Thought You Saw the Last of Me?

“Thought You Saw the Last of Me?” Ep. 183

Surprises aplenty pepper this episode. Backs up against the proverbial wall, canine-humanoids Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, “Flea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge, AKA “Sooperflea,” and Gneeecey’s evil lookalike from Planet HyenaZitania, Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay have been forced by circumstances to choose a course of action in order to escape Opposite Earth leader Urgl’s evil clutches. Will it cost them their lives? If they make it through unscathed, where will they find themselves? Back on Nicki Rodriguez’s planet Earth where they’d just run from the cops? Or back in their own otherworldly dimension of Perswayssick County? Or Ebegneeezer’s unpleasant Planet HyenaZitania? Or somewhere worse? …. And if the four are to survive another dimension jump so close to their last recent trip, they’re all but guaranteed to suffer severe, possibly debilitating dimension burn….

Meanwhile, back on her home planet Earth, exhausted human Nicki Rodriguez, who’s merged with her visiting double, seems to be existing in an alternate timeline. An explosion causes her to lose control of her red ’64-and-a-half Mustang as she speeds down the parkway, headed for a weekend at the Jersey shore. And it’s just the beginning when she finds herself in a surreal,  unfamiliar locale where further trauma and bizarre happenings await.

Episode Artwork created by ChatBox AI

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amount—various levels available—to help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! We’ll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)  

https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)

https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!)   

And many thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/

Transcript

Transcript / Thought You Saw the Last of Me? – Episode 183, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Music Eerie Drama]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: In our last episode, “Explosions Galore,” canine-humanoids Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, his Planet HyenaZitania lookalike, Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay, and Fleaglossitty “Flea” Floppinsplodge, otherwise known as “Sooperflea,” plus Gneeecey’s pet mallard Space Duck, had to make a decision. A hasty one. They could risk remaining on surreal Opposite Earth where orange leader Urgl had threatened them with deadly force, or they could choose to utter those four magical words… those three numbers and a color, the mere utterance of which could result in their annihilation… common words that when combined in a certain order could land them back on Nicki’s Earth—which they’d just escaped—or their own otherworldly dimension of Perswayssick County… or Ebegneeezer’s Planet HyenaZitania… or worse…. And if the four were to survive another dimension jump so close to their latest trip, they were all but guaranteed to suffer severe, possibly debilitating dimension burn….

Flea, Ebegneeezer, Gneeecey, and his pet mallard Space Duck, who really didn’t have much of a say in the matter, decided it was best to propel themselves into the unknown….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Space Exploration] [Crows]

EBEGNEEEZER GESUNDHEIT EEECEYGNAY: Bloody hell— 

“FLEA” FLEAGLOSSITTY” FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”: Urgl’s comin’ back! We gotta hold onto each other an’ say them four little words! Now!

F: C’mon, guys! On the count of three! One…two…three!
 DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY, F, & E [in unison]: Three, forty, two, blue!

SFX: [Explosion] [Spooky Hollow Fear] [Magic Glitter] [Footsteps Gravel] [Space, Mystery Tune] [BodyFallHuman] [Cartoon Slip] [Slip & Fall] [Duck Horn]

G: Ow! My lousy bimbus!

SPACE DUCK: Quack! Quack!

E: Where the bloody hell are we? This misadventure is totally your fault, old chap.

G: At least we ain’t stinkin’ unalive.

F: Looks like we’re back in our Perswayssick County, Zig! In fact, it looks like your Area Fifty-an’-four-fourths, where our spaceship originally took off.

G: My spaceship! My beaudiful lousy Starship Waterloo that disappeared on stinkin’ Opposite Earth! An’ now I’ll never ever see it, ever stinkin’ again, after all that lousy work I put in, restoring it!

E: Belt up, why don’cha? I don’t know about you blokes, but I can hardly move me legs!

F: Me either, Mister Eeeceygnay. 

G: My legs ain’t workin’ propooperly either. I warned youse two that if doin’ this last dimension jump didn’t get us seriously killed, we’d end up real sick, wit’ severe dimension burn.

F: Well, Zig, at least we’re still alive. An’ we really lucked out.

G: How’s thaaat?

F: Well, we were fortunate enough to land, in all places in this, an’ all other universes, in our own Perswayssick County. We can be sick at home!

G: Yeah…. We can have fun bein’ sick at home, here in Perswayssick County! Hey, the Ig—

F: Ya mean Nicki—

G: Yeah. The Ig ain’t wit’ us no more. She merged wit’ that yucky double of hers back on her planet. An’ then she called the cops on us! She ain’t here no more, so that means she ain’t Grate Gizzygalumpaggis of this county no more! I am!

F: How’s that, Zig?

G: As soon as we get settled, Fleaglossitty, I’m gonna have Altitude drive me over to our Knapsackville County Courthouse. I’ll walk through that door an’ table a motion to the floor to call it a wall an’ declarizate myself as Grate Gizzygalumpaggis of this here Perswayssick County, utilizatin’ all of my title’s vowels an’ consonants!

F: Can ya do that, Zig?

G: Why, of course, Fleaglossitty. Accordin’ to our constitutional amendment BS.349Zx5, I, as Perswayssick County Quality of Life Commissioner an’ former Grate Gizzy—an’ I am conservatin’ vowels an’ consonants here as I speak—I can an’ will do that. Can’t wait to see the look on that Bassett Hound-Humanoid Jacob J. Qwertyuiop’s furry face when I stinkin’ do this. When we were all missin’, he proboobably thought he’d be in charge forever.

E: Well, in addition to the obvious, that we have not perished, I’m eternally grateful that we’ve left that obnoxious Nurse Maudlyn somewhere out in cold, dark space. Let her torture the aliens, just by her sheer existence.

F: I’ll drink to that, Mister Eeeceygnay!

G: Me too, Ebegoogoo!

F: Lemme check an’ see if my phone is workin’ again, now that we’re back home. We’re gonna need a ride. We can hardly walk.

G: Yeah. Call Altitude over at my Gneeezle’s Restaurant an’ see if he can bring us some food an’ drive us to the courthouse, an’ also— SFX: [Cell Phone Ring]

F: Oh, looky! My phone’s workin’ again—it’s ringin’!

G: Well, ain’cha gonna answer it?

SFX: [Cell Phone Ring] [Magic Spell] [Music Eerie Drama] 

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Meanwhile, back on Earth, in “Regular New Jersey,” Nicki, having merged with her visiting double, seems to be existing in an alternate timeline. She’s on the parkway, heading for the Jersey shore and a weekend at a beach house, one she hadn’t seen in five years, thanks to her workaholic ways. She’s exhausted, working seventy-hour weeks at two different New York radio stations, plus doing freelance production on the side. She’s not happy with her life. 

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Car Engine] [Car Horn Honks] 

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: Sighing, I hit the gas harder. As miles of hot, black pavement flew under my tires, and parkway exit numbers grew smaller, I swore I could smell the sea. 

Traffic was light. Glancing at my watch, I declared, “three forty-two, skies are blue!”

That split second, something—it sounded like a bomb—SFX: [Explosion] [Spooky Hollow Fear]—detonated overhead, slamming my ’64-and-a-half Mustang—my late dad’s last gift to me—into a wild spin.

SFX: [Spooky Hollow Fear] 

Deafened by the blast, blinded by a fluorescent flash, I dug my fingernails into the cushioned steering wheel cover and struggled to regain control of my bucking red bronco. A nightmarish squeal sliced through the sulfur-laced air when I finally managed, bearing down with all the force of my one-hundred-ten-pound frame, to floor the brakes with both feet.

SFX: [Screeching Brakes] [Misgivings & Misfortune]

Eyelids squeezed shut, I braced myself and waited.

It was over. The maniacal maelstrom had run its course, leaving behind a vacuum of silence, save for the stray buzzing between my ears. My body crumpled down into the bucket seat. Dazed and drenched, tears crisscrossing my face, I sat motionless as my heart hammered my ribs like a machine gun and forced gallons of blood through my veins. I thought I was gonna blow up.

Only when my head stopped spinning did I dare open my eyes.

Things looked pretty routine. No signs of mass destruction, no evidence of calamity—no raging fires, blackened terrain, or scorched craters. Not even a fallen tree. Traffic, although sparse, flowed in an orderly fashion. When my legs stopped shaking, I got out and checked the car. 

SFX: [Metal Click 4] [Metal Door Open] 

Odd. Not a scratch. 

SFX: [Metal Click 4]

Feeling like a little kid, alone and scared, I drove off the dirt shoulder and headed for South Seaside Park.

SFX: [Car Engine]

A couple boring miles later, an enormous green sign appeared. Hung from a nondescript overpass, it proclaimed in bold white letters that I was enjoying my trip on the recently resurfaced Perswayssick Thruway.

“Perswayssick Thruway?! I shouted, squinting. As I freaked, the six-lane highway dissolved unceremoniously into an unpaved ramp leading onto the Perswayssick River Bridge, a structure that didn’t simply cross the zigzagging river—dull and narrow, it spanned its entire length.

My new wristwatch twinkled on the seat beside me, its sterling band snapped. The cracked face read three forty-two. Hadn’t even paid for the thing yet—I’d charged it. Scowling, I jammed the timepiece in my pocket and peered down at the murky river, surprised by scores of luminous, cobalt-blue ovals splashing about. 

As I gazed, amazed, a muddy mist rose, obliterating the blobs—and everything else. In seconds, the dank vapors—accompanied by an unfamiliar, gut-wrenching stench—painted my windshield green.

Ticker thumping up in my ears, I steered toward what I hoped was the road’s edge and eased to a stop. Before I could close my windows, Carlos’s CD ejected itself SFX: [Slip] GlassDebris] disintegrating as it whizzed past my nose, and words shot out from all four speakers like snipers’ bullets.

“We’ll be comin’ right back at’cha wit’ ‘The Line to Your Heart’s Always Busy,’” shrilled a dentist’s drill of a voice. “It’s been number one for six months! Okay, peeps, it’s five p.m.! your dial’s mutated to 1780 am, WGAS, part of the Gas Broadcast Network!”

I gasped.

“Our live mierk cams show we’re havin’ a inversion! Yee haw! I love inversions! Out there on the bridge, your visibility’s a big fat zilch—an’ so’s your mother’s!”

My jaw dropped.

“Let’s hope,” continued the screechy piece of chalk, “this inversion sticks ’round for our annual mierk Fest next weekend!”

Annual what?

“Y’know, I love this planet—even though I miss mine.”

Acid rose into my throat, burning my tonsils.

“The river’s overflowin’ an’ the goonafish are jumpin’! Whatta soooper Snatturday!”

At least it was still Saturday. Maybe….

SFX: [Spooky Hollow Fear] [Magic Spell] [Space, Mystery Tune] [Cell Phone Ring]

G, Well, Fleaglossitty, I said, ain’cha gonna answer your lousy phone?

F: I don’t recognize who’s callin’…. That’s a weird number…. Looks like it’s from somewhere in outer space. 

G: Could be the Ig.

F: Well, lemme pick it up. Hello… hello?

URGL: SFX: [Moster Reverb Laugh]

F: Oh no—him!

G: Sounds like that lousy Urgl! I thought we left him, back on dopey Opposite Earth!

URGL: SFX: [Moster Reverb Laugh] I will return with that purple dump truck to drop on you! And as prophesized by the iron pig, the wristwatch will fall over and you will no longer beeeee! The peach-flavored sewing machine will hammer a brick ice cream cone when it feels like listening to the radio’s rubber escalator. Goodbye…for now…. SFX: [Moster Reverb Laugh] 

E: That bloody orange bloke is out for retribution.

F: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe—what’s thaaat up there comin’ down too close to us?

SFX: [A Car Crash] [Explosion] [Tin Cans] [Airplane Alarm] [Bang]

G: It’s my beaudiful lousy spaceship—my Starship Waterloo—

E: It was your spaceship….

F: It’s in pieces now! A veritable pile of metallic rubbish!

SFX: [Cartoon Annoyed Character Crying] [Metal Door Open] 

NURSE MAUDLYN: Thought you saw the last of me? Surprise, surprise! Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha!

G: It’s stinkin’ Nurse Maudlyn!

E: Bloody hell…. 

SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell]

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###