30: Ladies, avoid these mistakes with your career change!

Career mindset coach Ellen Torreyson helps women challenge their beliefs and get real about why they want to make a career change and how they go about it.

In this episode of Career Switch Podcast,  Ellen fills us in on the major mistakes she sees with her clients before and after they decide to make a career switch, and how you can avoid them. 


Find Ellen Torreyson at:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/ellentorreysoncoaching

Facebook: www.facebook.com/EllenTorreysonCoaching

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/ellentorreyson

Music credit: TimMoor from Pixabay

Podcast info:
What's your career switch? What do you think about this episode and the show? Tell us at careerswitchpod.com. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Transcript

Lixandra: Hi, everyone. I'm Lixandra Urresta, and this is Career Switch Podcast. This show is here to encourage you to take action with whatever career change you're considering or working on. Maybe you're trying to switch industries or professions or break out on your own and start a business. In some episodes, I talk to people who've made their own career switch, whether by choice or circumstance. They share the good, the bad, and the truth about their journey, including what worked for them and what didn't. In other episodes, I speak with experts who offer their best career advice on challenges that can come up during the process of making a career change. After all, it takes guts to switch things up, and it's not easy. However, it is possible. 

So, I hope you hear something in this episode, an idea, a suggestion, a piece of advice that will spur you into action with your own career switch, whether it's taking that first bold step or trying something new. Welcome. I'm glad you're here. 

In today's episode, I speak with Ellen Torreyson, a career mindset coach who helps women love their career, whether it's the career they're in or figuring out their career switch. Ellen helps her clients challenge their beliefs and get real about why they want to make a career change and how they go about it. She fills us in on the major mistakes she sees with her clients and how to avoid them. 

Hi Ellen, thanks for joining us today. Let's dive in. You coach women, many of them in senior leadership roles, who are looking to make a career change. What is one big mistake you see these women make when they come to you and they're thinking about a career switch?

Ellen: One of the things I see most often is they will come to me thinking the career switch is going to make them happier. They think that changing their circumstances will make them happier. But what ends up happening is they just get themselves into another situation. And then a year later, they figure out they're still unhappy. I have a client who is the top salesperson at her company. And she came to me saying she hates sales and wants to get out of sales. But once we got clear on what exactly she didn't like about sales and questioned some of the stories she was telling herself, we unwound the fact that she doesn't hate sales at all. She just doesn't like her employer.

Lixandra: Now, why is it a mistake to think that changing your circumstances will make you happier?

Ellen: The career change might help make you happy, but happiness is a feeling that comes from your thoughts about whatever is happening. It's your thoughts about your career. It's a thoughts about the employer you work for or the boss that you work for. And people get confused and think that if they change their situation or their circumstance, meaning the boss, the job, the career, that by itself will create the happiness. But that's incorrect. The happiness comes from your thoughts about the thing. Something for your listeners to think about is, do I really want a career switch? And just being super clear on why, like what you think a career switch is going to do for you. Or is it that you're in the wrong role at your employer and just be open to exploring what it is you're after before you officially decide that the career switch is what's going to make you happy, knowing that it's going to be your thoughts at the end of the day. about the career.

Lixandra: OK, so how do you help your clients with this mentality that a career switch will make them happy?

Ellen: So the first thing I work on with all my clients is awareness, awareness of the stories they tell themselves about various aspects of their life, what they make conversations and situations mean, how those stories are impacting their day to day. So in the beginning, I like to have them keep a log of three things for a week, both inside and outside of work. Just noticing when you are doing something you love that feels easy and feels like you're in the flow and you're enjoying yourself. Noticing what you dread and where you are procrastinating. And a clue here is when you start getting off task and distracting yourself with things like social media or email. And then notice your superpowers. And the way I define superpowers is those skills that we all have that we take for granted because they come so naturally and easily to us that we don't even think of them as special. But then when you're working with someone who doesn't have those skills, you're completely baffled at how they don't know these things. I give the example of myself when I was in corporate, I was always really good at coaching my team. I was good at relationship building. I was good at communications and problem solving, but I discounted them because they were soft skills. And I thought everybody knows how to do this, but I learned those were actually my superpowers. And not everyone does know how to do those things. So I just have them keep track of all that. I give them a few journal prompts to answer each day. And through those exercises, the clues start to emerge.

Lixandra: Can we go back to your client who was in sales? Did she do these exercises?

Ellen: She did. And she's really good with the journal prompts. She writes every day. And one of the things with the journal prompts is you can ask yourself the exact same question every day. And people think you're just going to get the same answer, but you don't. It's how you start sort of exploring what's in your brain and seeing what the stories are that are in there that are keeping you in this mindset of, for example, her, I hate sales. But when we got more into detail, like what about it do you hate? Why do you hate it? What do you make that mean? Is that really true? She figured out she actually really enjoys working with the clients and is really good at it. And it comes naturally to her. It's her employer she doesn't like. And she didn't uncover that until she sort of unwound the stories in her head about all of it.

Lixandra: Tell us more about journaling.

Ellen: There's lots of ways to journal. You can also just dump your thoughts on paper, like a lot of people do that. But I find, and my clients find, that it's easy when you have, easier when you have a question to answer each day, because you don't have to try to come up with where to start. You just are like, I'm going to answer this question.

Lixandra: What's one of the journal prompts that you give your clients?

Ellen: So I'll have them think of a situation in their life, whatever feels heaviest or both top of mind in the moment. with the same salesperson, I'll say, my job. And then I will have her write down, you know, what do you want the outcome to be here? What do you want your ideal job to look like, your ideal situation to look like? And then my favorite question for that is, what beliefs do you have right now that are telling you you can't have that? Because then you start to see real quick where you're getting in your own way.

Lixandra: So a question like that flips your thinking because you're so caught up with your thoughts that a question like that will stop you and force you to rework your thinking.

Ellen: We all have these beliefs. A belief is just a thought you've practiced over and over and over. People just say them so casually, like, well, I've just always been this way. So then they act like it's not changeable because it's just the way it is. But the truth of the matter is. That it's not a fact, it's just a thought you've practiced a whole heck of a lot that you're treating as a fact and it's getting in your way.

Lixandra: And what are some other beliefs your clients have that get in the way?

Ellen: They think they're going to have to start all over. So depending on what it is, like I have to go back to school. I have to get this certification. I have to know how to use this software or tool depending on how old they are. They're too old, which is so funny because I have women who are 30 say that, and I have women who are 60 say that. It's, you know, again, it's just a thought they have. They worry what people are going to think. So like, what are all my colleagues going to say that I worked with for the last 20 years? What is my husband going to say or my family? They tell them stories about the job market. So they read one article on one webpage, one time with someone's opinion. And now they've decided that means the job market's terrible, for example. So they use it against themselves. They're afraid to fail and or end up in a worse situation. Like what if the boss I go to work for ends up being worse than this one? They also worry about maintaining their lifestyle, which translates to money. Like having the same life that they're accustomed to financially.

Lixandra: Wow. Thanks for that list, Ellen. What are some ways that you help your clients overcome these particular concerns?

Ellen: So with maintaining their lifestyle, I, I can think of multiple clients. Cause I literally, I think I hear this from every single person. So the one thing they all had in common, they all fretted about having enough money, being able to pay bills, maintain the same level that they were used to, and then they all had something different. So the differences were one was talking about quitting with five weeks of pay saved up and thinking that that was all she needed. One had a year's worth and one had 16 months worth of expenses saved up. But they all had in common is that none of them had done the math. And they were all fretting about it and delaying taking action from the drama they had about the money, but none of them had done an actual spreadsheet. So I encouraged them to separate math from drama. Cause it's like, they would spend weeks and months like, Oh, I just can't do this until I X, Y, Z. And I'm like, have you run the numbers? And then they look at the numbers. They're like, oh, I have 16 months in the bank. I didn't even realize. So I definitely encourage people to separate out facts, which in this case is actual numbers on paper, from drama. All those thoughts we have in our heads keeping us from doing things.

Lixandra: And what about a woman who's concerned about what others might think of her?

Ellen: We are all trying to avoid feeling uncomfortable. I'm giving my own self as an example here, because I have roughly 900 LinkedIn connections. I was in corporate for over 20 years. I did not want to put that information up there that I was now a coach. I thought they were going to gossip about me or make fun of me, even though I would have no way of knowing, and even though their opinion doesn't matter to me. When I did put that information up there, the number of supportive and complimentary messages I got really surprised me. So I'm just sharing that as an example of how our own thoughts get in the way. The reality is, is often so different. So what I have them do is just look at like, what are you afraid of happening? What is the likelihood that that's actually going to happen? And are you willing to accept the discomfort of what people might think versus the discomfort of not taking action on your dreams. Because either way, it's uncomfortable.

Lixandra: Oh, OK. So taking that chance is uncomfortable, but then also staying in the same situation is uncomfortable. Right.

Ellen: And in one scenario, you win.

Lixandra: Yes, so true. All right, we've covered one major mistake you typically see with your clients before making a career switch. What is another big mistake you see your clients make when they actually start their career switch?

Ellen: What most people do is I see them scroll the job boards. They scroll and scroll and scroll and find all the reasons why they can't do a new job. And then they give up or. They update their resume and apply, and usually don't hear back on that first one, and they give up. Or they do get a job, and it's often as a result of searching for a change from this place of urgency and panic. I've got to get out of here right now. I can't take another day of this. And when we are in panicked, fight-or-flight state of mind, we aren't making our best decisions. So this is how women often end up finding themselves right back in the same type of situation a year later.

Lixandra: And how do you address these obstacles?

Ellen: I like to help them figure out who they really are and what they really want first, instead of just, I'm going to do my resume and I'm going to check these boxes to do these networking strategies. or these LinkedIn strategies or whatever to get another job that looks a heck of a lot like the one I have right now. So I help them figure out who they are and what they want and why they want it. So instead of being in that panicky fight or flight energy, when they're looking, they're in this energized, motivated, totally like not questioning themselves, not wondering if they're making the right decision. place as they go about their search. At the end of the day, it's a human going through all of this, having a human experience. So I like to address the human experience first. Then once we get that all solid, then we can address the strategies.

Lixandra: So once a client knows what new career aligns with them, what are some other challenges that can come up?

Ellen: So some of the other things I see are they want the process to go perfectly. Like I said, no failure, no wrong decisions, but it keeps them from taking action. They may feel guilty, such as I'm so fortunate to even have a job. I'm fortunate to make the kind of money I make. I shouldn't complain. I shouldn't want to change careers. I shouldn't want more. I have so much. Because so much of that is culturally kind of drilled into us to appreciate what you have and not complain. They also will compare themselves to family members who have less and feel guilt for, again, wanting more when they already have more than everyone else in their family. And so then we get into sort of unwinding some of the guilt that comes with all that too.

Lixandra: And when we first spoke, you mentioned how women tend to look at job ads. Tell us about that.

Ellen: So one thing I noticed with women, especially that I work with, I've worked with a few men in the past, but now I focus on just women is they'll look at a job posting. They'll read it and be like, oh yeah, I know how to do that. No, I don't do that. And then they'll find the one bullet out of 20. That's something they haven't done before, and they'll use it as an excuse to like I guess I can't do this job and I'll move on to the next one. Instead of focusing on the 19 things they can do and have done and realizing that you kind of want to have a little gap in there. Otherwise you're just making a lateral move. If it's things you've done before, you're just going into doing the stuff you already know how to do with no growth whatsoever.

Lixandra: Okay, Ellen, let's talk about your coaching services. You offer a six month coaching program for women. That is a combination of one-on-one time with you and time with their peers in a group setting. How can listeners find you?

Ellen: So they can find me in three places. I'm on Instagram and I'm on Facebook at Ellen Torrison coaching, and I'm on LinkedIn, Ellen Torrison.

Lixandra: Great. As we wrap up, I know you're big on curiosity. Tell us about that in relation to making a career switch.

Ellen: Yeah. Curiosity is probably the number one emotion I encourage everyone to sort of operate from when they're doing this. It's a Walt Whitman quote, be curious, not judgmental about yourself and about everyone else.

Lixandra: Why is that quote important to you?

Ellen: So that quote's important to me because I find that for myself as a coach, as a human, as a mom, as a wife, in all the different parts of my life, if I'm ever feeling out of sorts about anything at all, if I can just remember to be curious about whatever it is that's going on, I find so much comfort in that. And that's where I find so many answers.

Lixandra: Thanks to Ellen Torreyson for being our guest today. You can find Ellen on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn. You can find links to the resources mentioned in this episode and more helpful information in the show notes and on our website, careerswitchpod.com. 

So, what's your career switch? Are you motivated to take action after listening to this episode? Tell us at careerswitchpod.com. We'd love to know, along with any feedback you have about the show. Let us know too, if you'd like to be a guest. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn at careerswitchpod. And please rate, review, and share with your friends and colleagues. It'll help get the show out there. Thanks for listening today. Till next time.