I'm Not Taco's
I'm Not Taco's
I'm Not Taco's - RV Share, Kids who do chores, Self-worth, Queens who curse, Women who golf
In this episode of, "I'm Not Taco's" - we talk about Kristie potentially renting an RV from RVshare with her family and making the trek across the country to Taos, New Mexico. Kristie has a run in at the park with Toni trying to swindle her out of picking up dog poop and momma bear has to show her that I am the definition of relentless. We talk about being independent (no matter the sex) and how everyone needs 3 (or 4) things in life to be able to stand on your own two feet. Melissa and Kristie confess that they are Queens who LOVE to Curse - I'm Not Taco's. Melissa and Kristie are on the hunt for all the ladies (West Coast and East Coast) who GOLF?! Kristie Stark will be hosting the first ever ladies night at a golf range this August - who is going to be there?!
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You were listening to, I'm not tacos. I'm your host, Christie Christie. Ariano stark for my west coast people. I have Melissa back today and we're talking RV share, uh, kids who do chores. Um, self-worth and three things. Everybody should have Queens who love to curse and women who golf, where are they? I'm looking for you, Melissa. Welcome back woman.
Speaker 2:Hey girl. Hey. Hey girl. Hey, I know I briefly brought this up, but I think we're going to pull the trigger on the New Mexico trip.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm excited. I don't think I've ever been to New Mexico.
Speaker 2:Shut up.
Speaker 3:I mean, unless I was a child, although I do have memory issues, so who knows could have been there like last year.
Speaker 2:I can't wait for your mom to listen to this. She's like, that was her first vacation. It was so memorable. Um, so I really kind of wrapped my mind around this motor home situation to the point of I've kind of asked, like people like, Hey, what do you recommend? Like motor home stops. Cause that's like a very specific thing. It could just be like, mom, I'm going to stay here. Right. You got to have like a, so I found actually, and I'm sure you're familiar, but I don't know if there's really any in Oregon that we ever utilized or any in general, I think maybe one time. And that was like the one time that I was like, this is awesome. Was a campground of America. So there's some F there literally everywhere, but it just looks like literally like your mom's property. Like she ends up putting in like five hookups for like motor homes on our property. Like most it down puts like five picnic tables. It's really depending on the person. Right. Um, but some of the ones that I found that are bigger and or that he just even have, like, the hookups are pretty cool. They have like at least a pool and regular bathrooms in the event that everyone's trying to use the motor home bathroom. That's fun times USA. I feel like, especially with kids. I mean,
Speaker 3:If you want to maintain any sort of like sanitary, anything to have like the real facilities onsite. That's
Speaker 2:Nice. Yeah. So, oh my God. Right. That's what I was like, I was thinking about like the bathroom situation in the motor home. I was like, God. Um, and yeah, so I kind of researched a couple, like along the way, I don't really have a route. That's the other thing I looked at. And then it had like five different ways across the U S cause it really is across the country. Let's be real. Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's a long drive for you. I was trying to find my art, like what I go through and I can't find mine, so I'm not trying to be rude. I was actually trying to add to the conversation. However, apparently I was just being rude because I got nothing done.
Speaker 2:And then the RV, I think I looked at a couple, but I think the one that has like the most offerings and options is RV share for the rental. Uh, and that could be a wa uh, east coast thing. I'm not sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I don't know if I've heard of the RV share, although I haven't ever looked into renting one either.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It looks like they're pretty national. Like they're all over. You can either have the PR and it's like anybody, like your mom would put hers on there to rent. Okay. It has to be
Speaker 3:Stuff right now. Like just with COVID. I mean, they started people started privately renting out their RVs, like crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it's on there. So you basically take a cut and then there's requirements, obviously for, you know, like the bigger ones or if you need like a special license,
Speaker 3:It's like a traveling BNB.
Speaker 2:No, it really is amazing. And I'm sure they're blowing up because I've been looking for a little while now and I've definitely seen like fluctuation in like what's available and then other stuff will pop up. Obviously if like someone cancels or a family ads there's um, so there is a lot of options, which is it's, it's pretty cool. Like yeah. Even get like basically one of those tiny ones. Cause we're going to do like a drivable one. Obviously we can't be in the car. That was actually what made me, you can do
Speaker 3:The, you know, the smaller one. Perfect.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And that's what actually made me decide finally was we used to travel in a car with our parents through like other states. Like I remember we went to Yellowstone and the 4runner. Oh my God. So I was like, we could totally do a motor home. I mean, we did a motor home later in life, but that wasn't, I think my dad got that like older seventies, motor home when we were teenagers. So that's completely different. Well,
Speaker 3:Remember you can't fit in kids these days. Like they did back in the eighties. Oh my God. We had to,
Speaker 2:Right. I will pull this car over and beat you and nobody will care. That was a real threat
Speaker 3:In the eighties. Now it's just talk every time I still threaten it, but never done it. Tony.
Speaker 2:We were walking in the park the other day. And Tony, I told you how we essentially started making her pick up dog crap. I don't like all the time, but like we basically add her to the rotation, like, oh, we're walking, tell me fricking your turn. It was funny. The dog like kind of took off to this little area and I can read Tony like a book, like the back of my hand, man. It's really crazy. So it was like, all right, Tony, your turn. I took the dog for the walk this morning that just got home. She was like, all right. And I could tell like how, the way she was walking over there. She wasn't really even like getting the bag ready. And it was pretty far away. Like Gary was with Bodie and had the dog or no? Yeah. He just had Bodhi. So he was like chasing Bodhi. He'd just let the dog off leash. So she was over there and she had already like ran off by this point. Right. When Tony's going over there, she was already running back toward us. So I started walking toward Tony. She's like, oh man, I don't know. I don't see it laughing on the inside. And I'm like, I don't want her to see me smile. It's like Bodhi. I can't like, let her see me even think that it's a joke because she just takes this so overboard with like the joking. Right. She's like we were laughing. I'm like, no, I was going to punch you. Um, and so she literally did like that one name of like that chick with the glasses on. So I keep walking and I'm already shaking my head. No, and it's mostly, so I don't laugh. I'm like, don't laugh and she's walking toward me. And I was like, go back, go back. I'm like Tony, the dog hasn't been out all day. It's like 8:00 PM right now. She definitely over there. We can see her. She goes and she's like, well, did she? She could've peed. And I go, we saw her. Well, did she? And I'm still walking toward her and she's still trying to, she's like relentless, but listen, I'll be more relentless because, because of how relentless she is. So she definitely, some walking. I'm like, no, let's go. You're coming back. And Gary was like, oh, just come on. And I'm like, Nope, I'm an. Because again, I'm like, no, it's like right here where I walk across that area all the time, just like walking. So I'm like, that's my own bad karma. If we start to sleep in our dog, here, I don't do that. It's like, it's like a littering to dopey neutering in front of me. Right. Um, and so anyhow, sure enough, we get back over there and I'm not going to say that it wasn't brown and leaves and kind of like a weird area over there under this huge massive tree. But our dogs was apparent. Right. It wasn't like blended in and kind of buried into like all of the roughage. No, you could see two huge from the dock. So I'm warning you irritated walking back over there. I'm like, she's like, I don't see it. I'm like, get the bag ready. Let's go. I'm like, oh my God. So I'm just really over the top. I'm like, oh my God. Looking at what the plane was going. I found some just like disgusting at this point. So she's irritated and I'm irritated. And then I'm irritated with Gary that he was going to let her continue to walk back. Right. So by the time we got to him, he was like, you're right. Because there was over there. And I was like, yeah, there totally was over there. Right. And she, uh, she gets more mad when, and that's not my point around trying to make her more mad. I want her just to realize that I'm not going to let up. Right. Or that triggered her head. Let's gamble. Right. If she walks over, I don't want her to be triggered. I want her to say, she's going to walk over. Right. So I'm just going to keep doing those things because I want that to turn off. I don't know if it will, but I just know in my mind, it'll get old, really fast,
Speaker 3:All through. Right. Like a lot of parents make the threat, but don't have the time,
Speaker 2:Man. So I walk all the way back over there to the ode, to that side of the park. And I was like, there's the? And there's the. Like I was so over the top, cause I had all the energy to like build a pool. I was on my trip over there.
Speaker 3:Yep. Nope. That's me too. I'm actually like, can't way over the top. Just trying to make a point. And then usually the boys will like start, you know, giggling or whatnot, unless I am just irritated. Like, are you okay.
Speaker 2:That sounded like discomfort though. Right there. Like laughing discomfort, right? Oh. She caught us. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly it. Yeah. So I'm sure Gary too is like, oh my God, she's, Tony's relentless because Christie's relentless. But I just want that trigger of the gambling part or like the trickery part to like, be like, no don't gamble with her at least. Exactly. Like at least not with her Novum gamble. She'll check she'll call she'll call mom or whatever you're saying, she's going to double check.
Speaker 3:Yep. I like, I have a camera in the living room. It's like a motion detection, camera, whatever sensor camera. So they'll do something. Right. And I'll be able to like see it on the camera and they deny it and I'm like, look like, look, you're on video.
Speaker 2:Like, and they still, but they still do the right. Like
Speaker 3:That'd be looking at it. Like all confused. Like this was just 10 minutes ago guys. Like I'm not bringing up video from 93. This was just on the last half. And then they like have to like look close at it. Like examine it to make sure.
Speaker 2:I mean like yeah, no,
Speaker 3:No. I didn't edit this video in the last 10 minutes on my wrist.
Speaker 2:Like typical guys being like,
Speaker 3:Yes, just deny it just,
Speaker 2:Oh my God. Right. And then make you seem like you're crazy. Uh, we cut hair on my birthday and I thought just like so sad. He looks like so much older. He looks like Nick slash my uncle Charlie's slash he looks like Gary. I don't know. But he totally looks like a little boy. He's like so cute. Well,
Speaker 3:And the route I took not recommended. So I feel like by the time I'm a grandma will be like a great, great grandmother.
Speaker 2:Listen, the grind part is just a lot like that everyday, everyday. And normally again, if you're split it with someone, at least you can like stand in the shower for an extra few seconds and you don't really have that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I do like I'll sit and think sometimes about how, like, obviously it's really hard right now. And I don't know when that magic time is when, I mean, unless you're like a single parent and like you're really, you know, having to do the grind of like doing a full-time work and then coming home and being with the kids and all that. Like, I don't know when that sense of freedom will come, but I dream about it. I crave it. I think about it. You know, it's like not here yet, but I'll be like switching car seats to the, you know, work van to my car or whatever. Like do it, all this stuff. First thing in the morning, watering the plants, like doing all this adulting. Right. And then I'm like, God, I just, I can't wait until I'm not having to like drop them off at daycare and do all this, you know, there's like the teenage years or whatever, just when you can trust that you can put them on the bus. And like, I don't, I don't know when, I don't know when, but there's going to be a day when there's no car seats and I'm not having to get anybody ready in the morning, but me and it's going to be glorious and I'm sure we've all been worth it. It will all have been worth it right now. It's a little torturous, but there will be a day. I mean, it's because it's like gangster life.
Speaker 2:We're pretty like 50. I feel like we're very 50 50. So if I was having to do the every night, get up every night, bath every night dress. Well, it's like, we
Speaker 3:Don't do that every night, but
Speaker 2:We don't need every day.
Speaker 3:Right. I mean, there are certain things that you make sure do happen every single day. However, like, you know, even those people that are like, oh, I never leave the house unless I'm perfectly, you know, groomed in this man. I'm like, if you're a single parent you're doing it. Right. There's going to be times when you leave the dwelling and you don't look good. You look at garbage
Speaker 2:Was nice. They make sure to get dressed. Right. I made sure to like, get dressed for like work, but I've definitely pick up like our grocery. You do like grocery pickup and that poor lady. Right, right. She's funny. Like who's this chick, this isn't the chick from yesterday.
Speaker 3:Right?
Speaker 2:Shut up beach. Yeah. So
Speaker 3:It just, I mean, and even with kids, right. Like, you know, sometimes even their hair's all messy, but like, it's just, I don't know. Right.
Speaker 2:That's what I was gonna say. Even the, like having a nag, Tommy, like, did you brush your teeth? Did you call him your hair? It's nice to split that with someone and have someone else do the nagging while you're in the background, because that is annoying. Right. And to always have to play that role too.
Speaker 3:That's one of the things like, you know, when talking to my mom about like the help that I need and stuff, and like she offers one kind of help and I try to like, you know, say like, this is the help that I need. And it was funny. Cause the bath was the example that I gave is like, you know, that's great that like you like would buy them clothes or whatever else I go. But you know, if you gave them a bath, if I came home from work and they were already bathed, that is worth so much more to me than clothes or toys or whatever else, because I'm like no idea. Right. And she didn't, she didn't because she just thought like she was, you know, helping being like nice buying this stuff. And like, all I wanted was someone to like, give him a bath for me like that,
Speaker 2:You know, just picking up and be like, let's just go lay down.
Speaker 3:Right. Exactly. So yeah, that stuff, it is it's, you know, it's huge. You don't really think about it cause you're just like constantly going through the motions. But yeah, that's just the little things.
Speaker 2:Um, that's funny. I, when I was flying to Oregon, there was a lady on the plane that I was talking with and she was telling me how her and her husband weren't doing that. Well, basically like during COVID and that they had gone to therapy earlier in their marriage. She's like, we're going to do therapy again. Well, for always, I mean the recycle and the garbage, like it was just something that was completely taken off her plate and she's like, I'm a Dewar. So that was like, I wouldn't be like, oh, that's a guy's job. She's like, so I would always do the garbage and the recycle also and just try and do whatever needed to be. She's like, but it really was a big relief. Yeah. She's like to be like, I don't have to worry about that. Someone else is going to do it. She's like, and he was really good about not making it like falling out of the garbage can or anything annoying. She's like, so it literally was like something taken off my plate. She's like, it made such a huge difference. She's like we joked about it later that we had to go to therapy to learn about who's going to take the trash out. She goes because it needs such a big difference. It was so stupid.
Speaker 3:Right. It does help to have like a, you know, the whole therapy, the outsider perspective, like, uh, the only kind of real therapy I've had with anyone, uh, kids turn like when you're doing any sort of child custody or child support case or whatnot through the county here, you have to do the class. It's called kids turn and it's not, I mean, real therapy. It's like a class that you take, but it's, it's stuff you would work through and right. There'll be and stuff like that. And they do, you know, you have to be engaged in the class and partake and whatnot. Yeah. Right. Exactly. And like the kids, dad and I were not getting along, like hardcore, not getting along and that class right before the class. And I mean, you could just see, like, it's funny because I didn't know exactly when he was taking the class. I took mine first, like months before he did. And then he ended up doing it because he has to, for our case now, knowing like the span when he took it, that's when we like seriously made our improvements and started communicating again from it's a, you know, six week class or whatever, you know, over the course of that six weeks. I mean, it's five, whatever it is, it was just doing the work. Right. Because I can remember like that first week being like, oh my God, like, did he just have a normal reaction? And didn't act like a lunatic? Like what just happened? Because that's the point we were at like hated each other. I'm pretty sure that it was the same on both sides. So when he started like reacting different, I mean, it was super noticeable to me. And then yeah, at the end of that class, like we were actually communicating, you know, Lincoln like was in soccer. So we were getting along like, you know, had a common interest at that time, you know, partaking in the kids like sports and stuff. And it was all from a class. Like we didn't take the same class and really, you wouldn't want people to take the same class. Cause you're talking about the co-parent in the class. So that fine. That's hilarious.
Speaker 2:He's like over there you're like that guy,
Speaker 3:Right. You're not saying the name, but you're like in the same class, like, oh yeah, we're in the class together. Yeah. So my ex sucks just, yeah.
Speaker 2:What did they, were they just using like examples that you guys have for them in class?
Speaker 3:Yeah. But you know, here's the thing, like everybody thinks they're so unique and everything's so different, but people, you know, the humankind in general react pretty similar to situations. And when people are splitting up and situations get elevated, you get children involved. Like there's a lot of similarities in, you know, situations, unless you have like a really elevated situation where there was abuse or something like that. But that's, that was a different class, not the class we were in. So, um, but yeah, no, I mean just like teaching the tools to communicate and then also having someone be like, look, you don't have control over the other parent. And then cause you want to be like, well, yeah, but no, it's my kid. And I should be able to like tell who, you know, they are in contact with this and that. And the like the counselors, like, no, it's their parenting time, unless they're in danger or something like that. Like, because Mike and I would literally argue about like, what kind of vitamins I'm giving the boys kind of like have someone like stop, you know, professional that you're actually listening to stuff and be like, okay, no, no, it's not your business. Um, and it does, it's a lot to be like, yeah.
Speaker 2:Be like, okay, I'm required wanting to be here. Cause sometimes in a therapist situation, a person's like, we'll go yourself. I pay you. And I'm not going to listen to this. Nice though. Cause it was like a service that probably you guys didn't even know you needed really more for each other. Not even the boys. It's just to like, okay, we have to like see each other for a couple more years.
Speaker 3:Well, so I did this class a couple of years back when I first got it established for Lincoln.
Speaker 2:Uh, very cool. What was that called? Kids turn. And that's like a program that they use for like any type of custody issue in Washington county.
Speaker 3:Yeah. If you, I it's any support or custody agreement. That's amazing. That has to be done first. Yeah. I mean, if they have
Speaker 2:Like that curriculum kind of built in, like this is required, obviously they saw how beneficial it was. I mean, even for you guys, I mean, and they don't even know those things. Those are just something you're
Speaker 3:Talking about gave feedback or, you know, especially since he's with this class months after mine,
Speaker 2:That's interesting. They use yeah, like later you're like, well what's happening to you? Oh
Speaker 3:One, it's funny that like there's, you know, such a, an obvious timeline too, because we went from just like, it was just horrible. Right? So that's how like I can literally be like, no, it was like this day because when you go from just, it just being so horrible to, I mean, you know, if like you were around someone who was just a total and then all of a sudden it's trends, sunshine and butterflies,
Speaker 2:You're like, Ooh, what's going on here? I have like a handful of other friends that are just going through some, some crazy, crazy relationship that I just can't even wrap my mind around it. And it's hard to even, I mean, not that they're asking me for advice, they generally just try to be like a good listener. It'd be like, oh my God, I had no idea how to help you because I feel so helpless. Like I have more than like two friends, which is crazy to say that are having some go down and they like don't have their own money. They were in married situations with children. And I think that there are literally two different coastlines. So I'm like, oh my God, I have these two women in my life that can't rent an apartment. Uh, one of them doesn't know like where her passport and her secure social security cards at my marriage isn't like this. So that's why like I don't try and like be a nodal or be like, oh, you should do this. Like I have no idea. We just do whatever works for us. And if it doesn't, we switch it, you know,
Speaker 3:When, when you have kids involved and you're thinking about how they feel about it and you know, that's another thing that usually drags it out. Cause you're trying to make the decision for what would be best for or what would they want, right. Not necessarily what's best for you.
Speaker 2:The love of God, if there's three things that I could tell any person over the age of 18, whether you're a guy or girl is always just have your own and that's not, it shouldn't be an offensive thing. Like if you're getting married and, or having kids and you're, let's say you do, you are going to be a stay-at-home mom. There still needs to be something right. You should still have your own savings and checking just in your name and you should have one credit card. That's just in your name. That's for emergencies or God forbid a funeral in your life. Or if you don't have control over your stuff and your husband does, or your wife does the opposite, like you'd be screwed if that other person something ever happened to them. So like just in general, that is not a, and I mean, I, one of them in particular, she's like, I actually felt the opposite. I thought it was going to be like a secure situation where they're handling that part of our situation in our life. She's like maybe I was being naive. Um, and what's her easiest,
Speaker 3:The best in people. And in situations you don't go into those situations thinking like, if you go into this situation thinking, Ooh, I need a fail, safe type that like, then you're already, you know, the red flags, you want to believe the best out of it.
Speaker 2:Well, and just in general, even before that, let's say you're single. I just feel like people don't get married anymore when they're 18. I mean, that still happens. But for the most part, we wait till we're a little bit older or you've had like your first jobs. You're not like living going straight from like your kid bedroom to your husband's house or something like it used to be back in the day. I feel like, um, and just as like a parent, like, I wouldn't want Bodie or Tony to be in a situation. And they willingly say, I don't have a checking account. I don't have any money that comes in steady revenue to myself. I don't have my passport, my girlfriend hasn't somewhere. She manages. That'd be like, w where is it? Like you should be able to just stand on your own two feet. So when you take those things away from me, that's kind of your foundation as an adult, right? I mean, that's some Brittany Spears. If you asked me, right, you don't have your ID in your car keys, that's a problem.
Speaker 3:And you should always have your own car too. I feel, I mean, maybe it's something in New York, but,
Speaker 2:But again, like your own subway car, your own, like your own form of transportation, your own ID to get your stuff. Yeah, exactly. Um, so I just, and I didn't even know how to help this one particular person with those things. Cause I was like, oh my God, that's like a lot of, and I mean, it was control over like a long period of time. Obviously it wasn't like she was getting in a relationship and they were like, here's all the things I need from you. But it happened at the time. Right. And then when stuff started not to go, you know, the right direction in her relationship, she's like, I can't even take out$20 out of a bank account because everything is in the other person's name. That would be crazy. Uh, like I don't control the accounts. So like my car insurance comes out of, I don't know, like all of those things are not all the answers to that is like, I mean, Jesus was like, need 16 in your parent. Take up all your away. Right. You don't have your phone or nothing. Like that's crazy. Or like how to your phone is on their account. Like all of those things, that's crazy. You should have your own phone.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah. On phone
Speaker 2:For go get a prepaid. I don't care. But there's those three things you should have money ID, car, and a phone, always just yourself. If you don't have those things or you think that you're still comfortable as to give them up for one you're crazy. And for two, I feel like it says something too about your self-esteem to say, I'm an adult. I should have these very basic things in the United States where I live. I don't live out in the country. I live somewhere where I should have these three basic things. And I mean, you and I are very independent. And so those stories really like just drive it home for me. But like, how do you explain it in a sense, like you said, without it being like you're insecure and like something's always bad is going to happen. I just think that it's more of like a self esteem, um, growth. That if you want to be your best person, you should be able to stand alone for one. Right. Um, or if you are going to partner up with someone, you guys should be like the best team possible, but you shouldn't be standing behind someone, not guy or girl. Right.
Speaker 3:Those situations always end up like pivoting you though towards like, you know where you want to go though. Like the of the situations are the ones that you have the ability to learn the most from. So yeah. You've definitely had some doozies. Um,
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I think too, I mean, listen, I feel like people that's like either when they go like a really bad, like really bad road, they're like, oh my God, I can never let it go. Or it's the opposite. And they're like, holy. That ain't for me.
Speaker 3:Yep. And you live, you learn, hopefully you learn some people just keep living. But
Speaker 2:So yeah. Had the money thing. So basically my point to this whole story was, uh, you've gotta be able to stand on your own two feet. And even if you're the person that basically has all the control of you're listening to this and you're like, she's stupid. Uh, even for the confidence of the other person, if you want them to still be like a strong person or a good dad or a good mom or whatever, you can't have control over someone like that and think it's going to end well. Or if you're the person listening to this and you have a little control, it ain't good.
Speaker 3:No. When the example you're making for your kids too, you know, like what, what do you want them to see? What do you want them to take away? Because there's lots of decisions that, you know, I go to do one thing and I'm like, okay, wait, like what, what are the boys going to get from it?
Speaker 2:So, yeah, it is hard with the kids. And that was actually what made me think. I'm like, God, even if it was even if it was Bodhi and he was telling me his wife like had all their logins and was just kind of explaining their situation. Like, I'd probably be a little uneasy because you don't want someone to live like that where they don't really have control over their situation. Or if they felt like they were in a vulnerable place or maybe something in their relationship, wasn't where it should be. They shouldn't feel stuck there for that reason either. Right. I mean, I know some people probably liked that part and you know, again like that, there's going to be people listening that they're like, I run the money. I do those things, right. Yeah. We'll you guys. No, I'm teasing.
Speaker 3:But then like you ended up, you know, also letting people walk all over you because you're like, oh, well the repercussions of just standing up for myself in this situation is like not even worth it. So, you know, you're just like, okay, I'll let this one go. But then you ended up doing that so much that you've inevitably like invited someone to, you know, control your life. Basically. You know, my grandma would always tell me like, oh, Melissa marry Dr. Mary lawyer. And I get so insulted, I'd be like, ah, I'm meant to be a doctor or a lawyer. Like, I'll make my own money. Like love to marry a man with money, but I'm going to have my own. Thank you. But like, I would just be, and this is like, from the time I was really young, probably like six or seven, like, no, I'm not going to it. Why would you tell me to marry a doctor? I don't want to be take care of me. And I don't know. It's just like always been so ingrained in my mind that I really cannot even fathom a situation like that because it's so far away from it.
Speaker 2:And I get the tired part. I'm not saying I'm not tired and I want to work. I'm just saying for self-worth every day and
Speaker 3:Right. Have your own identity, your own thing. Yeah. And
Speaker 2:If there's other stuff in your life like depression or anxiety, those jobs and those life skills or whatever it is, you're volunteering or babysit or whatever, like they get you out of bed, they get you to shower and brush your teeth and keep you moving so
Speaker 3:Well, I mean, let's be real in this day and age and what's going on just, you know, with 20, 20 being last year, um, you know, how many people are depressed right now and down and out, like in general. Yeah. Right. Just in general,
Speaker 2:Just like day to day.
Speaker 3:So that's even like with my diagnosis, I've told so many people that my work, even when it's incredibly stressful, like it gives me something else to focus on because I can't imagine not being employed and having such a heavy load on me because if I had time to sit and focus on my illness, it would be like debilitating. It's like, you need to have things to, to get you out of bed when you're not feeling it that morning to, you know, to watch for, to work towards. Right. Exactly. No matter how hard it is, like when my arms aren't working and my body's shutting down, like I don't want to get out of bed, but I do because I have kids and a job like so right. You have to have the reasons to power through. So that's why you have to have your own identity, your own thing. Because if you don't have those reasons to power through and you get in those situations, it's an even darker road to go down.
Speaker 2:Uh, you know, who I saw as going on tour. I need to see if she's coming to Portland. I wanted to try and pick up a ticket tickets here. Cause she added some was and I watched it over COVID so she made like an instant fan, Allie Wong. I think I've seen her. So you'll have to look. So she does have a handful on Netflix and long story short was she doesn't come from a lot. And she met this guy that graduated from, with his masters, from Harvard business. I believe her yell somewhere, but somewhere crazy business school and basically was getting married and they were like, oh, prenup and blah, blah, blah. And so essentially this chick, um, struck it rich and got Netflix deals to them and talks about it on the specials about how they were like, oh, you should get a, you're marrying this Asian girl. You should get a prenup. But she's like, yeah, prenup now. Um, I've
Speaker 3:Seen this, I'm horrible with names. That's one of my memories, things going on,
Speaker 2:She's on tour now. And people were like, oh my God, what is your mom feeling good? She's like what? My mom she's like, my sister is a lesbian who lives next door to my mom. My mom thinks I'm cool. Great.
Speaker 3:It's funny. Cause there's a, you know, there's I guess, stereotypes for everything. Right? So just like, you know, being a white woman, like what I experienced working in like, you know, male driven industries and whatnot. Like I get so annoyed with just like these preconceived ideas and whatnot. Well, and it's hard to make your own way because like, you know what she's talking about, her culture and stuff. I don't even have that. I always am aware of the fact that people don't think that I talk like a lady and you know, this and that. And I don't, I don't want to care. Honestly. I don't like, there'll be times where I'll start to think like, oh, I wonder what people think of me, this and that. But this is me. This is who I am. And I feel like if you know me, you like me, you've heard me say the word a million times. I don't want to change that to, I don't know, to mold myself to someone's cookie cutter perception of what a lady should be like, okay, I guess I'm not a lady. Like, what do you want me to say to this? But I love when people like take that approach because you're constantly told like, you need to listen to people's opinions. You need to like fit in and you have to constantly work at like, no, no, I don't, I don't want to fit the mold. I don't want to be the norm. I don't want to fit in like stop telling me that's what I want because um,
Speaker 2:I told Gary Gary's going to be on the podcast, but it just hasn't worked out and he doesn't feel great today. Um, but we constantly go grounds after being married this long, literally night, about how much I curse. That's who you were when he met you. That's what I said. Uh, I think a very common misconception, well, two things. So this just goes left twice, which is why people are judgmental for one, we have vaginas. If you haven't, you're not allowed to curse. Apparently. Is that what that thing is down there? Exactly. Number two men have been cultured to think that they can say that's not ladylike, whatever it may be, because I know for sure that I can walk into an attorney's office. There's guys there and they're talking about what they put their Dick in over the weekend, but I got to talk like a lady. Right. Um, so I don't buy that. So we go round about it, like in a fun way. Not in like in a, and to be clear, I don't curse at Gary. Like, uh, we don't ever like call each other names or anything like that. So when I put that out there in the air, I need different boundaries. Yeah. So, I mean, in the sense of guests, what the we're doing, we're taking a motorhome to tell us New Mexico for like the best vacation on the planet. So that's how I speak and what I'm excited about. It definitely flies out more to Gary says that I'm a queen and that I shouldn't be talking like that. And I said, I'm a queen. And I'll say, whatever the I want.
Speaker 3:Right. I just, I have to be me, I think is what it comes down to.
Speaker 2:What do you got planned for today? Ooh. So two things. One, I think girls need to get more into golfing. I agree. I just think it's great for walking and building relationships and business stuff. I feel like that's why it's ended up being so male dominated is because it's a place of business or talking out a situation for business and females have just gotten left out.
Speaker 3:That is true. But so, you know, there's a lot of like golf tournaments that happen, right? Like when it comes to business, like weather
Speaker 2:I've thrown some of those since you've been there. Right? Exactly.
Speaker 3:So those tournaments, I mean, honestly that's always like my selling point is that because the ladies tea is so much further up is that I can drive it like a man. So if you want to win this tournament, right. You know, I can put us like right up there on the green, practically on a par four. So let's do this.
Speaker 2:I have one friend I'm going to call her out right now because she's going to be like, I hate you. Um, I have one friend Connie and she's constantly driving the cart. I'm like, get out and Hey, what are you doing? You don't play. She's like, Kevin, I just drive. I'm like, no, get out. She says, I need to give her lessons. But if she's out there, like just try, I throw the ball on the fairway and just be hacking away.
Speaker 3:I think it could be like one of the most frustrating games ever. Oh yeah. I like to, when people are like, oh, well it's not exercise. You know? Like, oh, that's a lie. Right? Exactly. If you're walking in, I mean, even if you have a cart and you're pulling your bag or I mean, you don't have to carry your bag. You can just, you know, walk nine or 18, like whatever. Yeah. No it's exercise. And then to go out there and swing your golf club a hundred times. Okay. I mean, let's like, let's say you're playing 18. You know? Like the shortest is a par three and let's be real on a par three. Most people aren't just getting three. Right. So
Speaker 2:Right. You learned till high school. And I wish I would've learned earlier. I always say that now, but I could have been good. I am good. Even when we went to the short course of the day, I literally hit it on the green lake four times in a row. We only got to play eight holes because it was closing very was like Tony thought. I was like, awesome. And the times that I wouldn't get it on the green and it was like right off the rough, when I tell you that, that rough was like swallowing my ball. Right. Cause they don't take it. Like who's managing that. And we paid like, I don't know,$11 a person or something really embarrassing, like cheap. So of course your game's going to suck a Dick when you're going to pay$12 a person and then the grass eats your ball. Right. And I got spoiled because I grew up on pumpkin Ridge. I just mean
Speaker 1:Grew up. Like that's where I started. That was probably like a starting point to then go to other courses in you're like, uh, yeah. I mean, if you're in Hillsville, you're probably certain up something more like Killarney old times, man. Uh, gone there. I mean, Hey, that's the best price. Just what I'm saying that exactly. No, ma'am when he said that I was like more of my heart. I didn't seriously. What's right. I would go there all the time. Like I would like eat peanut butter and jelly. It's like twice a week. It's funny. Cause there's like those two houses, you know, like probably like eighth pool and some like that. But I hear where I learn is like maybe the golf course that you wouldn't want to live on because Ramsey, there is every level of golfer, not like a random like, oh, I'm going golfing at the reserve with my boyfriend once this year. But like there's consensus. We go into corny every day. Right? This podcast is sponsored by stark standards. We like our business. Like we like our coffee stark strong[inaudible].