032 - The Impact of Legacy: Craft Your Legacy and Lead a Meaningful Life - With Gagan Gupta

🎙️ Exciting News! 🎉 

 I had the honor of hosting Gagan Gupta, a powerhouse of personal development and leadership, on this episode of De-Escalation Conversations. We dove deep into empowering senior executives, conscious business leaders, and professionals to unlock their full potential in a rapidly transforming world. 🌍 

 Here are 3 key takeaways from my conversation with Gagan Gupta: 

 1️⃣ Disconnect from your roles and find inner peace: Gagan highlighted the importance of detaching ourselves from our titles, jobs, and material possessions. By identifying ourselves with our surroundings, we limit our ability to experience true joy, peace, and love. Remember, the ultimate desire of every person is to have more joy, peace, and love in their lives. 🌟 

 2️⃣ Harness the power of intentional dreaming: Both Gagan and I believe in the power of intentional dreaming to manifest positive outcomes in our lives. By requesting specific solutions and outcomes from the universe, we can shape our dreams to avoid unwanted topics and work towards our goals. Understanding and applying this concept for 21 days can bring a sense of power and effectiveness. 💭 

 3️⃣ Crafting your legacy:We discussed an intriguing perspective on obituaries. We want you to know the importance of writing your own obituary to guide your life and leave behind a meaningful legacy. Don't let others define your story, decide on your desired impact and legacy. After all, if you don't write your obituary, someone else will. 📜 

 I was truly inspired by Gagan's wisdom and the tools he provided to elevate our personal and professional lives. Don't miss out on this insightful episode, available now on De-Escalation Conversations. Tune in to gain valuable insights and unleash your potential! 🔊

Keep in touch with Gagan Gupta at:  Fast Track Your Career.com.au

 #Podcast #LeadershipDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #LegacyBuilding #IntentionalDreaming #DeEscalationConversations 

 [00:00:56] Deescalation Conversations podcast: meet Gagan Gupta. 

 [00:09:42] Safety net crucial in unexpected career changes. 

 [00:14:10] Legacy matters; ask yourself who you are. 

 [00:18:21] Group grew, friend brought staff, universe aligned. 

 [00:26:31] Tractor beam, tools, list, gratitude, dark thoughts. 

 [00:27:47] Gratitude, giving, and counterintuitive perspectives, explained. 

 [00:36:02] Trying to do too much leads to frustration. 

 [00:42:49] Disconnect from roles, find joy, sleep better. 

 [00:44:29] Requesting universe solutions, intentional dreaming for success. 

 [00:52:09] Coaching for impact: 10,000 business leaders. 

 [00:56:43] Obituary: Humility, listener, calmness, legacy in control. 

 [01:00:38] Check out The Idea World for valuable content. 

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Transcript

0:07

Playing, role playing through conversations. Oh, if they say this, I'm going to say that. If they do this, I'm going to do that. And then none of it comes to pass. And it was a complete waste of time running those potential conflicts and conversations through. But when you're fully present, that's when you're at your best. You're not in the past living with regret, you're not in the future living in fear. You're fully present. San Diego nine one emergency. You need to come right away. There's a man with a gun and it's loaded. Receiving emergency signal from people. George 1141. Got a white female down. We need paramedics code for you. All available units, roll code that way. Welcome to the Deescalation Conversations podcast. With me today is a friend of mine who, quite frankly, I've never met him in person. We've only talked on Zoom. But I've known him for gosh, a couple of years now and I love spending time with him. I see him probably a couple of times a week, and every time that I see him, I get at least one nugget of wisdom from him, which isn't bad for somebody who lives in Australia and I'm on the opposite side of the world. Gagan Gupta his mission is to empower 10,000 senior executives, professionals and conscious business leaders to achieve their full potential in a world of 360 degree transformations. And I'm going to have him explain what he means by that in just a few minutes. His journey from the brink of suicide to becoming a guiding light for conscious leaders and senior managers is a story in itself. With unwavering courage and adding in a unique blend of spirituality, Guggen helps others break free from the clutches of impostor syndrome and embrace a life filled with abundance, high self worth, and a revitalized mindset. Now his website fasttrackyourcareer.com. Au, remember I told you is in Australia? So it's not just it's com. Au has a really awesome statistic on it. And to begin this episode in just a moment, I'm going to ask you about your success on helping people break free from addictions and in following through on goals and focusing on whatever it is that they want to focus on. But first, before we do that, I want to say to our listeners, some of you might be thinking, well, wait a second. I'm a K through twelve, school teacher. I'm a first responder. What's this guy got that I need to spend time listening to this podcast for? Folks? Trust me on this. Goggin has helped me personally in so many different ways that I hadn't even thought of that he could help me that if you give us just this next half hour, 45 minutes, I assure you your time is going to be well spent and you're going to be walking away probably with several nuggets of wisdom. So, Guggen, welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm very happy to be here. Kerry well, I know it's early in Australia, even though it's the afternoon in the US right now as we're recording this. And thanks for getting up super early to be with us and adjusting your schedule to be able to meet up with our time zone here. So I want to talk to you about this success rate I'm breaking from addictions, following through on goals, and helping people concentrate on whatever it is that they want to concentrate on. What is your success rate? So far? I'd say it's above 95%. So I help people with whatever it is they need help with. So, as my website would tell you, I work with senior executives. If you're a Gmvp or a conscious business leader, whether you want to launch your business or scale your business or you want to have a side income or you want to get a promotion or navigate office politics, whatever. It is you want to do, or you have an addiction, whether it's porn or smoking or whatever it is, if it's an addiction, or if you want to earn more money, or if you want to form a new habit or start a new business my success rate so far with my existing clientele, from what they tell me, was close to 100%. So I'd say about 95%, 95% plus. Which is pretty amazing, because when you look at just addiction recovery statistics in general, they're in the low, low double digits. When I say low, I'm talking like barely double digits. And a lot of times below that number, I'm talking less than 10%, maybe ten to 15 at the high end, and you're up above 95%. And I know with me, you have helped me in several different areas in achieving goals that I set that I didn't think I would be able to set. So would you be willing to share, like, one or two secrets about how you did that? Sure. And I'll also answer a question you asked earlier about 360 transformation. So here's an example. Last year, when I got laid off after 21 years of successful corporate career, out of which the last decade was a senior executive, I took it so personally that I became so emotional and suicidal that I didn't know how to make sense of what was happening to me. And after four months of depression, anxiety pills, suicidal attempts, I realized this is nowhere to live. And here's an example of 360 degree transformation. I had nine months of no income because I used to think that money is the problem. Now, here's how one sentence can change you from A to B or cause that 360 transformation. You ready? I'm ready. Money is not the problem. Lack of ideas to generate money is the problem. I've gone live on shows, I've had groups, I've had clients, where in less than ten minutes, I've given them ideas to start something brand new that can be profitable in less than three months. Now, money wasn't the problem because we didn't have any. It's the ideas. So money is never the problem. It's the lack of ideas. And my testimonial on LinkedIn and my website is full of examples like that. My recent client and this is what my clients tell me, right? So this is not me saying my recent client was laid off, no job, two kids, and she thought money was a problem. Six months later, she's launched two businesses. Not one, two businesses. And she's now getting clients. That's pretty cool. So I have two things to add into that. One of them is one of the reasons that I have people like you and Torn Minutello and Sam. Tornatore those guys. You can look up prior episodes with those guys. Torn and Sam. Just look for Torn and Sam. There's no other Torns and Sam's in our playlist. The reason I have people like you and Torrin and Sam on is exactly what I went through. When I was on the job as a police officer for 30 years, I would work as much overtime as possible. And when I was raising three kids, I was teaching. I've been a professor at the college here in San Diego since 1996. I do that more out of love, but I was trying to get extra classes. I would work overtime details like movie details or football games or baseball game, whatever. The overtime assignment was to earn extra money. And the problem with first year firefighters working extra shifts, and so instead of working a 24 hours shift, they're now doing a 48 or a 96. And the problem with that is when first responders are doing that in particular, there's some dynamics that happen. First is you are more fatigued, which means you're not as safe. Second of all, you're already in dangerous occupations. And the more time you're out on the street means you are exponentially more at danger. Not just because the extra hours on the street, but add in, again, not one plus one, but exponential that fatigue. And so is there something that you can do to make extra money that does not involve you doing a first responder job? The other benefit to that approach is you have a safety net. I started to say exit plan. Sometimes it's an exit plan as well. But if something happens to you where you can no longer be in that career that you're in right now, you need to have a safety net. I remember there was a police officer that I worked around. His name was Craig, and he got into a use of force situation. The chief of police decided to make him an example, and he fired him. And between the time the use of force and the time he got terminated was a really short amount of time, it wasn't a drawn out process where he could start making plans. It was bam. Well, and he did things like he was a tow truck driver, he got his EMT certification, was working on an ambulance, all of which are relatively low paying jobs compared to being a police officer. He had no safety plan. He didn't do anything else. I've known officers have gotten badly injured, could not be a law enforcement officer anymore because of their injuries. They were medically retired. And they're like, well, yeah, great, I got 50% of my salary, but I'm a relatively new police officer, and 50% isn't that much. And now what do I do? I only know how to be a cop. So all of this stuff fits in. Listeners, this is why I'm bringing this up. I want to point this out to you. So it's right here in front of mind for you. Now, there was something else I wanted to ask. So we've got this oh, I know what it was. The second thing was it just happened yesterday. So you have a mastermind that I'm a part of, and it meets every two weeks, and you got amazing people from like, all over the world who jump in. And I saw a message. One of the ladies that was involved in this group had this huge epiphany yesterday, and she was thanking everybody for it because she's looking at trying to generate some money. She's got these two websites that she is now, after yesterday's meeting, just an hour long, she has her entire business plan for two different businesses ready to launch almost immediately, and she knows exactly what she needs to do to do it. So while she's working on her main passion, her main mission, she's got these two other things that are going to be generating revenue and extra money for her to support her while she works on her primary goal. That's the sort of stuff that you do for people, man. I always ask people, how do you make the world a better place? My favorite question to ask when I'm just meeting somebody new, how do you make the world a better place? What do you do? And that's just one of a couple ways that you do, Doug, and make the world a better place. And I want to just honor you for that. So back to the addictions and goals and what do you want to work on type question. So you said a lot of things there. First of all, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart because it's very kind of you. And is it okay if I touch on a few of them and also answer the question you just asked? Hey, you're the guest. You are. Make yourself comfortable, rearrange the furniture, whatever you want to do. All right, the first thing I would say is a powerful question to ask yourself is what is your legacy? Let's hold for the just I want to pause for that a moment. I want to let that be able to sink in with people, because I want to circle back to that, but I just want that to say that one more time. Yeah. What is your legacy? Wow. Yeah. What do I want my legacy to be? That's powerful question, because everybody, whether you're a school teacher or a first responder or just a human being on this planet, what's your purpose in life? Everybody that I've ever talked to, they want to make a difference. They want to have some purpose. They don't want to leave this planet and have no one ever not think of them, have no memory that they ever existed. That's such a powerful question to ask. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Kerry a lot of people don't actually do that. They don't have the time to write down because they're so caught up in the day to day activity. Kids, school, basketball, work, come home, dinner, TV, sleep. There is time for legacy. But if you do take time for legacy, if you do, ask yourself, hey, who am I meant to be? And now we're getting into strategies because I do want to give your viewers and audiences some actionable proven, bulletproof strategies that are working for my clients on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. And the first thing you could do very easily is take a piece of paper, draw a line in the middle of the page, cut it in half not literally with a pen on the left hand side. Write down, what do you love? What are the five things that are top most important things in your life that are important to you? What do you love doing? What lights you up and why? And just this single exercise alone is very powerful. Then you circle the top two out of those activities you've just written, Kerry, and you bring it to the right hand side of the page. Now, this is so simple, and gurus like Brian Tracy have actually advocated this one technique so much. It's so powerful that Brian Tracy goes to the length to say, if you did that one thing, you'd be a millionaire in less time. That you think it's possible. Because when you write those ten things down on the left hand side, that lights you up, that you love doing, that you're passionate about, and you circle the two that are going to make the most impact in your life, and you do them every day, magic starts to happen. I want to share with you a new group that I've started, and I went from zero enrollments to 32 in two weeks. It's called the Personal Development and Leadership Capsule, and it's for career orientated people and conscious business leaders who want to grow, scale, or launch their business, or for people who want to become better communicators, do public speaking and so on. I went from zero enrollments to 32 in less than two weeks. Now, how do you do that? Now, obviously, I can't share all the details in a 45 minutes call. But it's just to say what's possible for a guy who came to Australia in 2003 and couldn't even speak proper English. If I can do it, anybody can do it. And here's another thing. It's fascinating. People who want to get into coaching, for example, they have limiting belief. The first thing I see to be coaches talk about, oh, there's too many coaches. Well, guess what? There's also 8 billion people on the planet where you don't hear people saying there's too many people, right? So I just helped someone launch the new business in the form of a new group two days ago because that person didn't know they had a list of 100 people in their immediate sphere. No cold calling, not a single dime spent on social media. And I teach people how to create urgency without creating urgency, how to get them to like and trust you. Because when people like and trust you, what happens? They want to be around you. They want to work with you. Yeah, and give value, right? When you're going through a tough time, you give more. It's the law of abundance exchange. So I've got three laws I live my life with. But if you follow the law of exchange and there's four kinds of exchanges criminal, partial, fair, abundance. If you live in life, if you live your life with abundance exchange. So if you always give more than you get back, then the law of the universe is that you will get back from the universe more than you deserve. There will be people coming in your life from somewhere, accidentally falling, and you'll have no idea how did that happen? But it'll start to happen. So I was telling you about this group I started, went from zero to 32 people and sitting at 25 just 2 hours before the lodge

on Tuesday night, 07: 18:29

00 P.m. Melbourne time. I spoke to a friend and he happens to be a senior manager in India for a company that employs 60,000 people. And he said, can I bring five of my staff on? Totally unplanned. But I'm telling you, when you work with the laws of the universe, things start to happen in your favor. So going back to what can people do to generate side income or a side gig or launch a business is first step is to write down what lights you up, because and this is the reason why to do list and priority list do not work. And if they do work, they are not linked because they are not linked to what lights you up to what's important to you if you wrote down on a piece of paper five things that are important to you. And this is a separate exercise. So for me, I'm happy to share. My number one thing that's important to me is my spirituality. Who am I, who am I connected to? Second is family. And friends. Third is making a difference. Fourth is health and the fifth is wealth. It used to be number one. Money was so important to me and guess what? There was lack of it. Because when money is important to you, the message you're sending the universe is, there is a lack of money in my life. And guess what? You attract people who don't have money. And Deepak Chopra talked about it on Oprah's show 20 years ago. If you want more money, detach from the outcome. And here's the Rob Kerry. It's not easy. That's why you need a coach or a mentor or someone to talk to. How do you get into a mindset of because your viewers probably are saying, how the hell do I detach myself from wanting more money? That's the only thing I want. Or definitely that's something I want. But I'm telling you, the moment you detach yourself from the outcome and here's the reason why it works. Because you become in the present, 90% of us, and I'm being conservative, either live in the past so we are suffering our memory. One of the main assets that our body has is our brain. But brain is also a garbage producing machine because it's got memory stored in it. So we live in the past. I should have done this, I should have said it this way and so on. Or we live in the future. We imagine stuff our brains can imagine. What if I launch this product and it doesn't work? How am I going to pay employees in the next payroll? What if my loan doesn't get approved? And then we have tears of rain while we are taking a shower thinking, what the hell am I doing? And this baby we created, which is a business, which is supposed to look after you, give you freedom, we actually end up creating a monster. One of the most interesting things I think I heard right along those same lines is when you're concentrating on the past, you're living in regret. When you're concentrating on the future, you're living in fear. I mean, how many conversations have we had in our heads? Nobody else participated in that conversation. It was just us and just our future. Self playing, role playing through conversations. Oh, if they say this, I'm going to say that. If they do this, I'm going to do that, and then none of it comes to pass. And it was a complete waste of time running those potential conflicts and conversations through. Yes, but when you're fully present, that's when you're at your best. You're not in the past living with regret. You're not in the future living in fear. You're fully present. And what we teach about executive state and survival state, it puts you in executive state because living in the past, living in a regret survival state, it's a negative emotional state. Living in the future in the fear survival state, negative emotional state present, I'm in executive state is where I perform the best. That's exactly with what we teach. Thank you. Yes. And here's a strategy, because some of your viewers or audience might be going, we already know that. We know we need to live in the present. We know we shouldn't be living in the past, we know we shouldn't be imagining future, but how the hell do we stay in the present? Now, here's a strategy. Here's a strategy for your viewers and audiences. Write down 30 positive results that you've caused for other people or yourself in your life. Everybody has more than 100, but I'm just saying 30 to be conservative. Because what happens is, Kerry, when you have a negative thought, because we cannot stop negative thoughts. You can try. Our brains do not have subtractions and division. They only have multiplication and addition. So whatever you try not to do, it's going to multiply. Right? So you cannot stop negative thoughts. What you can do is make a list of how and when you behave off the wagon and then write down your rebound. How can you come back in a situation when you're not having not in that state of mind? So if I'm having negative thoughts, I'm very analytical. I have negative thoughts every day. So I have a list of 102 results I've caused for my clients. I go and read my testimonials on LinkedIn, I go and watch videos on my website testimonials, and I read emails from other people saying how I've impacted their life. Now, what that does for me is what you just said, it brings me in fact, I'm going to ask you, Kerry, if you read 30 positive results you've caused for other people, what do you think it's going to do to you? It's going to put me right into the present. It's going to put me right in Executive State. And I'll tell you what, you had me do this exercise. One of the first things that you had me do when we began to work together. And what's been interesting is two things came out of that exercise. One is because I actually wrote them down. And what I did was this. You had me physically write them. And I happen to know the neuroscience behind that because when you physically write something down, you're building new neural pathways and you're actually implanting that memory deeper inside your brain. So it's more resilient. Not we call it it is called myelination. It's like paving a road. That's a dirt road before. And the other thing that it does is that by doing that, it makes it easier to recall. But even still, I still forget. And so it's readily available. I have it written down in my journal. And then what I did is I also typed it into the note app on my phone. So no matter where I am, I can pull that up because there's times that I just you and I have talked about this. I've alluded to it on prior podcasts back in 2008, partly because of the financial crisis and partly a lot of other stuff going on, I was in a really dark spot, really dark. And I occasionally still struggle with that. Not often, but occasionally I start to head in that direction. I'll never get to where I was back then because I know better. And as soon as I start to feel that pull, it's almost like the tractor beam out of Star Trek or Star Wars or something. But as soon as I start to feel that tractor beam, I pull myself out of it. We have a lot of tools that we teach to do that, but one of the tools that I now have that I didn't before working with you was this list. Because I can look at that list and go, the world is a better place with me here. People are better off with me here because one of the most dangerous thoughts I had was the world would be a better place if I was gone and people would be better off if I wasn't in their life. Those two dark thoughts that just are intertwined like a spider web and they go hand in hand, and I really think they are the biggest parts of that pull toward the dark. When I look at that list that you had me create, it breaks me free of that just that one tool alone. And it's such a powerful thing you had me do. So first of all, I'm grateful on a regular basis that I haven't even shared that part with you, actually in all of our conversations. But just so you know, I'm in gratitude to you often just because of that one mean minus everything else that we've created and developed along the way and that you've gifted me. So just so you know that. And for our listeners, what Guggen just shared with that's, that's huge and definitely something that you should take the time to. And for those of you that are, I say there's two types of people in the world. It's gross generalization, but there's givers and there's takers. And if you're a giver and a lot of first responders and school teachers are giver and entrepreneurs are givers, we give, give, give. So for us to step back and go, okay, here's all the things that I gave and turned out really well for people. For me, it felt counterintuitive. I had a hard time getting going on it. So if you feel that, just know a lot of people do and press through that because the gift that goggin just gave you is something that will help you for years, okay, keep going, buddy. And there is one more strategy I'd like to share with your viewers, with your permission, please, because it directly relates to the heart of the question you asked about how can these people entrepreneurs, even people who are working right now, begin to create an extra income. And here's a law that I abide by, or I used to, because I'm actually going towards phase two. So this law has two phases. It's called the law of two rabbits. And you know what happens when you're hunting rabbits. And if you know how to hunt rabbits, you know that you have to hunt one rabbit. If you're hunting two rabbits, who do you catch? Neither. And you don't even get a duck. That's right. That's an american. I don't know if you saw Daffy Duck growing up. I did. So there's a cartoon, Warner Brothers cartoon, Bugs Bunny and Roadrunner and all in that venue. And there was Elmer Fudd. He was always hunting rabbits, but Jeffy Duck would sometimes pop up. So I'm sorry, I couldn't I just. Want to say it again. So if you're serious about creating extra income or if you're serious about launching a business, you should pay special attention to this, because this law has changed my life, and it's changing my clients life on a monthly basis, if not weekly or daily. So this law talks about go for one rabbit. Phase one, okay, phase one is decide how much do you need to live? What are your minimum monthly expenses? Add 20% for miscellaneous quality of life, movie takeout once a month, once a week, whatever. And let's say you need $5,000. Add 20%, make it $6,000. Now you have a figure. Now get to work over the next six to 24 months, and just hear me out here. Get to work over the next six to 24 months to have that income in less than 10 hours a week. Okay? It's possible. Again, not enough time to share how, what tools and so on in detail, but I am the living proof of that. My clients are. But it doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen in a month. It can. But there is a reason I'm saying six to 24 months. But you have to start. And the start is what I gave you before. Write down a list, circle top two, do something every day. If you did that in six to 24 months, what's happening is you're not trading time for dollars anymore. Because if you are working 40 hours, 50 hours a week, where's the time to follow your passion or do what you love through this? Phase one, you will be successful. Because guess what? You will make mistakes. You will get embarrassed. You will feel bad. You will have self doubt. So what? The fact is, time is going to pass anyway, and you'll be same where you are two years from now. So you might as well give it a crack. Phase one number. Let's say $6,000. Do whatever it takes to create a passive income. It doesn't mean it's on automation. It still requires five or 10 hours a week input, but so what? You still have. 2025, 30 hours a week to now do what you love. And phase two is basically knowing whether you are a captain or a general. So a general has a macro view and a captain has a micro view. So if you're a general, hire someone who has a captain view, like a VA or a partner or an employee. It doesn't have to be something substantial. Even a VA in Philippines, India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, four, five, $6 an hour, you can get help. Even 5 hours a week is enough to launch a new business. Yeah, right. So these are the two phases. Work out who you are, give yourself some time. And if you've ever watched, I think it's called Secret Millionaire or Underground Millionaire. And they give them $100 and say, go and make a million bucks in three months. The first thing they do is in this particular example, the serial I saw this dude got scrap metal which was lying around in a factory for years, picked it up, delivered to people who wanted it. In the first three weeks, he made enough money so that he doesn't have to worry about his food, shelter, clothes. And the next two months and one week was focused on generating wealth. And that's the law of two rabbits. What we do is we focus on two rabbits our entire life. We get frustrated, we get stressed, anxiety hits in. And guess what? We go into a loop of shame, guilt and fear, which we can never recover from, or at least we think we can never recover from. Now, that's the bad news. The good news is help is available. So I'm going to pause here and ask you, how do you hear that I love? Well, first of all, concentrate on one rabbit. Yes. Once you have the basics taken care of yes. If we're talking about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and the triangle, we're taking care of the first layer. Two layers. Yes. And then we're concentrating on phase two. So tell us about phase two. Phase two could be you launching a new group, you're launching yourself into coaching, you're launching yourself into a new business, you're launching a new product. It could be you going to China and maybe you want to make a new business, a new snowboard. Maybe you want to create goggles that has a certain theme on it. I'm just thinking out loud over here. Maybe you want to follow your passion of taking people to the trips over the world or on retreats. It's whatever your passion is. And that's why it's so important. I go back to what I said in the beginning of this podcast. Kerry, write a list of ten things that lights you up, because when you do that, it's very hard not to follow through. The reason to do lists and priority lists don't get done at work or at business because our heart's not in it. Yeah, right. So phase two is when you've got your basic needs taken care of, this is what will happen. You will stop stressing about money. Yeah. Even if you have funds for six months and you know they're going to come in for the next six months, if I said to you, let's say your expenses are ten grand, and I said to you, you're going to get $15,000, Kerry, every month for the next six months, will you relieved? Can you focus on phase two? I'm asking you now 100%. I'd be all over phase two. And then that's what happens. Because when you're working 40, 50 hours a week on one rabbit and you're trying to give birth to another rabbit while you're doing that, the reality is you can do that for maybe three, six, nine months, but you cannot do it forever. But that's what we all do. We get in the cycle of doing or following the two rabbits for far too long, only to get frustrated. And then we keep looking for the next bright, shiny object. Next program. We keep buying books. How many of us keep buying books but don't read any? How many of us keep buying programs but don't need and don't read any? How many of us have subscriptions we don't use? I'll give you the answer. Too many. Yeah. And I've been guilty of that. There's books on my shelf that I've bought and had every intention of reading. In fact, there was one. I got home from vacation. I pulled it off the bookshelf because I had thought about it on vacation. I was like, I want to look into this book. I put it back up there last night because in two days, I hadn't had a chance to even look at it. And that was with intent, much less getting it, forgetting about why I got it, and it arrives and then it goes onto a shelf. So. Yeah, I love that. The focus, purposeful, action, give us some ideas about how to take that. Right? So I cannot emphasize this point enough, that it's so important to, first of all, stay in the present, because if you're living in the past or if you're living in the future, you will be unable to take action. Your own intelligence will work against you. So the first thing is to look after your body. The base has to be stable. You from a police military background. You would probably know this, Kerry. And this is why we all have burnouts after working 60 hours a week, because we're not looking after ourselves. If the base, if this temple, which we call body is not stable, it's unsustainable in the long run. We stop going out in nature, we stop doing walks, we stop getting enough sunshine, too many tablets. First thing is health. I know I'm talking basics, but it's number one thing. I work with my clients. The second thing is sleep. You'll be surprised that 80% of my clients only sleep four to 5 hours a night. Well, guess what? They are agitated, they are frustrated. Right. And they have a short attention span. And attention is the most expensive commodity these days, whether it's in marketing, advertising, digital agencies. So if you want to focus better, you have to get your health and sleep in order. I've actually written an article on sleep. I actually publish articles every month for this website and we sleep in 45 minutes cycles. If you did a bit of research on sleep and if you slept better, that one thing alone can make a huge difference to whatever it is you're trying to do. Yeah. Let me interject on this just for a moment, if I may. Sure. On the whole sleep thing, we do so much work with neuroscience. So the neuroscience of what happens in the brain is actually quite fascinating. So just because of metabolism, you end up during the day accumulating junk in your brain. There's cast off cells, there's all sorts of things that basically is just sewage material. Yes. And I never knew this before, but at time in the city of Paris, they actually flush the sewers. And what sleep does is the same thing. It flushes the sewers in your brain. All of the channels where all of this gunk has built up during the daytime because of metabolism and just the functions of your body. And it's all the bad stuff that's stuck in your brain. In fact, when you don't have much sleep and you wake up the next day and you're kind of foggy and you're not with it, and you're slogging through mud, your sewers didn't get flushed. Yes. What's fascinating is this flushing action. You would think it's just like the slow process, this trickle. No, it's like a jet stream. It's like a fire hose that happens inside your head. You don't hear it, you don't feel it, but it's happening. And when you don't get enough sleep, your brain doesn't have the opportunity to flush all that bad stuff out. So it lingers with you and it lingers with you and it lingers with you and like crud, like if you don't flush your toilet and you just keep putting stuff into that toilet, it begins to back up. It doesn't function properly. Your brain doesn't you're not at your best. You wonder why sometimes you don't remember things. You wonder why sometimes you're not as creative as you might be. You wonder why you say and do things that normally you probably wouldn't. Well, guess what? Probably didn't get enough sleep. More than likely. 100%. I'm just going to add to that. And for those of you who are interested to perform better, be more efficient. What Kerry said is just so important. But I'm just going to compound that by two x. One of the ways to flush whatever happened during the day, and I come from a spiritual perspective, as I said, my core need, what are my core needs, and the top five things that are important to me is my spirituality. And if you are ten minutes before sleeping, if you say to yourself, I'm not my body, I'm not my mind, I'm not the bed I'm sleeping on, I'm not the clothes I have on my body, I'm not my car, I'm not my house. And if you disconnect from everything, you will have such a peaceful sleep. You'll sleep like a baby. The problem is we start to identify ourselves with our role, with our title, with our business, with our job, too much. And if we disconnect right before we sleep, Kerry, and just relax and say to ourselves, I'm not my mind, I'm not my body, I'm not my thoughts. Because we are joy, peace and love manifested on the planet. If you ask anyone on the planet what they need, excuse me, if it's money, relationships, time, health, the answer to every single thing when you trickle down will be I want more joy, I want more peace, and I want more love in my life, regardless of what's on the top. And the only way, and one of the best ways to get that is to not identify with the surroundings or with belongings, but who you truly are. And then if you sleep better next morning, it's like your soul is like washed, almost brand new. I cannot explain the feeling. So how do you hear that? Does that resonate again? Just another powerful tool. That's awesome. I love that. I love that. We've done videos, training videos before on intentional dreaming. Have you heard of that? Yes. Can you give me your take on intentional dreaming? So for me, I request the universe to so if I have a problem, Kerry, I would say to your universe, I have this problem. I'm going to sleep. Can you please give me some solutions by the time I wake up tomorrow? And then I follow through by saying, I'm not my body, I'm not my mind, and I'm not my thoughts. Now, I know this is not going to make sense to a lot of people who are not spiritual, and it's okay. But when you understand this and you apply it and do it, let's say over 21 days, because that's how long it takes to change a habit, you will feel the power to it. But I do intentional dreaming by requesting the universe of a problem I have. So let's say I want two new clients this month. I'll actually ask the universe that, can you please create two new clients for me? Or tell me, what actions can I take tomorrow morning after I wake up so that I can create two new clients to make a difference in their life and get fairly compensated. So I'm not leaving money out of it. I do want to be fairly compensated. I do want to enjoy the quality of my life. That's how I do my intentional dreaming. Does that add up? Does that answer your question? Kerry? Yeah, that's awesome. There's right along the same lines of what you talked about, about asking for answers to questions that you have. Another thing that I've taught people to do is that you want to dream about a particular thing. And I've used that very successfully. So our listeners, unless this is the first episode that you've heard, you've heard me talk before. I was involved in two fatal Ois officer involved shootings in my career. And after each of them, even though in my heart, soul and mind, I knew that each of them, independently because of the circumstances, were completely legally and morally and spiritually justified. Yet I still had dreams, and I had a full range of dreams. I even had dreams that were just loosely associated at the wackiest dream is being in another situation where I would have to use deadly force and the bullet comes out of the end of the gun and then just drops down or it's made out of rubber and it bounces off the person and they laugh at you. Those are full on nightmares and they're as wacky as can be. When you wake up, you're like, oh my God, that is like the dumbest dream ever. But you're still having it. Dumb as it may be, silly as it may be, unrealistic as it may be, you're still having it. And when you go back to sleep, you're right back in that same dream again. So what I used intentional dreaming for, and after spending 22 years on the peer support team for the police department, helping just so many officers through after they were involved in critical incidents like that, the ability to go to intentionally think, okay, I'm going to not saying what I'm not going to dream about. I don't want to dream that. That doesn't work well. It's not nearly as effective as saying, this is what I do want to dream about. I want to dream about when I was on that amazing vacation or I want to dream about one of my favorite places that I love to go to and setting that intention before I go to sleep of these are the especially if I've woken up because of bad dreams. Yes. Or I've got some worries or concerns that some special pressures that are going on and I'm fixated on that. Being able to focus on those other things, something that puts me in a positive emotional state and executive state works incredibly well. But I love what you're saying about, I would like these answers. Yes, that's awesome. And I just want to clarify that it's not like you get answers all the time, but there is a high chance you will, because when I tried it for the first time, I was like, what a load of BS. How does that even work? Because you should question everything. And this is what I say, and I've said it to you many times, Kerry, test. Don't trust none of your viewers. Listeners. Audiences have to trust anything that we are talking about, but they can at least test. They can at least experiment. There's nothing wrong in experimenting because it's your life. It's your life you're trying to change. So you owe it to yourself to test and experiment. Test and measure what works. Keep doing it. What doesn't work, change it. Keep experimenting, and you will see that something is happening. So for me, it took, I think, two or three weeks before I got my first answer of what to do. And it was like magic. I'm like crap. It worked. It took three weeks, but it worked. And you have to set the intention. And with time, it just becomes a habit. And then you don't expect because as I said before, you drop the expectation, you're not attached to the outcome. That's when you start to getting the very, very sorry to interject. Kerry I'll be very honest, I'm not fully aware of how that works entirely. I have an idea. But amazingly, when you do drop the expectations, when you just do and just be and detach yourself from the outcome, it just works. Yeah. And you and I both have seen it and we've seen it happen with other people. So even if we don't understand all of the intricacies, we know it works. One of the key things about it, I think, is not giving up right away and not having the, well, this probably isn't going to work, but statement before you try it. What if I said it's happening right now? What if I said to you, when you invited me for this podcast, I was thinking about doing a podcast or appearing on a podcast for three weeks, and there you were, and you said, Gosh Gagan. I didn't even think about it. Would you love to be on my podcast? I didn't approach you, but I was thinking about it. I'd set the intention, but I detached myself from the outcome. And there's the universe sending you inviting me. So it's happening right now. That's awesome. And because of that conversation, you got invited to be on another podcast as well. It wasn't just one. You got two. I got two. That's pretty cool. And I really do think you're going to get even more just because as people listen to you, they're going to want to have you and your wisdom on their podcast. That's pretty cool. Appreciate that, Kerry. Thank you. Yeah. All right, so I'd like to circle back around to what is your legacy, if I may? Great question. When I started coaching, it was to make a difference, but I didn't have a number next to it. Kerry now I do. And this is one of the things that came up in my dreams, actually, that number came up. So it's not 1 million, it's not 100,000 it's not 1000 or 100. The number that came to me was, I want to impact 10,000 senior business leaders or executives because they are the people who are responsible for a lot of people in their organizations. If I can coach them to be better human beings, to be a better version of themselves, to be more efficient, to manage their time properly, to have more productivity, to speak well, communicate well, there will be lesser conflicts. If they're happy, their teams be happier. If the teams be happier, they go home with less tension. So it's a ripple effect. So I'm not just impacting 10,000. Maybe by the time I retire or die, I would have impacted a million. But I'm saying 10,000 because those 10,000 I want to impact directly. That's the reason I've started or added two more pillars to my coaching business. Not just one on one. As you know, you're a part of one is a group. And then I have an upper level group. And now I've started webinars and workshops as well. That's awesome. That is literally a pebble in the pond. Rippling out. I love that. Thank you. So one of the reasons that what do you want your legacy to be? Just struck me straight to the core, was yesterday I told a friend of mine that in December I'm going to be going to the island of Kauai. And Kauai is a special place because her son was very tragically taken in a he was a salvage diver on the surface. Freak accident. A huge chain link. When I say huge, I mean huge chain link. Yes. Snapped. The manufacturer had falsified the test records for the strength of this chain and it was put under too much load. He was actually trying to cut the chain. They were outside of Amsterdam in rough seas. His ashes are scattered near Hanale Bay, which is where I wanted my ash part of my ashes to be scattered. So we're both going to be in the same area. And so I had mentioned to her that I was going to be going there, and she asked a question about the mile marker. And I was like, oh, I got that written down. And I pulled it up in the notepad app on my phone. Here is what was amazing. I I had written down the I'd written down something and my note was titled Obituary and Passion. I just wanted to read this. Sure. It is a quote. There's a movie one of my favorite movies is Serendipity. It's romantic, it's a rom.com. And Jeremy Piven is one of the supporting actors. And there's a scene where he says this. You know, the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question. After a man died, did he have passion? When I heard that, I thought, Well, I don't know that that's right. Yes, they asked that question the way Hollywood portrayed it. I don't know if that's right. If we ask the question a little bit differently. What do I want my obituary to read? Yeah. If it's not just the passion, what needs to be in that obituary? Humility. To be a better listener, to be calm in your center more often. And what I'd like our listeners to do is take a moment and just name a few things off the top of your head that you want to be written in your obituary, because that's an outcome you can be happy with, a waypoint to have so that you know you're on the right path in your life. And the concept ultimately is that if we don't write our own obituary, you're leaving it in the hands of someone else. If you to take what you said, what do you want your legacy to be? That's what you want your obituary to read. And if you don't decide today what you want that legacy to be, what you want your obituary to read, you're leaving that in the hands of someone else. 100%. And I want to live a life by design. Not just of design, but by design, by my design. I don't want to live it being a ping pong ball or what are those games where the pinball machine where somebody else is pulling the levers and I'm just getting batted around and they're pulling the spring loaded one that shoots you back up to the top and you're getting batted around again? I don't want to live life like a pinball game machine ball. Yeah. I want to decide how it is. And the cool thing about this episode, Guggen, is that you have given us different levers that we get to pull yes. So that we're not bounced around by somebody else. We get to decide where that pinball goes. Thank you for that. Thank you for all of those different lovers that you've given us. I know that you've given me even more than what we've discussed during this time together. Well, thank you. Thank you for having me and creating this channel for people to hopefully find a pathway forward. Because I regularly interview New York bestselling authors and the last one I interviewed shared this with me. If you think the following, then you're probably right. If you think you're one sentence, one podcast, one meeting, one email, one phone call, one paragraph, one book away from an AHA moment, then you are. We never know who you might impact. Kerry so I want to say thank you for creating this channel to do that to other people. Well done. I'm going to put that as number 31 on my list. Yes, 100%. Thank you. Thank you, brother. Thank you for being here. I really, truly appreciate the honor of your time and the gift of your time. Likewise. We're going to put in the Show Notes Goggin's website so you can go to it. You can stay in touch with just going to if you're driving and you can remember this fasttrackyourcareer.com Au. Fasttrackyourcareer.com Au because he's in Australia, so it makes total sense. Remember our website? The idea world. We have tons of free resources for school teachers K through twelve, first responders as well as entrepreneurs and business leaders. If you're looking for help with leadership, communication skills, conflict resolution, deescalation, we can help you with all of that. Please check us out at theide world. Until next time, please stay safe. Bye for now. Thanks Kerry. I hope you found a lot of great value in this episode of the Deescalation Conversations podcast. Please be sure to go out to our website, Theidea World. T-H-E-I-D-E-A world. On that website, just click on the link that resonates with you most. If you're a K through twelve educator, if you're a firefighter, medical services, law enforcement, flight attendants, whatever industry you're in, we have specialized training for you. So check that training out. Because literally, it can save your life, it can save your relationship, it can save your career. So check out the idea world. I look forward to seeing you soon. Take care. You up close.