026 - Pushing Boundaries and Discovering Personal Capabilities - with Sarah Apgar

Welcome back to De-Escalation Conversations, where we delve into the art of effective communication and leadership. In today's episode, we have the privilege of speaking with Sarah Apgar, the founder of Fit Fighter, a revolutionary strength solution for all ages.

Sarah's impressive background as an Iraq war veteran, former firefighter, and mother of two girls brings a unique perspective to our discussion on adaptability, setting expectations, and pushing personal boundaries.

Tune in as Sarah shares her journey of creating the steel hose, a groundbreaking training tool featured on ABC's Shark Tank, and how it has transformed the way firefighters and athletes train.

We'll also explore the importance of challenging ourselves in high-stakes environments and the impact it has on personal growth.

Plus, Sarah provides invaluable insights on effective leadership, transparent communication, and the power of gratitude.

So get ready for a compelling conversation on resilience, teamwork, and the limitless potential of the human spirit!

Sarah's Bio:
Sarah Apgar is the Founder of FitFighter, a strength solution for everyone ages 8-80! She originally designed her signature training tool, the Steelhose, which was featured in 2020 on ABC’s Shark Tank, to train firefighters better for the rigors of the job.
 
 Sarah is an Iraq War Veteran, All-American Collegiate Athlete, Fitness Professional, former Volunteer Firefighter, and mom of 2 little girls. In addition to her primetime Shark Tank debut, Sarah and FitFighter have been featured in Rolling Stone, Mens Health, Muscle and Fitness, ABC News, and Oxygen Magazine, and performed for clients the likes of ESPN, FDNY, and the United States Military.
 
 Sarah lives in Port Washington NY with her husband, Ben Smith, a plastic and reconstructive surgeon, her two young daughters, Emory and Arlyn, and their puppy "Louisiana".

Sarah on Shark Tank:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLwjb3Uh4t4

Sarah's Shark Tank Update Episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGncHJbWbXE

Website:
https://www.fitfighter.com

IDEA - the International De-Escalation Association, is dedicated to Saving Lives, Reputations, & Relationships through Conflict De-Escalation & Communication Training for Teachers, Parents, and Public Safety Providers.

Find more about
How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less
Come visit us at the IDEA website (International De-Escalation Association):
https://TheIdea.World

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Transcript

0:07

The reason that you wanna subscribe to that discipline and the training and the preparation and being aligned, the the mission alignment of you and your team is because then you have this extraordinary ability to adapt and to be flexible when the time and the moment requires that. And when you need to immediately you know, jump outside of of yourself and, you know, at a moment's notice, be very be be creative and be innovative and come up with solutions where you felt like there was an insurmountable problem. 41 Gotaway King avail. We need paramedics, code places. All available units will code that way. Welcome to the podcast. In this first segment, for today, we're talking about training. And I have an amazing lady. He with us. And I mean, lady with a capital l, Sarah Apgar. She's the founder of Fit Fighter, which is a strength solution for everyone ages 8 to 80. She originally designed her signature training tool, the steel hose, which was in 2020 on ABC's Shark King. So if she looks familiar, that's why you've seen her on TV. And she designed it to train firefighters better for the rigors of the job. And I have not just one, but I have, things heavy. I have two of them here that we're gonna be talking about her invention and and all sorts of sorts of things entrepreneurial and training related. Let me tell you a little bit about Sarah. She is an Iraq war veteran and all American collegiate athlete. She's a Fitness Pro. She's a a former firefighter. She's a mom, current mom of 2 little girls. And in addition to her tank debut, Sarah, and Fit Fighter have been featured in Rolling Stone Magazine, men's health, muscle, and fitness, ABC News, oxygen magazine and performed for clients the likes of ESPN, FDNY, and the United States military. Right now, Sarah's living in Port Washington, New York with her husband, Ben Smith, who is a plastic and reconstructive surgeon, and she has her 2 young daughters, Emory Ann Arlin, and a puppy named Louisiana, which I think is a cool name for a dog, just like a a classic military, name it after a state or a city. Right? So, Sarah, welcome. I'm so honored to have you here. Thank you so much. Likewise. So, Sarah, on this segment on training, you, being in the military, being a first responder with the fire department. And as a as a personal trainer in the fitness world, tell me about your invention, the steel hose. Tell me tell me how it came about. I mean, what what prompted this and what are the benefits it. So the beautiful thing about the steel hose is that all we were doing when this vision for came to me with solving simple problems. And what that meant is for me and my team, we were really struggling, especially as volunteer firefighters, that were not constant training in the skills and the requirements day in and day out all day the way some professional units would train We really struggled with a lot of the unique weight loaded demands of the fire ground, high pressure situations, the, you know, alarms in the middle of the night, and, you know, going from 0 to 60, all at once. And so I started to think about, well, what are some of the solutions that we can come up with to really trained better for the unique records of this job and even different from the military. Most of my military time, I was not masked under compressed air, you know, working in environment of low visibility. For a lot of, again, you know, even though I'd been in physically demanding environments, before. I hadn't been in ones that had these unique high pressures. And so one of the simple ways that I decided that we should start to train is using the lifeline of the fire ground, which is fire hose. We always had it lying around the truck bay. We needed to constantly train with hose, and yet number of times that we pulled fire hose off the trucks charged it with water, felt what that charged fire hose would feel like, and then actually moved around with it the way that we need to on the fire crown, one more advancing clothes line to put out fires, was very, very limited. And so the steel hose, as I started to fill it with kinds of sands and pebbles and grits to try to mimic the spiel of the charged hose became this beautiful tool to really train grip strength to start to help firefighters understand core stability to understand how to move weight around above the low in and around the body. and all of these skills that were not really given part of the technical skills training, but are actually the foundation for us to be successful in those movements. So I invented the first prototype of this deal who's in 2013 to solve that simple problem, start train on some of these really simple movement techniques. And that snowballed, and we realized how many different skills and how many types movements and applications that we could train with this even if they weren't directly related to the hose advance. You in in so I don't know if you know this about me, the the tomorrow's police officer community, has heard me talk about before, but I was also a firefighter for about 5 years in South Carolina, on a volunteer fire department. And like you say, going from 0 to 60, My the largest structure fire I was ever in, the dispatch pager went off at, 10 minutes after eleven at night. I just remember that because I was sitting in a drive through back when I ate junk food. I was sitting at the drive through getting food for me and my girlfriend. And I never I I didn't I say it didn't make it home. I wasn't home for about 6 hours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whole phones back then. so there's no way to let, hey, by the way, you're gonna go hungry. And, so that whole 0 to 60. And, the whole concept, and and he gave us a I always look for a takeaway in every segment, at least one And I think with you, there's gonna be multiple ones. You gave the takeaway already. So, folks, if you back up, hit that back button a couple of times to go back to when Sarah first started talking because what you said was critical, which is how, and I'm a paraphrase, how do you train for realistic conditions without being in those conditions to begin with? so you you do weight training, but you're not mask up working with an air pack on your back. You're not working with a charged host. And, you know, I look back at the the training I received in South Carolina was really good. Yet as we did our ladder training, We trained with hauling up equipment, pipe pulls, axes, breaching equipment. We and we would lock in on the ladder and then haul stuff up, and we practice that back and forth. But, you know, I don't remember, but more than once or twice that we trained with charged hoses and being on the ladder. And that large structure fire that I referenced, that's the first thing that happened. We rolled up and it was a story, it was it was a house. They had totally violated building codes. There was Twenty One rooms at the house. 21. And they were all mishmashed together. They just kept on adding on to this house. And the first thing that happened was we throw a ladder up. I go up to the Second Floor with a charged hose. They didn't wait to charge it when I was up there. I had to carry it up charge because it was just kind of a mess that night. And and so what you said is critical. And I love that you saw the need for that in training to be able to how do we mimic these conditions so that when we're in the actual emergency, we can operate well. Who does to you for doing that? Yeah. When that's translated to, you know, far beyond the fire service now, we think about actually some of the unique qualities that we realized about steel hose when I started to have personal trainers and sport specific coaches come to, you know, strength and and coaches come into our universe and say, well, you know, this would be terrific for training or, you know, having for rotational movements on the lacrosse field or on, you know, with a field hockey stick and having athletes who can mirror, you know, are not it on the left or the right because we need to mirror the strength that we have, you know, on both sides, even kickers, you know, working with that some of that hip mobility that we can do with the steel hose you know, all of these things we started to realize actually have, you know, the the same types of, of requirements that we had we were looking at firefighting skills, but, you know, unique to, in some cases, just everyday life. I mean, shoveling snow, you know, that there's an amazing statistic that There's 11,000 injuries, hospitalized injuries a year from people shoveling snow. Obviously, 99.5 percent of those are entirely preventable. If we're strong in our core stability, we're able to balance, so we're not flipping. We're not throwing out our back and herniating fist. These are all, you know, preventable musculoskeletal injuries. So when you start to to look at some of the research and data and think about, you know, the activities that we do and the way we train for them, you start to realize how much traction we can actually progress. We can actually make him being more prepared, more ready, stronger in the unique ways that we need to be for that activity. Yeah. And being born and raised in Michigan, I shoveled a lot of snow as a kid. The teenager. So I get that whole injury while you're shoveling the snow. You're if nothing else, just being sore afterwards. So -- Yeah. -- you love that that you can take this And not, you know, just by a a steady workout program, with something that's not complicated to use at all that still has so many applications like being out taking care of your driveway. That's awesome. So let me ask you this. one of the things that that on the on the training end of things, let's say somebody works for a law enforcement agency or a a fire academy and they go, look, we wanna we wanna You know, I'm I'm I'm running a fire academy and I see the benefit of each recruit in the academy having their own. So they carry it around. So they they get used to the weight and the feel of it, and and they have a piece of gear they're responsible for, and they they work out with it. And times of COVID, they don't have to keep cleaning it. even though you can clean this, they don't they don't have to because it's theirs. how do how do they learn to use it? Cause I didn't I wouldn't have thought of what motions can I make to help me get not injured shoveling snow. So, as they, how can they learn about the different exercises, and you have a bunch of them. I mean, you have a boatload of them. They're awesome. How do they get that information? Yeah. So for for starters, we like to have everybody start by just even accessing us on our, website when you go to our pro page, our fit better pro page on our website. We've got a great starter video before your skill has even arrived, this 27 minute video that gives you soup to nuts, the anatomy of steel hose, what's really unique about it, structure, the different grips you can use, the weight that you layer it on the body, it gives you just a taste of of the different routines, flow movements, and all the the 7 basic fundamental strength movements. So that's the place to start. Like, right now, you know, before you even have your steel hose so much great education about why we're addressing the fundamentals of strength. And then following on from that, you know, once you're once you're totally sold. And, you know, this is the sort of realized that, you know, Fitbiter is something that can be a part of anyone's life. then we actually have an entire library online at classes.fitbetter.com, where we have put together strength, power, conditioning, mobility, full body combination workouts ranging from 10 to 40 minutes. And these are all workouts that are going to address you know, those unique parts of your training. So, you know, we recommend our pros will recommend that you do 1 or 2 strength workouts. 1 or 2 conditioning workouts and then a couple of combination workouts. And these are we have just thousands of movements, 100 workouts on this platform that we've compiled over the past year. So it's a really robust library that I'm really proud at, you know, very low cost and with just the best, you know, world class pros that that, that we brought to the table, that we've, we can provide training, you know, give you a great strength tool and solution and then teach you how to use it. That's awesome because, you know, I teach a lot subjects, but I don't teach physical conditioning. And so you wouldn't want me teaching somebody how to use this. And and that happens a lot in smaller agencies I don't you know, whether it's a volunteer fire department or a small police department, a small EMS agency. A lot of times, they don't have a lot training dollars to and so calls on the in house people to kind of figure it out. You've got pros. You have professional trainers that they can access anywhere 24 hours a day to be able to show them how to use this, right? Absolutely. 20 fourseven. We've got this platform. You know, you sign in. It'll help you to to pick your favorites have those up top. And also, you know, great for if you actually work with, you know, if you do have one of the things I think about for the academies police units fire service that often these tactical environments do have, whether it's line officers or peer fit instructors or, you know, just even champions who really are, are helping the team along with strength and conditioning. You know, this great because we can help them to develop, again, those strength fundamentals. You know, they're gonna have a movement library of 150 movement at their disposal. They can also use that resource to create their own training programs if they do have some baseline level of, you know, strength and or a fitness certification. So that's the way we find our academies do a lot is they'll they'll have a few, you know, a few accounts with us where then that's a resource, and they can help to train the rest of the team if that's something they wanna do more at, like, a unit level. That's very cool. And and and the last thing before we close-up, this block is, so our gym, is fitness quest 10. And these hoses been personalized to fitness quest. So fitness quest was good enough to let me borrow this for for for a short period of time, so I could show our our viewers, the folks, and if you're listening to this on the podcast, I'm holding up a steel hose right now, but it it has the fitness quest 10 on it, like it's not gonna rub off. This is this is high quality stuff. So you're able to personalize it as well. Correct? Yeah. If we have a You know, if you have a high enough volume with an academy or a police unit, we're we're able to customize or personalize using unit logos, which is kind of fun. you a little sense of ownership there over the hoses. and so, yeah, that's that's something that's been really fun for the school units and gyms and training centers. That's cool. That's very cool. Well, listen, as we wrap up this block on training, I want to step back to that takeaway that we identified early on, which is the ability to mimic real life conditions in training where it's safe and yet you can get used to performing certain tasks. When you're in the executive state of mind. I'm adding in here a little bit. When you're in the executive state of mind, when your prefrontal cortex is is is is wrapped in where you're productive and your creative and you're really learning and setting into memory good training habits. That way when you're in the survival state and you're forming and you're falling back on your training, you're gonna just perform flawlessly because your mind and your body are used to doing these things under those emergency conditions. Sarah, thank you for that takeaway. We appreciate it. And as, we wrap up training. Is there anything that you'd like to add? No. I would say that I would return to to where I started, which is that, you know, Solta simple problems that are 10 feet in front of us, and this is a great way then to, you know, figure out how to move forward from there and, you know, doesn't have to always the complexity that creates the the most impactful solutions. Yeah. Brilliant advice. Brilliant advice. Sarah, in this segment, we're gonna be talking about leadership. And I tell you what, someone who takes a need like you did, which was for training under realistic conditions when you weren't having to be in those conditions. And you gave the example of of, I'm gonna paraphrase here, hauling charged hose around the fire ground while you're masked up wearing an air tank on your back with all the extra gear. And how do you how do you simulate How do you get ready for those emergency conditions? You you you took a problem and you came up with a great solution that ends up benefiting a lot of people. So kudos to you for doing that. And you truly were a leader in your field in in how, you know, I call it leader without a title. You know, you don't have to be a chief officer or a or a captain or an engineer to to to create and solve a problem. You you can be a line level fire fire, line level patrol officer, a line level gail deputy, private in in the military or, you know, at at at semen, semen recruit, and be solving these problems. So kudos to you for stepping up and taking the leadership to do that. With that kind of frame work. What do you see as you grow your business? transferable skills is is a big topic for me. What transferable skills can you look back and say, you know, as an Iraq war veteran, as a volunteer firefighter, as a mom, how these leadership skills that you learn in these different roles now as an entrepreneur, how do they how do they fit in? Yeah. It's interesting because I think that a lot of people see the military, the fire service and some of the tactical professional environments I've been in as ones where there's not a degree of flexibility or adaptability or creativity and think of it more as sort of a road environment where, you know, very prescriptive and highly disciplined. And those things are true, and I liked those qualities of those professional environments, but also what those environments teach you is that, you know, the reason that you wanna subscribe to that discipline and the training and the preparation and being aligned, the the mission alignment of you and your team is to has been, you have this extraordinary ability to adapt and to be flexible when the time and the moment requires that. And when you need to immediately, you know, jump outside of of yourself and, you know, at a moment's notice, be very be be creative and be innovative and come up with solutions where you felt like there was an insurmountable problem. And so I think that that that that type of those skills, I think, of, you know, of both of those things of creating just the right amount of structure for yourself, but then you're able to leverage your strength and to be adaptable and flexible when the time requires it, which is also gonna make us successful in in solving problems and, you know, getting, getting any kind of challenge to the finish line is is I think probably, you know, the number one thing that I always think about. And that also is revealing in terms of why, you know, people often say to me, you seem very so happy and not a personality I expect in the military. And I think to myself, that's so interesting because they never thought about it that way. I've always thought about it as like, wow, what a beautiful environment where there's a baseline structure and discipline. And then that that then enables and allows us to leverage the strength of the team. So that's number 1 And I think number 2 is the the expectations setting, which I think is foundation for any successful team to operate. So I always noticed in the corporate environment that we do this were were were much worse at setting expectations for each other and then having a clarity around those expectations than revisiting them if there's a problem where we have a challenge, you know, with our in our chain of command or in our team. And in the military, you know, you're you're always constantly setting expectations right up front. And then if those expectations aren't met, that's a conversation that is had immediately so you can reset and figure out, you know, what what the what the stemmer or the, you know, root of that issue was. And it allows for, again, this just a clarity that I think can get very, very muddy and, and varied and becomes kind of this you know, this sort of like flame that kind of festers, you know, for people in other settings. So I think that's a skill that's very highly vulnerable from, you know, throughout professional environments. And then just to just to to being a mom and being able to keep your calm and being able sort of bandaged through, you know, those tantrums and those challenging situations. Let's say those are the the top 2 when comes to leadership that right away in the military that I was grateful to learn, and I think have been constant threats throughout my a career. Yeah. And both of those are amazing points. They're just so, so on target. You know, I I you I don't wanna take that expectations thing because I've I've said for almost my entire military and law enforcement career. People will rise to the level that you set the bar at. And if that are as set low, they'll rise to that level or drop down to that level. They're they're, you know, they're gonna set the bar high. It's amazing that poor performers who, you know, they were down here. You set that bar high. You raised that bar, all of a sudden they're coming up to it. When you let them know that the bar has been raised or where the bar is set at, I mean, you know, the sports analogy that I've used too is when, a pole vaulter. If a pole vaulter did not know if if they were coming around a corner blind and finding out at the last second or after they launched up, oh, that bar set at 12 feet instead of 17, you know, it changes completely their approach. And if they don't know it's set at 17, they think it's at 12, they're gonna miss it and the coach is gonna yell, I'm, oh, why didn't you get over that part? I didn't know it said 17 feet. And it's human nature. show. Did you see that in the in in in the military, in the fire service, and and even shooting with your kids? Yeah. I I love the notion that we one of the things I often say that feels really related to that point is that we have no idea. The large majority of us have no idea where our our limits and our boundaries really are because we've never come close to achieving them. And I do believe that I do think that we've from a when it when we talk out from a physical standpoint, from a, you know, from a mental and a sort of grit standpoint, from a leadership standpoint, team standpoint. I think there's so many ways in which we don't push the envelope because we've we have become accustomed to comforts that I think that, you know, make us you know, they when we're cozy and comfy and happy, we're not always, I think, forced to kind of step out of those boundaries. And some, some people are. Some people are naturally inclined. They wake up in the morning, and their day is gonna be just, like, filled with challenge, and they have this sort of in personal pilot light that's constantly burning and, you know, and and growing. And but I think, you know, and and that's not I don't think the fault of of any one person. You know, I think this is just sort of the way that we've, we've, evolved and, and adapted and the way we sort of carved out our lifestyles. And so I think that I totally agree with you. I think that people have no idea. People rise to expectations. And if you've ever been one of the things I think about in terms of really being confident about that is experiences I've had as a, you know, terrier as a triathlete where I really was, like, physically, like, at the end of my rope. Like, thought I was just gonna, like, pass out and, like, never wake You know? And you and when you've been, like, pushed to those extremes, then you you realize you did push a limit and you she passed it and you survived. And then you have this beautiful feeling. Actually, I'm, like, getting goosebumps while I talk about it because I can it's so vivid, you know, in my mind. And so I think about, so vivid in the military, some of my training where, you know, you'd be on your you're you're, like, 36 hour without sleep and you're sort of borderline who's, you know, hallucinating and it's raining and you're wet and you're supposed to sleep on a concrete floor. And you sort of think to yourself, like, gonna die before I ever get through this night. Yeah. It's like and then you and then you do. You survive it. So even from the very sort of baseline physical standpoint, you realize that your body's capable of extraordinary things. The second thing I think about is, a when I did my most recent half iron man, and I remember thinking to myself, and it was the first time I had done a half iron man, I'm not really I don't think of myself as a long endurance athlete, but I do enjoy, you know, just about any athletic challenge. And I remember thinking in, gosh, mile mile, you know, something like mile 35 of this bike ride along the Texas, you know, outbound in Austin, Texas. as flat as a pancake. Unasphalt, you know, mile 35. I'm, like, out of water, so about 21 miles to go. And I remember thinking that same thing. Like, man, I'm just toast. Like, I don't know if I'm gonna make it. Like, I don't know if I'm just gonna flat out if my legs are gonna stop moving. And then you just, you know, somehow, like, you sort of push through, you dig to that deeper level. And I think that those those raw physical mental, you know, experiences that we have in certain professional environments and athletic environments really can translate to things that are less less physical. Right? Times when you feel mentally, like you're, you're, you're, you're sort of done, you're finished, or you're, or you've been just challenged to the brim and, or you're scared, are filled with fear, you know, and are you ever gonna get past that and and some of these feelings of, like, deep despair? And so I I think that that's right. I think that I think that we should create especially in environments where there's really high stakes. You know, I think that creating experiences where we can be challenged in ways that push our envelopes extremely important, and it's up to the leader to do that and ask that of people. And sometimes you might push them over the edge, and it's not always a 100 a, you know, successful course people end up getting broken down, but I think that's really important. And so I love that point that you raised Thank you. And and as we close-up this block on leadership, I'm I'm reminded, Hannah, I'm I cannot think his name, and I'll put it in the show notes, because he's he's amazing guy. He's former Navy Seal. And one of the things that he points out is when you're done. When you think you've got nothing left, you've got 40% more. 40% more. And you're capable far more. I mean, look look at the stories that the rescue stories of the mom lifting the minivan off the kid stuff like that. You've got 40% more than you even and and maybe even more, but you had a bare minimum. You got 40% bring this out because as a leader, you need to be able to inspire people to tap into that for percent. When they think they're done being able to get them over that hump into that extra 40% because that is your job as a leader, and you're never gonna be able to get that performance out of people, that extra bit that, you know, for a cop who's injured, who's gonna go, I'm, you know, developing that will to live. I am not going to die here in this alley killed by some parole. I will not have this happen. That's tap into that extra 40%. Yeah. You're never gonna be able to get get there by berating people and belittling them and micromanage them. Leading them, you will. So great takeaways for this section, Sarah. Thank you so much for your take on the leadership. because you truly are, a leader in so many different ways. And, and, and I want to thank you for being here. Today, we are here with an amazing lady, Sarah appgar from fit fighter, and the website is fit fighter.com. She's an inventor of this amazing product, the steel hose, and it's, you know, as as a cop, I came on about the time that leather saps were going away. This it feels like a leather sap to me. I was I was I was joking with Diane that maybe carry this little five pound one in the car. You make a two and a half pound one? We don't yet, but maybe we will. I'll put it in special order and just yeah. I'll be happy to oblige. So but but seriously as we, as we dive into communication, as we dive into this top when you think about your experience in the military, when you think about being a first responder on the fire department, as you think about being a mom and and a wife, your husband, he's a plastic and reconstructive surgeon. So I know that Ben is is is gotta be in great demand. And so you're balancing a business life. You're balancing the mom life. You're balancing the marriage. All these all these moving parts What do you use in the area of communication that other people can learn from? It's so, you know, I never realized how much I was going to benefit from what I try to impart on is that I'm constantly saying thanks to them that I find myself hours later, turning around to thinking you know, at the back of my eyes from pulling out pulling from my the the sort of, like, you know, front of my head, my little bank there, for some kind of difficult DeEscalation, you know, during the business day or, you know, or working with a team member on a challenging problem. And so, you know, and that sort of things, you know, about them. I'm often talking to them about patients, explaining to them what it means to be patient. and not just the definition, but what that feels like to be patient and the tone of voice that you use with someone if you're being patient with another person or the way that you breathe when you need to have patients with DeEscalation or problem. And I'm I'm literally saying things to them and thinking to myself, like, okay, remember this whole day or 2 hours when, you know, kind of things are hitting the band at work or, in my entrepreneurial life. And so it's amazing to me. Same with, I'm I'm sure that anyone who is in a partnership of any kind feels the same way. You know, you you find you're so realizing that really this is just the human connection has some principles to it that are so fundamental and foundational to our success with each other, you know, engaging with each other, working as teams. They even call my little girls. I call us, like, a family team, and then I think about my work team. I'm I'm all about teams, as you know, from reading all of my, what I write and think about. And, and so I think that everything boils down to some basic principles around communication that are shared across every aspect for a life. You you have a quote that I wanna tap into. When you hit rock bottom, you say congratulations. What an opportunity to move up? And I I know you got that from your coach. And at the same time, you really embody that. And and when you think about it, when you're when you're hitting a hard point in life. And and, you know, the the reality is that we've gone through the last 15 months the pandemic, and we're just starting to see light at the end of the tunnel now with things opening up at least out here in Cal California, the shift, the mindset shift of, yes, opportunity to move up. we're at rock bottom here. How do you how do you communicate that lesson to your team at work and your your husband and your daughters? How how does that communication of that mindset happen? Yeah. That's, man. It's so much to unpack on that one and to verbalize it as hard, but I'll think about a couple of a couple of points that really link our guide post with that. So number 1, I think, is the recognition of the, of state and the trans currency around what you feel, where you are and what that makes you feel. And that's something that, you know, with small startup team when we're in our challenging, you know, most challenging times financially constrained, you know, cash flow constrained, going through a roller coaster during the pandemic, you know, pre pandemic, one strategy during the pandemic, having another business strategy post pandemic, you know, resetting again, as we continue to to sort of, you know, steer the ship. And so I think about, you know, I've actually had team members ask me, you know, seek me that transparency and to say, like, can we, can we sort of talk about where we are? Like, we generally know we have access to, right, every the first five employees of the tend to have access to most of the company's information because they're tapping into it all the time. They're needing to run systems and operations. They have their hands and everything. so they sort of know the the practical facts, but they're like, let's, you know, can we talk about this? Can we kind of like level up? then just, you know, that way we can then get through things together. And I think about that when I think about with my daughters too, you know, acknowledging like, what they feel. Like, I understand how that makes you feel. It makes sense to me that you feel that way. And let's talk about how we could think about, you know, start thinking about something different. You know, let's talk about how we can, you know, start to start to turn the corner. So I think there's a really important acknowledgement and transparency around when you are hitting that state that then allows you to springboard back from it. And because your feet are planted firmly there for a moment, and then, you know, you have nowhere to go, but but sort of pivot. So I think that's the that's the first principle I would think about. And then the second one is, which is related is this idea that you you have to start being able training yourself to envision a different state. So to envision where you're going before you get there. And that's like a really simple idea that has totally profound implications, and I wouldn't say that I've nailed this one on the head at all when so ever. I'm actively working on this constantly because I wanna constantly be envisioning when Fitbit Fighter is that $1,000,000,000 company. And I wanna envision what that is to be the leader, what that feels like to be the leader of that company, how I make decisions, how I feel when I wake up in the morning, you know, versus charging through the as an early stage startup that, you know, had to pivot a couple times in the early stage of the company. And we've raised funds and, you know, we're we're sort of trudging through the mud and growing the company. And so I'm constantly every day working on that, like, been, you know, coming on your show and sort of thinking through some of my advice for leaders, and you always are having, like, a bit of a checkup on your confidence because you're like, well, am I worthy to even be talk about some of these topics, right, like, because I'm in in in sort of this place with my business where I do have, constantly sort of questioning that having those sort of self doubt and questions about your confidence. And so but then you realize, of course, you know, there's 20 years of professional history and great learning to share. there's massive potential and huge runway in front of us and lots of ways in which we can get there. and, you know, keep tacking and leaning on the team and the great advisors we have and supporters. And so there's all the reasons in the world to be a 100% confident and where you're headed. But when you're not there yet, it's hard to assume that posture. And so I think that's the 2nd big idea that that, again, just like permeates through all the things we do, all the relationships we have, you know, being able to to step outside of the moment and realize that any one single tiny moment is just not as consequential as we that it is. You know? there's no moment in time that that in the end is has the consequence, like, the the weight of consequence and the burden of consequence that we feel at that very moment. There's a bigger contextual, you know, sort of environment for, like, universe for every one of those moments. So those are some of the things I think about that I'm constantly working on, and I love to impart so that others can sort of, like, you know, wrangle with those things too and and realize that that's a that's a worthy cause to be struggling through that. Yeah. And I I I wanna step back because you just offered so many gold nuggets out of that. I think one of the one of the key takeaways for this segment is that when when people not sure of their future, of their environment. They're they're starting to or are fully in that that survival state. When they're shifted into that survival state, that fear has kicked in, that anxiety has kicked in, and in in you you begin to lose your creativity, you begin to lose your problem solving ability, and you you you literally start to shell up in self protection. And so I picture your employees, your team members coming to you going, Hey, where we're at. How's it looking? And then, of course, you're looking ideally for best news possible in the reassurance. What they're looking for also is the ability to say some of these things. I'm not sure. I'm not sure what's gonna happen here. we're struggling here. We're succeeding here. This is where I see us going. And what that helps them do a shift out of that survival state into the executive state where they are able to be, productive and creative and get good problems been going and and to perform better. communication, that honest communication, because All of us have BS meters that are really sensitive as mom, your BS meter is really sensitive when it comes to your girls. because you're protective of them. And so to be able to communicate honestly is sometimes it's a challenge for because you want to be able to provide answers, and yet you don't always have the answers to be able to provide. And it's sometimes uncomfortable to I don't know about this part, but that honest forthright communication is really, really critical for people to be able to get through things. And and and the last thing I want to say on this is, you know, it has always struck me that, you ever watch that show, fear factor? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. So at the end of the show, and they had a really big challenge. And it was almost all a timed challenge. You had to do something, and it was like, you know, hold your breath the longest underwater or or be able to perform the fastest. Almost without the last person to go would win because they knew the time they had to be. If you're holding your breath underwater and you go first, you're just you hold as long as you think you can. You don't tap into that 40% that I mentioned in the in the leadership episode. So if you haven't listened to the leadership episode, and listen about the 40% thing. But when we started the pandemic, when we were 2, 3 months into it, nobody knew where this was gonna go. it it was really fearful. Now today, we can look back and go, okay. Well, it was about 15 months. And it didn't turn out to be for a lot of people. A lot of people didn't turn out to be as bad as they thought it was gonna be. For some people, it was worse than the thought it would be. But we now know pretty much what that story was. The unknown has the biggest fear coming at us. That's what totally puts us in survival state when we don't know. So your point about communicating with your team, communicate with your daughters, communicating with your husband. It's really critical because then people know where they stand, and they they don't have as much fear and they're able to shift into that executive state. That's a great. That's a, yeah, it's a really interesting translation of that, what I described in some of those more, sort of the physiological, you know, elements too, which is super interesting. Well, I wanna thank you for being with us. Thank you for talking about communication, bringing in, and and the last thing I want to say before we wrap up, you know, it's funny because you were talking about, you know, are you the right person to talk about leader and communication train? Do I have enough? Do I have enough? You, to me, my point of view, was I absolutely wanted your point of view on these things. And I wanted it because I see you filling these roles in the military and the fire department, as a mom, as an entrepreneur, as a fitness pro, I look at all of the things you've accomplished. And inherently, I know that you're totally the type of person that's be able to give Dean is this. You are so humble that you went through a, should I do this? Questiony. And what I love is you had the self esteem, which gives you the self to step up and deliver in the way I knew you totally could. And I want to thank you because as you talked about that and you were vulnerable about how you felt about that. I believe the vast majority of people go through that same kind of thought process, especially if you're being promoted from firefighter to an engineer or, engineer to a captain, if you're if you're, becoming a new detective or a new sergeant, you can go through that. am I gonna be able to fill this role? And you you talked through exactly, and I think that self communication, is is really important So thanks for being vulnerable. Thanks for explaining that you went through this thought process because you're gonna there's a lot of people out there that are gonna go it happens me all the time. That's great. Yeah. The only one. So -- Yeah. -- that, Sarah. Thank you for taking the time to be with us today. Yeah. Thank you. I I really appreciate it and genuinely enjoyed being with you. Same here. So for for people that are looking to pick up steel hose, which oh, man. I just love to say I got this one. I got I got this 15 pounder. It is it's got our gym name on been been been customized for our GM. I'm here too, of course. Awesome. And -- The only phone without it. but don't leave home without a self protection advice too. And what is you have all the online resources to help people go okay, I'm not a firefighter, but I'm out there shoveling snow, and this can actually benefit, well, I'm not shoveling snow anytime soon. It's the middle of summer, but I I can keep from getting a an injury when I'm shoveling snow just by using steel hose. So let our listeners know how they can keep in touch with you. Yeah. So we can the best way is to kick it off at fitbetter.com because then we can get skill hoses into homes and hands. And we can also be found, and and then you'll be able to see the link to our classes page. So just check it out and peruse a little bit, you know, what we're offering. And, and then also if you're into, if you have social media and you love to use that follow it, we have a lot of product edge situation. patient around the fundamentals of strength training. And so that's a great one too if you're interested in just, even starting to learn from our team. And then, of course, if you're more of a Facebook person, you can find us at Fit Better Training on Facebook as well. So there's lots of and then if you're interested in the business side, you know, I do actually write about leadership and communication. I have, 4 articles that are posted on LinkedIn that are actually very relevant to the topics talked about today. So if you wanna find me at Sarah Appcar at LinkedIn, I've been including some of these great that we've had in in some bite sized topics there too. So, for everybody to to come follow along and reach out and ask questions, engage with me, and I would love that. Terrific. And if you're driving, don't try and any of this stuff down. Just keep on driving, keep on trucking down the road, and all of the links to be able to get a hold of Sarah will be in the show notes. So Again, Sarah, thanks for being here on the show. I hope you found a lot of great value in this episode of the DeEscalation conversations podcast. please be sure to go to our website, the idea dotworld.world On that website, just click on the link that resonates with you most if you're a k through 12 educator, if you're a firefighter, medical services, law enforcement, flight attendants, whatever industry you're in, we have specialized training for you. So check that training out because, literally, it can save your life. It can save your relationship. It can save your career. So check out the idea dot world, and I look forward to seeing you soon. Take care.