Infinite Awakening

Overcoming Control to Manifest Your Deepest Wishes

• Dr. Donna

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What if the very act of trying to control every detail of your life is actually blocking your true desires? Discover the powerful insights I've gleaned from 23 years of coaching and psychic readings on how letting go of rigid expectations can unlock the path to your deepest wishes. Learn how past traumas and the need for safety drive our compulsion to control, and why loosening that grip is essential for manifesting a life brimming with unforeseen blessings.

In this episode, we embrace life's beautiful unpredictability and explore how genuine growth emerges from understanding and overcoming the triggers behind our need for control. Reflect on your past experiences with us and find out how balancing expectations with an openness to unexpected outcomes signals to the universe that you're ready for whatever comes your way. Tune in to break free from control's constraints and align yourself with a life full of wonderful surprises.

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Dr. Donna:

Over the years and I mean over the past 23 years that I've been coaching and doing psychic readings I noticed one particular thing that got in the way of people manifesting what they want. Now, I know we've all heard a lot about how to manifest. We've all heard a lot about how to manifest. There are many blocks that people have that could prevent them from manifesting. For example, if you have childhood trauma or any trauma, it would be hard to manifest. If you don't believe that you're worthy or deserving, it would be hard to manifest. There are many reasons why a person cannot manifest their desired life, and when I say desired life, they want either to find their partner to be in a relationship with or to marry, or to have the ideal job or any other desire that a person may have. There is one block that really gets in the way, and this particular block is really should be unnecessary, but it seems like people are more interested in being right than anything. Sadly, a lot of people think they need to be right in order to be happy. When it's do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Now, this particular block that I see in people is that they want what they want, but they want it to show up in only one particular way and if it shows up any different, then they don't want it. They believe that it is wrong for them. Now I will tell you why that is a big problem, and that issue can go back to some type of trauma or a bad experience. Of course, but when I see people say I really want a partner, but you know he's got to be six, two or taller, I don't want them. Or he's got to make X amount of money and I don't want them, it lets me know that there is some need to feel safe, and the need to feel safe is overriding the manifestation. Now, yes, everybody wants to feel safe, but if you're manifesting from a place of it doesn't show up the way I want, then I don't think it's right for me. Then you're actually blocking what you want. You know, sometimes our partner is shorter, sometimes they make less money, sometimes they have a job that we wouldn't want them to have.

Dr. Donna:

When it comes to a home, maybe it's going to be in an area that you don't want, but it's still a great area. What's most important to you, is it to have what you want and really experience the joy, or to be so locked in and confined to it, must show up x, y and z. Or it's not for me, because a lot of people think that when they manifest, a universe should bring it to them, that when they manifest, the universe should bring it to them exactly in a certain way, or else it's not the right thing. So a lot of times people miss opportunities, they miss out on a partner, they miss out on a great job, they miss out on a great home. Because there's this. It must you know, it must be like this, or else I don't want it.

Dr. Donna:

And a lot of people will go many years not getting what they want, thinking that life is unfair, thinking that the universe doesn't love them. How come they can't have this one thing? They're a good person, they deserve it. Sadly, a lot of people don't understand that when it comes to manifesting your desired life, there has to be some degree of openness. And if a person is not open, the universe will say okay, you must not really want it, because if you did, you would be a little bit more open on how you receive it.

Dr. Donna:

And just because it shows up differently doesn't mean that it's not right for you, or it's unsafe or it's going to go wrong, and that all boils down to releasing the need to control. Why is there control? Why do people control? Simply because of fear. They're afraid of being hurt or they've been hurt, they've been traumatized and they think that they have to control the situations in their life and even the people in their life in order to feel safe and protection. So control is a false form of protection and it never really works out the way that a person wants it to. We cannot control every aspect of our life.

Dr. Donna:

Life is very fluid. Things come up, situations come up and if you really want your desires, you're going to have to decide to be open to them. Now I know that when it comes to people being fixated on needing to be right, it's because they've had situations where things didn't work out and you know it didn't come the way that they want. So they kind of got locked in more like, okay, this situation didn't work out because I didn't make certain demands. I I you know, was too flexible on my expectations. And there's these beliefs that if there's any flexibility, then you're giving in and that means that you really don't know what you want and you're not strong in your decisions and that is completely wrong. And when I say completely wrong, it is because the universe doesn't respond to that. And yes, we all have traumatic experiences, have bad relationships, had a job that didn't go well or live somewhere we didn't want to live and where, yes, you increase your expectations. Always talk to clients about having some expectations, but have expectations with flexibility.

Dr. Donna:

When it comes to manifesting, most important thing is to let go of the need to control. That is the number one thing that's required. When you manifest, you cannot control how your blessing shows up, and when you do, you really are saying to the universe I'm not ready for this, because the universe doesn't buy into our emotions. It doesn't buy into oh well, you've had some bad experiences, you know, so I need to accommodate you. The universe just works with who you are and where you're at now. And if the universe says whoa, and if your spirit guides in a higher source, god says, hey, I want you to receive this partner, even if they've been married in the past or they are shorter or they have kids, and you say, no, I don't want none of that, then you are delaying your partner. We don't want none of that. Then you are delaying your partner.

Dr. Donna:

We don't know what blessings come with certain people in certain situations until we allow it to show up for us. But if we assume that being with someone who's had a past marriage or a child is going to be bad, that's unfair to the person, to the situation. And if you assume that if that partner doesn't have a certain look, that it's wrong for you, you're cheating yourself. And that goes with jobs, it goes with living situations, with friendships, with anything that you are trying to manifest. You must have flexibility and once we really work through trying to control how we receive things and our expectations, then you go through understanding that my need to control comes from some sort of trauma. You must deal with that trauma in order to receive, because if you don't, you won't be able to recognize your blessings because they will always look like triggers or look wrong. If the person says one thing wrong, you're going to assume it's all bad.

Dr. Donna:

So it is very important to lose the control by healing your trauma and then you can go into writing it down, visualizing and feeling what you want, because you can't feel something and visualize it if you're constantly saying what if it doesn't show up this way. What if it's that way? Well, I won't like this and I won't like that. And you're telling the universe a lot of what you don't want and the universe says, okay. But you need to start telling the universe I want this. As long as it's for my highest good, I am open to receiving it and, yes, it may show up a little bit different, and that's okay.

Dr. Donna:

And if there's a struggle with that, sit back and kind of do some inner work, see what needs to be worked on. That gets in the way and makes you think that you have to control the situation in order to feel safe. Look, in this thing called life, there's no such thing as control. We control very little and life has shown that through a pandemic and many other ways, that situations will arise and we don't know how we're going to meet someone. Sometimes people meet people in the darndest ways, the most bizarre ways, and we just have to let go of controlling, because if you try to control, you're telling the universe that you're not ready to receive. So dig deeper and ask yourself why are you so firm? And yes, some people will say, well, I've worked really hard and I've learned some hard lessons and it's taught me that if I don't have things a certain way, it's wrong. No, it's teaching. You do the healing work, have some expectations, but have the flexibility on how you receive it. Thank you for listening and have a great day.