In this episode LaDema talks about Emotionally Healthy Boundaries and why they are important. Several examples are given of different scenarios and how Emotionally Healthy Boundaries could be set.
Take Away Points:
*When do we know that we need Emotionally Healthy Boundaries:
. Usually when we are feeling resentful, angry, or realize we’re doing a good deal of whining or complaining about something.
*Without EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY BOUNDARIES:
.We can subject ourselves to feeling EXPOSED or VULNERABLE
.We are always consenting to what everyone else wants or needs, at the expense of sacrificing our own wants/needs
*What are some the things that Prevent us from setting EHBs?
.The fear of REJECTION or ABANDONMENT
.Wanting to AVOID CONFRONTATION
.Feelings of GUILT (we are not doing anything wrong)
.We were never taught or shown how to do this
*What’s the Risk or Cost of EMOTIONALLY UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES:
.We can share too much too soon, leading to that feeling of Vulnerability or Exposure
.We can keep our Boundaries so tight or rigid that we close ourselves off from others
.We don’t allow ourselves to say NO out of fear of REJECTION
.We keep a weak sense of self because we base our self value on how others treat us
.We continue to allow ourselves to be DISEMPOWERED by allowing others to make decisions for us…this can lead to a feeling of POWERLESSNESS over self
.We Don’t take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves, because we’re allowing others to make decisions for us… this can lead to a sense of VICTIMIZATION.
*The BENEFITS of EHBs:
.We have a sense of taking good care of ourselves, and this can lead to improved or positive Self-Esteem
.We are protecting our Emotional and Physical space from being intruded upon
.We begin to feel a sense of ASSERTIVENESS as we practice saying Yes or No in SPEAKING UP FOR OURSELVES
.We end up EMPOWERING ourselves to make healthy choices and take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves!!
*Dos of EHBs
.Do be CLEAR, CALM, FIRM, RESPECTFUL when setting EHBs
.Do REMEMBER your are NOT responsible for the other person’s reaction to your boundary
.Do REMEMBER that it takes TIME and PRACTICE
.Do EXPECT that the EHBs will be TESTED… likely more than once
email: ladema@embracethewrestle.net
Facebook: embracethewrestle
Instagram: embracethewrestle
Website: www.embracethewrestle.net
In this episode LaDema talks about Emotionally Healthy Boundaries and why they are important. Several examples are given of different scenarios and how Emotionally Healthy Boundaries could be set.
Take Away Points:
*When do we know that we need Emotionally Healthy Boundaries:
. Usually when we are feeling resentful, angry, or realize we’re doing a good deal of whining or complaining about something.
*Without EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY BOUNDARIES:
.We can subject ourselves to feeling EXPOSED or VULNERABLE
.We are always consenting to what everyone else wants or needs, at the expense of sacrificing our own wants/needs
*What are some the things that Prevent us from setting EHBs?
.The fear of REJECTION or ABANDONMENT
.Wanting to AVOID CONFRONTATION
.Feelings of GUILT (we are not doing anything wrong)
.We were never taught or shown how to do this
*What’s the Risk or Cost of EMOTIONALLY UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES:
.We can share too much too soon, leading to that feeling of Vulnerability or Exposure
.We can keep our Boundaries so tight or rigid that we close ourselves off from others
.We don’t allow ourselves to say NO out of fear of REJECTION
.We keep a weak sense of self because we base our self value on how others treat us
.We continue to allow ourselves to be DISEMPOWERED by allowing others to make decisions for us…this can lead to a feeling of POWERLESSNESS over self
.We Don’t take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves, because we’re allowing others to make decisions for us… this can lead to a sense of VICTIMIZATION.
*The BENEFITS of EHBs:
.We have a sense of taking good care of ourselves, and this can lead to improved or positive Self-Esteem
.We are protecting our Emotional and Physical space from being intruded upon
.We begin to feel a sense of ASSERTIVENESS as we practice saying Yes or No in SPEAKING UP FOR OURSELVES
.We end up EMPOWERING ourselves to make healthy choices and take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves!!
*Dos of EHBs
.Do be CLEAR, CALM, FIRM, RESPECTFUL when setting EHBs
.Do REMEMBER your are NOT responsible for the other person’s reaction to your boundary
.Do REMEMBER that it takes TIME and PRACTICE
.Do EXPECT that the EHBs will be TESTED… likely more than once
email: ladema@embracethewrestle.net
Facebook: embracethewrestle
Instagram: embracethewrestle
Website: www.embracethewrestle.net