117 - Crying on the Camino with Celeste Mancinelli - The transformative journey that became an award winning show!

Ever wondered how a simple walk could transform your life? This episode of Camino Cafe features the incredible journey of Celeste Mancinelli, a retired speech and language pathologist whose trek on the Camino Portuguese led her to create the captivating one-woman show, Crying on the Camino. Celeste takes us through her motivations for embarking on the journey at this stage of her life, the surprising trials she faced with her trekking companions, Dr. Lynn and Lauri, and the deep connections that formed along the way. Through her candid reflections and humor, you'll gain a newfound appreciation for the self-discoveries that the Camino pilgrimage can bring.

Discover the unexpected path that turned Celeste’s Camino experience into a successful theatrical performance. Initially capturing her trek through personal recordings and Facebook updates, the isolation of the pandemic and encouragement from friends led her to develop and perform her material in intimate settings. From living room gatherings to sold-out theaters, Celeste’s minimalist act, featuring only her and her Camino gear, has captivated audiences worldwide. Her self-deprecating humor and raw storytelling have brought the universal appeal of her pilgrimage to stages in Madrid, Santiago, and Portland, just to name a few, making the story resonate with people across the globe.

This episode also touches on the deep connections Celeste has formed with her audience and the children she once cared for. Hear about the emotional reunions and the gratitude expressed by those whose lives she has touched, whether through her career or her performances. Celeste’s honesty about aging, personal reflection, and the physical and spiritual challenges of the Camino resonate deeply with audience members, pilgrims, and non-pilgrims.  Tune in for an episode filled with inspiration, laughter, and the joy of shared experiences.

For upcoming dates and more information:
https://crycamino.com/

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:08

Welcome to the Camino Cafe podcast. I'm your host, Leigh Brennan. For many, the Camino ignites creativity. For Celeste Mancinelli, it inspired her acclaimed one-woman show, Crying on the Camino. In this interview, Celeste had me laughing and tearing up, just as I did when I saw her performances in Santiago. This discussion reveals the power of walking a Camino, how it can transform your life and guide you through the crossroads we often face in life. For Celeste, her walk came in between her retiring from her career as a speech and language pathologist and returning to her passion for acting. If you've been lucky enough to have seen the show already, you'll get to hear some wonderful behind-the-scenes stories. If you haven't had a chance to see the show yet, please visit the link in the show notes for upcoming dates for Crying on the Camino. Much love to Celeste and to Pilgrims Dr Lynn and Lori. All three of you have won my heart. Let's join the conversation. You walked the Camino Portuguese, and I think you started in Porto. Is that right? Yes, I did. What year was that?

Speaker 2 1:19

2018, at the end of 2018. Yes, okay.

Speaker 1 1:23

So had the Camino been something that had been on your radar for a while, you know how'd this all come about, that you even walked?

Speaker 2 1:29

That's very interesting. Because I had recently retired and because it was, you know, kind of a change period in life. I was looking to do something different and I was not really close with Dr Lin. She's one of the characters in my piece. She was a former principal and we had had really limited interaction. But upon visiting her one day she started showing me all her books of the Camino, showing me all her books of the Camino a vast array. She's done 12 of them and it was thrilling to look at all the pictures. But what attracted me most was that it resembled a really past period of my life. When I was younger.

Speaker 2 2:19

Although I lived in the city, every weekend was spent trying to find a trail or a reservoir, somewhere where I could walk and climb and experience something new. So the thrill of it was that I want the challenge of a long hike. And erroneously I thought well, dr Lynn is older than me and we're walking with her sister, who was even older, so there's like a 10 year span between us, right? So in my ridiculous notion of things, I thought well, this is going to be a piece of cake, because already I'm about 10 years younger. I trained for it, recognizing that they were regular walkers. But there were a few times when I actually walked with them and these are only for short stints around town, like maybe a five-mile thing, and I'm thinking to myself, oh, this is going to be fine because my pace is faster than theirs. You know, I'm going to be cool with this.

Speaker 2 3:24

What I was not counting on was their longevity. They never stopped, and this is in part of my play, and people constantly ask me is it true, is it authentic? And yes, it is, because I would reach the top of the hill. And yes, it is because I would reach the top of the hill and I, as I assume everybody feels, at the top of the hill, a hill, oh wow, I made it to the top of the hill. Let me just pause and register that.

Speaker 2 3:56

And I think the most startling thing was recognizing that on inclines, when we did reach the top of something, that there was no pause, there was no time to register that we had accomplished something. They just continued to walk. So I, you know I'm jumping ahead because you said, what made me want to do it? I mean, really, what made me want to do it was the thrill of, you know, a challenge, but also because these two individuals were so different than me. If you go or at least that was my initial assumption we are vastly different and that's a thrill in itself walking with people who are different, spending 24 hours with people who are different, people who are different, spending 24 hours with people who are different.

Speaker 2 4:47

But then ultimately, lee, one of the other gifts of the Camino is recognizing at the end the similarity among all and how much we are really all the same. And they have become the dearest friends since that walk. We just can't stop talking to each other, communicating with each other. They're like my booking agents. They're always propelling the show forward. I can't say enough about them. And, as a matter of fact, sometimes after the show, the sisters get more accolades than me when they happen to be in the audience, accolades than me when they happen to be in the audience. And at the finalization of the play, when I say there is another joy coming your way because the sisters are in the audience, there is an audible gasp. I mean they were.

Speaker 1 5:40

So I witnessed that. I, literally, on the second show, someone that was sitting near me said I'd love to meet the sisters, and of course I knew the sisters were there and I thought, well, they're going to be so happy when the show ends because the sisters are right in front of us. So, yes, you're right, people want to know them. I think it's the quality of the way that you describe them it's so heartfelt and the way that you can describe how funny they were, their idiosyncrasies, but you can see how much you love them.

Speaker 1 6:18

And you just make people want to know them.

Speaker 2 6:21

We want to meet them. Well, this is music to my ears because, you have to realize, initially, when I wrote this piece, it was about two and a half hours long and my husband and daughter, uh, were saying to me you know, you are never going to be able to do this show in front of the sisters Lori and Lynn, because you're making fun of them. And I said, I hope that's not the case. I hope I'm showing how much I'm joined at the hip and that I I love them and, um, interestingly, they are thrilled with it. I mean, they're like, say whatever you want about us, you know, they become mini stars. They said they were walking the Camino and a pilgrim came up to them, the woman Susan Peacock, her name is. She's from Florida and was talking about my show and how much she enjoyed it, which was lovely. And they said well, we're the sisters. And she said you're the sisters. She said we're becoming celebrities on the trail and she wanted pictures with us. And so they're thrilled.

Speaker 2 7:29

And you know, as I said, it's not really when I originally was writing the piece with a very wonderfully renowned director in New York who sadly passed during COVID, new York, who sadly passed during COVID, he said to me I hope you realize that you would not have a show, and this is just when I was first developing the 30 minutes. He said you would not have a show if it weren't for the incongruity between you and these two crackpots I mean, that's what we call them, crackpots. And then he said it's easy to write about the humor and the horror of the trip. He said, but if you don't get to the point where you start to reflect on what happens to you internally, you will not have a full arc to the piece. As I was writing it and I kept reading and I came across the Beatitudes.

Speaker 2 8:32

The Beatitudes are the thing that I really feel cemented my piece, for lack of a better phrase, almost like it's a scene. I do a scene and and then I have, as you've seen in the show, but then I have a personal internal reflection and it comes to me at the end of different events along the trail and I think that is the thing that made the piece a fully realized thing. And when you say I mean some of the thing that made the piece a fully realized thing, and when you say I mean some of the compliments that you give are so wonderful to me because he also said he always says to me as a one woman show, it's very hard, you have nobody to bounce off of. But he always said to me if it exists for you, it will exist for the audience. So people say that to me oh, it reminded me of this or I had the same experience. Then I know I'm approaching the ultimate goal of people walking with me, people experiencing the trail with me.

The Power of the Camino Show

Speaker 1 9:42

Oh, absolutely yeah the show, you literally feel as if you're walking with you. I thought I was walking with you and the sisters I mean your, your descriptions, and I think that you know for me as a pilgrim, you know your Camino ends up being a lot about the people that you meet along the way, the people that you're walking with right and and learning to um, accept the things are that are similar, the things that are different. We make up trail names for one another and it literally felt like I was walking with you guys and you just do a terrific job at that. I want to come back and talk about the sisters and kind of explain to some folks who haven't yet seen your show what we're talking about there, but let's back up a little bit and come back to so. Now you're out walking, you know you're starting to experience the Camino in real life versus what?

Speaker 1 10:39

Dr Lynn had told you about, or what you had read about. At what point did you say, wow, wow, I think I have a show here. I think I have something that I'm going to create out of this. Did that happen on the trail or did that happen after the show?

Speaker 2 10:54

um, or after the walk. It happened way later, interestingly. Um, the way it started. And it's so funny because sometimes things materialize when there is no plan. I've learned that from doing this because, as I was walking and moaning internally, I took out my phone and I just started to speak into my phone privately and I would say I have to record this because I think this is going to kill me, because, although I trained for it, I just wasn't accustomed to their way of, as I said, never stopping eating minimally, staying in the barest overnight accommodations I was always looking for Well, isn't there like maybe a hotel where we could stay in? But I started to record in my phone and then, in turn, I started at night to write on Facebook. This is what happened today, or my, you know, my feet are sore. My bandana has become the most prized possession in my pack Today to sop the excessive sweat, then to lay it on the ground as a beach blanket, then to dip it in a stream and wrap it around my neck. And, as I started, I would just take a picture of the bandana, write it on Facebook, and the response I got was phenomenal, phenomenal. And people were saying you have something here, tell us about the next day. But still, I was just posting it on Facebook.

Speaker 2 12:36

Then, when I became truly sick and I had a very bad cold and sore throat, then I was getting all these concerned people back home you have to leave the trail. This is ridiculous. You're sick and you have to eat more. You have to become more vocal about your food needs. And so I keep digressing. But it's so funny because my husband said you're just going to have to become more vocal about the food you need. So the next morning, while the two sisters are having fresh squeezed orange juice and sharing a piece of toast, I ordered something. And Lori turns to me and says do you realize? You just ordered an entire sandwich. And I said yes, other people are eating a sandwich too, but anyway, I digress.

Speaker 1 13:27

So let's, let's, oh yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 2 13:29

So I take all, I have all these recordings, all right. So I go home and I start auditioning regularly again as an actress and I'm very excitedly cast in a gentleman's guide to love and murder. I was longing to do it. And COVID hits and the theater closes and I've just retired with the goal of going back to my career as an actress. So I'm in woe, like here, I get a show, I'm ready to do it, and now COVID hits it. And now COVID hits.

Speaker 2 14:12

So I started to take all the recordings from my phone and just put them in a written form on a piece of paper, that's all. And it came out to a lot of detail. And then I had a friend who was doing a dance compass presentation at one of the area community colleges and she said you know what? We just want like a little opening thing of 30 minutes. Do you think you could just put on 30 minutes of your piece? And so I started to workshop it in a small setting with that director in New York and it was a large university. So in terms of COVID, they had everybody separated. I did the first 30 minutes and I got such response. And that's what really motivated me, because none of these people were Camino walkers, me, wow, maybe I have something here for everybody.

Speaker 2 15:04

And I continued to write and during COVID, ended up doing it because I had to find small spaces in living rooms. Because my director at the time was like you really have something here. And I'm thinking, oh, he has some great ideas. He's going to put it on in one of the theaters in New York and have a limited audience. And I said, well, when I love to do it? I just you know where would I do it?

Speaker 2 15:29

Excitedly thinking, oh, he's going to put it in some shape or form in his theater, but he's 95 at this time. So I said, well, when, where would I do it? And he said, well, don't you have neighbors? And I laughed because I thought how absurd. But then during COVID, that's what started to happen. I did it for 30 people in a living room, then that expanded to the libraries, where I started to do it for 50 people and then 55 people, and eventually it kept growing and growing and growing to churches and then theaters and the rest is history. But it really started with no plan, just me moaning into my phone.

Speaker 1 16:11

Wow. And now you have performed this in Madrid and Santiago, all across the United States, and, as a matter of fact, you just sold out in Portland.

Speaker 2 16:31

And Lee, I have to tell you it's a very different thing doing a one person thing versus a play and sometimes the beauty of my pieces. It's a lot about minimalism and what could be more minimal? It is just me in my Camino outfit, with my hair pulled back and a backpack and two poles, and sometimes I'm backstage and they give this announcement in front of this 300 plus people and I'm backstage and I'm going. Are you out of your mind? What are you doing? It's just you and your backpack, but it's really the power of the Camino.

Speaker 1 17:11

It really is yeah, I agree, I will, and your acting and and the story, um, I I wanted to say to you you have such a beautiful way of this self-deprecating humor about yourself and I wonder if you can kind of talk about that.

Speaker 1 17:30

I mean, you, you really you're so vulnerable in this and talking about your body and about age, and about fitness and you know how did that feel the first couple of times that you went out, Because you know, imagine as an actress, of course, you're always vulnerable, but it's not necessarily vulnerable about yourself, I mean, this is about you.

Speaker 2 17:50

Yeah, well, I think sometimes I think that's the appeal of it, because it is so, so, brutally honest. But those are the kind of internal thoughts that come to you or that came to me while walking, and it wasn't a matter of it, just, it didn't feel like any form of bravery in putting it forth, it was just the honesty to truly capture what I was feeling at that moment and the difficulty in terms of aging, but at the same time, the need to celebrate the fact that, at least for me, I'm at a very healthy point in my life. And it's just. I think sometimes when people speak of the Camino, they spend maybe too much time in almost the ethereal, spiritual sense of things and they don't get down to the nitty gritty. And maybe that's what has captured people, because, yes, it is wonderful to talk about what happens and, as I said, in the end, when I am at the cathedral, the kind of realization that comes to me is very powerful. At the cathedral, the kind of realization that comes to me is very powerful, but that doesn't happen along the trail. Along the trail is the woe and the recall of past, when I was more vibrant, when I was more flexible, when I was able to do with ease so many of the things that I now cannot do and I'm pretty physically fit, but it's just these very honest differences of, I think, even something as small as like I'm very blessed that I have no aches and pains at this age, but there are different things that come to you and I think it's important to express them because we all really feel these things, but they're not things that we necessarily talk about.

Speaker 2 20:02

I hate the phrase oh, I'm getting old. I never move into that and I even say that in the piece. But the little things are important. For instance, I bend down to get something that's fallen under the table. I'm able to do that, but all of a sudden it registers in my mind oh, I'm bending down, and what that brings to me is in the past I would just bend down. There was no internal register of, oh, my body is bending down and that's what happened on the Camino.

Speaker 2 20:43

All the little slight changes and the idea I love the section when I start to realize this is becoming playful because I'm walking like I used to walk making me think of, as I mentioned in the piece, the words of Stuart Brown that as adults, it's important that we return to those aspects of play that we do explore backwards and the moments on the Camino.

Speaker 2 21:11

When I am brought back to past situations, when I'm under that grapevine, the glory of remembering my grandfather, building that grapevine and bringing that forth, a lot of people will say to me ah, that made me, as I mentioned to you, that made me think of this. Then my process is complete, because it's really just so many times when you're performing it is giving. But it's really all about if it's just a regular play. It's all about I'm singing, I'm using my breath, I'm using my talent, I'm using my comedy. But this goes beyond a theater experience because people are experiencing it with me and that's always your goal as an actress. Is is authenticity, but when the authenticity moves to a connective tissue with other people, that's a reward that I never anticipated, you know.

Speaker 1 22:18

Yeah, I can totally see that that's happening in the two performances that I went to. I really can't remember the last time I was in a show or a movie where I could see people in front of me, their heads nodding Like they, literally before their eyes. Your show was resonating with them. They could see their own Caminos, I think through you they could imagine so much. And so I wonder, you know, at the end of the show I noticed so many people just rushing up to talk to you.

Speaker 2 22:56

I know it's a threat.

Speaker 1 22:59

What was that like and how is it? You know, could you compare and contrast? You know, cause I know that's something you're right. You know, after a big show, people want to bring up roses to the actors, but now you've got pilgrims coming up to you in Santiago and and wanting to talk to you and I know that's happening when you're going to one of the American Pilgrims on the Camino chapter. So what is that like for you as an actress and as a pilgrim, you know that to do this show and all of a sudden you've got people that have had a similar experience and now they're, I'm imagining, talking to you about this. What do they say to you?

Speaker 2 23:30

You know it's funny. It isn't what you would probably, as an outsider, expect, because you have to realize after doing the show it is such an expenditure of energy in terms of concentration. It's like I'm in such another space. Somebody once said something to the effect of acting is not. Don't quote me on the percentage 95% concentration. But you know people say, oh, you don't have to worry all about yourself because if you forget a line, you know, you just keep going. But no, no, no.

Speaker 2 24:10

This story is a sequence, so that if I happen to jump ahead in sequence which has happened my poor daughter in the audience recognizing that I'm eating lunch and ready to talk about passing this darkened body of water. When I returned to the darkened body of water and realizing, oh, my goodness, I forgot the moment when I passed that body of water, it is so tough because I'm literally actively performing a piece and it's like they talk about dichotic listening. This is like dichotic brain power You're performing while this other piece of your brain is saying you have to get back to the river, you have to get back to the pond, whatever it is. So it's, it's very difficult. So when the show is over and I feel like it has been completed and I've done it successfully. There's just a feeling of that was a job well done. You did your work. That was a job well done. You did your work.

Speaker 1 25:22

That was a job well done, similar to finishing the.

Speaker 2 25:23

Camino. It's like doing a Camino huh. It's not like I'm not receiving these wonderful things, but it doesn't really elevate me to another place, and maybe that's partly because of my age. When you're younger, you expect that every show you do is going to move you to that next spot and the next spot. And I have a younger cousin who's very talented, a second cousin who does the same thing as trying to do a one woman show and every time she hears about my success she'll say to me what does it feel like? What does it feel like? And I think she's expecting this glowing response. And I have to tell you it's really like I did my work, I prepared, and it's a job well done and it's very satisfying and I receive all. I mean I receive all the things, that, what everybody says, and that's what propels me forward to saying I want to do it again and again, but it's less wanting to do it again and again for the purpose of the applause or the laughs, and more for how many more people can I touch? You know, that's that's so valuable. You know, and that wasn't my intention. You know, my intention was I love to perform, I want to sing.

Speaker 2 26:46

The beauty of this is people say to me did you really sing? I totally sang during the trail because it was the only way, as I mentioned, that they would stop. Okay, let me sing about the cornfield, let me sing about this. I mean, it would just come out of the moment, but it really happened that way. And somebody just said to me well, if you ever go to a legitimate Broadway house, I'm just telling you right now, you have to have a piano. And I don't know about that, because the piece is the piece as it is it. It is about the reality of what happened, the simplicity of what happened. And when I sang, how could I do a piece about walking on the command with a piano coming in? There is no piano. There is no piano. It's just us on the trail and what happened as a result of us on the trail, you know.

Speaker 2 27:39

So it's really been interesting, but I'm not going to say, you know, I mean definitely people coming up to me, it's wonderful, but I'm in a different, I'm in another zone. I'm in another zone like, oh, I'm done, I did it, did it. You know, as a matter of fact, when I did it in New York the first time at the theater, my body mic was still on and they taped that performance, or one of the performances, oh, one of the performances, at Gateway Playhouse. My body mic was still on. I do the piece, I go backstage and I bend over and I go whoa, whoa. It's just like that expenditure of release and that's on the tape. It's so funny that I'm dead.

Speaker 1 28:33

It almost sounds like how I feel and how you kind of portrayed arrival at the Albergue after a long day. Right, it's like you're just, you're spent.

Speaker 2 28:44

Yes, and like I said, it's wonderful to speak about the glory of the Camino, but I think it's nice to talk about. And then I did it in front of an entire audience of men, the Retired Men's Association, oh my God. And what do you think I get that? You get all different. And he wrote well, I really liked your show, but it was a little raw. It was very raw, I guess, in terms of what yours Now is it really raw? I mean, I guess because maybe I show my bra, I talk about my body, I talk about my body. I talk about, you know, I show in the shower what I'm doing, you know. But we all do that, you know.

Speaker 1 29:23

Exactly and I think, as a woman, you know, sitting there and watching, observing other women watching the show, and again they're nodding their heads. When you're talking about trying to snap the front of your backpack, you know, over your chest, I mean, these are real things we face and you know it's funny because it's true, yes, but so few people talk about it and I feel like you allowed us to laugh and share and reminisce about some of these really difficult things about being in the shower and all the craziness that happens on the top bunk when there's no air coming in. But I wanted to talk a little bit about the sisters, for those that have not seen the show, and for those that have, they'll laugh along with us. But let's talk about the whole food thing, because these two girls don't eat much and I think I had in my notes to when I was watching the show about them even splitting, I think, one banana or one orange. So can you talk about how little these girls ate and how that impacted you during your walk?

Speaker 2 30:26

Well, as I say in the beginning, it's time for our lunch break. Dr Lin the stoic sister she has agreed to carry all the food in her backpack, so she removes a banana from her sack Just want to make sure you're hearing me. She removes a banana, meaning one, and we each get a third of a banana. Then Lori brings out a vitamin C gummy bear which she relishes as a delightful dessert treat. But on good days we get a granola bar.

Speaker 2 31:02

I just want to insert here in my real life back home I might eat a third of a banana, a gummy bear and a granola bar on my way from the kitchen to the living room without even registering that I put something in my mouth. But here on the Camino, this is a delightful banquet and I relish every morsel. And that is exactly true. There's a part of me going I can't believe this is what we're eating, but at the same time I'm so hungry I'm really going to relish in this and enjoy this. And they said to me after watching the piece they said well, you know, we didn't tell you, but we recognized that it wasn't enough for you, so by the end of the trail we gave you a half and we were having a quarter.

Speaker 1 31:59

No, are you serious?

Speaker 2 32:04

Now, now that I'm friends with them, I say to them now, truly, because one night, if you remember, we're in the Albergue they go out to explore the town. They come back, they find a fruit market. They're thrilled, they found this fruit market. They're thrilled, they found this fruit market. They bring in a paper bag, no lie, they take out one pear, one, we can snack on this. Later. I said to them now, in my real life, come on, now I know you. Why would you buy one pear at the fruit market? I mean it really is startling, right, it's startling. Why would you buy one pair? And they're both kind of considering it.

Speaker 2 32:49

And Dr Lin says well, you know, we grew up and they grew up in some impoverished surroundings. You know a single mother with, I think, five girls and she said and we always share. So Lori and I always would take a piece of fruit and we share it between us. I said yes, but there were three of us. But they said yeah. In other words, there's just not much forethought. It's like, oh, we'll get a pair and we'll share. This time we shared it three ways. I mean I was dumbfounded. And then people say, well, did you say anything? And it's an interesting thing because when you're with people who don't eat much and you want to eat much, much more, you feel like there's an Italian saying, you feel like a gavone, like, oh, I want more, and you just join in with their kind of meager appetite, meager meal. At one point when we went to this was before the walk or like we were in Madrid and we entered this wonderful place with empanadas every flavor imaginable, like spinach and squash and I'm thinking if I were with my daughter they were small, circular empanadas and I was thinking if I were with my daughter we would get like all seven and split them. And I was thinking if I were with my daughter we would get like all seven and split them and we each got one. And then I'm looking at this wonderful avocado thing and I'm like, well, maybe we can get one of them and split it, when of course I would have eaten.

Speaker 2 34:35

The husband said you have to be more vocal. We're walking by and you know you've done the trail, it's early morning and you'll pass by a little cafe where people are laughing and talking and having coffee. I personally don't drink coffee, but I like hot water or hot tea to start my day. And we're walking by and Lori says, well, I guess that's the way some people like to do it. They start their day like that, but we like to walk.

Speaker 2 35:02

Meanwhile I'm in the back, like raising my hand, like that's how I like to start to do it. So I said, oh, there's tea. I said loudly there's tea. And they kept walking and I'm saying, well, do they not hear me? Are they ignoring me? Or they're just so directed towards the finalization of that day's goal that they feel like they have to keep charging forth.

Speaker 2 35:28

So finally, I sort of stomped my foot internally and said I really need tea. And they turned around and said, oh well, I don't know if you could get a to-go cup. And I said, oh well, I don't care, I go in, they give me a to-go cup. I'm balancing my poles, I'm balancing my backpack, I want to sip my tea and they're off. So I'm struggling, like trying to sip my tea, balancing my poles, walking along the rocks. We couldn't stop for the tea. We, I drank the tea on route, I mean. Now, on the other hand, where the love and the admiration comes in is that I had to do nothing, I just had to walk. They had everything planned and arranged and timed, and so they took care. They always took care of me.

Speaker 1 36:26

Yeah, now look, I've met Lynn and Lori and I adore them. But if I were walking with them, you know I like to stop. I like to have my cafe con leche first thing in the morning. You know I'd want to stop. What kept you from just saying go ahead and I'll catch up?

Speaker 2 36:43

Well, remember, we did stop. I don't want to. We would start the day and I don't always eat breakfast or have coffee in the morning, so we would start and walk, let's say three hours. So if we started at six, say by nine or 10, we would stop and eat. So when we did that, they always had either fresh squeeze orange juice or cafe con leche. They had that. Okay, Okay, Just that they shared their piece of toast and I wanted food. I was always looking for protein by the way, eggs are not big in in Spain, but I would, I would eat them. So we did eat. It's just that.

Speaker 2 37:21

So I don't mean to say that, it's just that their patterns of eating were so different than mine Ended up not objecting. Now we would. And I even say in the piece, don't get me wrong we do eat a pilgrim meal. Every night we go to the pilgrim menu and there were some times where I ordered double and they would remind me again oh, you're having two desserts. Huh, I would do.

Speaker 2 37:44

But the largest thing, as I say in the piece, is different than me. Their eating was always for nourishment. My eating is for joy, celebration, connection, unity. I'm Italian, Eating is sacred, so there wasn't a joy in eating. There wasn't a joy in eating If I drank coffee. I probably would have had a cafe con leche. But it wasn't really until afterward that I realized, boy, I really didn't eat any of these Spanish. I mean, so many pilgrims will write me and say, oh, you never tried this or you never had this. But from the pilgrim menu we did what is it? And saladia russa I always had. But there were other things that people mentioned that I never came near. I, and how about the baked goods? I, there were never any baked goods. The woman I met from copenhagen pulled me out of the bakery. Like what, like I said, did you lose weight.

Speaker 1 38:51

Did you lose weight during this unintentionally?

Speaker 2 38:53

I lost about a pound a week and people go that's nothing but it is a lot because, remember, I was training beforehand, so my walking was the same, so I did lose. I did lose like maybe five or six pounds, which I immediately put on again, but it wasn't. It wasn't like I ever felt like I really have to put my my foot down and say we are going to stop now and eat Now. The one time I did put my foot down is we were exhausted. It was the day we did 17 miles and we end up in an albergue and it really looked like a low level one. It looked sort of dirty and they were ready to book it. And they were ready to book it and I said wait a minute. And I opened the door and I saw all sorts of shapes and bodies of men walking around in their underwear and I opened the door and just went no, no, I screamed, we're not staying here. And that was the only time where it really got to the point where it's like, no, we're not staying here.

Speaker 2 39:54

So we walk outside and the angels descended and along this cobblestone street came a bank of windows and it said you know, four star hotel or something. I said we are staying here tonight and they said, oh, you don't know what it's going to cost. And I said I'm paying for everybody, I don't care what, not that they would ever let me do that. But they were concerned, always concerned, about the expenditure of my money. I don't care, I have the money. So we spent one night in a real hotel, so to take a real shower with a towel and have a bathroom, and it was glorious.

Speaker 2 40:35

But what cracked me up is that the next day they have a beautiful spread of a buffet and Lori is saying, oh, she's expounding on the wonders of this decor. Look at these butters in the shape of roses and I'm like what? Have you never seen a butter pat like that? Meanwhile, they're admiring the display while I am shoving bread, bologna, turkey in my pockets to eat along the trail. A pear, I have this, so I guess we'd have that lovely breakfast. And this isn't in the. There's so many things not in the piece. So we're walking through this mint field. This is when I'm starting to get my sore throat and I'm there again admiring. Did you know this is a four stemmed plant and they're you know? Did you know this is a four stemmed plant and they're, you know, observing the four stems. I'm meanwhile stuffing mint in my mouth, chewing it, trying to get you know, soothe my throat and I said you know what? And this is one of the zits.

Speaker 3 42:05

I said I ate that pear at 7 am.

Journey of Healing and Reflection

Speaker 2 42:06

It's gone. It's gone. I mean, their habits are just so different than mine. But it made me realize, boy, I really am an eater. I guess I really am. Really am an eater.

Speaker 1 42:16

Yeah. So after the Camino, did this change you at all in how you eat or how you speak up for yourself? Was there any lasting effect of this carrying over into life post-Camino?

Speaker 2 42:39

this carrying over into life post Camino. Well, I I tried to think a little. I have a real sugar problem but I think after the Camino, what I tried to think of is eating more, more type limited portions and recognizing that if I took the time to give pause and wait, that I could eat limited portions. But unfortunately it would take a lot more than the Camino to control my sugar, my sugar craze. But you know, I did a show in Sacramento, which is where Lori lives, and it was startling to see her cabinets, how different they are than mine, the minimal kinds of food that she has, and even now, of course, she lives alone, but even in terms of the dishes, like you know, maybe two bowls and two plates, and of course that reflects the whole notion of minimalism that I discovered in the walk.

Speaker 2 43:33

And that is probably the biggest takeaway that influenced my life at home the most, because I have lots of things. I have lots of memorabilia, especially with theater and things like that, and things held from my mother, and I have started to purge to lessen things in my life and it's been okay. I take an item that was made by my mom, maybe, or by my dear aunt, I literally kiss it and speak a bit about what joy this has brought me, where it has been with me and I've thrown it away or I've put it to goodwill, and that's been an ongoing process. That's been an ongoing. So, less about the food, more about the notion of minimalism, and I mentioned that too, because my father, I realized, had real minimalistic tendencies, but he came from poverty and he would have been, so that was something I didn't mention in the piece, but there was a recognition at the end.

Speaker 2 44:41

Besides all the more spiritual things, that came to thought is the thought that I, my father, would have been so proud of what I did, and I started to examine the why of that and how he wasn't materialistic and that he didn't emphasize money. There was never, we never needed a lot of money, we needed just enough money. So I think that's why maybe all of my brothers and sisters were comfortable. None of us are, you know, beyond means, but he, uh, the relationships among among us, you know, don't forget your brothers and sisters constantly pounded into our heads and the notion that you don't really need much, you just need enough to to get by, and so, and I think that's that's a very valuable thing that you know, a lot of people, um, people don't carry through in this world of excess because there is so much excess right now and, like I said, none of this was planned, none of this was it for a month's time was very reinforcing, very reinforcing, interesting.

Speaker 1 46:05

What a lovely thing to have during this transition from you leaving your career going back now to acting.

Speaker 2 46:11

Yeah, yeah. And I have to tell you, lee, I have to speak a little bit about the end, because the end I never expected a big, uh, life-changing event at the end of the Camino. Um, that came, as you say, later, in the realization of all the little moments. But there really was that moment in the chapel where I removed myself from the slideshow and I ended up kneeling at the front of the altar on this purple velvet cushion and I am not a regular churchgoer and I am never kneeling and I found myself in that position and those words literally came to me out of nowhere. Bless me, father, for I have sinned, reflective of past vulnerability, times when, in my Catholic upbringing, I went to confession, times when, in my Catholic upbringing, I went to confession. But the release of a lot of the negative or what you might say, not that I live by regrets, but what, what sometimes would keep me awake at night the thoughts of things I've done wrong, harsh words that I've said in the past to people that I wish I could take back. There was a release of that and when there was that transition of, all of a sudden, the good of my life that has come, come um flood, flooded towards me. In that moment, kneeling on that pillow was was really profound and um, um, I really don't know how I captured that because that was certainly not something that I wrote down, but, um, it really sealed the piece. It really sealed the piece to go absolutely of woe about things done wrong and then a complete switch to the things that have been beneficial.

Speaker 2 48:18

And as a speech language pathologist, I was kind of like the end of catcher in the rye, always trying to catch the needy kids. And I would say to you I have about six or seven children in my life that I've kind of fostered in a sense. Sometimes they call me foster mother, even though I wasn't literally a foster mother. They have kept in touch with me through my life, periodically and, lee, you cannot possibly imagine that in three instances, not possibly imagine that in three instances after not seeing them for years.

Speaker 2 49:01

They were in the audience of my show and when I get to that moment where I'm on the pillow and I say I see the faces of children that I have helped and and in that moment it was like theater became reality, because I knew their faces were in the audience, you know, and that was where I there was no longer any acting, it was just. This is. This is real, you know. And and in another instance I was at a church in Morristown and I didn't know that one of them was in the audience, and that was just so powerful, so powerful. So to think that the Camino and my piece has brought back the children of my life that I've've had an influence on, you know, I mean, as I say to you, you can start to hear, this goes beyond a theater experience, it's a life experience, you know oh, that coming full circle.

Speaker 1 50:09

I can't, you know, I can't even imagine I. I wanted to ask you why you named the show, what you did, because I remember when I heard about it and got tickets to come and see it and you know, as a pilgrim and friends with many pilgrims, I know we all do cry on the Camino and so I was expecting, you know, kind of a sadder show, you know a more emotional in the beginning and then you know, because it's quite funny in the beginning, right, oh, oh know, because it's quite funny in the beginning, right?

Impactful Reunion and Shared Gratitude

Speaker 2 50:37

oh, oh yeah, I mean that's what I say to people such humor name, I mean you're gonna laugh hysterically. It's a I'd say, a tale of hilarity, hardship and healing, and it is yes, hardship, yes, I don't know, you've got everything in it right, but that indie is so moving, celeste, I can't what.

Speaker 1 50:59

What were these children, past children, now they're grownups and they've come to see the show? I mean, I was moved, as a pilgrim, I you know how. Do you think that felt for them to hear your words for?

Speaker 2 51:14

them to hear your words. Well, you know, since then I've reunited with them for another dinner, you know. So it's, it's brought everything back full circle and two of them are just, oh so genuinely honest and vulnerable. And they said to me you are, you are my mother. One of them calls me mama, still calls me mama. He says you are my mother, second mother, and she said when she was describing to me that she's had struggles with alcoholism. She said and now I am not drinking. She said and when they go through the good of my life and the bad of my life and the wrong of my life, and the good of my life is you and art, that's my husband. And I was like, wow, you know, kind of reinforcement.

Speaker 2 52:08

It also comes with it still a bit of pain because she has a very difficult life. These two sisters have a very difficult life because they were very poor when I met them and lots of love in the family, but became pregnant too soon and they have children to raise and they're in not the easiest straits still right now. But you know what, lee, I, I'm there for them and I do what I can for them. You know it's not like they asked me for a lot. It's an occasional and I'm like rare, like I need $200 for my water bill and I'll pay you back. I'll pay you back, and that happens like maybe once a year.

Speaker 2 52:56

There's just such a mutual understanding of both of our. I mean I realized that the value is my friendship with them, and not so much when they have financial needs, but when the one came to me in the recent dinner and said to me, when I have to outline in in my with my sponsor, the good of my life and the bad, you and art are the good, it's like wow, wow and so long ago, so long ago. But it's almost eerie because upon meeting there's like seven of them, upon meeting each one of them in my younger 20s, there was a thought one was always crying in the pre-k and she always looked so much and well, every single time I said to myself we are going to have a long and binding relationship with these six. I knew it, there was something I knew. And there are six of them. Yeah and uh, four.

Speaker 1 54:09

Four have have seen my show that's amazing, celeste, the fact that you, you know when you, when you kneel down like that and you know none of us in the audience first time seeing it, know what you're about to say and when it becomes a prayer of gratitude, a prayer of remembering the fact that they were one of those things that you were so grateful about, the people you were so grateful for, and then having them come back and see your show what an amazing gift I, oh yeah it was amazing and, as a matter of fact, the one night, when I say the faces of people, family, children, and I caught I didn't even catch sight of her face because this was a darkened theater, but when I registered to say this is what I mean about concentration when I registered to say she's here in the audience, that for a second threw me.

Speaker 2 55:07

I mean you can never, you can never go off off course. And I just took a deep breath to get myself back because that almost threw me, that almost threw me and that ending is so important. You don't want to throw you, so it's a weird thing.

Speaker 1 55:29

Celeste, I think I could talk to you all night. I could interview you. There's so many other questions I want to ask you. But, you know, I think I will leave it for everybody to come see the show. People couldn't see how many times during this interview that I'm covering my mouth, trying to not laugh, because you just have a way of saying things that just delight me and so tell everybody. Where can they do? Is there a show coming up? How will they find out? Can they follow you?

Speaker 2 55:58

Well, the big thing is my website that always lists future performances and, interestingly, you know, the big theaters are great but, as you mentioned, when I do some of these smaller venues where there are 50 people, it's a whole different interaction because I'm literally talking to the people and seeing their faces. And but there are two in my hometown of Fairlawn. Then I'm going to be back at the Gateway Playhouse in Summers Point, New Jersey, but the American Pilgrims will be scheduling things throughout the United States. So it's crycamino at gmailcom or just cry Camino, cry Caminocom is all you need and that's my website.

Speaker 1 56:43

All right, I'll have a link in the show notes so people can find it wwwcrycaminocom, you'll find out everything.

Speaker 1 56:51

Well, what a joy it's been to see you again and to relive the show through this conversation. I can't encourage everyone enough to run to see this. If it comes near you or it's within flying distance or driving distance, please go see it. You won't be disappointed. Whether you've walked a Camino or you're getting ready to walk your first one, this gives you a very realistic viewpoint of what it's like to walk a Camino and also what it's like to receive the powerful transformation that is possible at a pilgrimage. So thank you, celeste, for capturing the beauty of the Camino so wonderfully, and it's an absolute delight.

Speaker 2 57:32

Everybody should follow your podcast because you ask great questions.

Goodbye and New Beginnings

Speaker 1 57:36

Thank, you for that. Thank you so much. Well, I'm going to end the show. Thank you everyone. Celeste, please stay on so you and I can say goodbye. But thank you everyone for listening. Remember to go to the link in the show notes so that you can find out where Celeste's show is playing next, and be sure to watch our new show, the Camino News Update. We talk about all things Camino and I can't wait to see everyone back here in Santiago.

Speaker 1 58:01

Or if it's your first time to meet you for the first time. Thanks, everyone.

Speaker 3 58:09

Que necesito En la vida Ya están aquí. Las cosas Que necesito En la vida Ya están aquí. I am free Free as a bird now With my feathered wings. I am free Free as a bird now, with my feathered wings. Thank you.