Ep 3: 3 Ways Emotional Healing Helps Us Decondition

Emotional healing is coming up *everywhere* in my reality, so I got to thinking - how does emotional healing (or lack thereof) help (or hinder) our deconditioning process? Today I'm sharing 3 ways!

Mentioned in this episode:

- Guide to Your Personal Manifestation Process

Related Pure Generators blog posts:

- The Hierarchy of Conditioning in Your Undefined Centers
- Emotional Authority and Regretting Decisions
- How to Thrive with an Open or Undefined Solar Plexus

Transcript

In this episode of New Paradigm human we're talking about three ways emotional healing is important to our human design deconditioning process.

Hi, everyone, it's Rachel. And today I am really looking forward to discussing a topic that is very near and dear to my heart but also has just been around me in a million ways lately. So being a generator, whenever something is orbiting me, I know that it's something that's probably pretty important in my reality right now. And that topic is how emotional healing affects our deconditioning process and our journey as we move into embodying who we uniquely are on an oral level.

Lately I have been down a deep dive on, I guess what I would call disgraced self help gurus. Just people who do work that is tangential or in the same vein as the work that I do and the things that I'm interested in. The people who have had backlash from the public about certain things they've said or certain things I've done. I feel like I've been watching this to learn but also, just to get to the bottom of why this happens to people who, i don't really do feel on a deep level want to do something positive in the world, but it just kind of spins off the rails. And I guess I was kind of curious as to why. And the answer seems to be a lack of emotional maturity, healing, regulation, all of these types of things.

This isn't the only place this is coming up in my life. It's coming up in all types of ways in my personal life as well. But this has been a very big part of my life since about 2013 or 2014 When I began to, I guess, quote, unquote, “awaken” and start to see that maybe some of the choices that I was making in my life weren't really taking me where I wanted to go and maybe there was a different way to think about things or something that I really needed to heal within myself. Before I could move forward.

So I spent a lot of years going through what you might call a twin flame journey, purging tonnes of emotions, doing a lot of deep emotional healing. And then at a certain point a few years ago, I really reached a stable place with that it's not that these things ever fully go away. But I also don't really agree with this idea of like, we're gonna be healing forever because while we are going to be growing and experiencing different facets of being a human being forever, because we're alive and things are always changing. We're always learning things. I really don't feel that we have to be in a healing place for our entire lives with everything. Some things may be present for our entire lives, but I feel like a lot of things can become something that feels a bit more like it's in the past. That's how I feel about a lot of my deeper intense sort of emotional wounds. Things I feel like I got in this lifetime things I felt like I came into this lifetime with after taking the time to really go deep into those things and make that I know the centre of my life for two to three years. 

Everyone's experience is going to be different. But all that is to say is that I don't think it's necessarily true that we are healing everything forever and we have to be in a constant state of healing. We really can make progress on things especially when they're really big and they're holding us back from having the kind of jobs or relationships or satisfaction or peace or just good feelings that we want to have as humans in the world. But doing this healing is so important, and it's really important for our human design deconditioning journey, because without it, we're going to come up against certain limits when it comes to expressing our true selves. 

So today I wanted to talk about three ways that emotional healing is important in our deconditioning process. The first way that emotional healing is important is that it helps us come into harmony with our own emotional system in our body graph. So you're either going to have a defined emotional solar plexus, which is that centre that sort of at the bottom right of the body graph, the far least to the right kind of in the middle or you're gonna have it undefined so it's not coloured in or you're gonna have it with no gates or channels coloured and like I do completely open and this is fairly common. I see. A lot of generators with this 50% of the population has a defined 50% has an undefined. There's a lot of distortion in the emotional field. I would say probably the number one centre of distortion in our collective at least in the Western world right now is the heart centre. But honestly the emotional centre probably comes next. And when we know how to work with our own emotional centre, we can come into this place of harmony with the way that our bodies are dealing with emotions. So if you have a defined emotional centre and then that's going to be your authority as well which is also really important. 50% of people have this as their authority, their decision making tool. It's really helpful to learn to acknowledge your emotions, be present with your emotions, allow yourself to be different emotionally day to day, to have some ups, to have some downs and realise that that is a really magical essential part of who you are and you have to find outlets for that emotional energy.

There's an innate creativity to this energy, but really it just needs to be expressed. You need to be able to express it to yourselves to express it honestly to others. To find maybe you put it into music into writing, indigenous writing in your journal, into art. There's so many different ways that this can express. It's such a beautiful thing. I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I was writing about the channels that go from the solar plexus up to the throat as part of the guides to your personal manifestation process. So I'll link those below. But it was very fun to think about the different ways that those channels express themselves. A lot of times we're conditioned to not honour our emotions, not be present with our emotions, be afraid of our emotions. Feel especially if you have that defined emotional centre to feel like you're too much, like you're overwhelming in your emotional intensity. And so for you if you have that defined, coming to that place where you understand the mechanics of that centre for you, where you understand that you're going to be up sometimes you're going to be low sometimes that you need more time to make decisions. That clarity for you is not something that is in the moment, that it's something that you gain awareness of as you give yourself a little bit of time to feel yourself your way through things. That is absolutely going to change your life because if you're always trying to hurry yourself out of feeling a certain way or hurry yourself to make decisions or feel maybe that your emotions don't matter and that they're not an important part of your life. Then that's gonna make life so difficult for you because you have this gift of this defined emotional centre, this consistent wave of emotions, it's always showing up in your life and giving you a lot of awareness about your existence and helping guide you.

If you have an undefined emotional centre. Your journey is going to be about not taking every emotion that you have as truth, especially when you're around other people. As someone who also has an undefined i actually have  a completely open emotional centre. I've learned a lot about being very selective about who I'm around, when I have the opportunity to be selective and you also learn to observe and release emotions that you have because they are not the truth for you. They're not something that's really going to provide you with a lot of useful awareness about decisions you're making. They're just something that you experience from the outside world and they do teach you things. I really find that as a completely open solar plexus. The world comes in and triggers certain emotions within me through events that I need to see. And so when those things happen, it is really helpful and those do provide me with a lot of awareness. But ultimately my job is still to observe that emotion, notice it and let it go.

The same goes for being around other people. We all have emotional authority defined emotional people in our life. That's half the population. I live with two people with emotional authority. And so for me, it's really important to make sure that I am naming the emotions that I feel when I'm around them, like not letting it be an elephant in the room. If I'm feeling that someone's frustrated, like hey, you seem frustrated or you seem sad or you see Miss and then it gives them an opportunity to be like oh yeah, I do feel that way and then I can kind of observe it, release it and they can continue their way through their emotional wave with more awareness. It's also important as an undefined emotional person to take some time towards the end of the day or throughout the day to be in your own space with your own aura and release some of those things that you've taken on. There is just so much emotional distortion in the world. There's a lot of really crazy things that happen and pretty much all of it, you can trace back to emotional distortion and people not knowing how to deal with their emotions, people having tonnes of trauma and not having the opportunity to deal with their emotions. I'm actually dealing with a situation in my neighbourhood which has been very difficult and stressful, where there's a drug dealer and a lot of people are coming and doing drugs like hard drugs right in front of my house and it's been interesting to witness who these people are what they're doing, and I have a lot of compassion for people who are inactive addiction like that.

But I have been thinking, you know, how do we end up here? How does a person end up in a place where that feels like their best option? There's a lot of political reasons and the fact that people have no access to all sorts of treatment and things that we need and that really has a lot to do with it. But ultimately, like the deepest root of all of this is that we have to find some way to escape emotions that feel so painful. That a better alternative feels like numbing ourselves or taking something that really harms our body brings us around terrible people. makes our life basically disintegrate because that's what I see happening to these people who are frequenting this place. And so yeah, when we understand how our specific system works, we as undefined emotional people don't have to walk around carrying all the heaviness of the world. When it really isn't ours. Some things are ours, some things trigger things within us. Absolutely. But those are going to be temporary experiences for us. And the majority of the emotional intensity that we feel out in the world is going to be coming from other people. So it's up to us as people who are open and sensitive in that area, To observe and release that emotion in whatever way makes sense for us. Instead of letting it weigh us down or trying to feel it to release it. It's just not necessarily going to work that way for us. It's not going to give us a lot of awareness, it will probably just weigh us down. 

The second way that emotional healing can really help us is that it allows us to actually embody our design. I suppose this is a lot of what I was observing in these self help gurus who had been cancelled or disgraced was what prompted their downfall in a lot of ways was that they came out was some kind of hypocrisy that really bothered the people who were looking up to them because they had position themselves as a type of leader. But when we have a lot of unhealed emotional stuff underneath that we are completely unaware of and we're not working through because the idea here is not perfection, but it's just making progress on it. And honestly when we're aware of these things, that is like 80% of the battle sometimes. But basically they were not able to embody something that really was one of their values because that value was coming from their mind and it was not allowing them to actually live what they wanted to really like practice what they preach, essentially. And I see this in the human design space too. I know a lot of people who have a lot of knowledge about human design or about their design. But when it comes to it and the end of the day I see them actually show up in the world completely out of alignment living in what we call the not self generators that are frustrated, projectors that are deeply bitter and like throwing that all over the internet, manifester who are angry or reflectors who are disappointed and we all go through those things that is part of being our design, like we don't eradicate those things. But when we're not aware that that's where we're sitting, then life just isn't that fun. We can't actually embody who we're here to be. 

So our minds can have all the knowledge in the world about these things. But until we've actually gone there and healed some of those things and felt our way through it. It's just going to be very difficult to feel good in our own skin, to feel good in our own bodies and our own auras.

A lot of what we learn in human design is that so much of our existence as our aura is mechanical, It's not personal to other people. Of course there are things that are personal things where we're having an issue with someone or they're hurting us in some way or we're hurting them and then it is personal and we have to be willing to have those discussions with people in our lives who matter to us. But most things that people do really aren't personal to us. But one of the biggest problems that we have when we haven't done this type of emotional healing, is we take everything personally and I definitely see that in the online space. I really see that everywhere. We assume that everyone who's probably just trying to be themselves that they're doing something to us. And that is just a mass distortion of reality because honestly, most things really are not about us. And that's why human design is so beautiful because it helps us see how everyone operates differently and how can we, as differentiated unique beings coexist together in a way that honours each other and respects each other, but also allows us to be who we are.

Which leads me to number three, which is when we engage in our own emotional healing it allows us to see other people more clearly and allows us to let them be who they are and let ourselves be who we are. When I think of the early days with my partner there were so many things just about the way that he operated that because I was deeply unhealed in the relationship area of my life. I assumed were like direct affront to me. They really weren't it was him being forgetful, him having AHD and having struggles with managing that mean just not understanding who he was. And so I assumed that everything that he did was about me and I couldn't see who he was or what he was trying to do. What he was really saying to me when we're emotionally charged. And all of these wounds that we've never looked at are just coming up and convincing us that we're right and the other person's wrong. It's like we can't even see the other person. We probably all know a little bit about the fifth line and human design, which is the projection field and even if you're not a fifth line profile, most of us have a fifth line energies somewhere in our chart. This is a universal thing that we all deal with on planet Earth.

When we're deeply mired in our own wounds, and we're constantly thinking about our own pain. We kind of look at the world through the lens of thinking that everything is about us and our pain. And it's like we don't even know that there's a difference because we just most of us aren't given the kind of tools and assistance with this kind of thing earlier in our lives that we all deserve. We just aren't.

So I definitely remember for myself. It was like I just couldn't see anyone clearly. Whereas once I got a certain amount of those things healed over time. It was like, I can sit there as myself and I feel confident in myself and I feel clear and I feel calm and I can look at that other person and see what they're dealing with and just see that whatever they're saying to me in those cases, just really isn't about me. I mean, unless it is about me in which case okay, then I can take responsibility for that or think about it. But in those cases where you kind of know it's like, Oh, this isn't about me. And then you can kind of defuse a situation you can help yourself. You can extend grace to the other person. You can listen, you can be there for them. And life just goes so much smoother, it just so much better. It's such a joy to see who other people truly are. And it's such a relief, to not have to feel everything is about us. It's just such a relief.

So now that we've talked about those three ways that emotionally healing is important to our human design deconditioning process that I thought of, I guess now you can touch a little bit on like, how do we do this emotional healing I would say most people who are listening to this, have some experience in this area because you're here you're interested in this kind of thing. And yeah, it's kind of one of the first places we go. I am not an expert in this. I am not a therapist. I do not consider myself a healer but I have been through it and I have done a lot of this work on myself and I can say that there is really no one way. Therapy is always a really good place to start. There are certain things that can't be achieved in therapy and then maybe you move from that into more energetic things or past life things if that resonates for you, but really setting that as an intention and a desire and admitting that that kind of healing is something that you want to bring into your life is something that then you can use your human design strategy and authority to help guide you toward. if I'm noticing a pattern where my reaction to something my emotional reaction is maybe bigger than what that actual thing is. And that can be very hard to see in the moment. So often it requires someone else to help you figure that out and see that that's when I know that I could probably benefit from taking some time to Look at the deeper thing that's going on in that situation. I know that throughout my time, anytime I tried to force something or go at it before it was ready or seek out something that I thought I had to do in my mind in order to achieve x and y and z, which is exactly what I shouldn't do as a generator, it really didn't work out well for me. When I live in alignment with my aura, I hold the desire, I allow things to come to me. And I do things that I truly enjoy that feel meaningful for me that I feel like I have energy for. That's how I really got through that process. So there is no one size fits all, everyone is gonna have different opinions about these types of things. But you can trust your inner guidance to help lead you to the things that are going to truly be helpful for you. 

And that's actually another point it can be hard to hear our inner guidance when we are swirling in our wounds and issues and emotions all of the time in a way that isn't in alignment with our design it for emotional authority, and we're ignoring and stuffing down our emotions and not paying attention to them. If we're undefined solar plexus and we are constantly like holding on to everything that everyone puts on, puts out into the field and we're allowing it to weigh us down and we're not observing it and releasing it then that's going to make it really hard to hear our inner guidance as well. So yeah, I am looking forward to the planet being a more emotionally balanced place. I have so much hope I see the younger generations have just so much more awareness of this because as time goes on, people are realising that this is really important. We don't need to be dealing with things like mass shootings and constant violence. And people not caring about other people in the world. Our world is going to transform so much as more and more and more people do this healing. It's such an important thing and it's not just a selfish thing. It's something that literally helps the entire world. When we feel confident in ourselves, and we get to a place where we can look at another person and really see them for who they are, as opposed to just swirling around in our own mix of crap, that is just such a magical thing to have happened. So I have so much hope for the world. We're definitely going in the right direction, but we are not there yet.

 So yeah, thank you all for being here for wanting to move through the world as your true selves for wanting a better world. And yes, some therapy,  healing all of that, will have such a big effect on how much you're able to embody your design. So if you're ever wondering if that's something you want to put energy towards, I highly recommend it. So thank you, everyone, and I'll talk to you next time.