Revealing Your Patterns: A Path to Self-Awareness and Transformation
May 27, 2024Episode 90
Sian Hill
You’ve probably heard the saying, “We take ourselves with us wherever we go.”
But what does that actually mean? How can we spot what we're carrying with us and change what doesn’t serve us?
It's all about patterns—those sneaky habits and reactions that shape our everyday lives. Patterns are repetitive actions, reactions, and thoughts that show up in every area of our lives. Recognising these patterns is crucial because they influence everything we do.
In this episode, I’ll show you how to spot these patterns. They’re often predictable and repetitive, like autopilot responses you have in different situations.
I’ll share real-life examples of common patterns, like procrastination, avoidance, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. These aren’t just isolated issues, they affect multiple areas of your life, impacting you in more ways than you might think!
Once you recognise these patterns, you can start changing them. I’ll guide you on how to bring unconscious habits into conscious awareness and take steps to transform them.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “We take ourselves with us wherever we go.”
But what does that actually mean? How can we spot what we're carrying with us and change what doesn’t serve us?
It's all about patterns—those sneaky habits and reactions that shape our everyday lives. Patterns are repetitive actions, reactions, and thoughts that show up in every area of our lives. Recognising these patterns is crucial because they influence everything we do.
In this episode, I’ll show you how to spot these patterns. They’re often predictable and repetitive, like autopilot responses you have in different situations.
I’ll share real-life examples of common patterns, like procrastination, avoidance, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. These aren’t just isolated issues, they affect multiple areas of your life, impacting you in more ways than you might think!
Once you recognise these patterns, you can start changing them. I’ll guide you on how to bring unconscious habits into conscious awareness and take steps to transform them.
Hello, and welcome to the Vibrant Mind Vibrant Life podcast. Now, today's episode, it's a short one, yet it's a really powerful one if you take the time to use what you learn and understand yourself better in your own life. So I'm going to be talking about patterns. Now, you may have heard the saying that we take ourselves with us wherever we go, or what we do in one area of life, we do in all areas of life. Now a pattern is exactly that. It's something that we repeat. It could be actions that we repeat, reactions that we repeat, thought processes, things that we're doing over a period of time. It's our response to situations, to circumstances, to people, to events. And our patterns can be both conscious and unconscious. Recognizing them is key because they have an influence over everything that we do day to day. And when you understand what they are and begin to change them if they're not working for you, then that weaves itself into all the other areas of life as well. Let's begin then with how you can spot a pattern. They often are repetitive by nature, in that they are the things that we do time and time and time again. They're what you could call predictable. It's something that you do so often that you know that it's going to happen before you even get there. those automatic responses. So, even if you're not aware of the way that you are responding to people, you do it on autopilot. And you do it consistently in many different contexts, many situations. So it could be that the way that you respond to people in one context is exactly the way that you respond in another context, yet you have no connection to the two. And these patterns influence everything. They have an impact on how we feel, the thoughts that we have, and the action that we take. And these patterns can be formed in many ways. So many of the patterns are formed during childhood, during our early experience where we're a little unconscious sponge just absorbing the world around us. They can also be formed during what's known as the modeling period. So when we model other people, as we're growing up, we see people who have an influence over And we see them as role models. So we take on their characteristics, their beliefs, we adopt them as our own. We essentially copy them, and then that creates the patterns that we run today. Now the thing is that the more we do something, the more it reinforces itself. And the more we repeat something, the more our neural networks within our mind are being fired, and so they are wiring together time and time again, which makes that pattern even stronger. And the more we do something, the more unconscious it becomes. Think about it like driving. You know, the first time you're driving, you're using a lot of brain power, a lot of conscious effort to be able to drive the car. The more times you drive, the more times you repeat the process, the more you're able to do it without even thinking. Then you can carry out the pattern of driving. With very little processing power whatsoever, you just do it automatically. Patterns can also be created through our experience, particularly if we have events where there's a lot of emotion present, something significant that can create a response within the body. So let's go through then what some of these patterns are to maybe bring into your awareness what a pattern might actually look like and whether or not you can identify some of these within yourself. So I'm going to go through some examples with you and how they may play out. So procrastination. That could be a pattern that you run. It may be that you're delaying tasks. You're putting things off. You're kicking the can down the road, which maybe then leads to feeling stressed, like everything's a last minute rush. So, do you have an 11th hour kind of pattern going on? Patterns can also come out in the form of avoidance. So maybe steering clear of difficult situations. Responsibilities. Avoiding any conflict or confrontation. Maybe even leaning towards escapism in that moment. So looking for ways out, whether it's through watching TV, drinking, gambling, chopping, It could also come in the form of maybe avoiding things like health issues, avoiding meetings at work, putting off tasks until you absolutely have to do them, or the uncomfortable conversations. And that plays out in all areas, right? Because health, avoiding a health condition, maybe avoiding a doctor's appointment you've got to go to, or avoiding a work meeting, avoiding a conversation with your partner, avoiding paying your bills, whatever it might be, so you can begin to see how that pattern of avoiding things isn't just limited to one area. We may be consciously aware of our patterns in one area without even realising that they're spilling out into everything. Let me give you some different examples. So it could be that there's somebody who has a pattern of always being late, always missing deadlines, maybe not honoring commitments. It could be that they have a pattern of over committing and then they're not able to deliver. Or maybe. Making arrangements and then cancelling them. So whether it's a doctor's appointment, a hairdresser's appointment, a meeting with a friend, a meeting at work, a holiday, just making arrangements putting something in the diary only to then rearrange it. And remember that patterns have that predictability. So as I'm going through these, just think about it and take a moment to recognise, yeah, do I put stuff in my diary? Only to know that I'm probably going to reschedule. Some other patterns then. Now, this one is a common one. A pattern of putting responsibility or putting your power outside of you. for example, it could be that somebody joins the gym and says, that will make me work out. Or they buy vitamins, then I'll commit to being healthy. So, it's almost like a, when this, then that. When I buy this course, then I'll get clients. When I do whatever, then this will happen. So it's completely putting responsibility, putting power outside of you. And then, maybe a pattern of blaming others. So it's that pattern then of avoiding personal accountability. That pattern of accountability spills over into everything. Let me give you a really small yet tangible example to show you how that can spill out into everything. So, let's say the bins go out on a Tuesday, and the bin men usually arrive at 8 o'clock. So, you put your bin out at 7 o'clock on a Tuesday, knowing they'll come and collect it. Yet one Tuesday they arrive early and you haven't put your bin out yet. So in that moment you go into that pattern of blaming others. It's their fault for arriving early rather than taking accountability, taking responsibility and putting the power in your own hands. By putting your bin out the night before. Small example, yet that is exactly how patterns work. It could be that it's happening in the, the bigger scheme of things, the grander scheme of things, on a larger scale, yet it also happens in those smaller day to day things. It can also come in the form of maybe perfectionism. Setting really high standards for yourself. And then feeling overwhelmed, almost putting yourself into positions where you know that's inevitable, where things get on top of you, and you feel unable to deliver. So it's like an over promising, under delivering again. Maybe even doing things half heartedly, that could be a pattern, or stopping before you ever complete something. It's like, I start these projects and then I never complete them. So even when you're going into a new project, into a new venture, into a new hobby, into a new relationship, I don't know, anything, knowing full well that the likelihood is you're not going to see it through. Maybe going all in on it and then completely retreating, rejecting it. So it's like all or nothing, 100 percent or zero, hot or cold. It could also come in the form of people pleasing. Prioritizing other people's needs over your own well being. And maybe there's a pattern of being the martyr within that, being the victim. A pattern of saying yes to everything, even if you know it's going to lead to burnout and resentment. And again, this could be that somebody does that in work. Yes, I'll do the projects. I'll take on the new tasks, but then they also say yes to everything at home. I'll pick up the children. I'll do the cooking and that burnout is inevitable. There could also be patterns of control where no matter what situation you're in, whether it's the big project or the small day to day things of micromanaging, not allowing other people to support you, maybe it's overlooking the details, and then suffering because of it. And then falling into blame. You know, it could be that there's a pattern of just doing the bare minimum to get by. There's almost like no commitment to anything. And when you relate that to all areas of your life, it could be like, Yeah, I kind of signed up and said I was going to do this diet. And I kind of said I was going to start this business. And I kind of said this. And it's the same kind of energy behind all of them. So I hope that's given you an idea and a bit of awareness of some of the patterns that can play out and how they go across all contexts. So they're never limited to just one. Now it may be that you are aware of some of the patterns that you have, but you haven't realised how they're influencing all the other areas as, as well. So the first step to begin to change a pattern is first of all to become aware of it. And, hey, you may have patterns that really, really serve you. Patterns don't have to be negative. There can be patterns of behaviour, patterns of thoughts, actions that you take that are really supporting you in everything that you want to do. It's those unsupportive patterns that are the ones to bring into your awareness so that you can shift them. Now this could be as simple as at the end of the day, reflecting on your day, and checking in with yourself, you know, what, what did I do today? What action did I take? How did I feel? What were the thoughts that I had? How did I respond to people, to events? So bringing the unconscious into conscious awareness. could also ask yourself, what is it that I didn't do that I said I would? Cause it may be that that's the pattern. You know, I put things in the diary or say, I'm going to do something. And then I find every reason to not do it. Another great way is to ask other people. You'll ask them, what are the common themes, what are the patterns that you see in me? Because from the outside looking in, it can be really obvious. And maybe think about the people you know, and see if you can recognise some of the patterns that they run. And you can also use others as feedback. As in, what you see outside of you, what you see in others, that triggers you, that bothers you about them. Check in your life where you're maybe doing that same thing, but you haven't acknowledged it, or you don't like that Vect about yourself so you're denying it and then projecting it onto others. So use your world as a mirror. And of course, if you want to go deeper, if you want to have those patterns revealed to you even more quickly and make changes even more quickly, then you can work with a coach who's able to do that. that's something that I offer. So if that's something that you're interested in, then head to the show notes where you can find all the information or come and join me on the 12th of June, where I'm going to be holding an online breakthrough breathwork session, or get this. Only 10. Now this is, a one time offer, so you really want to get it while you can. No, you might be wondering, well, where does breathwork fit into all of this? Well, our minds and our bodies are connected. Every experience that we've ever had, every emotion we've ever felt, every belief we have, is not just stored in our mind, it's also stored in our body. It's stored in the cells within our body. breathwork is a really powerful way to tap into the body and use it as its own tool. Use it as its own medicine to release the things that have been stored in our cells. So when we have that energetic release, when we release the emotions that are buried in the body, that plays out in so many ways. It impacts the thoughts that we have. It impacts the way that we feel day to day. Our physiology has literally shifted, and our physiology, our thoughts, and our feelings are all linked. Things that have been stuck, metaphorically, which, you know, there may even be a pattern of feeling stuck and always finding yourself stuck, they can be released, without needing to know consciously with your mind, what it is that you're working through, you allow your body to do the work for you. So if you want to come join me, it's going to be amazing. I love breath work. drop me a message if you want to know more. There's also a link in the show notes that will tell you all about it and come on book your seat. I do only have a few seats left, so get it now while you can. And as always. Have an amazing week, I'll see you next time.
