5 Tips To Becoming A Better Husband

How do you find the balance between being assertive and being a loving husband without being labeled a jerk or a doormat? Join Coach Jared on this episode of Marriage Helper as he offers practical tips and heartfelt advice on becoming the husband your spouse has always dreamed of. Jared dives deep into the art of active listening, showing appreciation, and the importance of spending quantity time with your wife. Learn why those seemingly mundane moments are vital for building emotional intimacy and strengthening your relationship. 

But that's not all. Jared introduces the transformative concept of "pies" – focusing on Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual growth – to help you become not just a better husband, but a better you. From hitting the gym and meditating to picking up new hobbies and engaging in activities with a glad heart, discover how these small yet impactful changes can enhance your personal growth and make you more attractive. Don’t miss this episode brimming with actionable advice and resources designed to help you thrive in your marriage. Tune in and take the first step toward becoming the best version of yourself!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:11

Every husband wants to be a better husband, but what does that look like, especially today? Are you supposed to be more assertive, but then you become a jerk? Are you supposed to be more sensitive, but then people think of you as a doormat? Maybe the standard's actually impossible and there is no such thing as a good husband? Well, hey, we're Marriage Helper, and if you're watching this video, you're here because you want to be the best version of yourself possible. Hey, I'm Coach Jared from Marriage Helper. I am the membership fulfillment manager and I'm going to talk to you about how to be a better husband. I'm a pretty good husband myself, but it was not always so. Here's some of the lessons I've learned.

Speaker 1: 1:52

If you want to become a better husband, be present with your wife. The skill is called active listening, and it doesn't just mean to look in their general direction and nod your head up and down as they talk. It means you're going to actually try to understand where your wife is coming from. Put your phone down, turn your head toward her yes, do all that stuff, but ask intelligent questions. Try to really get inside of her mind. If she's fearful of something, don't tell her that she's wrong to feel that way. Ask why she feels that way, actually listen, try to get into her head.

Speaker 1: 2:30

Another thing we husbands can do is simply to show appreciation, even little acts. You know, buying flowers, like it used to be a thing. Not every lady likes flowers. Find out what your lady likes and actually do things that show her gratitude, appreciation. I see you, I appreciate you, I like what you do for me, I need what you do for me. Make sure you're communicating that on a regular basis. Make time for your wife. We know from research that it's not really the quality time that is important, it's the quantity time that is vital. All those hours that you spend on the couch together watching TV or doing a board game or talking on the phone or going for a walk. It may not seem like that is anything other than like mundane Monday night stuff, but it's vitally important for your relationship. During those windows of time when you are present, that's when the emotional sharing can happen, that's when emotional intimacy can increase and that in turn creates the feeling that you're present, active, that you're being the husband that she has really longed for.

Speaker 1: 3:46

And possibly the most important thing you can do is continue to grow your own pies. Now what are pies? Physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. These are the four areas of attraction that Dr Beam discovered. Work any of those and you become more attractive. You should never stop trying to be a better version of you. You don't have to conform yourself to what everybody else thinks you should be. The person that you are is actually really good.

Speaker 1: 4:20

So if you want to grow your pies physically, you could go work out. That's an easy one. You could also diet, but you could also sleep more. You could turn your phone off earlier, things like that. If you want to enhance your spirit, you could go to church. You could pray, but you could also meditate. You could do some yoga in the park in the morning. You could even try to understand why you believe the things that you believe.

Speaker 1: 4:48

If you want to enhance your mind, the intellect, read a book, pick up a hobby, learn to paint Anything that you can do that is going to increase your, you know. Do things that are challenging, try to get your mind active. Maybe play Sudoku, whatever it's going to be. That stretches you, that's going to help your mind, and then, emotionally, do it with a glad attitude. Make sure you do things with a good heart, don't go in with a sour face and try to just slog through all this time you have to spend with your wife.

Speaker 1: 5:27

That's not emotionally attractive. Actually become excited. Do things that you really actually do feel good about, whether that's hiking or kayaking or going for a bike ride or taking a walk or whatever. Actually recharge your emotional batteries so that you actually have something that you can contribute to your relationship. You want to be more of who you actually are, and you do that through working on your pies. If you want to know more about this topic, we have so many resources for you. You don't even know so many resources. Click here and we can get you to the right stuff.