the women are really good at because when that little ninjas with our mobility, we're also very well known for having incredibly strong legs because we birthed into custody children. So what you find is that you have this incredible power on the rock. But also, like what you talk about, obviously a lot is you're outside in nature. So my favourite places to climb is like, up rock, overlooking oceans, like you literally are there being like, this is just the most magical thing. That pretty hard with like the surfing thing, as well as just, you know, quite all consuming, isn't it? And you know, the reason why we created rock and soul Adventures is because people felt like it wasn't accessible. And I think that is so important to say to people want to think especially things like yoga as well, just being like, literally, everyone should be able to do it. It's not that you're super special super woman that can only do it or whatever. And what we'd find like what I'd find super rewarding with something like rock console is that people would literally turn up our first one we didn't Devon, their turn off after their like Journey work walking down a cliff right next to the ocean, it'd be like climbing up this guy like this, like insane, like rock face. And obviously at first he gets quite scared and like the adrenaline like the same sort of thing you'd get from surfing. But then when you actually get to ride that incredible wave or when you get to the top of that bored, you're watching the sunset, over the ocean, it's just, I really don't think you can get a lot of things that are better than that.

India Pearson  7:48  
Absolutely, I guess it's that idea that you're working with nature. With both of those disconnecting, surfing climbing, you have to connect with Mother Nature and what she's doing on that day but the weather be it the swell, be it the wind direction, all of those things and you have to be very intuitive and I guess it taps into our kind of primal state a lot of the time and mutual something in the modern world that we have stepped away from so much with technology so bringing it back to those kind of primal feelings is probably what what makes it feel so good and so natural. I don't know i I can only make of it I guess.

Kim Hartwell  8:39  
And I think you'll probably use it as well with your little one is but you I've literally watched Indy and she because naturally climb so well. And she has the natural urge to want to be every climb everything, find stuff get really excited, you know, intrigued by what's at the top of that sofa or whatever. And I think just watching the movement, you can just see how natural that is for us and just from us going living a little bit more sedentary and kind of having these like sit down cultures is that we just lost that along the way. And that's again, what's the beautiful thing is that, you know, things like the sea and the rocks have always been there. Right? So it's it's what we were born to do, essentially.

India Pearson  9:16  
Absolutely. It's so interesting you say about watching how a baby moves because I can watch how Milou breeds and she breeds right from the beginning of almost every class I'm like, right let's send our breath my chest because we've all been breathing in our chest all day. That centre right down to the pit my belly and it will expand full body and that's what she's doing. Yeah, all day every day without realising even like she loves being and happy baby pose. That is her favourite thing and, and that is a pose that you only do if you actively seek out going to a yoga class but it's obviously very good and bodies because that's why you know, babies do it all the time. And it's so strange how the world has gone so far removed from that. And it's so wonderful that people like you are doing these retreats that bring it back to it. And, and yeah, I've kind of seen you guys, what you've done in the past and it just looks amazing. Do you think it's something that you're, you'll start up again? Is it?

Kim Hartwell  10:22  
I'm hoping so it's gonna come along? Yeah, I know I've actually had so many people being like, when is the next one? Can we do one with kids? I'm very much like in the planning stages of kind of, what will it look like with indeed in tow, or you know, what it looks like in terms of going away. And I think potentially, we'll be looking into doing a bit more kind of day post focus, but I want you know, I want kids to be able to come I want parents to be able to come I want to be able to have day adventures. I know you're all about getting out into, you know, these, like mini adventures basically, isn't it? And I think so I would definitely like to think that it's not something that is, you know, going to be sat in the past is definitely something that we're going to be doing lots more with, but I'm still kind of fathoming, what that looks like in the future,

India Pearson  11:03  
I'd say I think it's definitely all possible. It's just, you can't do it on a scale that you used to do, pre baby, these sort of activities. And obviously, if you are used to doing it with your partner, maybe often you have to go solo because one of the you've got to look after baby or whatever. But there's definitely ways around it. And yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited to watch this space, watch this space then. So obviously, you mentioned that you're a yoga teacher. And obviously going to teach myself, I'm always really interested in finding out people's journeys and how they kind of got into yoga and what it means to them. So yeah, because could let us know about that.

Kim Hartwell  11:44  
Yeah, I mean, I think yoga is a funny one, isn't it, it takes some time some people or takes me takes a little bit time for some people to get used to it and really understand what what the essence of yoga is, isn't it? I think when I used to go to yoga school with my mom, would you work experience at her office in front, me, I was a lot younger, and they'd have like one yoga class and they'd like get rid of all the desks and whatever would be doing. And I remember just being like, what I don't really my mom didn't quite understand what we just did, like, just go this direction around or whatever. And I don't think I truly appreciated the essence of yoga until I moved to New York, I moved to New York with my husband's work. And we were there for about three years. And obviously New York is a very intense city. And I was very into like modelling and trying to keep fit and modelling and all the rest of it, I think, I think I just got very jaded and actually probably quite injured with the idea of just go, go, go, go go, it was almost like a competition, how many HIIT classes you could do in a day, if you rest this weekend, I think what I then started to really kind of try out the different yoghurt was and actually started really doing a lot more hatha yoga at the beginning. And I just think what I was so attracted to is that kind of peace and listening. I think it takes a while to understand it gets to that point. But I think that's the beauty of yoga, that's what I got so attracted to is that it kind of allowed me to slow down and give me some sort of peace. And it was that grounding. I think we're had been doing a little bit in the UK before. And then going to America, it gave me that kind of feeling of like home, in terms of just being back in my body being back somewhere that felt safer and grounding, where I was obviously just up in the clouds at this crazy city. And I think our natural instinct or mine definitely is just to keep go go go more, it's more. And I think the beauty of what yoga has always been that running theme throughout my life since then it's just this kind of need to step back need to slow down actually, this more, more more is not what we need. Yeah,

India Pearson  13:46  
this is interesting is that went home actually, because I've been lucky enough to kind of practice and go to yoga classes all in different parts of the world. And every time I roll up my roll out my yoga mat, and I'll sort of come into child's pose normally just to ground myself in the beginning, wherever I am in the world, you get the sense of coming home. And I guess it's a familiar practice if it's familiar with your body and yeah, it can feel very, very grounding. And I can totally appreciate how, how you're the other side of the world but doing a practice that is familiar to you. made you feel safe, I guess. Yeah, in a whirlwind city. And so he went on to, to firstly do your training. So actually, I

Kim Hartwell  14:34  
was I wished I did. I actually did it in New York. But I think what I did come back we moved back from New York, I was probably in like a little bit of a funk with not kind of working out what my life looked like coming back from New York and kind of rebuilding my business and was doing an awful lot of kind of modelling and I think again, I was not so this yoga was this like running thread that I would come back to and I think that's when We find that stillness and we, that's when we start to listen, and we don't do as much running away from our emotions. And it's. So that's, I think I kind of really started to appreciate that essence, because I done my personal training and I was, you know, training people. And I think that I thought, you know, what I can feel how much healing this is doing for me, and I know that this will help my clients is this gonna be something else that I can help other people with? So that's when I started looking into doing my teacher training and actually did my teacher training in Sri Lanka. I did a month intensive there, which was obviously it makes it

India Pearson  15:36  
credible. And, and have you found your yoga practice to be important during your kind of postnatal what even your prenatal journey actually, but your pre and postnatal journey and obviously, the ups and downs that come with motherhood? And I know that for me, I definitely was like, I'm going to try and get I'm gonna get to a yoga class every week.

Kim Hartwell  16:00  
It didn't happen, obviously.

India Pearson  16:02  
But I always have I just gotten 10 minutes to myself a pop something on from YouTube or something. It's been super powerful. And actually, the simple moves since having a baby have been the most effective for me. And I'm just interested to know your take on yoga since having a baby? Because I know from a personal perspective, it's changed a lot for me.

Kim Hartwell  16:27  
Oh, absolutely hugely, I mean, you just don't just don't have the time. I think I really, I was empathetic to people before about not having time with the baby. But I just don't understand it to have what I think I really didn't have the time to do like a 75 minute flow that I would usually do or whatever. So it is really about those pockets. Find when the baby's napping, I found it very frustrating at the beginning because you want you want to cling on to that old life and cling on to needing to do however many minutes of yoga to feel like you've got your your fix or whatever. But actually, what I found very challenging was going back to and one of my self practices, I think, I didn't properly self practice what I would feel like I was really getting into a flow like I used to do until good six, seven months in and I remember one time Dave to Indy, my husband and I actually came came back around and I was like crying because I'd gone into quite a deep hip opener. And I think he's just been where I kind of been running away from this new life. And I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't know what it meant for me going forward. And yoga was actually too rough for me to go back to because I was just like that, you know, I had this beautiful life, this amazing lifestyle. I think I've spoken to quite a few of my friends about it. I think pregnancy and babies pose their different challenges for so many different moms. If you're a mom that had an office job and you have maternity leave, you have to go back to work. That's a challenge in itself. But if you're self employed like us, your work doesn't work unless you work. And then you have to think about how that that's impacting you. And for me, I felt like my lifestyle was exactly like I loved it. Like I was travelling like you travelling all over the world teaching doing what I absolutely adore. Whenever I wanted, I could drop, you know, drop my hat and go to Sri Lanka tomorrow if I wanted to, to do a seven day retreat or whatever. And that changes so so much. And I think I was running away from the being honest with myself about how I felt about that. And so much more recently, and after, though, I think I did that flow and there was like, wow, I need some more yoga in my life and not yoga in the sense of I need to do this many hours of yoga per week manoeuvre in terms of I need to really sit with myself and stop busying myself for the sake of feeling like I need to run away and I actually need to sit with this stuff and be able to process it and heal.

India Pearson  18:50  
Yeah, I think thank you for being so honest about that, because there isn't enough honesty in that place. And it's funny, isn't it? I think I'm a I've always been a busy person, I think that you have thrived on being busy and enjoyed it. But, and I've and trying and trying to work out a healthy level of productivity and business was having a baby is a minefield. And obviously you want to be the best mom you can possibly be whilst also being the best person for yourself and your relationships with other people. And it's not there's no one size fits all. It's very, very unique to the individual. And it's and it's interesting that you said that you felt that release during our hip opener because see women held so much tension in our hips, don't we and and obviously through even like childbirth and all of that, you know, it's where it all sits and I'm sure in MMA shows how powerful releasing the physical body can be for your your mental health. You know they're all tied in. It's all connected. And I think you're really, really honest on your social channels. And, you know, I think it's incredible. And I know that I don't know if you found this, but the shift that I found was that hard is that I was this person. I think being a teacher, you're, you're this person to X amount of people, your students. And I found hard knowing who I was going to go back to those students being because I felt guilty with not returning as the original teacher that they knew me as trying to show up is that and then going, actually, no, that's not me. Now, I'm, I'm now not that person. But feeling like I'm letting my students down by not coming back to them as that and trying to figure that out is what I found quite tough. How's that been for you?

Kim Hartwell  20:52  
Usually, oh, my god, like it seems, I actually have been working with a life coach, a guy called Dan Morgan who actually can't shout and ask about he's really helped me when I felt like I was really in the depths of being lost about who I am, where I was in my life, that I couldn't even think about what it looks like in the next week, year, let alone when Indigo school and he was very good at picking about a part like my emotions, and why these things were coming to me and me having that need that people pleasing need to think that I need to be turning up for certain people me feeling that I felt very guilty and that I somehow owed people for not being as present as I could be, you know, having like you're saying, like being the old teacher that you were for so many people, I think very deep that that's not gone away, I'm still so passionate about helping not just moms and helping people to move and finding my, my flow is a teacher again. But for me, I've actually taken a back step for a while just to really prioritise my own healing, because I don't know I, the problem is you're a little bit damned if you do or damned if you don't with the baby and child care, like you're either feel guilty for not being there for your baby, or you'll feel guilty for not working. And what Dan was very good at doing was identifying what needs I weren't, I wasn't having met. And I think he realised that I didn't have that motivation and inspiration to get up and go in the day. And I was feeling like, I had to go back to some my former capacity to show her self worth and show everybody that I was fine. And that, you know, my perfectionist tendency was like, really like screaming out to not let people know that I have changed and you know, my life is going to change and I, you know, can't go back there's something inside of me being like, no, no, I am still that person. But he's a as he said, like, he was like, you know, you can trace perfectionist tendencies all the way back from being like, for me, I got bullied at school. And he was like, that's probably what you first felt unworthy. And he was like that perfectionism was kind of served you in a way because it's protected you all these times, you actually can't do that when you have a baby. And as you know, you know, I was still pretending that I had energy for one person. But I you know, especially as I was still breastfeeding, and you know, as, as you know, sleepless nights, whatever you're doing is diary. So then I would go and I'm very fortunate and that my gym has crashed. So I wasn't necessarily, I mean, it took a while to get to that point where I was felt comfortable leaving her at the crash, but I would then leave her at the crash, be able to go and do my workout, and then pick her up, which obviously came with its own guilt tendencies as well. But what I was finding is, then when I got in the groove of that, I was really into the gym, like really like trying to not necessarily doing crazy hit sessions or anything like that. But I was, you know, feeling like I had to do all this time at the gym, or like, I wanted to do it. And Dan was saying that actually is me, again, trying to be perfectionism. You know, being a perfectionist in a way that wasn't my work, because my work wasn't there at that time, and I felt like I needed to do some other ways that he was like, it's not actually as beneficial as you think it might be. And what you're what I'm seeing is that you're very tired. And, you know, actually, if I was teaching someone who was post nature, and they were saying to me, I'm absolutely knackered I'm breastfeeding at the moment I find going for a walk tiring, or at the end of the day going to bed and I just need to sleep, then maybe I wouldn't really suggest them going and train me every single day. Yeah. Yeah, it's been a big lesson for sure.

India Pearson  24:28  
Yeah. And that whole idea we have using a lab coat coaches. I've used like a life coach and my life coach Charlotte, I will probably use the rest of my life. I kept in I had like a little extra session with her, I think eight, eight weeks into having money because I just needed that different perspective to get to make me help me work out what I was doing. And it was super simple. I had all the answers in myself but she was just the one going to know If you can't see the trees, and it's, yeah, it's a really amazing thing, actually, you know, having a life coach back, I'm very grateful that I've been able to tap into that. And yeah, you know, it's, it's exhausting. It's exhausting having a baby for so many different reasons, but so many wonderful reasons. But it is important to make those little sacrifices to be yourself. And it but it's hard find that balance between exhaustion and knowing that you need something for yourself, or do you just sleep? And oh,

Kim Hartwell  25:36  
yeah, the identity thing is huge, I think, is huge. Yeah. It's huge. And that's why I think it's amazing that you've been able to do your podcast and, you know, we find our way of finding our feet, I mean, I've still got probably quite a long way to go. And I'm slowly starting to feel a bit more me and starting to see what my life looks like within the this, you know, beautiful, I've been able to, you know, make a part of my life. But I still, I want that sense of independence workwise, I want to be able to still have that ability to teach and influence people the way I use it, because that was my passion. And we don't really do our jobs unless you're really, really passionate about helping people. So at the moment, me helping someone is my indie. But sooner or later, it's going to start becoming much more about, I think, particularly helping moms because, I mean, just, for example, the gym where I am, there's not really postpartum help in terms of like moms, and I'm like, they could very easily have something like that. And you know, these mums, even if you go to a women's health physio, which I'm aware of is a luxury for a lot of people, if you've had that, and then you kind of go to the gym, and you still don't really know what to do. And so it's like you're fathoming this new life, new identity, or with all this stuff going on, and then it's like, how on earth do I even try and fix my setup? Or like the word fix? But like, how do I rebuild myself to feel strong and powerful. And for me, even though I'm saying, you know, I'm going to the gym doing all of this stuff, it's been such a slow and steady burn. And not I would be lying if I said it was completely not nothing to do with aesthetics. But honestly, for my hammerheart 95% of it has been having my confidence back and feeling a bit more like myself and feeling like I'm empowered by doing those things. And that I feel like oh my gosh, like, you know, we've been through this huge, huge life change, and I'm coming out the other side.

India Pearson  27:39  
Is it just you said, actually, because I had to work with a women's health physio. Because yeah, my pelvic floor was doubling down on what I do is to be and I quickly learned that I needed a lot of help with that. And she said to me, she said, Do you think that if you could see your pelvic floor? You would, because I was worried? I wasn't being very good at doing my exercises, you would do your exercises more than the a little bit more? Like, you know, efficient with that. And I was like, yeah, do you know what I'm sure a lot of women would be I'm sure we could see our club. And we would want it to look the way that it should, you know, nice. We would do that after pregnancy after pregnancy. But because you can't see it. It gets forgotten by so many women. And I also learned that you know, if you once you hit menopause, you lose oestrogen. And oestrogen is what keeps that pelvic floor nice and strong. So we can Hi. Yeah, like, it's so and there isn't enough education in it. And I think in Germany, it was Germany or France, or both those countries, you get like an eight week postpartum course, and all of this. And I really, really feel that there's a massive space for this. So I'm so happy that this is potentially something that you're you're looking into doing. And I really do think that it's something that that we all need to know more about. Because it's so important. It's super important.

Kim Hartwell  29:12  
I think, I mean, the thing is, I mean, it's not even a women's only problem pelvic floor effects everyone is reading man, it's a running joke in CrossFit got a lot of men from the floor because they can't manage their intra abdominal pressure. It's like a really fast way of just saying can't manage all that kind of rest. And yeah, and I think that people, it's just such a taboo subject you kind of I want people to know, like, I got invited to an event and it not that long after the baby and it was about it was a running event. And I kind of didn't go back to them going Oh no, I'm not running yet. Because of this whenever I say I kind of want to tell people especially guys, it's not because I sit there going to think I'm gonna pee myself every two seconds and oh my god, you know or stuff that I want. So but, but it is just that kind of, I carried a very heavy weight in my stomach, it put a lot of pressure on everything. And so actually continuing to put an awful lot of pressure straight after no matter even if you have the perfect but it's still it's trauma to your body. So then yeah, actually isn't a good idea you going you can get back into running of course, but actually, I just feel like there's there's not enough conversation and like things like periods, it's all very much like you or your period about tampons is it this is not enough education and the kind of want to be this is why these sorts of things are being discussed. This is why that girl is doing mountain climbers instead of jumps or whatever. And just give people I want to give women and particularly moms the confidence to know that it is not broken and it cannot not be fitted like you know, there's there's things that you can do that can damage control, the symptoms, your is amazing professionals, women's health professionals that can help you with that. And I honestly think hand on heart, even though I said earlier, it's a luxury, if you can somehow make that a priority, then it will just help with your confidence in every single other thing. I think it's such a personal point of view. And I remember nearly crying to my Women's Health physio being like, I just feel broken, I don't feel like myself. And know what you've got your relationship with your husband and his baby was so much going on. And I just I just didn't get it until you have a baby. It's just such a well world away. And I want to tell that, you know, you know how many people how many mums do we know, they all feel the same, you know, the same things. And you kind of want to like cuddle them and say you know what, that's okay, and feel you're not broken, and you will feel really freaking great again, and it's not about doing a million abs to start feeling good. In your stomach. Again, it's about feeling frickin great, because you're strong, powerful, and to found your flow again in life. Absolutely. And

India Pearson  32:01  
you know, and it's normal, it all of us is so normal. And so what is it? You're sort of saying finding your flow again? And what is it that that makes you feel like you're in flow state now within d? What is it that you kind of tapped into? And obviously before you were saying it was climbing it was surfing does not able to do every day anymore? And so through your soul searching, what is it that makes you feel like you like you're in your flow state that you are totally present?

Kim Hartwell  32:34  
Oh, to be honest, I think like I said, I know is a luxury that I do have got a gym with a crush has given me the space to give myself some self care. And I think that as mums, we're not supposed to grow these babies just by ourselves. Like if you look back in tribal days, I read a really amazing book called hunter gatherer parent. And she was basically exploring how the Western world we all of the psychology and everything behind child behaviour is on on the western world. But actually, look, they're actually probably the worst. And so she went, she had this four year old, she was wearing like, we were all she was like, Oh, how can I try it and she was like, obviously into this world. Anyway, she went to explore all the other cultures around the world. And they were kind of laughing at her been like, gosh, like all these ways that we we parent, I think he's like, the norm over here is very opposite to a lot of things they're doing. And one of those things is being that you have a whole entire tribe around you. So I found myself wracked with guilt being like, oh my goodness, I'm not spending every single second within the you know, if I've asked for help with the crash, or if I've got someone to help look after her, I must be the worst one in the world. But actually, what I'm noticing is my quality of my parenting is not in relation to how much I parent her the quantity of it. And I someone said that to me. And I was like, that makes me feel a lot better because me prioritising my self care has been absolutely game changing. And that's again, working with Dan, my life coach, he was saying to me, he was like, okay, that time when you put her into the crash, Why could you not just go and grab a coffee and you know, pout, and again, I was like, because I didn't want to sit with my emotions and my thoughts, and just slowing down a little bit, still prioritising self care. And if I didn't have the crest that would be in the form of husband can you get there? Can you take this baby whilst I go and do my walk, pass, I go and find my refer my my debt, the water that I need just to make myself feel healed. But like what you said, you can't always you can't always be without the baby and most of my time is spent with me. So you do have to find where you can find that flow. And I think you're very, it's very easy to try and fill your time with a baby in terms of going to classes, meet mums going to coffee, whatever, you know, I spent a lot of time doing that. But I found probably where I'm feeling most at peace and where I'm finding that connection with her as well is just letting her be in nature and like I've just seen that you went to the forest school with a moose is just the cutest thing. Have a and you then have this whole newfound sense of amazement because then the nature that you love so much, and you just know how much they're going to love it. I can't wait for her to, you know, scramble trees and go in the ocean. And so you just find those snippets of it and you have those like, everyday adventures, like I said to you, it's not feasible for me and my husband with his work right now to live by the beach. I want to eventually one day but so my That, to me looks like going to the river pretty much every single day going for a walk like heck fall by the grass. Or, you know, if I know like worth finding a park and just kind of live in the garden, not everyone has access to somewhere with the seaside. So it's like, you just kind of have to find your magic, don't you and what what fuels you

India Pearson  35:46  
absolutely. And you know, today when I was taking money, first of all, there was just a herd sensory mat, and there was always different herbs, because it was you sticks everything in our mouth. And he just loved it. Like, it was like a carrot, really, the big green stalks hanging out that was ever, ever, ever, ever. And it was a carrot, like an actual carrot, you know? And yeah, I'd love to read that book, actually, because it's interesting, you say that we the idea of, you know, in tribes, they use the idea of takes a village to raise child, we went camping in a new forest a few weeks ago. And then we went with a couple of other families or a different age children. And I've never seen a loser happy for a whole day, you know, they get things get cranky at different times of the day, but she was just chill the whole time. And it's because once you have different children around her entertaining her to we were this beautiful setting in the New Forest. And it was an awesome thing to see and stimulate her in that sense. And three, there was all these other parents that my friends that I was able to just pass her over if I needed to do Yeah, and it was just so easy. It's it was very organic. time actually, when I think about it, there was an because there was we were all there helping each other out. And that's I guess what? Yeah, this western isn't hasn't made family live like that. It's it's interesting, and it makes you think maybe these are reasons why we are suffering and finding things hard harder as parents as new parents because kind of going a little bit solo whilst also trying to keep your your career going and everything and

Kim Hartwell  37:28  
it's just no way you can do it all. Yeah, I think that obviously, we have been fortunate enough to have my partner that helps a lot, but that he used to work and you know, these, we're not supposed to do it solo. And I just think it's yeah, we've we've come quite far away from what, what nature intended our life and you have to kind of also think like our ancestors, they have side before, on, you know, their kids. And I think there's hugely healing properties of nature to this. I can't remember the name of the Instagram, but I started following a family recently, and basically horrible to fancy when they had had their newborn and they were on a sidewalk and somehow a car veered off and hit the baby. And it was just obviously horrendously traumatic, the baby was probably the baby was paralysed. And so they actually went and moved out into nature. And he, they realise how healing it was on the baby. And now he's, he's doing amazingly and they were like, hands down, put it down to the fact that he's in nature every day. And like they would take their kids on these, like losing trails and all the rest of it. And people would be like, well, I can't believe we're doing that with your kids. And they were like, You know what, I actually think it's more scary and risky being in a city. And we obviously try and negate the risks as much as we possibly can. But this is how we were born to be and I think the more we can get back to our tribal instincts, our primal ways. It has to be the right way. It has to because nature, you know, that's how we were born to be. And we're just going so far away from it. I found myself like, Indy will be chewing on these plastic things left, right and centre. But as soon as she goes in the garden, I'm older into the grass, and I'm like,

India Pearson  39:09  
like, surely? Surely it is. 100% I totally, totally agree with you. Okay, I mean, I keep talking to you. All I've got I got loads of other questions. I think we're running out of time. So I'm gonna ask my last question, which is the question I asked everybody is the big important one. And they're looking back and there it was you've made in your life, Kim, what are the biggest lessons that you've learned? Keeping your mind and body healthy?

Kim Hartwell  39:36  
Oh, gosh, yes. I thought this and when I saw this was such a good one. And I'm so good. Hard to answer very succinctly, but I'll try. I think one of the one I've learned most recently, probably the hardest way is just being present and listening to your body and listening to your mind and what's going on and being able to feel those emotions and not run away from them because you have you can't hear Your if you're just running away from them, and that takes all sorts of different shapes in the body, different traumas in the body, if you're just constantly running on empty, stressed out, and I think that, you know, the bet, one of the best things you can do is rest. It's not always more, it's more and I think along with that is that kind of being okay with imperfection, knowing that this is a journey. And it's not, you know, it's not going to endpoint Actually, many of the times, when you look back at some of the hardest times in your life, I found New York very, very challenging when I moved there first, and I look back and I go, wow, that was what really, really shaped me. And like, that's what taught me all these lessons that showed me where I wanted to go in my career and my life, and I wouldn't have been able to get there without that process. But obviously, it just feels so so challenging at the time. And I believe strongly that that's what's happening now with me having India as well as she's, they say, our kids are our greatest teachers, but she She's teaching me so much about myself. And you know, you can't really hide from it when you have a baby. So yeah, I would say my, my biggest things are rest, be okay with imperfection, find joy in the journey. And also like this idea of just like doing what you love, rather than what you think you should be doing, or what you think others will think will look good, or whatever. I think, you know, find those things that you love doing. I always people always ask me like, how do you stay so motivated to train, I'm just like, don't do the things that you don't enjoy. But I really don't like Pilates. I don't really like spinning because I just don't do them. There's so many other things to do. Life is too short to do things that make you miserable. So if that is going on hikes going out in nature off a cliff, swimming, I'd say yeah, I just think you can't go wrong when you're doing those sorts of things. Yeah,

India Pearson  41:40  
absolutely amazing. And if anyone wanted to follow your journey, and kind of see where where your journey goes next, how

Kim Hartwell  41:48  
can I do this? Thank you. Yes, you can find out. Probably most of the stuff I'm up to is on Instagram, we're actually going on a big trip this summer. So I'm interested how that is going to work out with a little 10 fold. Folding in in toes I will be covering documented quite a lot of gap that you can also find me on YouTube, we've got a lot of yoga flows and movement flows. They're just using Kim Hart when you search on YouTube, and I will be keeping everything updated on Kim hotmail.com

India Pearson  42:15  
as well. Amazing. Well, thank you so much for Thank you for having to speak to me. I'm so grateful that we managed to make this happen. And yeah, I think it's been a really incredible episode for a lot of people to listen to. So

Kim Hartwell  42:29  
thanks so much for having me. It's so wonderful to set for you and beautiful little Mundo

India Pearson  42:38  
thank you so much for listening to this episode for start a report podcast. If you like what you heard, then please do write a review. It helps other like minded souls find this podcast too. If you want to get in touch and the best way to speak to me is probably via Instagram. And my handle is at with underscore India. All right, take care and speak to you soon.