Join me on my return to the Vibrant Mind Vibrant Life podcast!
In this episode, I'm peeling back the layers of my journey to give you a raw and honest look at what led me to take a step back from podcasting. It's been a period of introspection, growth and profound realisations.
Listen in as I unravel the internal struggles that plagued me, including the relentless pressure of 'shoulds' that drove my actions. I'll share how I confronted these expectations and the simple question that uncovered a deep-seated fear that I never knew existed and changed everything!
This pivotal realisation wasn't just a moment of clarity—it was a catalyst for profound change. It realigned me with my true self and reignited my passion for this podcast with a renewed sense of purpose.
Join me on my return to the Vibrant Mind Vibrant Life podcast!
In this episode, I'm peeling back the layers of my journey to give you a raw and honest look at what led me to take a step back from podcasting. It's been a period of introspection, growth and profound realisations.
Listen in as I unravel the internal struggles that plagued me, including the relentless pressure of 'shoulds' that drove my actions. I'll share how I confronted these expectations and the simple question that uncovered a deep-seated fear that I never knew existed and changed everything!
This pivotal realisation wasn't just a moment of clarity—it was a catalyst for profound change. It realigned me with my true self and reignited my passion for this podcast with a renewed sense of purpose.
Hello, and welcome to the Vibrant Mind Vibrant Life podcast. Now, for those of you who are new here, I'm Sian, your host and Internationally Certified Trainer of NLP, Timeline Therapy, Hypnotherapy, and Master Coach. So, all things mindset. And for those of you who already know me, and have been following me for a while, Welcome back! It's been a while. So, before I dive into today's episode and the podcast in general, I thought it'd be quite useful to give you a bit of an update. Like, Sian, where has the podcast been? Because I'd released episodes consistently for, I was on episode 778, something like that, and then just nothing. It just disappeared. Now I did. Keep you updated. If you're in my community and you receive emails from me or you follow me on social media, you may have seen an update. And of course, it was a single post. So that may have gone unnoticed or you may long have forgotten about it. So it'll be useful to share with you what's been going on, what happened to the podcast and what you can expect to happen from here on out. So, The last, probably eight months, I've been having some big, big breakthroughs. I've been doing a lot of the deeper work, diving into some of the shadow aspects of myself, which I'm happy to share more about if you want me to dive into that. Yet, through the process of the podcast, creating the podcast, which had been going on for about two years, posting on social media, making videos, going live, I'd started to see that I was getting results. And, whilst that was happening, there was something that was going on internally that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I was sitting at home, with my mic, as I am now, and just the very act of sitting down was bringing stuff up for me. I felt like there was this brick wall that had presented itself to me, and I wanted to understand what was that representing. Because I know that that brick wall was an internal one, there wasn't An actual physical brick wall in front of me. So, I did a bit of investigating. And I used everything in my toolkit to overcome the obstacle. The mental, the emotional. So, I was releasing negative emotions. I was getting rid of limiting beliefs. I was clearing up the internal conflicts. Realigning my values. I was doing all of this stuff. Yet, it didn't seem to matter what I did. I found that my desire to Deliver on the podcast to show up had gone it was no longer there I no longer felt compelled and when I did sit down I found that the words weren't coming to me I didn't know what to talk about. I'd my mind felt essentially kind of blank Now during that process, and a bit of investigation and digging a bit deeper, I realised that the podcast had been driven by shoulds. As in, I should do the podcast, I should put together another episode, I should put the posts out on social media. Now when it comes to the shoulds in life, whenever you think you should do something, it's usually an indication of a motivation to get away from something. It's like, I should do this to avoid the consequences of not doing it. So I sat with that and I asked myself, what would happen if I didn't do it? And, man oh man, I didn't realise the layers that I would be peeling back. So, as I started digging into that, and looking at my reasons behind my desire to not only do the podcast, but also the lack of desire, yet showing up anyway, I realised that I wasn't okay with not being seen. I had this need for the world to see me. Which came as a bit of a surprise at the time. Reflecting back now, it totally makes sense, which I'll, I'll dive into shortly. Yet, in that moment, it was a bit of a shock. I had been in this place where I was trying to force things. I was trying to force myself upon the world, rather than allowing the world to come to me. Then through the process, something came to light that I was completely unaware of. It was something that I'd almost buried so deep inside me, I'd ignored, I hadn't acknowledged whatsoever that I didn't even know it existed, until I did. And that was that I had a fear of abandonment. I was terrified of ending up alone, nobody knowing I existed, being by myself without anybody knowing or caring whether I was there or not. Now, the irony was that in doing that, I was actually abandoning myself, abandoning my, my true self, my true essence, what mattered to me, and I was feeling out of alignment. When I understood this, when I discovered this, things started to really fall into place. and make sense. uh, Growing up, I wanted to be an actress. And, through a series of events and limiting beliefs, which I can share with you another time, I kind of, I put that dream on the back burner. Because I wasn't good enough. It was never going to happen anyway. It wasn't until my mid twenties when I started picking it up again and putting myself out there and going for auditions. Then I discovered NLP, I started removing the blocks that had been keeping me stuck, and I started actually getting work. Work. Acting work started to come in and I didn't feel fulfilled in the way that I thought I would. I wasn't excited by it. On reflection now, I can see that acting was another example of me trying to fulfill that need of being seen. Which, it's never about the external, so no matter how much acting work I would have gotten, it's an inside job. The need to be seen has nothing to do with the outside circumstances fulfilling it. I had to be okay with not being seen. With knowing that if that happened, I'm still okay. I'll be all right. This is about releasing attachments to things, because when we're attached to things, when we need them to happen, when we're trying to force things to go in a certain way, it's an indication that there's something else going on. It's attempting to control circumstances within our limited perspective because needing things to be a certain way is discounting all of the other possibilities and all of the other ways that things can happen, which is down to us and our beliefs and our thinking and, and. A whole other kind of layers and layers of things that may be going on. So for me, it was about releasing that attachment, letting go of the past and any meaning that I had about it. Now, melting that resistance. I can tell you, it was so freeing. I'd been in a fight for so long that I didn't even know I was having. I was having a fight almost with myself. And that was taking so, so much energy. Now the funny thing is, when I detached myself from being seen, when I really got to the point that I'm okay with not being seen again, if nobody ever saw me again, I see me. And that's what was important. Things are all good. Then, as a consequence, of being okay with not being seen, suddenly things, opportunities, work, presented itself. Things that I had never seen before. Places in my mind, in myself, outside me. All these things that I had abandoned almost. Because here's the thing, the outside world is a reflection of the inside. So me not seeing myself, I wasn't then able to see what was right in front of my face, which were these opportunities. They were metaphorically, and sometimes physically and literally knocking on the door, and I didn't see them because I didn't see me. These previously unseen opportunities, these ways of doing things, Became conscious to me. I became aware of them. I Saw them for the first time. Now, that has evolved over the last few months, and there's been a lot of things going on behind the scenes, projects that I've been working on, that I haven't shared on social media, because I no longer feel the need to be seen. Now, I'm going to caveat that with, of course, social media, podcasts, everything has its place. They are a tool. It's not about Instagram. It's not about the TikToks. It's not about the YouTube. It's about the drive behind it and the energy. that you're using it with. And for me, it was an indication that there was some work to be done. My continuous posting was less about the strategy and more about what was going on internally for me. So, over the last few months, I've been doing all sorts. I've been running my NLP practitioner training, which has been amazing. I have shared a few things about that. Um, I've started the next cohort, which kicked off beginning of February. I've been running corporate trainings. So, delivering NLP practitioner to some large organizations. So they can implement it with their managers and in the workplace. I've also launched my NLP Diploma, which is an introduction for people who are maybe curious about NLP and want to dip their toe in the water before committing fully. Or maybe just want to get a bit of insight and some practical tools to start using straight away so you can understand yourself, understand other people, be able to communicate more effectively, start melting away that resistance, those blocks that coming up, set goals that are achievable and understand, if you're not achieving them, what might be going on. Now I've also started offering one to one training, uh, which is something that I would never have considered in the past, and I'll come on to that shortly. Now I have been feeling compelled to reignite the podcast for a while now. I kind of, I let myself sit with it before making any decisions until it was like, I've got to show up. I want to do this. There's things that I want to share. There's value that I want to share with you. The difference is the energy behind it this time. I'd become guilty of listening to so many outside influences, from Instagram, to podcasts, to masterclasses, and, like, there has been immense value in many of them. What I didn't realise I was doing is programming myself to think that this is the way that it has to be. I have to follow this road map, these five steps, that strategy. And if I'm honest, it was starting to suck the life out of me. It was starting to suck the joy out of what I was doing. And the problem that I found is everyone is kind of saying the same thing but in a different way. And that strategy, that way of doing things, wasn't necessarily aligning with what I actually wanted to do. It was bugging me in the way of, you know, where's the uniqueness in that? I wasn't following my gut, I wasn't following the inspiration, I was thinking, this person knows better than me, they're further down the line, they're more successful, therefore I should probably do what they say. And this is something that I've been working through myself, thinking, everybody else knows what's best for me, and they have the answer. Which, of course, was really about me. So if ever there's any self doubt present, if ever there's a belief that isn't supporting you in your goals and what you want to achieve and how you want to show up, and maybe you're finding yourself looking elsewhere to get the thing that you think it is that you don't have, that is information in and of itself that there's some inner work to do. I'd convinced myself that I had to appear, or that I should appear, there was another should going on, in a certain way. In the way that I believed others wanted me to be, or thought that I should be. Which again, was really all about me. So I'd repressed these parts of me that I thought were bad. Or, you know, I was judging myself for those very things. And almost kind of putting on to the outside world a persona, unintentionally, that I had everything together. I was denying any form of what you could call vulnerability. And when I reflected on it, the fear of being abandoned was all linked to this. Like, I have to do it all myself. I have to work it out myself. I don't need any help. I need to be independent. And without even realising it, I was then looking to everyone else outside of me for the answers. I'd repressed and denied that part of me that was vulnerable, that accepted that it's okay to ask for help, to not know what I'm doing, to not have the answers. Whilst unconsciously, I was seeking help and looking for acceptance from other people by following what they told me I should do. What was the, the best way to do things that they know is the way. So, that, all that being said, whilst the podcast is back, it may be once a week, it may be twice a week, it may be once a month, it may be an hours episode, it may be 20 minutes, it may be two minutes, what I can promise you is that however often or however long the podcast episode may be, it will be of value. And I'm going to be sharing with you from the heart, my own vulnerability, the things that I have overcome in the recent months and come out the other end. So I can share with you how I did that, what the process was, and maybe you'll gain some insight from that. So whilst the outside world may tell me that if you're going to do a podcast you should release it consistently on the same day, at the same time, every week, every month, whatever it might be. And yes, I can absolutely appreciate the reasons for that and I know that there is value to it I'm throwing out the rule book. Which kind of brings me back to my one to one training that I'm now offering people. So this is something that I have wanted to do for a while. I love working one on one with people. I've done it in a different, a couple of different contexts. Obviously, there's one to one coaching that I deliver, and I have trained for a, for a company, which was one to one. They had a single person that wanted to take a course, so I delivered it for them. They paid me appropriately, and I've also delivered timeline therapy one to one to people who are already accredited practitioners and want to add to their toolkit. And both times the feedback has been phenomenal, and I've enjoyed it in ways that are different to the group setting. So I do believe that group training, group coaching has its place, and that doesn't mean that one to one doesn't have a place. So whilst I'm sure most mentors, most coaches, most masterminds will tell me this is not the way to go, doing the one to one, it's not scalable, it takes up too much of my time, there's benefits to being in the group, I get all of that, and I want to deliver one to one. I feel called to do it. And there has been people that, since I told them that it was happening, have signed up for it because they want it as well. So this is another example of me listening to myself. It may not be that I do that forever. It's okay to change and adapt and as we evolve and grow as people or circumstances change, and we do, to Completely go 180 and say I'm just doing group programs or whatever it may be. Yet right now, in this moment, one to one is what I want to offer. So maybe there's something in your life where you feel called to do something from a place of wanting to do it, as in feeling compelled and drawn towards it, rather than wanting to avoid its opposite. So just consider that, you know, what, what is your purpose? What is your drive for doing the things that you do? And what I really want to know when it comes to this podcast. So there are things that I've got in mind that I want to share with you. And what I want to know is what is it that you want to hear about? What are the topics? What are the problems that you're coming up against? obviously relative to, to mindset, to emotions, to the unconscious mind, to those kind of things. You know, if you ask me to talk about, I don't know, how to paint a room effectively, probably not your lady. That's not what the podcast is about. But in, in the context of what it is that I do talk about and deliver, what are the things that you want to hear about? My training, my passion is in NLP, timeline therapy, hypnotherapy, coaching skills. These are the tools that I help to facilitate change, to help people to release the mental, the emotional blocks, baggage, stuff that we carry around so that you can change your current reality, feel good in the now, feel empowered, and also begin to change your future, to create a future that you actually desire. And these tools. They aren't the cure. They aren't the thing. Reprogramming your mind isn't about fixing yourself, because you're never broken in the first place. There's just things that maybe aren't working for you. NLP, Timeline Therapy, Hypnotherapy, it's a toolkit. And like any toolkit, You've got to use them to work. You know, if you could have a hammer. A hammer isn't going to build you a piece of furniture. You've got to actively knock in nails to wood to create the furniture, yet without the hammer it's going to make your job probably a bit harder. So, The tools that I have are here to help facilitate any change that it is that you desire and I can share the ways that I do that with you. So, all that being said, I think that's enough for one episode. I just wanted to let you know where I am, what I've been up to and what to expect with the podcast. And please, drop me a message. Come to Instagram, drop me a message and let me know what is it You wanna hear about what questions do you have and how can I best support you and bring value to the podcast in a way that's gonna serve you? So thank you so much for listening. It's an absolute pleasure to be back. I am excited for everything that's to come, and I'll catch you in the next episode.
