The SHOCKING Truth About Perfect Marriages

Can a perfect marriage ever truly exist, or is it just a figment of our media-influenced imagination? Coach Jared from Marriage Helper is here to challenge our conventional beliefs and offers a fresh, more attainable perspective on what makes a marriage truly fulfilling. In this episode, we dissect how media shapes our unrealistic expectations and why striving for perfection might be hindering your relationship's potential. By embracing the inherent imperfections in each other, we cultivate an environment ripe for deeper love, patience, and understanding. 

Join Coach Jared as he draws from personal experiences and practical advice to help you navigate the complexities of marital expectations. Learn how to communicate effectively and support each other's growth without falling into the trap of idealized perfection. Discover how to transform your relationship into a meaningful journey where imperfections are celebrated as opportunities for growth, making your marriage not just good, but exceptionally real and fulfilling. Tune in to uncover the tools and insights you need to create the best version of your marriage.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:11

Everybody dreams of having a perfect marriage, but is that even possible? What would a marriage be like if it was actually perfect? Hey, my name is Coach Jared and I'm here again with Marriage Helper. If you're listening to this video, it's because you're trying to get that perfect marriage. But is that a realistic idea? Maybe there's something even better that we can aim for First off perfection. According to who?

Speaker 1: 1:39

Do we really understand how much media has influenced us? I mean, you read romance novels and you watch television shows and in those scenarios there's always like some perfect thing happening, there's some perfect outcome. They lived happily ever after and nothing ever went wrong again forever. That's just not really life, though. It's a great fantasy, but it's not actually life. Would you rather have a fantasy than have something that's real? I would not. How can we make real stuff good? Well, that's what we're going to discuss today.

Speaker 1: 2:18

A college professor of mine once told me do not let the knowledge of that which is perfect prevent you from enjoying that which is merely good. Do not let the knowledge of that which is perfect prevent you from enjoying that which is merely good. It's such a great quote because there's goodness in people, even if they're not perfect. Imagine a world where everybody was perfect. There would be no reason for bravery, or forgiveness, or patience or anything like that. All of those attributes would become totally invisible. The fact that we live in a world that's not quite perfect actually allows us to love each other more deeply, and so perfection isn't really a great goal to achieve. What we want to achieve is goodness. So then, how do you make something good? Well, communicate your expectations, but be willing to be challenged on those expectations.

Speaker 1: 3:15

If somebody says I want to be treated like a princess, okay, hey, I'm willing to listen. But what does that mean? Are you asking me to do everything for you forever and serve you like a servant, but you never contribute anything to me? That's not really a perfect relationship. Your idea of perfection, my idea for perfection, are going to totally disagree in that scenario. Therefore, we have to come to a consensus where we both communicate. I don't need to be served every day, but I want to be appreciated and loved. I want to be seen. I want somebody who's going to appreciate me for who I am. I want somebody who's going to appreciate me for who I am, and I want to do the same thing for you, even if you're not perfect, I still want to care about you. When two people are willing to do that for each other, that really is a perfect marriage. It's as close as we can get in this world.

Speaker 1: 4:10

Anyway, remember, when things are not quite perfect, that actually is a fantastic opportunity for us to grow. It's so much better when you can see the potential in somebody and then watch them realize that potential, especially if it takes a lifetime to get there. My wife has always known about me that I would be the husband that she has now. She's always seen that in me. It's one of the reasons that she married me to begin with and I have always seen in her the person that she is now. And I see even more than that and watching ourselves go through that journey.

Speaker 1: 4:49

There were ups and downs. There were times when our marriage was actually really, really terrible and we didn't understand how to communicate that stuff. However, today, the marriage that we have, it's so good because it's real, and so I think it's good to give up this myth of total perfection and just enjoy what is and enjoy the journey and enjoy the opportunity to grow. So we could say this success in marriage is really not about making things perfect. It's about loving imperfect people in a way that empowers them to be themselves, and that is what's really perfect. You really can have an amazing, fulfilling marriage. It really is possible. Here at MarriageHobo, we have all the tools you'll ever need to get there. If you want to know more, you can click on these links on the side, and we hope to see you next time.