Ep. 42: 10% Hotter

Want to feel 10% Hotter? 10% Sexier? 

Feeling attractive & being desired is one of the  6 universal desires - so you are not alone! 

But don't worry...this podcast is NOT a flashback to your Cosmo & Glamour reading days....where some rando made a list of "What's Hot and What's Not" and then you spend the next week (or life) judging yourself against some made up BS list meant to secretly disempower you (ahem ... into buying things you don't need). 

We are burning those old school lists down (with love)...because guess what...they are made up and actually are NOT the answer to feeling hotter! or Sexier!! (that's why they have never worked!)

The answer is actually in YOU and it's what the law of attraction is all about.  I can't tell you anything more - just come listen to the podcast to find out your special sauce!

On this podcast you will learn: 

• What makes you feel "hot" or "foxy"
• How to become at least 10% hotter!

Follow me on Instagram @katweissner and check out my website at www.klwcoaching.com

By listening to this podcast you agree to the following Disclaimer: https://klwcoaching.com/disclaimer/

The Wildly Confident Podcast, LLC is a wholly owned subsidiary of KLW Coaching, LLC, all rights reserved. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:24

Hey, welcome back to the wildly confident podcast. I'm really excited to talk about today's topic, 10% hotter.<laugh> this is something I've done with a number of clients who are wanting to step more into their fullness around their confidence, and wanna just feel more sexy. One to feel more, just hotter, more boxier, whatever you wanna call it. Okay. And you know, this is actually one of the six universal desires. One of them is wanting to be desired. And so this is not an uncommon thing. And I think it's also what the law of attraction is based off of. And it's also part of learning how to magnet clients, to you. If you're in business coaching, or even magnetize a relationship to you. So many people get confused right, about how to do this. They think there's like a formula for doing this. And, and so they might be like, well, if I looked like a model, can you tell me what you need to fix about yourself to be hotter? Can you run through the items like to be sexier, to be more attractive? What are the things that in your head you need to fix about yourself in order to be more attractive for people who are trying to attract in a physical partner or wanna be more physically attractive, it's gonna be physical things. And for people who are wanting to in a business, wanting to attract in more clients, it's gonna be like more imposter syndrome type stuff. You're gonna be like, well, I need to finish this certification. Or I just need to get my copy, right. Or I might not be smart enough, or I don't, I'm not an expert in this. Who am I to talk about this? There's all these well, I'm lacking, right? You're like, there's, there's something I'm lacking. And if I only had this, I would be this. It's always this external thing. It's a trick of the mind, my friends, because trust me on this. I want you to think back to your life when you've gotten those things, did you actually feel hotter? Did you actually feel more desired? Did you actually like, have you ever gotten a few of those things? Let's say you were like, if I take this certifi, then I'm gonna be able to easily make money in my business. I'll be attracting in my desired customers. Like it's all gonna work out. Right? And you take the thing, you take the class and it's like, now there's another thing you need to do. Right? Your brain is constantly probably gonna be moving the goal posts on you. It's the same thing for physical stuff. Let's just say, it's like teeth whitening, or like dye your hair or losing some weight or whatever it is on the external side that you think is gonna make you more attractive. Have you ever gotten one of those things to come true? And you still felt like, like you didn't really feel like you're more attractive. It was now was like, well, I have that, but all have to do this. When you are relying on external things to make you feel hotter, goal posts are always gonna be moving and you're never gonna get there. You might feel hotter like for like that instant, but it will just fade. Right? Cuz we can't actually and mesh with external things. So the secret to feeling a little bit hotter to being desired, to, you know, attracting in even your ideal clients, the secret is all in your brain. It's all your thoughts and beliefs about yourself. What confidence is, is your thoughts. Some beliefs about yourself. So if you wanna feel hotter, you wanna feel Foxer you wanna feel like that Foxy person. Okay. It was like smoking. Like you're like on fire, right? Just like loving on yourself and feeling like super attractive and desired. It has to come from you internally. It's all your thoughts. And it's all about getting more confident. It's about learning. How to like yourself. Even the parts of you, you don't, you have judgment around it's being like, well is having more, is having whiter teeth. Is that coming from society or is that really true to my higher self and my core and chance, like y'all spoiler alert. It's coming from society. Higher self does not say you need to have white, really white teeth to be Foxy or sexier. And I can guarantee you that I could find like 10 people today. That actually would be like, I'm into women who have no teeth<laugh> or I'm into people who have like missing teeth. Like there is like all sorts of something for somebody out there, right? We just get tricked. This is one of those tricks where we lose our confidence. Society, tricks us into thinking, this is the way it needs to be in order for you to feel a certain way. It needs to be this, look, this design, this style, you into this mold. And if you don't, well, you should feel like about yourself and buy my product.<laugh> you know, it's too is to marketing ploy and it's also a control tactic. And so becoming aware of it and getting in touch with what really matters to you, right? Working on your thoughts and beliefs about feeling sexy is how you're gonna feel sexy. It's how you're gonna feel hotter. It's how you're gonna just step into your own authenticity about it. And when it comes from the internal place, then taking external act can be super amazing. It can be super fun. Let me give you an example. I had a client who was like, I don't like wearing high heels. I know high heels are like the epitome of sexiness. And like culture says like that's what a sex woman wears. But for me, I just feel the sexiest and these like red amazing slippers I have at least up feels so good to me. But you know, it's just not sexy enough. Like I really wanna wear the high heels. Like that's gonna be the sexy thing. And I was like, stop, right? Like let's let's first dissect, you know, let's put up some boundaries around this. Let's get to know you. It sounds like you're already telling me who you are, but I want you to see this for yourself. Like, you know what feels sexy to you? You know what feels good? It's those red strappy flat things like hell yeah. And you're buying into some story about high heels and that's disempowering to you. Actually you are blocking your own self by, from stepping into feeling Foxy, feeling sexier, being more

Speaker 2: 6:26

Desired

Speaker 1: 6:28

Desire comes from a thought inside your head. You guys, everything comes from your own thoughts.

Speaker 2: 6:34

<laugh>

Speaker 1: 6:35

We can create anything we want by our own thoughts When

Speaker 2: 6:38

You're

Speaker 1: 6:38

Stuck in this idea that you need to be pers society's thing, you're basically rejecting yourself. And when you're rejecting yourself, you're gonna have low confidence. You're gonna be pretending to be somebody you are not. And guess what? You're actually gonna be repelling people because there's something off about you.

Speaker 2: 6:55

<laugh>

Speaker 1: 6:55

Like the energy is gonna be not one that's attractive. Even if you you're in hypothetically high heels, cuz owning yourself, being hot, being sexy, all of this stuff comes from owning that energy and you and exuding it into your aura. When we like ourselves, when we own our own energy, when we know what we like and we are confident in it, there's an aura about us. It has nothing to do with whether it's a red flat shoe or a high heel zero. Okay. That's a false story from society. You gotta break off from that. You gotta put a boundary up there and say, that's not me. What is me is let me get to know myself a little more, but what feels really juicy for me? These

Speaker 2: 7:35

Red flats. Oh

Speaker 1: 7:36

Hell yeah. When I wear these I'm on fire. People come up to me and they're like, I love that. Like it's so hearing like your true essence comes through, right? Your aura comes through and people are just naturally attracted to wanting to be with you. And I just wanna

Speaker 2: 7:50

Say this, there is nothing wrong with wearing high heels. So many of my clients wear high heels out of empowerment. And I just want you to recognize where you're doing things that feel empowering to you and feel good to you feel aligned to you and where you're doing things where you think you should be doing them in order for other people to like you or to be attractive. That's the key there's actually no right or wrong answer to what type of shoes you're supposed to wear or whether or not you're supposed to get Botox or not. Or any of, of those things that women have come to me in the past being like, well I love wearing high heels, but I'm a feminist. And you know, and I'm like, look, throw away all of the titles you have for yourself and tap into how you feel inside. I just want you coming from a place of empowerment. That feels good because when you are feeling empowered, that is what your aura is going to be showing out to the world. And that's how you become more attractive because you're standing in your power. So it doesn't matter if it's red flats or high heels or boots or sandals or barefoot, doesn't matter what it on your feet. As long as it feels hot to you, it feels good to you. You freaking love it inside.

Speaker 1: 9:10

That's

Speaker 2: 9:11

All you need to do.

Speaker 1: 9:12

And it's the same thing for business. The more you step into who you are and just being like I, the way I am is a hundred percent worthy. I have value to share with people just by saying words. And those words can change people's lives. I don't need to take this course or that course, or blah, blah, blah. Right? And I'm not trying to say I haven't taken a number of courses and I haven't educated myself, but the things that most profoundly help my clients are just the words that come outta my mouth when I'm not overly in my head thinking about what I should be doing. Notice the should, when we're shutting ourselves, we're gonna get out of alignment out of our confidence, right? We're not listening to our internal guidance. We're listening to what we think society wants us to do. And you're just gonna be decreasing your vibration automatically. When you're doing that, in my opinion, you're going to your aura. Your energy to magnetize is gonna immediately go down. But when you're showing up in your business with your full throttle self, this is who I am. And just my words are good enough to help people. Just speaking words, changes people. My words, I don't have to have a script y'all I don't have a script for these podcast. I basically have a topic it's sometimes a full, a few bullet points, no less valuable because of what I'm doing. I'm sure you've gotten lots of value from it, right? I'm just sharing it with you. My truth. I'm sharing it with you. And I know just me saying these words are gonna help you. I have complete faith in that, cuz I've seen it happen and I know what to be true. And I don't have to have a giant outline. Now if having an outline is what feels good to you, then do it. Okay. I just want you to do what feels good for you. I know for me, I get the most. I can help people the most by just showing up to these podcasts with like a few ideas of what I wanna talk about and just channeling from a place of complete trust in myself of just completely tapped into my own gut and my own intuition about what, what just needs to flow in order to have the biggest impact on people. And I have found that that works over and over and over again. I'm not fighting my own. I'm not fighting against myself. I'm harnessing who I am and that is attracting people in to me. That's attracting in the people that I'm meant to work with, that I can, I'm gonna be able to help and we're gonna be in sacred reciprocity and co-creation together. And it's the same thing for being hotter. Okay. When you're wearing something that you think is super hot, no matter what society says, when you get that boundary up, that's not me. This is like these red shoes or what's hot. And you, and you exude, you're gonna be exuding that, that feeling, that aura of feeling hot, other people are gonna think you're hot. Like trust me, just play some fun practice games with this. It really works. And why do I call it 10% hotter? Cuz like I I'm really about micro practices. Listen to my podcast on process goals versus outcome goals. You know, everything. Even like all the trust work I do with people, we always start with small little practices cuz I don't wanna burn out your nervous system and, and burning out your nervous system will actually make you quit. I think when we talk about self-help and self growth, I did an IG live on this recently, but the biggest thing I see people like screwing up on with it is they try to go too fast, too quick. They're in such like a place where they feel negative about themselves. So they feel crappy about themselves. They just wanna feel better. So they like, it's like the way like you might like binge a box of girl scout cookies feels good in the moment, but there's no lasting change later.<laugh> I don't know. I mean, who cares? Like you binge a box of girl scout, cookies, whatever, you know, you're not gonna have maybe remorse about it, but it's certainly not gonna make any sort of substantial changes in your life. It's just gonna feel good in that moment. It, so people binge self-help stuff, they binge inspirational stuff on IG. They binge courses. They'll take an entire course in like week and they'll be like, I got the answers. I feel so good. And then they end up in the same pattern few weeks later, you know, it's just, we can't change that fast. Maybe parts of us can. But typically again, it it's about 66 days to make a change people. And that's why I have my coaching container for at least 12 weeks, sometimes 24 weeks, depending on where we're trying to go with the results in someone's life. And sometimes people work with me for 12 weeks, go away for a year and come back for another 12 weeks to do the next thing. Right. It just takes a little bit of time to change our beliefs and our, and there's nothing wrong with that. We don't want to basically do, you know, have what I would call like it's like fools gold, almost buying into this like, oh I can get, I can, this will just happen this week or whatever. Like I maybe there's some circumstance. Some people can do that, but I have found over and over and over again with the people I've worked with what creates lasting results, what creates results that keep multiplying in the future. Okay. Like that snowball that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. As it rolls down the hill, your results will just keep getting bigger and bigger. Even when we're not working together is actually doing these small little practices and weaving them into you, weaving them into your system so of their permanent habits. So you have actually permanently changed part of the structure of who you are and that's how you also trust that you'll never go back to the way you used to be. You'll never go back to that person that used to talk about themselves, about their body or dated those narcissist guys, never making enough money. You'll never go back there because making a permanent shift in your structure and along the way, we're also doing micro practices that you can build the trust that you are now in a safe place. Now. So 10% a hotter is just all about you playing around with the concept of how can I be 10% hotter over the next 30 days? How can I add a little ooph by tapping into how I naturally am? How I naturally like things, not what society tells me is sexy or fun or whatever. This is true for business. How can I just be 10% more attractive for my ideal clients? And because this could be a little nerve to your nervous system, we just do it in small little bites. We just pick one or two things, you know, for this person that's gonna be wearing those red shoes a few times. And like, just like on a day where you feel like you want to, don't go against yourself. Don't just do things and like punish yourself because you're like, well I have to do this. We always wanna get an alignment with ourselves. We don't wanna be forcing things and going against our own will cuz we think it's gonna make us feel better. And with your business, I think some suggestions would be sometimes, you know, one of the biggest problems I see with people in their businesses is they're not showing up, um, authentically. They don't have enough confidence just to show up as themselves. They're hiding behind their systems over delivering to clients. They're needing to have all these frameworks, all of this stuff in order to get the results for their clients because they don't really think they can do it. They need to have all these certifications. They need one more certification before they can do this or they need to have more proof for all of this stuff. Y'all I get it. You know, big hug for you if you're in, if you're in that place and you're stuck. And what I wanna say to you is go ahead, get your certifications. You know, if that's gonna provide some additional confidence for you, I'm not here to block you from doing that, but let's just have fun. And let's just try doing something that feels safe, where you can just be like 10% more yourself, show yourself 10% more in a, in a little bit of a vulnerable way. That's an alignment with who you are and wait for the universe to respond positively because it will. I have wholehearted faith. I've seen this happen over and over again in my life and over and over again in my client's life. And that's why we do it in little bits because you'll get like a positive response and I'll be, oh, it's safe to be myself. Oh, I got a client from being my, myself. Maybe the, this works right. Maybe I do 10% more. Next month you don't go a hundred percent in. You don't have to go a hundred percent in on either of these things. We just kind of, we do like the 10% we do the one 10% feels like too much do the 1%. It doesn't matter. Like I said, once you get that stuff moving, you're changing the trajectory of your life and you will get a different result from the recycled life you're in. Now, you won't have the same pattern. You won't be stuck. You will absolutely be getting a different result and that's gonna be providing you proof, your brain proof. The part of your brain. That's like, well, this isn't gonna work. You know, it will be giving it proof to say, Hey doubter, Hey, this part of me, that's outer in my brain, the critic in my brain, it actually does work. Look, look at the results here. I felt great wearing those red shoes. And I got the universe responded back and many people commented on how badass I looked or how amazing I looked cuz I was in my, my unique fullness. Society wants to tell you that there's one way to be and everyone should be striving for that. Y'all step out of that storyline.<laugh> that is not true. That is a storyline meant to keep you small doubting yourself. And it's the storyline, whether it has to do with your body or your business or relationships, there is not one thing ever. There's actually just one thing for each of us. And you have to tap into what that one thing is for you. And when you do, that's when things in your life get so much easier, that's when you start attracting in what you desire, don't work against yourself, work with your natural state of who you are, what you like, okay. What do you actually like? Who are you actually? And how can you magnify that and share that gift with the world? Okay. Hope you loved this podcast on 10% hotter, have fun. Just being 10% hotter this week. Next week, over the next 30 days, have some fun. If you're an IG, please send me some DMS about what you've been doing. I'm my IG handle is at KA Weisner. K a T w E I S S N E R. Send me some DMS about what you've been doing to get 10% hotter. I love hearing people's stories around this. It's super inspiring and it's a practice that for me, I'm consistently doing in my life. I'm always just curious about getting to know myself better in this moment, because we are always changing. We change slowly, but it's always important. I think to check back in with yourself, just because something worked in the past doesn't mean it's gonna work in the future for you because you might have changed. And so another thing I see with people is like, you know, they're operating off an old instruction manual for themselves and they haven't gone back to check to see like, Hey, does that still work? You might might be like having a lot of problems in a certain area of your life. And then it might be like, you might be frustrated. You'd be like, well, this always worked in the past. Why isn't it working anymore? Well, this is why we're always doing this practice of getting to know ourselves, getting to know ourselves where we are right now, because we are designed to change. And it's just the nature of reality and the nature of ourself. The good new was about humans. As we changed pretty slow. Sometimes we can have fast change, but most of the time we're like slow. So just like if you're playing around with just, you know, stepping more into your full authenticity, your full confidence where you are now every month by 10%, what would that look like? And how can you have fun doing that and really recognize the results that you're getting. Take time after you're done with this to journal about your results. This is what showed up because our brain has negativity bias and might be more likely to find all the negative things we have to take time to get more in positivity, bias or positivity bias just to recognize the positivity. Okay. So I always suggest, you know, after you, you've gone out and you've done one of these little, you know, practices, these growth practices and getting that 10% hotter, have fun, writing out all the synchronicities you're finding in your life where the universe is supporting you. And you're, it's being reflected back to you that you are 10% hotter. Definitely make sure and celebrate that we don't take enough time to celebrate. So take time to notice the positive reflections you're getting back. As you're making these little micro practices to get more into your confidence and celebrate them. Hope you enjoyed this. And I will talk to y'all next week. Have a great week. Bye.