Raising Elite Competitors

3 Ways to Get Your Daughter to Work on Her Mindset without Nagging Her

• Coach Bre • Season 2 • Episode 233

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Is your daughter’s mindset getting in the way of her athletic dreams? Learn how to introduce mental training without the eye-rolls and resistance!

In this episode of Raising Elite Competitors, I’m sharing practical strategies to help your athlete daughter embrace mental training - without you coming across as pushy or critical.

Here’s what we’re covering:

  • Why most coaches overlook crucial mental skills (and how you can bridge this gap)
  • The real difference between good athletes and great ones (it’s not what you think!)
  • 3 effective ways to get your daughter interested in mindset training
  • A quick, fun quiz that will pique your daughter’s curiosity about mental training
  • Success stories from athletes who were skeptical at first but now swear by mental training

Don’t miss these game-changing tips! Listen to the full episode now and help your daughter gain a competitive edge in her sport. Your future college athlete will thank you!

Grab our Conversation Guide 

What’s Your Competitor Style Quiz

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00:00] Introduction to the topic of helping daughters work on their mindset without nagging.

[00:00:36] Explanation of the podcast’s purpose: helping sports moms raise confident, mentally strong girl athletes.

[00:00:55] Discussion on the importance of mental training for athletes to deal with common challenges like nerves and pressure.

[00:01:46] Sharing of a success story: testimonial from Sheridan, an athlete who found success with the Elite Mental Game program.

[00:03:00] Strategy 1: Showing that mental training is what the best athletes do, using examples of professional and college athletes.

[00:06:13] Strategy 2: Connecting mental training to the athlete’s personal goals and aspirations in their sport.

[00:08:30] Strategy 3: Starting small with quick wins, introducing the “What’s Your Competitor Style” quiz as an engaging entry point.

[00:11:34] Information about the Elite Mental Game program, including a discount for podcast listeners and how the program helps with athlete buy-in.

[00:12:35] Recap of the three strategies discussed: showing that the best athletes use mental training, connecting it to her goals, and starting small with quick wins.

Next Steps:

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Speaker 0:

Ever feel like when you try to bring up mental training, your daughter tunes you out Like she knows you're about to suggest something and then automatically shuts you down. Or maybe you want to bring up this whole idea of training the mental side of the game because you know that it will help her really hone in on her physical game, but you don't wanna bring it up in a way that makes it seem like something is wrong with her. If that is you, this episode is for you. By the way, I'm Coach Brie. Welcome back to the Raising Elite Competitors podcast. I'm so excited that you're here.

Speaker 0:

Whether you are a sports mom just getting going on your sports journey or you have a lot of seasons under your belt, this podcast is for you to help you know how to raise a confident, mentally strong girl athlete. Now, introducing mental training is a question I get asked a lot from moms in our community, because that is our bread and butter. That's what we do here at the Elite Competitor. Our signature mental training program, the Elite Mental Game, helps athletes develop the mental side of their sport so that they have more confidence. They have the mental tools to face the normal parts of being an athlete, like how to deal with nerves, comparison, pressure, mistakes all of the things that are very normal. But most athletes actually don't have the skills to navigate those things because most coaches actually don't teach them. So we're going to be breaking down today how you can bring this up to your daughter in a way that seems non-threatening, that really helps her understand what mental training is and maybe even opens the door for her to try some of this out, because we have a lot of tools and a lot of resources that are really accessible for athletes and make a huge difference in their sport.

Speaker 0:

Before I do, I want to give a shout out to an athlete in our community. She is an athlete who is going through the elite mental game. Her name is Sheridan. She said recently it's going so well. So, referring to how she's doing inside EMG, she said it's going well. I used my mental reset this morning in practice and it helped a lot. I felt so much calmer.

Speaker 0:

She also said, to be honest, when my mom roped me into this I didn't think it would work, but I'm already seeing it help in the day-to-day life as well. So thank you so much, and I love the honesty here because she is acknowledging what some athletes, when they intern to the program, they're like I don't know about this. This is a little different, mom. What are you, what are you having me do? Some athletes are super open from the beginning and they kind of understand how important the mental side of the game is, and we'll talk about how you can help your daughter be one of those athletes. But some of them are a little skeptical, and so I love that. Sheridan was like I'm not really sure if this is going to be for me, and so we intentionally front load the easiest and most impactful skills at the beginning of the program. So what Sheridan was referring to was her step back routine. So this is a really easy routine that athletes develop within their first week of the program, a tool that helps them come back from mistakes very quickly. So Sheridan is talking about her mental reset and how that's helping her in her sport and in her life. So she is quickly, as soon as she's in the program, she's quickly realizing how it's helping her. So congratulations, sheridan, and also to your mom, because you know it sounds like she made a right decision and it's helping you out. All right, let's get into it how you can help your athlete understand what mental training is. Help her maybe dip her toe in a little bit, without seeming like you're nagging or that you're pushing her.

Speaker 0:

The number one strategy, or the first strategy that I have, is to show her that this is what the best athletes do, and why this works is that teens are a lot more likely to listen to someone else than sorry, especially athletes that they admire. So we do hear from athletes that are like the way that you said, it just resonated with me. Or we hear from moms that are like I've been trying to tell her this the whole time and then she hears it from this athlete, she hears it from you, coach Bree, and now all of a sudden, it's the best idea ever. So we're going to leverage that. Why not show her that this really is what separates athletes? And one quick way you can do that is to show her like how professional athletes and how college athletes are utilizing this. So if she has an athlete that she admires or she looks up, to leverage that.

Speaker 0:

So, of course, we all you know we're familiar with Simone Biles and this last summer at the Olympics, there's a lot of examples that you can draw on from her and kind of the mental strength that she had and how she actually hired a sports psychologist to help her in the off season. So there's like big names like that Serena Williams, steph Curry Like there's lots of examples. If you just honestly Google those names or Google somebody that she looks up to, likely you're going to come across some sort of video or TikTok or YouTube thing where they're talking about their mental prep. Either they're talking about how they're handling pressures, they're maybe even specifically talking about visualizations. You can find a lot just using the examples that are out there around people that she admires. Now, if she doesn't have that, I guess that she probably does have somebody that she looks up to, somebody in her sport that is, you know, achieving at a high level and also talking about the mindset.

Speaker 0:

But we also have resources that she can listen to on the podcast, and I'm actually going to link a really useful guide in the show notes. It's called our conversation guide, so in it there's conversation starters that you can use to help bring this idea up. There's also podcast episodes that we've recommended for her to listen to, and a lot of these episodes are just me interviewing alumni from the elite mental game and in those they're talking about what they were not only struggling with. I use the word struggling, you know, not in a way that will make it sound like all athletes are struggling when they come into the program because they're not. Honestly, a lot of athletes come in because they want a competitive advantage, they want an edge, and so you'll hear from these athletes. You should listen to these athletes who are like, yeah, after learning these skills, I was able to deal with pressure more. You know, I interviewed my three-time state champion captains recently on the podcast and asked them how mental training had impacted how they showed up at state, how they showed up in those championship matches.

Speaker 0:

And just that is a really good example of people who are her age, her peers, who are doing these things, who are using these skills. So it's not seeming like it's you telling her like, hey, you need this because you're not confident. She's hearing from other athletes who are saying I'm using this and this is my secret sauce. So if you want some of those episodes, I will put the conversation guide in the show notes and you can find those. There's a lot. I think I have like three or four that you can just listen to, put on the car, put on and leave the room. Okay, all right, that's strategy number one. Give her examples of other athletes who are doing it.

Speaker 0:

Strategy number two connected to her goals. Now, teens and tweens are motivated when they see a direct benefit to what they want, not what they think you want. Yes, you know you want more confidence for your athlete. You want her to be able to handle mistakes and not melt down and spiral and all of that. But it's going to come a lot easier if it's connected to something that she has wanted. So maybe she has told you some of the goals that she has in her sport and those could be goals like she wants to play at the next level. It could be goals of she wants to make varsity or be a captain, or even things like I want to have more fun, I want to feel like I can go out and play free, I want to be a good teammate, like those are also really great goals and desires for her and her sport.

Speaker 0:

And then you can add in your mindset is actually the thing that can elevate you, separate you, get you closer to those goals faster, because there's only enough physical training that you can do. And honestly, if she's talking about the goals of playing on beyond the level that she is at right now. At some point all that talent and all the physical training is going to be pretty equal. We run into that when we get to state because all teams are good, they're all talented, they're all putting in the work, what is going to separate you? And not all athletes are training their mindset, and we talk about how this is actually a secret weapon.

Speaker 0:

And so when your athlete does tell you what her goals are and she's telling you things that she wants to accomplish and she wants to do, you can add in curiosity inducing questions, things like what do you think makes the difference when it comes to achieving that goal? Or how are you going to put a plan in place in order to get that? What are you going to do? You know, just asking her, kind of reflecting back to her. What do you think is necessary? What do you think that you need to be doing that you're not doing now to help you with that? And that's also where you can add in things around the elite mental game. If that's what you're looking into to help her with this, you can talk about how the best athletes don't just train their physical body, but they also train their response to mistakes and pressure. All of those things are really good segues into how you can help her take more ownership over this part of her game.

Speaker 0:

Okay, that is strategy two. So number one was show her that it's what the best athletes do. Number two connect all of this to her goals that she has already talked to you about. Number three start small with quick wins. So if she feels like it's a lot of work, she's not going to do it and, honestly, that's why we've designed the Elite Mental Game to be very quick. Our videos inside EMG are between three. 15 minutes is like the max.

Speaker 0:

I also was a former high school teacher. I have a master's in education, so I don't do lectures, I don't do boring, so all of it is very engaging and applicable to athletes. So we do that by design and it's on a really cool platform that's really easy to access. But even understanding all that, if she's not going to see results quickly, then she's going to bounce. So we actually have a really simple way for your athlete to get bought in in a very fun way through a quiz that we have developed, and I will also link that quiz inside the combo guide, so you'll have that link below. If you just click on that combo guide, the quiz is like the first thing.

Speaker 0:

So we've developed a quiz called what's your competitor style, and this is really fun. So athletes can take it because they learn a little bit about themselves. We have developed three styles that they can as results that they can get. So there is the comeback player, there's the pressure player and then there's the self-motivated grinder. So they answer seven questions not very much, they're very fast and after each question I do a little bit of breadcrumbing into why mental training is important. So they answer and then they get like a 30 second 15 second video. That's from me affirming their choice but then also, like I said, breadcrumbing how mental training is tied to this part of their game. It's a really great way for them to understand what mental training is. In a way that's fun because they're learning about themselves.

Speaker 0:

And then at the very end, if you are interested inside in the elite mental game, I do talk about EMG as well as a next step. So if you're like I want her to know what mental training is. I don't want to come across as pushy or like making her seem like something's wrong with her. And then, additionally, I actually do want her to get curious about EMG, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to talk about it. This quiz is a really great way because it includes all of those things, and so the link for the quiz, like I said, is inside that combo guide and I will add that into the show notes.

Speaker 0:

It's also just a great thing, like I said, for her to get a quick win, to learn about herself a little bit and to realize, like, maybe where there might be some gaps in her training that can actually help her. So that is a great, a great way. And then you can also ask her, like, I'm curious, what your competitor style is. Do you agree with this? Where do you think that this describes you? Do you think it doesn't? You know, it's just a really good segue to also talk to her about this part of the game and so to have her take the quiz, you could text it to her. You can say, hey, if I came across this quiz all around figuring out what your competitor style is, I'm going to send it over to you and I'm curious what your result is and what you find interesting about this. So also really good way, we put a little blurbs inside that conversation guided as well, to give you some talking points on how to talk about the quiz and about mental training in general. So those are three quick strategies. This doesn't have to be a battle.

Speaker 0:

The other thing that I'll mention is if you are considering the elite mental game, we do have a discount for podcast listeners. Okay, because you're listening to this episode, we have a special link for you to use if you want to get a discount on the elite mental game. So that is in the show notes as well. It's elitecompetitorcom forward slash EMG. And if you are interested in that, we actually take care of a lot of buy-in just inside the program. So moms join, they're like, ok, I'm in, and part of the program is also for parents themselves. So you learn a lot around how to support your athlete, and then we take care of the buy-in once your athlete is inside the program as well, because, like I said, it tends to come a little bit better coming from us than you at times. So I hope you're not taking any offense to that. You've probably experienced that already as you're trying to navigate this with your daughter, so just know that about the program in general.

Speaker 0:

And the other thing is that conversation guide, like I said, has some sentence starters for you to use. So if you're, like I, still am having a hard time connecting this to her goals or bringing up how other athletes are doing this, we give you just sentence starters that you can copy and paste into your brain so that you can just say them with confidence, and you can also tweak them depending on your relationship with your daughter and what you think might work for her. All right, I hope that was helpful. As a recap, your three strategies are show her that the best athletes are doing this, connect it to their goals and also start small with those quick wins. One of the smallest ways you can start is through our what's your Competitor Style quiz. All right, moms, I'm Coach Brie, a mental performance coach for girl athletes. I will see you in the next episode of the Raising Elite Competitors podcast.

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Coach Bre Smedley

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