Would you believe me if I told you that it has taken me a year and a half to get around to mustering up the courage to bring this podcast to life? A year and a half, y’all.
For a year and a half I have flushed money down the drain for a podcast subscription that I convinced myself I wasn't ready for OR qualified to use and that I was terrified to even approach an attempt, even though I was the dodo that signed myself up for all of this. The thought of sitting down in front of a microphone gave me such severe anxiety and for the neuro spicy crowd out there, you know that sometimes our executive function can be overwhelming and well, here we are.
It's July of 2024 and I'm excited to finally put my first episode out there to share with you guys. This thing that’s been on my heart for such a long time, it’s finally here.
Today we're gonna talk about carrot not stick. Yay. Carrot, not stick. There's so much that I want to say about that. But I'm going to start with this - God is never late. God is always right on time. He is so good. He's so patient with us. At the same time however, I have wrestled with the fact that delayed obedience on my part is disobedience. Yeah, ouch. I have really had to work through some things about myself and my heart and my mind and my spirit, and I have searched out the “why” my mind has continued to grab the stick and beat myself over the head with it. Ouch.
That's not how God loves us. He loves us tenderly. He loves us fully. He's not going to bring us to the point of absolute exasperation just to beat the crap out of us. He's just not going to do that. That's not who He is. It’s not in His nature. I'm actively working on not letting my thoughts assassinate my ascension and I'm going to settle into what I know. It's truth. Biblical truth that says that I am full of faith and the Holy Spirit and I'm going to walk in that because there's no room for the counterfeit. I need to be genuine. And I know that you appreciate that, too.
That's what God does. He gives us this treasure to seek out, to find something to go after and it's a beautiful thing because when you're hungry boy does He fill you up. He fills you up in a way that nothing else can. He is the only One who can truly satisfy our heart. What I'm discovering is the more that I am pursuing my relationship with the Lord with, my Savior and the more I spend time trying to understand and get to know who Jesus is, (Yeshua, right? Yeshua.) the more I realize that I'm supposed to simply rest in His promises and I'm not supposed to wear myself out over things that just don't matter.
This podcast is about being dedicated to understanding better the stuff in life that I'm wrestling with personally, but also just as much for all you hearts out there that I know are also similarly beating and in a place of similar desire for growth. So welcome. Welcome to the show. I'm “Squid” and I am going to be the host of this podcast as long as the good Lord says so and I'm here to share my heart and hopefully be a human directional for you. It is my hope that the light that's in my life because of what God has done in my life, that it will help someone else along the way. That my questions and my desire for understanding and growth and to heal from so much baggage in my life has a place, and it wasn’t in vain. That it's time for all of that to come forth so that it can help someone else. And I don't know about you, but I am a huge fan of matching luggage. We’re talking suitcases that have been monogrammed… there's a hat box, I've got the the matching cosmetics bag, I've got the “Big Mama” that weighs 55 pounds and is the max limit on an airplane. Don’t forget about the weekender, the garment bag, and the carry-on. Baggage, professional style. I'm tired of carrying suitcases and I think it's time that we unpacked.
Scratch that, I KNOW it's time for me to unpack, right, like it's definitely time. It's time for me to put down the things that I've been holding on to that have grieved me for so long. It's time to really step into the authority that I have that comes from healing. And the when I say authority what I mean by that is instead of letting everyone else run my life, I get to have a say in my own life. I know that's ridiculous. It sounds ridiculous because even when I say it back, I'm like that is the stupidest thing… Not taking ownership of my own life… But it's true. It's true.
I was so busy NOT making plans, in part because I was in a perpetual season of recovery mode that everyone else's plans and everyone else's mask got put on first. Like when you’re on an airplane and the overhead speakers announce that in the event of an emergency to put your own mask on BEFORE helping others. So now here I am. Out of oxygen with matching suitcases and at a loss honestly, for even what to do or where to go. I desire to heal and I have this desire to be around like-minded individuals. I really don't have time for anything that isn't loving and kindness and that doesn't edify the Kingdom or for anything that doesn't bring joy to the hearts of His people. I want my Heavenly Father to be proud of me. At the end of the day, He's the one that's always with us, that never forsakes us, that sees all of our grumblings, that knows every thought that we've had but He also knows every hair we have on our head and the rate that our fingernails grow. He knows when our heart hurts. And he has the keys and all the things that we need to mend all of that and to make this world a better place. Jesus.
I need your help in sharing the love and the sunshine of Jesus.
This podcast is for the thirsty, it's for the truth seeker. It's for the one who longs for wisdom. It's for the heartbroken, for the beat down, for the remnant, for the discarded, for the marginalized, for the lonely, for the frustrated, for the free, for the sojourner, for the hopeful, it's for everybody. Everybody. Maybe you're stumbling on this and you have no idea what I'm talking about and that's okay too.
I’m just so excited to begin this journey, FINALLY with you. Now, who’s ready to go on a treasure hunt? God’s got ALL kinds of carrots waiting for us.
